Lost In Yesterday

As Doris calls out after her Mother she sees the big red doors of the School entrance close and she realises that her Mother didn’t hear her. Doris crosses the street, almost falling over on the snow as she rushes past Leroy. Puzzled he turns and watches as the older woman hurries to the school entrance.

Looking up at the School of the Arts sign over the entrance Doris, hesitates for a moment not sure she wants to go back into the school again and not exactly sure what she will find. However, the chance of seeing her Mother again, to say that she is sorry for the fight and to tell her she loves her so very much, is too great for Doris to resist. She pulls the door open and heads inside, up the steps back into the lobby.

The lobby is a hive of activity and Doris’ heart sinks as she realises that she has moved in time again. On the night of the “Blizzard” only a few students and teachers were taking refuge at the school but now there are lots of people rushing around, many of which she doesn’t recognise. Her Mother however, is nowhere in sight.

At that moment Doris hears Mrs Bergs familiar voice and sees Mr Morloch approaching behind her.

Mrs Berg: “Students, students, May I have your attention please. Everyone has to

have a registration card. Fill them out in alphabetical order, Well, no, just

fill them out, that will do for now. You audition in alphabetical order, that’s

what it is. Or numerical! One or the other, numbers or letters, whatever.”

Doris fears she will be caught, so quickly heads toward the auditorium doors hoping not to be seen. Just as she goes through the doors she hears someone call out:

“Hey Schwartz!”

Doris looks back into the lobby and sees her teenage self being greeted by Coco, Danny and Leroy. She breathes a sigh of relief that they weren’t calling her and hurries off into the auditorium. Mrs Berg suddenly feels cold and looks around for anything strange. she can't see anything but notices the auditorium door closing and becomes concerned.

Inside the auditorium Doris slumps into the nearest seat hoping no one will notice her.

She strokes back her hair with the palm of her hand and lets out a big yawn. She feels tired and emotionally drained. She has no idea how much time has passed since she first found herself sat in this very auditorium watching Julie’s audition but all this moving in time and trying to comprehend what is happening, as well as reminders of her emotional scars from the past is taking it’s toll. Doris feels lost, she feels like she just wants to go to sleep but at the same time is scared that at any moment she’ll be discovered and have to try and explain what’s happened to her. Which as she doesn’t understand what is happening herself, could prove difficult to do. Besides who would believe that a middle aged woman has gone back in time to her High School and is moving in time to different events that took place at that school and people who have since died, are alive and well?

Doris shakes her head as the situation makes no sense and mutters to herself: “I want my Mom.”

Suddenly the door to the auditorium opens and Doris turns to look who it is and is relieved that it's no one she recognises. She gives a loud sigh and then looks around hoping that no one noticed her. Doris sees that on the auditorium stage a group of teenagers are warming up. She doesn’t recognise most of them but does see Chris and realises he must be getting ready to audition.

Her thoughts turn back to her mother and an idea comes to mind that she could phone her and speak to her that way. That would actually solve the problem of having to try and explain her curent situation. Doris becomes excited by the idea and her doubts, fears and confusion temporarily slip her mind. She looks at her cell phone but it still shows no signal. However she then remembers there’s a pay phone backstage next to the make up room. Quickly she jumps to her feet and walks towards the stage.

As she goes up the steps onto the stage Chris sees her and blocks her path.

Chris: “Are you a teacher here? ‘Cause, I was wondering how much longer you

people are going to keep us hanging around waiting. I’ve got other places to

be you know!”

Doris glares at the teenager not impressed by his attitude. She’d forgotten just how arrogant Chris could be when he first joined the school.

Doris: “Yes I’m a teacher at this school, a dance teacher! Actually I’m the head of the

department!”

Chris looks at Doris from head to toe. She’d put on a few pounds after her Mother had died, as she’d turned to food for comfort. Chris tries to stifle a laugh and hide his amusement but isn’t successful. Doris notices.

Doris “Is there a problem Mr Donlon?”

Chris is surprised and a little taken a back that the older woman knows his name.

Doris continues: “If I were you I’d drop the attitude and I’d drop it really quickly or you'll

never even get into this School! If you’ve got somewhere better to be then

go, get out of here because there are hundreds of dancers waiting for that

same place you are fighting for.”

