Satire Piece

College Football Bowl Games

By Abbie Wright

Representation is important. The United States stands for freedom, equality (JK, JK), and spending lots of money. Football is a very American sport. The best teams in the country compete in bowl games. The bowl game names are very representative of America. They simply scream, “Yes! We belong to AMERICA!”

The Cheez-It bowl. The name itself provides determination and inspires fear into all that hear that name. The football teams that compete in the Cheez-It bowl must feel so proud……. SO PROUD. In 2019, the teams competing are the Washington State Cougars and the Air Force Falcons. According to fiestabowl.org, "We know both schools well and it is a great honor to host these two accomplished universities in the Valley for a one-of-a-kind experience in downtown Phoenix on a baseball diamond turned gridiron," said Patrick Barkley, Chairman of the Cheez-It® Bowl Board of Directors.” One-of-a-kind experience? More like the best experience of your life!

Now, look at these glorious bowls: The Refrigerator Bowl and The Raisin Bowl. Why compete in a stupid bowl like the Rose Bowl or, god forbid, the College Football Championship, when you could be in the Raisin Bowl?! Tyler Bruggman, the Washington State quarterback, was almost in tears when he found out that he would be in the Cheez-It bowl. He just could not hold in his emotions. He was just TOO happy. He is such a lucky ducky to be in such a great bowl game. Think of all the great bowl games in America's past. The Refrigerator Bowl, The Raisin Bowl, The TaxSlayer Bowl etc, etc, etc. Don’t they all just scream America?

So, the next time you think of America and its manly sport: Football, then remember all those inspiring names. Cheez-It Bowl,Cheez-It Bowl, Refrigerator Bowl FOR your Cheez-It Bowl. Football is monumentous in America and it will stay that way for a long time. Maybe sometime in the future, another tremendous bowl game name will arise. Maybe …. The Fruit Loop Bowl.