When activities/bathrooms/sports teams/other things are gendered, it can lead to an awkward, uncomfortable, and potentially unsafe feeling for kids under the transgender spectrum, even when there is a non-binary option involved.

Gendered bathrooms cause stress because kids have to decide between genders just to go to the bathroom.

Even though many kids want to choose the bathroom that they identify with, this can be hard when they are worried about facing judgment from their peers. They feel awkward as though they don't belong even though the bathroom in question matches their identity. Many kids choose to go to the bathroom of their gender assigned at birth which can be demoralizing. Even with an all-gender option, it can make kids feel as though they must out themselves just to use the bathroom. Normally, all-gender bathrooms are single-stall, which means its less available to many people, and kids who don't necessarily need it to feel comfortable, use it (which they should be allowed to do, but then maybe supply more bathrooms because the kids who need it can't get access).

Gendered sports are difficult for transgender youth because they make them feel unseen, and invalidated. People who support gendered sports argue that there are biological differences between people assigned male at birth and people assigned female at birth. While this is true, gendered sports cause a huge challenge to people who either don't know their gender or don't want to be misgendered. There are students who wanted to do certain sports, but either hesitated or chose something else because that sport was gendered. Gendered uniforms for sports (like skirts for tennis), also contribute to this.

Gendered clothing can also be very difficult. Not only does this impose gender stereotypes on children at a young age, but it makes it difficult for transgender youth to find clothing that matches their gender identity and their body type. I (Lila) remember taking a trip to Cradles to Crayons, and all of the clothing was either hyper-feminine or hyper-masculine, and this means that kids who don't want either of those kinds of clothes cannot have access to them.

Overall, things like bathrooms, sports, or clothing are challenges for genderqueer kids and many people overlook them. Many people minimize these challenges without fully understanding how difficult they can be. This minimization can make these kids feel alone and unsupported. Remember to support people when they discuss how these challenges frustrate them.

Fortunately, many of these laws are a thing of the past. Some of these laws died out when gay marriage became legal. Before then, it was impossible for people of the same gender identity to marry. There have also been "bathroom bills" in which states force students to use the bathroom that corresponds with their gender assigned at birth. This brutally ignores the gender identity of students and harms their mental health, productivity in school, and feeling of inclusion.

Recently, Florida sent out a transphobic and homophobic law that many LGBTQIAP+ activists have been upset about. This source has more information:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-60576847

Heteronormalcy is the idea that being straight is normal. If you saw two guys eating out together, or two girls holding hands, you might assume they were friends or coworkers. But if you saw a man and a woman doing these things, you might immediately assume they are in a relationship. This is a perfect example of heteronormalcy.

Being gay is not the norm in our society. Many times queer people will try to force themselves into straight relationships to seem "normal". This is one example of how heteronormalcy affects queer people in a negative way.

Another example of heteronormalcy is the lack of queer relationships in TV and books. Normally when they have a queer relationship, the fact that it is queer takes over the relationship and the only narrative is that the relationship is queer. This is harmful as well because it would be great to have characters in a queer relationship that face challenges that aren't due to their identity.

So, what is outing someone? Outing someone means telling someone about another person's identity before the person tells that other person. This can be harmful because the queer person in the situation may not have wanted the person you told to know that they were LGBTQIAP+. This could also make the person you told mistreat the queer person. Remember, sexuality and gender can be very personal things, and if someone is telling you their identity they are trusting you with that information.

Scar, Ursula, and Jafar. What do these characters have in common? Not only are they all Disney villains, but they are also all very queer coded. Queer coding is when a character is not identified as queer, but you can easily infer that a character is queer. This can be used negatively, positively, or neutral, though most of the time, queer coding is used in a negative light.

So let's quickly go back to some of the villains I mentioned earlier, specifically Ursula. Ursula is a prime example of queer coding because she is based on a drag queen. We can see this in her character design (specifically the style of makeup). Since drag makeup is a part of the communities' culture, it paints queer people as villains. Disney has done this with many of the villains, in sometimes very obvious ways. This can be detrimental to the LGBTQIAP+ community.

There are many other examples where important aspects of the LGBTQIAP+ community are stylized in an insulting way or when unfair stereotypes are used.

Queer baiting (which is very similar to queer coding) is when a show will code a character as gay to draw in LGBTQIA+ viewers. The key part of this definition is that fact they code the character as gay to draw in the queer community. This can make the community have a false sense of representation in media. With the lack of queer representation, it is always better to have a queer character than allude to the fact that they might be queer.

Another type of Queer baiting is when social media influencers hint that they are gay in order to draw in clicks and followers. This action is upsetting because it can be harmful to queer viewers who might be really excited that their favorite influencer is like them.