1. Intent to Cause Harm – actions done by accident are not bullying; the person bullying (aggressor) has a goal to cause harm. NOT AN ACCIDENT
2. Imbalance of Power – the aggressor uses their power to control or harm and the people being targeted may have a hard time defending themselves.
3. Repetition – incidents of bullying happen to the same person over and over by the same person or a group.
Bain Elementary is teaming with Operation Respect to bring you: Don't Laugh At Me
Through music, video, and classroom activities, the "Don't Laugh at Me" (DLAM) programs help sensitize children to the painful effects of behaviors that too often are accepted as necessary rites of passage in childhood - ridicule, disrespect, ostracism and bullying. Children participating in DLAM learn that by working together they can positively shape their school environment, and eventually bring this message to the broader community.
DLAM is designed to inspire students, along with their teachers and other educators, to transform their classrooms and schools into "Ridicule Free Zones".
Operation Respect's vision of education emphasizes the role of schools as places where children can practice managing their emotions, handling conflict, and standing up to ridicule and bullying. As a parent, you know how traumatic these experiences can be.
It is important that parents and communities are full partners in the changes we are all trying to make in our children's schools. You can play an important advocacy role in the development and implementation of Operation Respect's work.
Children today struggle with the influence of the glamorization of violence and the increase of ridicule and bullying in our society. As ridicule-free classrooms provide an opportunity for young people to experience the bonding they need for healthy development in a school setting, ridicule-free homes can complement and support this experience. As parents and caregivers, we have a critical role to play in reinforcing these lessons of the heart at home.
Where there is peace in the family, children grow up with more immunity to at-risk behaviors related to violence and discrimination. When parents and schools become partners in modeling these skills, children have an even greater chance of witnessing positive examples and learning how to handle themselves in a variety of circumstances.
All children suffer when issues of ridicule and prejudice are not dealt with openly. There are some practical things to remember that will help your children grow up ridicule-free. The following are some strategies and ideas to keep in mind:
• Make it clear that resorting to violence, which includes ridicule and bullying, is not acceptable to you, at home, at school, or in the neighborhood. Your child needs to know how you feel and that you care.
• Develop open, honest communication with your child. Talk about a variety of events and concerns. A child who knows you will listen will be more willing to share things that are troubling, especially if he or she is being bullied.
• Teach by example. Settle disagreements with positive words, not put-downs or threats. Foster respect for differences and make it okay for children to agree to disagree. Admit your own prejudices and avoid jokes and other expressions that stereotype or ridicule people.
• Take action when either children or adults show prejudice, instead of ignoring it or indicating approval in any way. Let young people see you act on your unbiased beliefs.
• Openly acknowledge not only that each person is a unique individual, but also that he or she is a member of a group, and that there is good and bad in every group.
• Help young people to think through how to handle possible problems - peer pressure, finding or seeing suspicious things, intervening in a bullying situation, etc. - before there's a need.
• Use common courtesy. It helps ease tensions that can lead to violence. Teach children that good manners are important.
Making it Better - CMS
Please visit Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools’ Making it Better website. Our goal: To unite students, teachers, parents and community leaders to work together to create a culture in each and every school that promotes acceptance, achievement and accomplishment.
To take action in your classroom, home or community group, click on the boxes below. You’ll find Making it Better video and print resources about today’s challenges – from bullying prevention to building resilience and character. All can support positive changes in school climate. http://makingitbetter-cms.tv/ Please use the word: ENGAGE (all caps) for the organizational code.
In many CMS Elementary Schools, the school counselor serves as the Bullying Prevention Committee Chair. Working with the committee, the elementary school counselor helps develop a comprehensive school-wide program to address bullying. According to CMS policy, every school must develop initiatives to help educate students, staff, and parents about bullying in order to help prevent bullying and keep our students safe. All students in grades Pre-kindergarten through 5th will receive classroom lessons focused on identifying, preventing, & responding to bullying and building good character qualities. Additionally, students receive information and education in bullying prevention during Bullying Prevention Month in October as well as participate in Random Acts of Kindness Week in February. In order to reinforce what we are modeling & teaching here at school, we need your help! Here is some information about bullying & resources to assist you.
In addition, you may also sign up for the Bullying Prevention classes through Parent University. Workshops are open to all CMS parents. If you'd like information on how to sign up, please fee free to contact the school or the Parent University department.
What is Bullying?
Three Types of Bullying We Learn About in Elementary School & Examples:
Kids often learn what behavior is acceptable by observing adults. It is important for all of us to think about the message our kids are getting when we engage in one of the above bullying behaviors ourselves, make excuses when our kids bully ("Another student must have said/done something first"), or chose to ignore what we witness or hear about bullying. When kids bully or observe others bullying, this is the perfect time for us to intervene & use this negative action to teach a positive life lesson & skill. We can also help by modeling positive, kind behavior such as sticking up for people who are being bullied & showing respect, compassion, and empathy towards others.
Children are learning to choose a safe way to help a student who is being bullied. Here are just a few of the choices they are learning:
As a parent, what can you do?
If you suspect that your child has been bullied or is a bully, please do not hesitate to contact me for suggestions on handling the issue. If your child is being bullied, contact their teacher first, then an administrator or myself if it does not get resolved. The important thing to remember is that bullying IS an important topic that can have significant negative impacts on students. It IS NOT, "kids being kids".
Additional resources:
Blendspace Bullying Lesson