Dealing with Sexism

Description

In the winter term of 2011, I experienced sexism. A so-called friend of mine had been putting me down for being female since the Fall 2010 term, even after multiple occasions of discussing how inappropriate that was. In the Winter 2011 term, in my own room, I was told that he would put me in my place one day. This was something that was not acceptable, in or out of my room, so I took action. After discussing the situation with my resident advisor, the decision was made to bring the incidents to the attention of the associate director of the Michigan Research Community (MRC). She decided that it was a large enough issue, especially because of my friends' less than supportive reactions, to take it up with the hall director. The hall director and associate director of MRC both met with my “friend” and discussed his actions and how they have affected the community.

Importance

This is important because sexism still exists in this world. There are men and women out there who still believe that men and women are not equal. But this is not an idea that should prevail in society. No one is better than anyone else because of their sex. This is why I had to report the reoccurring incidents, even though my friends disagreed with that decision.

The decision was not an easy one; the MRC is a well knit gro

up of college students who are bounded by the experience that is research. We also live together in a co-ed building, in co-ed halls. Thus, it was even more important for me to discuss because this was not only affecting me. This was a male who promoted sexism by his actions in a co-ed residence. Women have been fighting for their rights for a long time, and have been fighting to make their own way just as long. One of the most important reasons why this needed to be addressed is that research is a male dominated career. It is hard enough for women to join the field- we don’t need to be dealing with sexism at home too.

Skills Gained

· Ability to discuss social justice issues with superiors

· Express one’s feelings appropriately

Lessons Learned

I have learned a lot through this experience. Most importantly, I have learned to stick with my convictions. My decision to confront him throughout the year was not a hard one. In life, I have generally been open and honest about things that bother me and why. What was difficult was to admit that I needed outside help. Doing this meant that there was a serious problem. It took me a while to get to a point where I accepted that this was a serious problem, a point that my roommate helped me to reach and understand.

Talking to my resident advisor, who is male, about my experience was odd because I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know how to express to a male exactly what was going on in a way that he would see it from my viewpoint. I was afraid that he would think I was being emotional and simply over-reacting. What was relieving was how he accepted what I had to say and that he agreed that something needed to change. He asked what I thought the next best move would be, but I hadn’t thought that far. I knew that I wanted to immediate situation addressed, but I wasn’t thinking about the community.

The community had a different reaction to the news. Many of my friends thought that I was blowing things out of proportion. On one hand, I wanted to explain to everyone what had been going on and what was being done. On the other hand, I didn’t want to ruin my “friend’s” life anymore than it already had been. As such, most people did not know the extent that the sexism had achieved. I stood my ground and expressed as best I could what was happening.

Due to this reaction, I agreed with my resident advisor that it would be

best taken to the associate director. A challenge was that while this was not something I was going to back down from, I was still living in a community with my “friend.” I saw him everyday. This was not an experience that came and went by without changing my day-to-day life. By talking to the associate director, I was, according to the community, “getting him in trouble.” In a community of peers, a reputation such as that can ruin friendships. However, through this step, I have learned that, at times, it is necessary to bring issues, especially those related to social justice, to those who have power over the situation. For those people to listen to me, however, I had to be clear in my presentation of the situation.

This experience may not have been easy or short, but it was worthwhile.

Impact

As much as I would like to say that I won’t have to deal with a similar situation in the future, that is unrealistic. Serious issues arise within communities, particularly those dealing with social justice. In future situations, I won’t be as afraid that I am making the “wrong” decision. I still plan to address the issue with the person or people it concerns before informing higher authorities. I have faith in people, and sometimes having it pointed out is all that needs to happen. On the other hand, I won’t wait as long so that I am not suffering through something unnecessary. My superiors worked to change the situation once they knew of its existence. I have learned to express myself clearly to them about difficult issues, even if it did take me a couple tries.

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