Depression affects:

• how we FEEL (persistent sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt, shame)

• what we THINK (will I always feel this way? will things ever get better?)

• and how we BEHAVE (isolating, refraining from activities we once enjoyed, changes to sleep and/or appetite)

It is a mood disorder that can change the way we function, cause physical and emotional stress, and impact the pursuit of our goals.

Whereas sadness and grief are normal parts of a human life, these emotions most typically come and go without decreasing a person’s sense of self-worth. This is an important difference from depression, because depression lasts up to a minimum of two weeks without any noticeable relief from its harmful symptoms. And while sadness and grief are usually triggered by external events and circumstances, depression can feel like it is a part of us, a constant occurrence, and something we “must” or “deserve to” endure. This is not true; depression is treatable.

First, it may be helpful to think about some healthy ways we can take care of ourselves in the face of SADNESS.

When a life event makes us sad, when our mood lowers, or when our emotions are hurt, there are many things we can do to give ourselves some relief. We can:

• Cry

• Vent to a friend

• Write down our thoughts

• Exercise our bodies

• Talk to a supportive adult

• Breathe

• Ask someone to listen

• Listen to music that matches our feelings

• Get a hug

• Be kind to someone else

• Meditate

• Take a bath and rest

With time, these coping skills can help lift our mood and return us to a stable place, all while honoring the very real sadness we feel in response to life events. However, when our struggles continue to persist for at least two weeks; when negative feelings, thoughts, and behaviors do not go away after 14 days; or when the difficult emotions reach a dangerous or unbearable level, DEPRESSION may be to blame.

In the case of DEPRESSION, it is important to seek professional help. With a professional, you can begin to treat depression with therapy and/or medication. The good news is, an incredible 90% of people suffering from depression show a positive response to treatment. There is hope!

For now, let’s try an exercise that can help keep depression away. Remember that sadness is normal and doesn’t usually affect the way we feel about ourselves. Depression, on the other hand, attacks our self-esteem, makes us feel worthless, and fills us with shame and guilt about ourselves or the things that we’ve done. Therefore, to keep depression away, it is important to maintain a healthy, positive, and realistic view of ourselves. It’s important to practice mindful self-talk:

Anxiety is:

• what we FEEL (worry, fear, nervousness)

• what we THINK about (will I be hurt? will I be okay?)

• or what we experience PHYSICALLY (short breath, sweat, racing heart, tension)

whenever we are under threat.

It is a natural part of our humanity, and it can typically serve as a useful defense mechanism when navigating the world. However, anxiety can become problematic for us whenever it disrupts our healthy functioning or gets in the way of us reaching our goals.

For example,

When we set a goal to try and make a new friend at school, APPROPRIATE anxiety might make us FEEL nervous, PHYSICALLY sweat, and THINK “Am I going to get hurt?” The process of making a new friend can be challenging and vulnerable, and our anxiety is alerting us to the potential danger.

UNHEALTHY anxiety, though, might make us AVOID our goal, or GIVE UP on it altogether. Unhealthy anxiety might feel so overwhelming that we stop going after the things we want.

Therefore, it can be very useful to learn how to honor our body’s natural warning systems, without letting them overrule how we choose to behave.

WHEN ANXIETY APPEARS!

It can be very useful to have a plan of action for moments when anxiety appears, and threatens to make us shut down.

Here are some ideas:

• breathe

• count

• listen to music

• tell yourself “It will be okay.”

• go for a walk

• carry a comfort item

• squeeze your muscles, then release

• tell yourself “I can do this.”

• meditate

• connect with nature

• exercise

• consider your 5 senses

Behaviors like the ones listed above are healthy ways to calm and soothe our anxious feelings without avoiding the necessary– and sometimes difficult– steps it takes to move closer to our goals. Practicing these behaviors will strengthen them over time, and eventually our unhealthy anxiety can be diminished to an appropriate level where it can be overcome head-on.

Let’s try one!

And let's keep pursuing our goals!

Suicide is the act of ending one’s own life. It is an unhealthy and tragic response to suffering. It is important to learn and practice healthier ways of taking care of yourself in response to life’s struggles; however, if you or someone you know are lacking alternative coping skills, and do begin experiencing thoughts of suicide, it is important to know that help is available.

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE AND/OR FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS:

If you find yourself suffering from thoughts of suicide or feelings of hopelessness, please reach out for help immediately.

There are several options:

• Communicate your thoughts to a trusted adult:

  • Parent

  • Caregiver

  • Teacher

  • Counselor

    • *An adult can stay with you until you are connected with additional support.

• Call or text a suicide prevention hotline:

  • NJ Hope Line (1.855.654.6735)

  • Text - https://njhopeline.com/talk-to-us-by-text/

  • Chat- https://njhopeline.com/talk-to-us-by-chat/

• Call 9-1-1

• Go to your nearest emergency room

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS EXPERIENCING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE AND/OR FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS:

If you become aware of a friend or peer suffering with thoughts of suicide or feelings of hopelessness, please reach out for help immediately. You should use the same steps listed above. If possible, you should stay with the person until additional help arrives.

HOW DO I KNOW IF SOMEONE IS SUFFERING?

Seeing someone you know or care about suffering with thoughts of suicide can be a difficult experience. It may sometimes feel easier to avoid or ignore a problem when it feels overwhelming or scary. However, you do not have to deal with these difficulties on your own; it is important to be strong and get your friend the help they need, while also getting yourself some relief.

Here are some ways you might be able to tell that someone you know could be suffering from thoughts of suicide:

Sometimes people will make their thoughts about suicide clear, using statements such as:

• I want to kill myself

• I don’t want to be alive anymore

• Life isn’t worth living

Other times, people will use language that isn’t as direct, such as:

• I feel like there’s no point to anything

• One day I won’t have to deal with any of this

• When I’m finally free

There are also some behaviors that could serve as warning signs:

• Isolating

• Prolonged lack of hygiene upkeep

• Drastic change in sleep (large increase or decrease)

If you suspect that someone you know is suffering and would benefit from professional help, please know that it is okay to speak up for them on their behalf. Remember, they may not be in a well-enough place to advocate for themselves, and so it might be your voice that makes a big difference in their life.

Finally, seeing someone we know suffering can be a difficult experience for anyone. Please consider using your own healthy coping skills to keep yourself well during a hard time like this, and please reach out for help yourself if you feel like you could benefit from support too.