Kids and Cell Phones
How Cell Phones Impact on Our Kiddos
Cell phones seem to be at the root of a lot of middle school drama and angst. When parents are given the time and space to talk about their experiences, inevitably the topic of their child and their cell phone use comes up. Most parents feel they have no choice in providing the child a cell phone. Gone are the days of landlines, we want to be able to get in touch with them in a moments notice, we like to keep track of where they are. We know they need it, but they are ALWAYS on it, trolling social media, texting, gaming, snapchatting and then we begin to see behaviors in our kiddos that are out of character, and they aren't getting chores or homework done. Their grades start to slip. They are grouchy and irritable and hard to wake in the morning. We recognize it's a little more than the typical 'stuff' we see as parents of middle school age students, but we can't put our finger on it, and are just not sure what to do about it.
What We Know
Research shows the suspicions we have as parents regarding our children’s use of cell phones, particularly at bedtime has an impact on their sleep habits and mental health. Studies which assess students night time cell phone use, sleep quality and mood over time show that students who report higher levels of night time cell phone use also reported higher levels of depression, sleep disturbance and lower self-esteem. These things all impact how they interact with their daytime worlds. Often we begin to see peer conflict, dropping grades, an inability to focus on school/classwork and sometimes isolation and withdraw from previously enjoyed activities.
What Can We Do?
By taking your child’s phone at night you are giving them the opportunity to disconnect from their increasingly stressful cyberworld. Students spend a lot of time on social media observing other people’s ‘perfect’ lives. They are exposed to negative and hurtful messages, anonymous polls, and inappropriate content. If they have a conflict with a peer, taking their phone allows for a ‘cooling off’ period in order for both people to better handle their feelings and emotions. It also allows parents the opportunity to engage in meaningful conversation and discussion by offering a small peak into the otherwise mysterious world of your pre-teen/teen.
Tips
Establish a time limit- ex:phone is turned in to parent at 7:30
Keep the phone charging in a ‘neutral zone’
Activate screen time on your child’s phone
Install monitoring apps to keep a closer eye on what your child is doing
Keep the phone in your room
Power phone down
Establish a family policy where no one in the family can use their phone past an established time. Instead play board games, do homework, work on family projects, go for a family walk, play cards, read. The possibilities are endless
Role model responsible use of cell phones
Periodically check/review your child's phone for content or language to make sure they are behaving responsibly and in a way you would want them to represent you and your family values
Wrap Up
As parents it is our responsibility to teach responsible behavior to our children. We wouldn’t allow our 12 year old to drive a car because it is too dangerous and they do not have the ability to control the consequences of their behavior. Cellphone usage is no different. When we put that tiny little computer in their hands they have access to far more than any one of us could ever imagine. It is our responsibility to keep them safe from all the dangers available through social media, the internet and text threads for the same reason; children have a difficult time understanding the consequences of their online behavior.