Chapter 03
Kate stopped by the window overlooking the inner yard of the school and the spot under the tree she so loved to frequent during lunch break. It was occupied. By Ethan, whom she definitely wasn't ready to face.
She sighed and leaned her elbow on the windowsill, her gaze sliding over the students in the hallway. Her eyes stopped on a tall girl with blonde curly hair, cut in a bob, who lifted her hand and waved as she spotted Kate.
Mandy looked cute and stylish in a new pink and black dress, which she had gotten from a designer friend of Ethan’s, or so Mandy said when she explained to Kate about the source of her wardrobe, which was one trend behind the fashion in Tokyo. She also offered to give Kate the clothes that were a size too small for her. Mandy was so generous. A smile curved Kate's lips, then metamorphosed into a frown when three girls circled Mandy.
Kate could detect discomfort in Mandy's features. Her fists clenched and she marched toward them. Mandy might look like an Amazon, but the girl had none of an Amazon’s character traits; if anything, she reminded Kate of a puppy. A cute, tall puppy. A puppy she needed to protect, even if that meant drawing attention to herself.
A brunet rushed past Kate and forced his way to Mandy. He wrapped his arm around Mandy’s shoulder, pressed her against his side and said something to the girls.
The girls scattered.
Kate's steps slowed down. With Tyler’s tall and strong body, which betrayed his love for sports, by her side, Mandy appeared almost fragile. And the blonde looked happy as she smiled up at him; her hand covered Tyler’s hand on her hip. The way they gazed at each other, it was like they were part of the last scene of a romantic movie, about to live happily ever after.
Mandy, her face flushed, slipped out of Tyler’s hold, grabbed his hand and pulled him with her toward Kate. “Hey, have lunch with us?”
“Some other time,” Kate said.
“You always say that,” Mandy complained.
“That's because I don't want to come between you lovebirds,” Kate told her.
“If we thought that, we wouldn't have asked you.” Tyler wrapped his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder.
Yes, she knew that. “Well, I’ll take a rain check, then.” At Mandy's questioning gaze she lied, “I have something to do in the library.”
“Tomorrow?” Tyler asked.
“Tomorrow.” Kate nodded.
“You have to promise,” Mandy demanded. “We haven't had a proper chat for a while now and I won't allow you to brush me off again.”
“Somebody has become demanding.” When had that happened? Kate smiled. It seemed that Tyler was a good influence on Mandy, and from the stupid grin he had on his face, the good influence went both ways. She hadn't seen Tyler this happy since Sandra's debacle.
“Promise me,” Mandy repeated.
“I promise, I promise,” Kate said.
“Then we’ll see you in the cafeteria.” Tyler gave a short nod and pulled Mandy with him.
“But I wanted to talk with her,” Kate heard Mandy say.
“You’ll do that tomorrow,” was Tyler's retort.
Kate watched their backs retreat down the almost empty hallway for a few short seconds, before she went to the library. She made herself comfortable at one of the desks, hidden between the bookshelves, with a window looking over the parking lot. It was her new regular place; she found herself there the day after she had lunch n the cafeteria with Tyler, Mandy, and some of Tyler's friends.
She did enjoy the company, but she was too aware of the whispers and glances cast her way to feel the occasion was worth repeating. She said as much to Mandy and Tyler, and they agreed not to insist that she join them in the cafeteria anymore, only that she start to hang out with them outside of school.
One of the reasons she had helped them to find each other was that she thought Mandy would forget about her and Tyler would stop ambushing her every time Nan, Tyler's grandmother, invited her to dinner, but they didn't want to hear of it. Was that what true friends were about? Annoying individuals meddling in your business?
True friends. Kate pressed her hand against her mouth. They cared about her, didn't they? The thought tightened her chest and made her feel warm and slightly out of breath.
The sound of footsteps approaching drew her gaze up. A wrinkle cut into her forehead when she noticed a familiar boy at the beginning of the bookshelves.
Ethan closed the distance between them, grabbed a red plastic chair from the opposite side of the desk, turned it around and straddled it. “You haven't been coming to the tree anymore.”
“I’ve been busy.” She pointed at the textbooks she’d set at the edge of the desk as an excuse in case Mandy and Tyler thought of dropping by.
Ethan put the sandwich he held in his hand on the desk and pushed it toward her.
“What's this?”
“Tuna, your favourite.”
