Gadd opens all bathrooms

By Anna Pociu, 2023

Published 4/1/2022

This morning, Dr. Gadd has made a historic decision to open all CHS bathrooms at the same time. In her important message to the student body, Gadd explained, “we hope this change in policy will leave the school community feeling warm and well as we enter the new quarter.”

This unprecedented move has shocked the entire student body. One anonymous student exclaimed, “This is absolutely insane! I’m so excited to spend less than 20 minutes wandering the halls looking for a bathroom during class time. Maybe I’ll actually learn something in class now.”

While most students are beyond thrilled with this change, some are still holding onto the past. A student, who wished to remain anonymous, told the Rampage, “sometimes I still wander the halls and pretend that all the bathrooms are locked. It really gives me a sense of nostalgia for the good old days and makes me feel less empty inside”. Quite a few students share their sentiments. Another explained, “running around trying to find an open bathroom and then not finding one and losing class time is one of the defining features of Cheshire High School. To be honest, I’m worried about the identity of the school suffering from this. What will define us if we have convenient access to bathrooms at all times?”

This morning as the bathrooms were unlocked, crowds of students were seen silently watching in shock, unsure of what this meant for them. A few had even brought the wonderfully absorbent school tissues with them and were crying tears of joy. This is truly a historic moment for CHS.