Tech Addiction

There are two critical pieces to this conversation:

1. Be sure it's a dialogue and not a lecture! Ask your child their thoughts on the pros and cons of using and over-using technology. Ask them how they feel mentally, physically, and emotionally when they've used their phone too much during the day. Also ask how they benefit from using their phone and what they like  about various apps.
   
   

2. Your child needs to be reassured that the goal is NOT to rip their phone away forever. A certain amount of technology can benefit kids, allowing them to connect with peers, get help on assignments, and stay organized. Explaining that you understand will go a long way to minimizing negative reactions.

With your child, determine times and places where everyone agrees to keep their phones away. Here are a few ideas to get started:

•  Family meals
  Consider using a timer that dictates when phones become available. That way, kids won't race through the meal or constantly ask to be excused. Need a Lock Box? Try this!

• Bedroom/Bedtime
  Bedtime and bedrooms should be phone-free! About 30 minutes before bedtime, have kids plug phones into a locked/supervised location to charge until they are released at a reasonable time the next morning.

•  Movies
  If you're home, make sure phones are silent, so no one is distracted.
  If you go out to the movies, bring only one phone for emergencies and keep that phone off. With the phones at home, you can talk about the movie on your drive home without kids begging to get their phones back.

• Shopping
  Are you out buying something for/with your kids? That's a great time to ask for their help or catch up with what they're up to/interested in. 

• Family activities, gatherings, hikes, etc.
  If there is a reasonable alternative to being on a phone, leave the phones off/away.

Kids can read, listen, play, and watch anything on their phones...but they don't have to! Offer up plenty of engaging and productive replacements:

• Books, magazines, comic books, graphic novels, newspapers

• MP3 player, radio

• Camera

• TV

• Game console

• Board games

• Family bonding time!

Smartphone alerts are addictive: We don't notice how drawn we are to that dopamine hit they produce. 

Once you turn the notifications off, that temptation to check will gradually decrease. Kids may be afraid to miss something important, so you may need to start with turning the sound off and build to turning off notifications.

Create goals for the whole family surrounding tech usage. You could create a goal based around the “screentime” setting on iPhones to track overall and categorized usage. For best results, model the behavior that you hope to see from your teens!

The one-screen-at-a-time rule helps kids hold on to their ability to focus moreso than when they have a laptop, an iPad, a smartphone, and a TV on. While we may all break this rule as adults, limiting to one screen at a time is important for children as they build habits and abilities for their future.

This rule is for the parents! If you've agreed that a child is allowed to have screen time during a particular time, honoring that agreement goes both ways: Let them enjoy their screens in whatever (rule-abiding) manner they want free of interruption. Certainly there are exceptions, but if it can wait until after screen time, kids will be more likely to reciprocate the respect you show them.