Middle school coincides with puberty, a time of incredible physical, cognitive and social/emotional development.  Students between the ages of 11 and 14 are usually more physically mature than they are emotionally mature. They are trying to figure out who they are as an individual at the very time that they are also more influenced by peers. Between 6th and 8th grade, students start relying less on adults to solve their problems and begin developing their own approaches.

School counselors are but one support available to students during this time. Along with parents and teachers, school counselors help students develop the skills that the need to navigate the physical, cognitive, and social landscape of adolescence.

In my efforts to support students during their middle school years, I frequently meet with students individually. Our conversations range from stress management to peer conflict to study skills.  These conversations are not a replacement for therapy, as I am not a qualified therapist. If a student appears to have ongoing mental health issues that require more intensive help than I can offer, I contact parents and offer suggestions for next steps.

Group counseling is another venue for teaching students the skills they need. Small groups of students with a common concern get together once a week or so for six to eight weeks. These sessions focus on skill building rather than disclosure of personal information. The topics include regulating strong emotions like anger or anxiety, learning social skills, or improving study skills.

Teachers are generous about inviting the counselors into their classrooms for occasional whole-class social emotional lessons. Depending on the grade of the students, we might focus on the transition to middle school, how to be a good school citizen, conflict resolution, or college and career development.

Some good resources for learning more about the social/emotional needs of middle school students include:

• Understood.org: Developmental Milestones for Typical Middle Schoolers  

• Book: Planet Middle School: Helping Your Child Through Peer Pressure, Awkward Moments and Emotional Drama by Kevin Leman. (2015) 

• Book: Middle School Matters: The 10 Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond -- and How Parents Can Help by Phyllis L. Fagell. (2019)

• Six Ways to Help Your Child Thrive Socially in Middle School 

• 8 Things I Know for Sure about Middle Schoolers --  The Cult of Pedagogy

• Psychology Today article on Emotional Intelligence in Children

• video: "Just Breathe" a video about mindfulness

• QuietKit: Guided Meditations for Beginners

• Click to link to my mindfulness Bitmoji room with resources for attention, focus, and calm

• An excellent 24 minute podcast on child anxiety Life Kit: How to Help a Child Struggling with Anxiety