Restorative Practice at home

Restorative Practice at Home

Restorative Practice is a system of formal and informal processes that build and sustain a culture of kindness, respect, responsiblity and justice. This is achieved by emphasizing the importance of trusting relationships as central to building community and repairing relationships when harm has occured.

Restorative Practice promotes inclusiveness, relationship-building and problem-solving through such restorative methods as circles for teaching and conflict resolution to conferences that bring victims, offenders and their supporters together to address wrongdoing. Instead of punishment, students are encouraged to reflect on and take responsibility for their actions and come up with plans to repair harm.

Restorative Practice and Restorative Justice are different. Restorative Justice brings persons harmed by misbehavior and the person who harmed them together in dialogue that aims to build understanding, explore how the actions has impacted those involved and develop agreements for what will be done to make things right. This allows students an opportunity for social and emotional learning and an opportunity to learn from their mistakes. Restorative practices in schools are based on restorative justice principles instead of punishment.

Restorative Practice and Restorative Justice can successfully be implemented at home. It is suggested to have regular family meetings so that the parents and children can check in with each other and be proactive in identifying problems or issues before they get out of control. A Restorative Practice circle is a great tool for meaningful conversations as a family. A family member can decide on a topic and every family member gets a turn to share their response without interruption. A talking piece is an item that is passed around and only the person holding it can speak. The talking piece can be any item you have around the house. Family meetings can be held in a circle format or can be held at anytime throughout the day, including during meals, car rides, during bedtime or morning routines.

Examples of Questions to use in Family Circles:

• Name one thing you learned at school today.

• What is one thing you miss doing?

• If you could be any superhero, who would it be? Why?

• If you could have one wish come true, what would it be? Why?

• If you could go anywhere where would you go?

• If you could have anything for lunch what would you want?

• If you could have one super power, what would it be and why?

• If you could play any sport what it be and why?

References: Source- Restorative Resources: Restorative Practices & Discipline Parent Handbook and questions adapted from https://www.responsiveclassroom.org/keeping-morning-meeting-greetings-fresh-and-fun/

When your child makes a poor choice at home, using Restorative Justice gives the child an opportunity to do something positive to make the wrong right. This will give the child an opportunity to learn from the mistake making it less likely to happen again. When your child makes a poor choice, give yourself some time to process what happened instead of reacting to it immediatly. When a family member is upset or overwhelmed, it can be very hard to listen and respond appropriately. Telling your child that you need some time to process this and set up a time to meet instead of reacting emotionally to the child's behavior gives parents time to respond appropriately.

Below are questions that can be used to help family members calm down and get ready to figure out how to move forward.

Using reflective questions and conversations when harm is done helps a child:

• See the behavior from both perspectives;

• Understand how it impacts others;

• Take responsibility for his/her part; and

• Figure out a plan to fix it.

When you are ready to talk, each person should have a chance to speak. A good place to start is using these Restorative Practice questions:

1. What happened?

2. What were you thinking/feeling at the time?

3. What have you thought about since it happened?

4. Who has been affected?

5. What do you think needs to be done to make it right?

It may not be necessary to ask all of these questions all the time. The purpose of this is to find out what it was like for each person, and finding out what each person needs to feel better.

Repairing harm is more than a consequence.

Repair should:

• Help a child feel reconnected to the family and/or community;

• Be directly connected to the harm; and

• Support learning and skill building.

Examples of meaningful repair:

• Increased responsibility (i.e. set the table each night for a week)

• Mending/building relationships (i.e. spend time together)

• Commitment to closing a knowledge gap, and possibly sharing with other (i.e. If you caught your child vaping, have them research the impact of vaping and share this information with you or someone else.)

• Commitment to closing a skill gap (i.e. make a list of three calming techniques the child can use the next time he/she is in a similar situation)

• Developing an action and accountability plan (i.e. create a plan on when schoolwork or chores will be done)

• Affirmations and Appreciations (i.e. write notes listing things he/she appreciates about family members)

• An action that helps "redefine" the child's reputation/role in the family (i.e. If the child often causes the family to be late for school, have the child take on a responsibility in the morning to help everyone get out of the house on time, such as making lunches.)

Resource: Source- https://www.jeffcopublicschools.org/programs/student_engagement/restorative_practices_at_home