Jokes....

Q: What goes up and down but does not move?

A: Stairs

Q: Where should a 500 pound alien go?

A: On a diet

Q: What did one toilet say to the other?

A: You look a bit flushed.

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: Because it was framed.

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?

A: I'll meet you at the corner.

Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?

A: Write on!

Q: What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?

A: Lonely

Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?

A: A towel.

Q: Why do bicycles fall over?

A: Because they are two-tired!

Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?

A: So they can fight knights!

Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?

A: Someday my prints will come!

Q: Why was the broom late?

A: It over swept!

Q: What part of the car is the laziest?

A: The wheels, because they are always tired!

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A: Stick with me and we will go places!

Q: What is blue and goes ding dong?

A: An Avon lady at the North Pole!

Q: Were you long in the hospital?

A: No, I was the same size I am now!

Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

A: Because he was sitting on the deck!

Q: What did the laundryman say to the impatient customer?

A: Keep your shirt on!

Q: What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

A: Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

A: I think I'm coming down with something!

Q: Why was the belt arrested?

A: Because it held up some pants!

Q: Why was everyone so tired on April 1st?

A: They had just finished a March of 31 days.

Q: Which hand is it better to write with?

A: Neither, it's best to write with a pen!

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot!

Q: What makes the calendar seem so popular?

A: Because it has a lot of dates!

Q: Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

A: He wanted to find Pluto!

Q: What is green and has yellow wheels?

A: Grass…..I lied about the wheels!

Q: What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?

A: Her nose!

Q: Did you hear about the robbery last night?

A: Two clothes pins held up a pair of pants!

Q: Why do you go to bed every night?

A: Because the bed won't come to you!

Q: Why did Billy go out with a prune?

A: Because he couldn't find a date!

Q: Why do eskimos do their laundry in Tide?

A: Because it's too cold out-tide!

Q: How do you cure a headache?

A: Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

Q: What has four wheels and flies?

A: A garbage truck!

Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?

A: A minnie van!

Q: Why don't traffic lights ever go swimming?

A: Because they take too long to change!

Q: Why did the man run around his bed?

A: To catch up on his sleep!

Q: Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?

A: He wanted to make a clean get away!

Mad Lib....