How did he know that tuna was her favourite? Her stomach growled and, frowning, she took the food. With the way he was giving her food at every meeting, a rumbling stomach might become a conditioned response to the sight of him. But at least she wouldn’t have to go to cafeteria to buy something to eat now. “Are you trying to bribe me with food?”
“Is it working?”
“You’ll have to try harder and serve something more expensive than this.” She waved the sandwich in front of his face, then stored it in the bag on the chair beside her.
“What about a home-made lunch?”
Like he could cook. “And what would you want for it?”
“An hour of your time.”
And what would he want with her? “Too busy, I'm afraid.”
“I see.” He hugged the back of the chair and leaned his chin on his laced hands. “How is it going with your spirit-seeing?”
They had become a permanent presence now, small specks of colours dotting the edges of her vision, absent only when she closed herself in the wardrobe. And it was all his fault. And who knew what else he could do to her? “Fine.” With a sweep of her arm across the small desk, she pushed the textbooks into her bag.
“So, you’re busy, huh?”
“I already said so.” She rose up.
“Too busy to learn how to control your power?”
“Like that's even possible?”
“Of course it is.”
Her brows arched. “Yeah, right.”
“I can teach you.”
“And why would you do that?”
“Because I'm such a nice guy.” He grinned at her.
She narrowed her eyes at him.
“I told you before, I need you.”
“What for?”
He patted the desk. “Sit.”
She crossed her arms.
“Sit and I'll tell you.”
“You can tell me while I stand.”
“Is looking down on me so important to you?”
“Is looking up at me bothering you?”
“Actually it does. I get a cramp in my neck quite easily.” He flashed a row of white teeth. “Sit.”
She rolled her eyes and slumped onto the chair. “There, happy now?”
“Much better, yes.” Ethan leaned his elbows on the desk.
“Well.” She mirrored his pose.
“Well, what?”
She frowned at his smiling face. He was doing that on purpose. “Is wasting my time and annoying me so much fun?”
“Actually, it is.” He had the audacity to give her a smirk.
“Just tell me how to get rid of them.”
“Technically you wouldn't get rid of them, though you could -- that is, as soon as you are able to materialize your scythe.”
Not that again. She rolled her eyes.
“I'm not kidding,” he said. “Right now your spirit energy is all over the place. It's like you are wearing a big flashing neon sign: ‘Soul Reaper here.’ You have to focus and concentrate that energy into one point, and since you are a Reaper, doing that should materialize a scythe.”
“And that would help me how?”
“If -- When you produce the scythe for the first time, it will tie your spirit energy to it, and your energy will start to flow and gather in the scythe instead of gushing out of you. It's like putting a faucet on a cloud.”
“A cloud?”
“Yes, a cloud. Of course, we can't do that, but if we could, we would have direct access to the water, wouldn't we?”
Her brows rose up.
“It's all about focus and control. It makes sense, you just don't understand. Yet.”
“A cloud with a faucet?” Kate couldn't help but repeat.
“It's just an example,” he said. “If you think that you can find a better example, please, share.”
“Whatever.” She leaned forward and her braid of black hair slid from her back to her shoulder. “You still haven't told me how that would help me.”
“Well, once your spirit energy is concentrated into the scythe, your energy only becomes visible to spirits when you materialize it.”
She shifted closer and the edge of the desk dug into her belly. She ignored it. “You mean they won't be able to see me anymore?”
“I mean they won't be able to sense you anymore.”
I'm in! But instead of saying that, she straightened, and her fingers started to play with her braid. “I see.” She didn't want to appear too eager, just in case this turned out to be a joke, because could this be anything else but a joke? Her, the Soul Reaper! Did she look like a personification of Death? She was just an ordinary girl -- well, not ordinary per se, she had some issues, but she was normal enough. On the other hand, he had shown her those metal gloves. And she would do almost anything to get rid of those pesky blurs.
He rubbed his chin.
“What?” she asked.
“I thought you would be more pleased.”
“What do you want me to do? Jump up and dance around?”
“That would be nice.”
She rolled her eyes again.
“So,” he said.
“So?”
“When should I drop by?”
“What?”
“To train you. You don't think we could do that at school during breaks, do you?”
How could she allow a stranger into her home, into her sanctuary? She bit her lip. Could she believe him?
“I'll bring food.”
“Show me your gloves again, please.”
He put his hands on the desk, palms up. Metal plates embraced his hands and red stones glittered in the light coming from the window.
She stared at them, then touched them, her fingertips sliding over the smooth surface. They felt surprisingly real. Could he really help her? Could she really be free of them? Become normal again?
