Embedded Files
Self Identity
Journaling provided a space for self-discovery and self-expression, crucial for individuals navigating identities outside heteronormativity. These journals chronicle students exploring their identities and defining themselves within – and sometimes at odds with – a broader LGBTQ community. Their writings cover aesthetics, stereotypes, being closeted, religious and family dynamics, and intersections of race and queerness.
Image of "Self Identity" Section Label Part 1
Rebecca and Annette Journal Entries - Lesbian Stereotypes
"Lesbian Stereotypes and Long Hair"
"Lesbian Stereotypes and Long Hair"
Rebecca Hensler
Journal 2
c. 1987
Transcription:
Top: “Oh I might as well – fuck”
Ed Webb
Long hair taped to page
Underneath the hair: When I go butch this long strand of hair will remain as a memorial to my days as a lipstick lesbian
lets start an argument on this issue! What the fuck is a lipstick lesbian anyway? What’s the deal with lesbian stereotypes: butch, femme, diesel (sp?) dyke, granola, feminist, man-hater etc.??? And what if you just don’t fit in to any of them? I can’t even manage to be a normal abnormal. Im a ditzy, pseudo-arty, politically active, make-up wearing, non p.c. bisexual chick – can you come up with a shorter name for all this? Or do I even care? Probably not so dont bother! TTFN!
Bxi
"What's the Deal with Lesbian Stereotypes?"
"What's the Deal with Lesbian Stereotypes?"
Annette Huddle
Journal 2
c. 1987
Transcription:
What’s the deal w/ lesbian stereotypes. Well, the deal is that most lesbians have not yet really learned (and I do not except myself from this) that we all come to an awareness and an acceptance of our sexuality in different ways, along different paths, from different backgrounds. And we tend to assume that the way we came is the only way, or the only real way, valid way, whatever, and that the way we choose to be is also the only real, valid way. The stereotypes arise because many of us have come along a similar way, a way which is one of many. Some of us come from being hardcore tomboys, aware of our sexuality at age 11. Some of us come to our sexuality through growing political awareness, and the womens movement. Some of us just sort of come into it by suddenly falling in love. Some of us have completely different stories to tell. So, Rebecca, you came your way, you are your person, the rest of the world has the problem not you (but you probably already knew that.) Oh well, enough of this. Why is there plastic on our window? Plastic you can’t even see through??
Annette
Oral History Quotes
I came to Brown with this mane of copper hair and I was so known for it. Then at some point, I cut it all off. You know, I was playing with gender. (....) I was very aware that when I came to Brown, there were some butch lesbians with short hair, and then there were kind of – not lipstick lesbians, but, like, long haired more hippie lesbians. Those were the two lesbian tropes that were visible. And then there was me, and I was very much– there's that whole entry about me being a lipstick lesbian, and I mean, I definitely identify with that. And I tell the kids now, when I'm trying to teach them the history, that there was a time when either identifying as butch or femme was very common, and that's never been part of who I am. I've loved to go back and forth, and chop off all my hair and put on a suit, but also, long hair and makeup and glamour.
- Rebecca Hensler reflecting on adding a strand of her hair to the journal
[On keeping a journal as a record] It was this idea, you're writing something down that is going to be read by other people and you don't know who. And yet, I felt like it mattered. It mattered to write stuff down. And I think from early on, I've had this sense of history mattering. And if we don't write it down [what happens?] My mom was actually studying medieval German literature with a focus on day to day life, and she would always say, “You know, no one ever wrote down what were the things that were happening in the town with the women every day and so forth. That wasn't valued.” And so I always thought, having some way to just show people what’s going on, it's important, you know? So I think even then I had a sense- I didn't know what would ever become of these journals, but I just thought it was important to keep track of this stuff. I couldn't have known it like I know it now, but it's amazing how much you forget. And if it's written down, then there's a lot that comes back to life. I mean, really. When you first said, “We have writings from you in the journal” and I went, “What?” That was my first reaction, but then as I went through it, I thought, “Oh, yeah, actually, I do remember that.”
- Annette Huddle speaking to the importance of the journal as historical record keeping
Image of "Self Identity" Section Label Part 2
Geri Journal Entry - "Kiss In Reflections"
Kiss In Reflections
Kiss In Reflections
Geri
Journal 6
c. 1990
Transcription:
Nothing is wrong with kissing for political reasons, having sex w/o love, doing something that counters your personal ideals b/c you need something else, getting paid for sex, or any of the other things definable as “prostitution.” Please re-read my two previous entries, because if you think they are a flame against prostitution in any form then you have missed my point. My point is basically that my self-esteem gets sorely bruised when the same people who will (with my consent) use my female bisexual presence for political statements won’t be there for me or interested in me once the spotlights are off, and that I can’t attend kiss-ins even though I would like to because I’ll leave them feeling more disjointed, unsupported & out-of-place than empowered. Kiss-ins are a great idea for those who can, but I’d like everyone here to understand why personally I can’t, until lI feel more like a member of this community socially & not just politically. IT HURTS. Get it?
Geri
Oral History Quotes
The AIDS crisis was raging, so a lot of people were members of Queer Nation and Act Up, which was great, and you kind of had to adjust to the part. You were going to shout a lot, right? So there was a lot of that, there was an edge. Again, I both had this wonderful dichotomy of feeling like, “Wow, this is a wonderful energy, this is great.” And, “I’m socially awkward, I’m a nerd, I don’t fit in,” And when I say I don’t fit in, that was in my mind. Nobody was excluding me. Nobody was doing anything to say, “You don’t belong.” But it was just this sense of, “How do I connect to this energy?” (...) It's sort of slightly sweet and slightly cringy to read that. It's just like, “Oh, I said that out loud. Okay, great.” You know, I sort of look back with compassion, in those entries. [Being] nineteen is all about, “Where do I fit in?” Certainly nobody owed me that, and yet there was a sense that there's something about this that I'm not finding myself in. And finding myself, that is where the internet came in great, because bunches of us from Brown, MIT, RPI [Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute], etc., would get together in different places. And that’s where I found a lot more of my deep friendships, romantic connections, places to play.
-Geri reflecting on her entry about the Kiss In event
You know, you could still be fired for being gay. Gay bashing was very real in Providence, and wasn't really followed up on by police, or anyone. Often it was the police that were perpetrating it. So gay people kissing in public was not something that you would really ever see. It normally wouldn't be a safe thing to do.
-Marc Cohen speaking about the Kiss In event and atmosphere towards gay people in the larger Providence area
Page updated
Report abuse