Protecting Our Sons
We have five living sons and one daughter. Although Bruce was circumcised at birth, we jointly agreed not to have our sons circumcised.
BRUCE - I studied the subject extensively before marriage, and the only half-valid reasons the american medical community could give for the procedure was so-called cleanliness reasons - which experience has taught are false. After studying the history of the introduction of circumcision as a common procedure - that of curing masturbation as well as headaches and back aches and a list of about fifty other disorders not even related to that part of the body - I decided the american medical community didn't have a real clue - it was a matter of 'everyone else does it'. I also discovered America is alone in routine infant circumcision! All other countries have abandoned (or are abandoning) it as not only unnecessary but as a harmful procedure! (Of course, it is still practiced by Muslim and Jewish communities.)
Being a religious person, I turned to the Bible - God created mankind and pronounced the creation "very good". It's true circumcision was a sign of the covenant God made with Abraham, but today's procedure is not the same procedure! In Abraham's day only enough of the foreskin was removed to expose the tip of the glans (or, the 'head'); the same amount usually loose at birth! The Maccabees, during their famous revolt against the Greek domination of the Jews, changed it to the procedure known today and forced it on all Jewish men on pain of death! It became a political sign of revolt against the Greeks instead of the spiritual sign of having made a covenant with God! And there were many who chose death rather than meddle with God's ordinance!
In the New Testament, the Apostles announced (Acts chapter fifteen) that the ordinances of the Law of Moses we no longer required. The Book of Mormon is even more direct, the subject being addressed by the resurrected Christ Himself: "the law of circumcision is done away with in me." (Moroni 8:8).
In Europe and some parts of Asia the procedure is gaining popularity - not as a health proedure but as a cosmetic operation to look more american! This is being done mainly among the pornography industry in an attempt to become profitable in the American market - there's no mention of any so-called health reasons! Among the non-pornography society in Europe, Asia, and the rest of the non-U.S. world, circumcision is not only ignored but actively discouraged! Several European countries will treat foreskin problems even to the extent of hospitalizing the patient long before they'll even consider removal.
So, all my pre-marriage study showed plainly that there's no valid medical, social, or Christian reason to circumcise my sons! And as far as Judaism and Islam goes, they are not practicing the covenant God established with Abraham - they are practicing a political substitute! There are many Americans who have the false notion that circumcising our sons shows we aren't anti-Jewish. I grew up with many Jewish friends, have I've been to Israel multiple times and even made friends there - they all knew that even though I am Christian I still had a deep love for the Old Testament and a fierce love for all the children of Abraham - and my circumcision status has never been sought after and has never been required to prove anything! My love for Israel, the Jewish people, and the Old Testament is from the heart, not the groin. I think the Jews and Israelis I know would be horrified at the thought that we would mutilate our bodies to show religious and/or political support! (This action would even be forbidden by the Law of Moses!)
LAURIE - I didn't really know what circumcision was until Bruce explained it to me shortly after we were engaged, and at that point I didn't really care. (Bruce says we talked about it before we were married, but I don't remember.) To be frank, it just plain made no sense to destroy what God had created. I would never inflict such torture on such an innocent person who could never protect themself! And that's all it is: useless, senseless torture!
With our first several sons, we followed the advise of american doctors; that of pulling the foreskin back, forcing it to let go of the glans and routinely cleaning it. But after more independent study we gave it up - non-american medical writings make it plain that as boys grow and as the need is present, then the foreskin detaches on its own. As long as the urinary opening has access to the 'outside world', the foreskin should be left alone! And with our boys, the wisdom of the European doctors has proven true. We've had no infection or disease because of our decision. While bathing the child I would push the skin back to clean only as far as it had already let go as I would the rest of the body. But I only did it weekly at the most; the foreskin was just too good at keeping the glans clean all by itself! The glans is kept perfectly clean and healthy by letting Nature alone!
