IS SAYING GOODBYE DIFFICULT FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD?
Separating from a parent is a very real fear for many elementary age children. In fact, at times, when it becomes severe, children may experience separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is characterized by a child’s irrational fear of leaving the safety of their parents and/ or their home. Children may worry that a parent may become ill or hurt while they are away from them. They may also be fearful of something in their new environment.
Prior to and during an attempt to separate, children experiencing separation anxiety may tantrum, panic, and complain of feeling ill (nausea, headaches, and/or stomach aches). Symptoms seem to be strongest in the morning and are likely to appear after an illness, weekend, or holiday break. A child will usually insist that he/she is truly ill in an effort to stay home. However, if the child stays out of school, it may become increasingly difficult for him/her to return to school. Parents often feel conflicted about whether their child is experiencing a real physical illness or if the ill feelings are related to the child’s emotional response to attending school.
It is advisable to contact school personnel (school counselor, school nurse, and your child’s teacher) as well as your family physician (to rule out something physical). If separation anxiety becomes long term, it can impact a child’s emotional, social, and academic growth. A child’s development of self confidence may be delayed and he/she may have difficulty making new friends. Frequent absences can create a lack of belonging to the class as well as gaps in academic progress.
When a pattern of separation anxiety occurs it is important for families and schools to partner together. A team comprised of a child’s parents and school personnel such as the school counselor, teacher, school nurse, and principal can work together to investigate what may be causing the child’s difficulty with separating. Once some of the possible causes have been identified and discussed, together the parents and school can create a plan to support the child.