As I heard our grocery carts clash together, I knew that I was in for the battle of my life. The animalistic stranger, wielding their grocery cart as if it were a weapon to obliterate weaker shoppers, was a woman who just had to be nearing her 60s. This woman was the obstacle that stood between me and that magnificently price ultra HD television, whose price had dropped down by a phenomenal seventy percent just for tonight. My Black Friday shopping had been perfect so far- I already bought enough small appliances to run a goddamned five star restaurant with for the price of a chicken sandwich, and I was not going to let this Probation-era fossilized monster step in my way just as I was about to end the night. I revved up my grocery cart and jammed it directly into hers, shaking all of those oh so fragile electronics in her cart. Tonight one woman will experience a warrior's death within the war of Black Friday