One item of interest to those changing diapers: It's all too common for a baby boy to urinate just as soon as the diaper is opened. But with our intact sons, there isn't any sudden air temperature change on the glans, and so there isn't anything to trigger the response to urinate! Through the diapers of five boys, we have yet to be wet on! I've taken great delight in watching mothers with circumcised babies get wet on nearly every time they open the diaper! (Great sport in a boring hospital room.) My husband refuses to change a diaper on anyone else's son unless they're intact because of this; he refuses to be wet on!
BRUCE - One great fear a lot of fathers voice is having to explain the difference between their circumcision and their son's intactness. This is trivial - when each of my boys were three and four and we were still bathing together, every one of them have asked. I've simply told them that when I was a baby the doctors thought it was a good thing to cut it off but now we know better. With that, the subject has always dropped until they were old enough to have more extensive health discussions - I didn't make a big deal out of it, so they saw no reason to make a big deal out of it. As far as pains of jealousy, etc. - yes, I went through them, but I've gotten over it and am glad I made the decision I did - and, I'm even considering one of the many restoration techniques. As far as being uncomfortable - what is there to be uncomfortable about? My parents made their decision and I made mine; what they did is water under the bridge, and I've corrected it with the next generation. And I doubt very much my sons are jealous of my circumcision.
From talks with my oldest son (16 years old at this writing) I've discovered that he's not experienced ninety-nine percent of the unintentional stimulation's I went through as a teenager! We circumcised men well remember those puberty years when just turning and having our underwear rub our exposed glans was enough to set off erection after erection. There were times when just walking or riding a bicycle was enough rubbing across the glans (and I wore loose, modest clothing) to trigger the reaction. (This is rough for paper boys!) My son, with his glans safely tucked away and covered against undue stimulation, tells me he's never experienced this and was horrified over my stories. So much for circumcision being a cure for masturbation; as far as I'm concerned circumcision is a major cause of masturbation!
Some people are afraid their son will feel 'uncomfortable' in the school shower. With the trend in non-circumcision we've been experiencing in the last twenty years, more likely your son will have plenty of company and will be envied. Again I've consulted my oldest son, and he tells me boys his age are so paranoid about being caught 'looking' and being branded with a sexual-orientation accusation that today's boys are overcautious and almost afraid to look at anyone below the navel - he went an entire school year without being able to tell me if any of the boys in his gym class were also intact!
And as far as your son having to match the other men in the family - how often does the need to match come up? Wedding pictures? Christmas card photos? Unless you're a family of nudists this really isn't a problem! This excuse is really a declaration of either jealousy on the part of the men in your family (misery loves company) or the fear to tell your family you've made a decision with which they're not going to agree. Let the relatives know to back off - we had to! My father was horrified the first time he saw a foreskin on a grandson, but we held our ground. And my mother-in-law put us through the ringer, sure her grandson was in for a lifetime of horrible health problems. Five sons later, we still haven't seen a single one of them.
LAURIE - The biggest thing new parents must remember is that the doctor is not the one in control. And, american doctors will even admit that they aren't even trained in knowledge or theory concerning the function, use, or maintenance of the foreskin; they're only taught to cut it off for reasons that weren't even valid 80 years ago when a non-medical 'authority' decreed it to be the ultimate cure for all male ills. Simply tell the doctors and the nurses 'No'. You do not owe them any explanation. My husband I was once threatened with child neglect; in return he threatened that nurse with child molestation and mutilation. [BRUCE - My experience is that the biggest problem will be with the nurses. They are the ones with the plans, schedules, and programs, and by not having your son circumcised you will be upsetting those plans, schedules, and programs. And my experiences tells me that a nurse with an upset program or schedule is not a happy nurse.]
Everyday in the hospital the nurses will ask if you want the procedure done; just tell them no. When they badger you tell them to back off - they have no right to tell you what to do! Don't let them bully you; you tell them what YOU want and make sure it gets done! After all, they are there to serve and not to dictate. Every morning when they take the babies away for the doctor to check them, make sure they know you don't want it done.