At that moment the auditorium doors open again and Danny and Leroy enter. Doris sees them and quickly heads off backstage and down to the make up room area. Not giving Chris any time to say anything back to her. He watches her go but soon his attention is focussed on Leroy.

Doris is frustrated to see that a young girl is on the pay phone excitedly calling her family to tell them how her audition went. Doris anxiously paces around making it obvious that she is waiting to use the phone but the girl isn’t paying any attention.

Doris decides to wait in the make up room and is glad that inside it is empty. She looks around thinking of the last time she was there, which was when she graduated and didn’t want to leave the school. She smiles to herself as it seems so long ago now.

Then she notices a rack by the wall full of costumes and a box on the floor full of wigs and glasses. Doris is then struck by the idea that maybe it would be easier to move around the school if she had a disguise.

She searches through the box on the floor and pulls out a long blond wig and some glasses and moves over to the table to look in the mirror as she tries them on. Straightening the wig and putting the glasses in place she adds some make up and smiling she jokes to herself:

“Well let’s see if blondes really do have more fun!”

Doris opens the make up room door and is relieved to see the phone is now free. She walks over to it and picks up the receiver then takes a deep breath. Thankfully she finds some coins in her pocket to put into the phone and then pauses for a moment trying to remember the number. Her Father had decided to move out of the family home after her Mother had died and so she hadn't used this number in years. However it must be embedded into her brain because after a couple of moments she remembers it and starts to dial.

Doris feels nervous, her heart feels like it it’s in her mouth and as the line rings and rings, she starts to panic that there might not be any answer and the answer phone will kick in. She hates those machines and always messes up the messages. Then suddenly there is a female voice on the other end of the line and Doris recognises her mother.

Angela: “Hello!”

There is a long silence as Doris doesn’t know what to say. Tears roll down her cheeks. She’d longed for this moment and to be able to talk to her mother once again and now it was here she didn't know what to say.

Angela continues “Hello?” Is there any one there?”

Eventually Doris manages to get out one word: “Mom”

Angela Schwartz becomes concerned that something is wrong.

Angela: “Doris is that you honey? You sound a little strange is everything okay?”

Doris swallows back the tears: “Yes it’s me and I’m fine, I think it’s a bad line”

Angela feels reassured and Doris continues: “Mom, you know I love you don’t you?

Angela is slightly surprised by the question: “Of course I know. Why do you ask?”

Doris can’t keep it together any longer as years of hurt and pain pours out and she begins to sob causing more concern for her mother.

Doris: “Oh Mom, I’m so very sorry…… I love you so much……. and I never meant to

fight with you all those times….. I’ve missed you so much…. and I didn’t know

what to do….”

Angela: “Doris, what’s wrong? Where are you? Has something happening? You’re not

making any sense and it's scaring me.”

Doris takes a deep breath and stops sobbing.

Doris: “No, it’s okay, don’t worry Mom, everything is okay now, I just needed to hear

your voice. I’m sorry for upsetting you.”

Angela isn’t convinced: “Are you sure everything’s okay?”

Doris has now regained a little control again and reassures her Mother once more.

Doris “Yes I’m sure. I’m sorry for worrying you. I’ve got to go now but I love you Mom

with all my heart, please always remember that, goodbye!”

Angela still feels confused: "Bye baby."

Doris hangs up the phones and with her back against the wall she slides down to sit on the floor. With her head in her hands she starts to laugh a little trying to take in the fact that she has spoken to her mother again after 9 long hard years.

She sits there for awhile in silence not knowing what to do. She felt like she’d been on a roller-coaster which was now coming to a stop and she needed some time to adjust to the highs and lows of what she was feeling.

Suddenly a voice breaks the silence:

“Doris, Doris, can you hear me? Doris?”

Doris looks around but can’t see anyone. She stands up and checks the make up room but it's empty then goes back up the steps to the stage. The auditorium is now empty too and no one is around.

Then a shiver goes down Doris’ spine as she hears the voice calling again.

“Doris, Doris?…..”

To be continued…..