Problems of the Exhorter

Exhorters tend to have a "mouth problem." Since God has made them the mouth of the Body of Christ they use it a lot, either for good—encouraging others—or in negative ways as we will examine now.

Consider your scoring prayerfully to see if there are areas in which you need some growth. None of us has arrived. Even Paul, in the later years of his ministry, realized that he needed to "press on to the goal of the high calling in Jesus Christ."

1. Tends to interrupt others in eagerness to give opinions or advice.

Exhorters have much to say.-And, normally, that is not a problem. But when there is an ongoing interchange of conversation, or any kind of structured meeting going on, the exhorter's tendency to interrupt can be a source of frustration for the others. When I was serving on a Christian board there was one member, an exhorter, who was known for her excellent ability to build up people. But in the board meetings she was also known for interrupting.

One day I had tried a number of times to say something but she had repeatedly interrupted me. My frustration level rose. "You've interrupted me five times," I burst out at last. "Please let me finish what I'm saying."

"I haven't interrupted you." she protested.

"Yes, you have," I insisted.

"You're kidding," she said with a look on her face that made me realize that she didn't realize how often she jumped in to speak before others were finished.

"You do interrupt a lot," another member confirmed.

"I don't believe it," she replied. "I'll tell you what," she said to me. "Next time I interrupt anyone, poke me in the side. If I'm doing it I really want to know."

"Okay," I said, hoping her ribs could take it.

During the remaining four hours of the board meeting I poked her fifteen times.

"I'm amazed," she said, still shocked at the revelation. "I had no idea I was interrupting that much. I really want to overcome that habit."

She made excellent progress once she recognized the problem.

2. Will use Scriptures out of context in order to make a point.

The exhorter believes it is the point he is making that is important. In his mind verifying it with Scripture is secondary. Of those who hear the exhorter, many will not bother to check out the proof text. Not so the teachers and the perceivers. They'll check it out and if the Scripture has been used out of context they may reject the point, or even the one who made the point. They may even try to correct the exhorter.

Exhorters are adaptable. So, if their error is pointed out to them they'll say, "Okay, if that Scripture doesn't fit I'll find another one that does."

Exhorters usually have a good sense of humor, too. We'd like to share some of their on-purpose out-of-context antics:

An exhorter who started a Christian diet class used as her motto: "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30, Kjv). An exhorter Christian dentist tells his patients that his favorite Scripture is, "Open wide your mouth and I will fill it" (Psalm 81:10b, Niv).

An exhorter mom painted the following Scripture in giant letters across one wall of a church nursery in Seattle: "We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed" (1 Corinthians 15:51, Kjv).

3. May be "cut-and-dried" in prescribing steps of action.

Because those with the motivational gift of exhortation are so good at giving advice they can easily fall into the trap of giving "pat" answers. They may counsel three people in a row with the same basic problem and, afterprayer, prescribe the same steps of action. The people are helped. Then along comes the fourth person. Same problem. This time the exhorter doesn't bother to pray about what advice to give since the same counsel worked for the previous three cases. But this time it is not what the Holy Spirit wanted administered. The advice is ineffective.

It is very important for the exhorter to consistently rely on the Holy Spirit—the Counselor—for wisdom and guidance in giving advice. Otherwise he can develop a cocky I-know-what-to-do-in-every-situation mentality.

4. Is outspokenly opinionated.

An exhorter is always glad to tell you what he thinks. He is not as rigidly opinionated as the perceiver or the teacher, but on matters of life application he has strong opinions. That, coupled with the well-oiled jaw, makes his opinions spill out readily.

He can also be gossipy, bossy, over talkative, and feisty. Actually, as one exhorter put it,

"My mouth often runs ahead of my mind." Peggy tells about taking care of her ten-year-old exhorter granddaughter for a week.

"Things went pretty well the first couple of days," she recalls. "I enjoyed Margaret's chattering. But by the third day I was wishing she didn't talk so much. The fourth day I thought, Does this child do anything but exercise her mouth. On the fifth day, after hearing her go on and on, I blurted out, 'Stop, Margaret! Stop talking! I can't stand to hear another word.'

"Poor child. She looked so bewildered. Her reply brought me up short, I can tell you. Made me realize that she's very appropriately my namesake:

"'But Grandma,' she objected, 'you talk a lot too!' "

The exhorter's bossiness stems from the desire to give advice. Exhorters rather enjoy telling others what to do. Someone once said, "Don't answer questions that haven't been asked and don't give advice that hasn't been asked for." The exhorter could benefit from that wisdom.

Perhaps the most effective prayer for the overly talkative exhorter would be, "Lord, put a guard over my mouth." Jesus warns that we are responsible for every idle word that we speak.

5. Can become overly self-confident.

In today's world self-confidence is a sought-after quality. But like the foolish man who built his house upon the sand it makes a bad foundation. Our basic confidence must be in the Lord. Then, with sober appreciation for the gifts and abilities He has given to us, we can begin to build godly self-confidence.

Joleen confessed to us that she was once an over-confident exhorter. "I figured I had an answer for just about everything," she confided. "I passed out advice like some doctors pass out pills. There were no problems, just challenges.

"It was crushed when I began to see the results of some of my medding. Sometimes my advice was completely wrong for the person, or got in the way of God's dealing with him. God really humbled me and helped me to build my confidence in Him."

She acknowledged that the battle wasn't over - that there was still a struggle with a know-it-all attitude. But she was grateful that she had learned to recognize it and deal with it appropriately.