LAURIE and BRUCE - DO NOT SIGN ANY CONSENT FORMS WITHOUT READING THEM COMPLETELY! AND READ THE FINE PRINT; consent to this procedure often shows up in the fine print!! Also, many consent forms give the medical professionals the right to perform any procedure they deem necessary - no not sign these forms! (We don't even sign them today for scout, school, or church activities!) Too many consent forms are all-inclusive and give the doctor or scout leader the right to treat your child any way he or she deems correct - trash those forms and only consent to procedures on a one-by-one basis. (For field trips and scout trips we specify they are only allowed to perform life-saving emergency procedures without our presence and/or specific permission.) In many places you can cross out and add items to consent forms; if you live in a place where you can do this, then do it! And remember that you cannot be forced to sign anything. Not by doctors, school teachers, or even scout and religious youth group leaders. (BRUCE - Since first sending this writing out on the internet, a lawyer contacted us and advised us that here in the United States it IS legal to cross off anything on a consent form you don't agree with; he said to make sure you initial the cross-off to show that you did in fact cross it off and not someone else. I say just hand the form back and make them, the service-provider, give you a form without the items to which you object. YOU are the customer; they can interrupt their schedule and program to provide for you.) When an institution tells you that you have to use their pre-printed release form, laugh at them and ask them who is the customer and who is the service-provider. I've had to tell scout leaders that they will use the form I approve of and am willing to sign and that's that. I've done the same with schools, church, and hospitals. A lot of these organizations have changed their forms because of my stubbornness.
LAURIE - In the military hospitals our children have been born in, they've put a sign in bold letters on the baby's basket: "NO CIRC". Make sure your hospital has some way of quickly identifying your son so no one 'accidentally' wheels him in for the procedure.
I've discovered that all the instructions American doctors give concerning stretching the baby's foreskin and daily washing are wrong. With our last two sons we followed the advise of non-american doctors and the results have been healthier than when we meddled with Nature.
BRUCE - The internet web sites and e-mail groups on this subject have been abuzz lately with what I feel are the real reasons circumcision is still alive in this country - hospitals are actually making money selling the foreskins. Some are going for skin grafts for burn patients. Some are going to cosmetic companies - all that testing no longer done on animals is now being done on the foreskins of the American male! So, after billing you for removing healthy tissue from your son, they turn around and sell it and make even more money off that healthy skin!
What it came down to for us is that there is simply no reason for the procedure and that modern research has proven what the rest of the world knew all along. As parents it's up to us to do what's best for our children. Whether they are male or female, leaving their reproductive organs intact so they can function correctly is the right moral and medical decision.
Today there is a growing 'civil rights' movement of allowing persons of both genders to make decisions about their body. Men - it's time we better educate ourselves on this subject and then take hold of our parental right and not leave it up to ill-informed doctors and too-trusting mothers (I don't say this to insult any woman!) - it's not a dirty or embarrassing subject; it's mass mutilation based solely on gender! It's our son's health we're talking about; open your mouth and be heard! (And do it before you even marry! As a man, you need to educate your future spouse on male sexuality and its needs and rights.) Five years ago, in response to a magazine article, I wrote that when we men demand and hold out for the right to control our body (as women so demand) as a heritage for all men, then this practice of mutilation will end!
Women - every time I hear you announcing your rights in controlling your bodies (which I am not denying), I can't help but hope you'll grant this same right of personal control and decision to your sons - as you already do to your daughters! If the U.S. Congress can give African women refugee status so they can remain in the U.S. to escape female circumcision, then maybe it's time to reconsider the ignorant manner in which we mutilate our sons at birth. Why do we so thoroughly mass-mutilate our own sons while at the same time take to the streets and write our government, insisting on the protection of foreign women from the same form of mutilation?
~*~