You Can't Keep a Good Man Down

And now for a little silliness, originally posted on my Tumblr, Lucky Ladybug's Lovelies.

Some time ago, I realized that Charlie’s introduction song from All Dogs Go to Heaven would fit my headcanon of Snakes during the time he was a riverboat gambler. I tinkered with the song, rewriting a few lines, and made it to be about Snakes.

I think the most amusing thing is how few lines I really had to change. I’ll put an asterisk by those. Except, so I don't have to asterisk every usage of the title, just remember that the original song says "dog" instead of "man".

The original song was sung by two characters, Charlie and Itchy, with a chorus. Since Snakes didn’t have any friends at that time, he sings it alone, with a chorus of saloon girls and other gamblers. Any chorus lines will be in parentheses.

* “Why settle for a couple of G’s when you can have the whole bank?”

* Oh you can’t keep a good man down

No, you can’t keep a good man down

I’ve seen pain and hurt, I’ve eaten dirt (That’s true)

It’s hard to buy, but even I have been jilted by a skirt (No, really?)

But look out, I’m still around

Cause you can’t keep a good man down

Ya can’t keep a good man down

No no no no, you can’t keep a good man down

I’ve been bought and sold

I’ve been warm and cold

But ten to one I’ll still be runnin’ rackets when I’m old

* Not in some cage or in the ground

Cause you can’t keep a good man

Can’t keep a good, I say you can’t keep a good man down

In me is the luck of the Irish

The pride of the German

* And of course, the class of the South

* You’ll see the calm of the English

* The charm of … any gentleman (conman!)

* The best of it all, rolled up in one

* So call me a low-down crook

* But bring some whiskey to fill this cup;

* The only way this crook knows is up!

(Ya can’t keep a good man down

Ya can’t keep a good man down)

* My wallet’s been fat and thin

I’ve been out and in

I’ve tried a life of virtue

But prefer a life of sin!

(So tonight when we own this town …)

I’ve known hunger, I’ve known thirst

Lived the best and seen the worst

But the only way I know to finish best to finish first

* So watch out when ol’ Snakes is in town

Cause you can’t keep a good man, no ya

Can’t keep a good, I say you can’t keep a good man down

You can’t keep a good man down