To become normal again.
She pressed her lips together like that would suppress the hope that rose up. To be normal again. And maybe to even find a way to help her mother.
She lifted her gaze, her eyes found his. She wasn't ready to start their training today, she was working, but she should start it as soon as possible. “I'm busy today.” She worked part-time in the mall, in a book store, on Wednesday and Friday afternoons and Saturday mornings. “What about Thursday?”
“After school?”
She nodded.
“Great.” He stood up. “I’ll see you then.”
She watched him walk away until he disappeared around the corner, his words: I told you before, I need you, coming to her mind. She had forgotten to ask him what for.
#
When Ethan said that he would train her, Kate hadn’t expected to end up in her living room sitting on a pillow on the parquet. A scarf tied around her head covered her eyes and she was instructed to concentrate on the blackness behind her eyelids. Meditation, Ethan called it.
“Stop squirming. Focus,” Ethan, who sat opposite to Kate, ordered.
“Do we really have to do this?” Kate complained. This was their third session, and it was becoming quite boring, even though it was fun to watch how serious Ethan became as soon as he sat down on the floor and slipped into the role of her mentor.
“Yes. How else do you expect to learn how to draw out your inner strength? You need to find an inner balance first. And that, you achieve with meditation.”
He had told her the same words before their first meditation. Inner strength. Inner balance. So mentor-ish. But... hadn’t she heard similar words before? Where? She browsed through her mind. From that girl who always passed out pamphlets before the health food store? Wait a minute! She pulled the fabric down and it pooled around her neck. “You mean I could have gone to yoga and it would have helped just as much?”
“It could have helped you, but it wouldn't be the same.” Ethan shifted from a cross-legged position into a kneeling one. “Now stop fussing and concentrate. Lower your heart rate to sixty beats and hold it there for more than three minutes.”
Kate sighed, but she diligently closed her eyes and did what Ethan instructed her to do. Slowly her heartbeat decelerated. And despite the stiffness that crawled into her legs, she could feel silence and calm tenderly wrapping around her. It made her feel drowsy and at ease. She was going to fall asleep any moment now. “Who helped you with this?”
“Concentrate.”
“If I continue concentrating, I'm going to fall asleep.” Kate's eyelids fluttered open and revealed grey irises. She stood up and stretched, then rolled her shoulders. “So... You haven't answered me.”
“It's a long story.”
“I have time.”
“When are you working this week?”
“Changing the subject, huh?”
“I need to know when to plan our sessions, since somebody insisted on only having them on not-working days.”
She told him her schedule, her eyes fixed on the blond curl that fell on his brow. She tried not to gaze at him too much since she found herself staring almost every time. They were similar, Mandy and him, but Mandy's cuteness didn't come even close to the classical beauty of his features. She swallowed and averted her gaze. “Mandy told me that you were a model.”
“Yes.”
“When you were in Japan, right?” She drew her knees up and against her chest, then wrapped her arms around them.
He nodded.
“Why did you stop? Because you moved here?”
He straightened his legs, put his hands on the floor behind him and leaned on them. “No. I stopped long before we left Japan.”
“You did? Why?”
“It didn't work for me. I mean, I liked the photo shoots and acting, but they wanted me to try to be a singer, and with all the rest -- having to smile all the time and to all those pushy people, that stuff drove me crazy. And then there was--” His face tightened.
“What?”
“Nothing.” The placating smile that appeared on his face seemed genuine, but she had used too many smiles to appease people to be fooled by it.
She didn't push for an answer though. The less she knew about him the better; it was just that here and there, curiosity got the better of her.
“Now, let's start again. Get into position.” He crossed his legs and rested his hands on his knees, his thumbs and forefingers forming circles. “Come on.”
She rolled her eyes, something that she found herself doing in his presence quite often, and returned to her previous position, an imitation of his. He was insistent that her lessons should last a minimum of two hours, only allowing her a few minutes for breaks. Before their first session, she had asked him what he meant by “I need you.” He explained that their powers were connected, and that the Awakener's power is drawn from the Soul Reaper, meaning that with her abilities under control, he would get stronger. Or so she understood him, but she didn't buy it. He wouldn't be such a slave driver if that were true, since there was no need for him to get stronger -- or was there? She still hadn’t figured out what he expected from her. He hadn't said anything to her and she hadn't asked. She never intended to reap souls or whatever the Soul Reaper did, but if she told him that, he would probably stop teaching her, and she couldn’t afford that.