Ask Blair (or in this month's case, Ask Santa) is an advice column run by a GPHS student under the alias of Blair. Its purpose is to provide advice to students in search of it. Keep in mind that your responses will most likely be in the next issue of The Scroll. Scroll below to see the answers from last issue's questions!
Last year, we launched the advice column Ask Blair! Everything is 100% anonymous, including my own identity. Though I go by Blair for the purpose of the column, I wouldn’t be surprised if many of you know me outside of The Scroll. I’m a student at GPHS, just like all of you. My goal for the column is to reach out to you guys and do what I can to help you during your times of trouble. Don’t be afraid to send in questions for next month’s issue, and I look forward to writing for you guys in the months to come. Scroll to the bottom to enter your own questions for me, Blair.
*Editor's Note: The Scroll's Ask Blair! Column is to solely provide advice, care, and support to students in need. We want to hear from you, and we understand that some of the topics that will be discussed will be emotional and sometimes distressing, but this advice column is not meant to be used as an alternative to any sort of professional therapy or counseling.
Thank you 🧡
As much as I would love to, I can’t tell you who I am, as that would defeat the purpose of Ask Blair. However, you’re not the first person to ask me a question along this vein in my time as Blair! I promise: there are plenty other people at GP just like you who are looking for new friends. I totally get it, too, because when I was a freshman I had no friends. (Like literally. None.) Now, I’m older and I have tons of amazing relationships that I wouldn’t give up for the world. I found most of my friends through extra-curriculars, like The Scroll and music groups. If you’re not in any right now, I really recommend that you join a few! It’s truly incredible to meet people who care about the same things as you and bond over a common interest.
If you're having trouble finding out how to join clubs (as I'm sure CDL has made them seen almost non-existent), here's a list of a few more laid-back clubs that are continuing to meet-up digitally that might help you out on your journey to find some friends:
*You can contact their advisors with the emails attached for more info on clubs and get the codes for meetings!
Z Club
Advisor: fperry@grantspass.k12.or.us
-Not a lot of people know about this club, due to their odd name (it literally just stands for Zonta since they're a Zonta sponsored club), but they mainly dabble in improving the community. Their club activities are broad, but all rooted in equity-work. So if you're into things like helping put together gifts for foster kids, helping out with homeless-youth donation drives, and proposing your own equity ideas to take into action, then you'll really enjoy hanging with this crowd.
The Scroll ;) Club
Advisor: jtyrrell@grantspass.k12.or.us
-Call me biased, but we're a pretty chill group of people! We'd love to have you. There are tons of friendly people on the team and our president is great at ensuring there's a welcoming, easygoing atmosphere. Plus, you don't even have to be the world's best writer! It's just about showing off student contributions and expressing student voice. All our contact info is in the Contact The Scroll! tab :)
Book Club
Advisor: kweber@grantspass.k12.or.us
-This club has a lot of potential for making new friends, as everyone is talking about their own interests. Keep in mind you will probably have to read a bit, but there's no required reading. You can always go just to hear book-nerds heated discussions on the Percy Jackson series if that sounds more your-speed (that's not all they do, I swear, I'm just thinking of examples). They only meet once a month too if time is a worry for you! It's another very welcoming environment from what I've heard.
Yearbook Club
Advisor: hgreen@grantspass.k12.or.us
-Yearbook is still up and at em'! If you typically make friends through working with people on projects this might be a good choice for you. I believe they're in need of people too, so you would be helping them out alongside possibly making some friends!
Key Club
Advisor: sgross@grantspass.k12.or.us
-This is another volunteer-based club that focuses on helping out the community. It usually has a good amount of people in it, too, so there will be more opportunity for you to find friends hopefully.
Pride Club
Advisor: jtyrrell@grantspass.k12.or.us
-This is a club exclusive to those within the LGBTQ+ spectrum/questioning, but if you are, then you're in luck! It's a super friendly environment and focuses on bonding with one another. A great choice for anyone looking for more friends within the community.
And if these clubs aren't your speed then you can always just join for a bit, get to know someone, and then bounce. Clubs usually come with some level of responsibility, but at the end of the day they're just a club and you can leave at any time :). Sadly, there's limited options on building friendships in CDL than during real life school, but just know that you'll make friends soon!! All it takes is just putting yourself out there a bit. Don't feel too worried about not making any friends over online classes yet, I personally have yet to make any new friends with this new distanced learning thing too, so you're not alone there.
That depends on the look you’re going for! I personally spent a long time trying to find my style, and even now, I don’t have the wardrobe for it. If you’re not someone who typically wears a lot of color and you think you need a change, it could be really refreshing to see yourself in a new look. Something I’ve learned is that you should try as many looks as you can at least once in order to find the style you really feel most comfortable with. I suggest you give it a try and, if you like it, keep it up! If not, at least now you know that it’s not for you, and you can try something else.
It’s also important to note that you don’t need to settle on one look to be your signature style. I have quite a diverse style that depends a lot on my mood, and that may be the case for you, too! If you like it but you still like your old style, there’s nothing wrong with going back and forth or incorporating both into your general style. Another important thing to remember is that experimenting with your personal style is for you and no one else. If someone says something negative about it, especially if you start trying more unique or “alternative” styles, just don’t take it to heart and wear what makes you happy. Your style can be a great way to express yourself or feel good about yourself, and no one has a right to take that from you! :)
This is definitely a tough situation to be in, but it’s okay! There are ways to go about this without hurting either of the people you’re involved with. The first, most important thing to remember is honesty. Be upfront with your current partner. No matter what, do NOT cheat on them, and do not mislead your crush into thinking you’re single. What I would do is take some time to myself to evaluate before taking any action. If you think your crush is the person you want to be with, you should tell your partner that you think you would be better as friends or apart, or that you want to take a break. Tell them that they didn’t do anything wrong, but you’ve been questioning your own happiness and you don’t think it is with them. It’s not because they’re a bad person or they’re unworthy, you just might have feelings for someone else. You could suggest taking a break for you to pursue this other path, and if you’re wrong, you can come back, BUT if you’re certain that your crush is the person for you, don’t lead them on like this. Just remember to let them down easy and be compassionate; getting dumped is still getting dumped, even if there are no hard feelings.
You can’t control your feelings, which is why feeling this way is okay, but it’s also important to remember that with other people involved, you have to be careful. It’s okay (and in fact, necessary) to put your happiness first, but that doesn’t mean you should upset anyone else. Your current partner is bound to be upset about losing their significant other, but you can minimize that pain but being honest and upfront. As long as you don’t lead them on or put them down, I think that everything will work itself out. Good luck, and I hope the best for you, your partner, and your crush! :)
This definitely sucks, but there are ways to make it work! We have enough technology in this day and age to make a situation like this bearable. Instead of texting, try video calling when you can! Even though you can’t be with each other in person, it certainly helps shrink the gap. Some other ways to spend time together virtually is to swap music, or watch movies or shows together! I use an app called Rave that allows you to watch things together on multiple devices, so that’s something I’d recommend looking into. Also, take advantage of free time to visit each other! I’m not sure exactly how far away you guys are, but if it’s close enough to drive, you can take turns visiting each other on weekends, or after school.
Since you spend time with different people, you likely have entirely different friend groups. My boyfriend has a friend group from another school, so he put me in a group chat with some of his friends and I actually befriended some of them myself! Something like this, or even hanging out with each other’s friends, may make your circles closer, and make it easier for you guys to hang out. The most important thing to remember is communication. It can be difficult to maintain communication over a distance, but as long as you’re upfront with your feelings and honest, and you both put in the effort, a long distance relationship can work! I hope I was able to help, and good luck! :)
