Having a warm, healthy relationship with an adult can be healing for children who have experienced trauma.
These relationships provide safety and grounding. Fostering these types of relationships in the classroom can create safety for all students.
Strategies fostering these relationships are outlined below. CAPPD This acronym provides a guideline of trauma informed relationship building.
Calm
The goal is to create a relaxed, focused state for yourself and your students. Learning to regulate emotions and return to a relaxed state after being alarmed or triggered helps children function in the neocortex, which is responsible for complex thinking and learning.
Attuned
Be aware of children’s non-verbal cues including body language, tone of voice, and emotional state.
These cues indicate how much and what types of activities and learning the child can manage. You must connect with a child on an emotional, sensory level before moving to a cognitive level.
Present
Be in the moment and focus your attention on the child. All children can tell when people are not truly engaged or paying attention to them.
Predictable
Provide children with routine, structure, and repeated positive experiences. This will help children to feel safe and allow them to be free to grow and explore.
Don’t Let children’s emotions escalate your own. Remain in control of your own emotions and the expression of them. The best way for children to learn to regulate their emotions is by watching us regulate ours.
Fostering Relationships
By connecting with students in a compassionate and understanding way, teachers can plant the seed for strong relationships to form.
These relationships are integral in providing the safety children need in order to learn and grow at school. Provide Unconditional Positive Regard
Show genuine respect for students as persons.
Provide kindness and empathize with the challenges students experience at home and school.
Recognize the healing power of an adult who cares.
Be a “Turn-around teacher” by consistently acting and responding with positive regard.
Be Understanding Get to know the child’s history and understand where behaviors are coming from.
This understanding can increase empathy for the teacher and let the child know they are understood and valued.
Get Down on Eye Level When interacting or talking to children, get down on eye level and make regular eye contact. Being on the same physical level as children can help them feel safe, more in control and connected.
Always Empower, Never Disempower
Children may compete with their teachers for power because they believe that they can achieve safety by controlling their environment.
Teachers are in positions of power and authority.
Attempts at control over traumatized students are often counterproductive.
When possible, avoid battles for control.
Hold students accountable.
Maintain Connection Try to maintain a connection even if a child is distracted, acting out, or withdrawn. If you notice a child dissociating, try using gentle attempts to connect with them. You can say a word, “Hi” or try to gain eye contact. Ask for permission to make eye contact before engaging.
Be Nurturing Be fully present in your interactions. Validate their feelings. Provide comfort and physical affection when sought. Laugh and play games. Provide safe mental, physical, and social challenges.
Communicate Respect and Transparency
Be open and honest with children. Don’t hide information from them or avoid their questions.
Be respectful in your tone, words, and body language.
This helps promote effective communication and promotes children’s sense of identity and self-worth.
These experiences will help children learn to regulate their emotions and behaviors.
Check-in With Yourself
Take time to check in with yourself and note your own feelings, assumptions, triggers, and needs. Relationship- based work such as teaching may be supported by understanding of your own needs, using supports, and practicing self-care.
Check Assumptions, Observe, and Question
Identify your assumptions about students, trauma, and how best to work with students impacted by trauma, and then choose to make an observation instead. Based on those observations, ask questions. Example: Assumption – I need to show who is boss in this classroom. Observation – Sarah gets disruptive whenever I set boundaries and I get frustrated and send her out. Question – How best do I maintain control of the class without triggering students? It may be helpful to record your observations to help remove emotionally charged reactions.
Remain Neutral
Children with trauma may try to arouse aggression in adults as it is much more familiar to them than calm relationships. Remain calm when this happens, avoid power struggles. Reflect on your own emotions when this is happening, ask yourself what you need, it may be control, space, support, or all of the above. Take a step back – if you need to step away from the child do so and then go back.
Maintain Teacher Role (Compassion Fatigue)
Because of the intensity of trauma-informed relationships, it is normal for teachers to fantasize about taking a certain child home with them to parent, and children may in fact ask teachers to do this. Make time to talk to someone about this in order to maintain effectiveness as your primary role as a teacher as well as to avoid burn out