Your Superhero Costume

A special shoutout to the enneagram 2s out there *raises own hand* (and anyone else who identifies as a “helper”)! Being a helper is by no means a bad thing. We NEED helping, caring people in this world. You probably know a helper in your life (or maybe you are one). They are usually the first ones to bring you a meal when you’re sick, you offer to help you move, or the person you can count on to be a volunteer for something. They are dependable and just downright caring. Often, they probably get joy and energy from helping others.

However, there can be another side to “the helper.” It’s the side that can feel like the weight of the world rests on your shoulders and your shoulders alone. It’s the voice that says, “No one else will do it if you don’t.” It’s the worry that if you say no to something, then people won’t find you dependable. It’s the thought that goes, “You don’t need help; you can do it all.” Sometimes it’s the helpers that have the hardest time accepting help themselves. We can feel like we have to live in our superhero costume 24/7, always at the ready to swoop in and help someone in need. We can get so caught up in taking care of others that we forget to take care of ourselves. So how do we take off our capes from time to time and be our own superheroes?

1. Make self-care a priority!

No, we’re not talking bubble baths and spa days. Find regular things that fill you up and give you life. Maybe it’s watching your favorite movie, or going to the gym, or engaging in a hobby just for you.

2. Practice saying no.

Whew, this is a hard one! Start small if you need to; maybe it’s declining a lunch invitation because you really need to go grocery shopping. It’s ok to say no to something if it doesn’t work in your schedule or if you’re just too emotionally/mentally drained to give to someone else. Practice setting boundaries with your time and energy.

3. Recognize your worth outside of helping others.

Helping others often makes us feel good about ourselves. But sometimes, we can go overboard and feel like our worth is tied to helping others. Recognize you can still be a good person or bring value to a relationship, even if you don’t take on an extra responsibility to help out. In fact, you may even be a better person for it because you can focus on being the best version of yourself and giving to others when you are at your best.