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Yes, we all have the picture of the gifted child that has been painted in our heads... the "nerd" with thick glasses who is the teacher's pet and just can't seem to pull their nose out of a book. And while, sure, some gifted children may fit this archetype, certainly not all do. In fact, parents and teachers alike are often surprised to find out that children they least expect have been identified as gifted. In fact, it is inevitable that at some point in every school year, a parent will come in disbelief with this exact question:
“But how can my kid be gifted but also do poorly in school?”
They understood that it was possible (they were experiencing it, of course), but how could it be possible?
So, how can gifted kids also struggle at school? Here are three images I’m using to explain the how, not just state that it’s possible.
1. What Comes Next?
1. What Comes Next?
Here is an example of one kind of thinking we look for when testing for a gifted program. Note that there are no directions, just some images and a blank. Which choice comes next?
Bring a problem like this into a gifted classroom and watch what happens. This image is like a jolt of caffeine to the kids' brains in the group. They will be immediately engaged, arguing about which image comes next and trying to explain why. They will get this really quickly without any help or instruction- intuitively. This kind of abstract reasoning, pattern matching, and independent thinking are hallmarks of a gifted kid.
And it’s very easy to imagine a student who figures this out instantly but also struggles to write essays, finish long division problems, or sit still in class. This test finds a certain type of thinking, not “good-at-school” skills.
This is better than just saying “gifted kids think differently.”
2. Bicycle Brain
2. Bicycle Brain
Brains are like a bicycle — they have a minimum speed limit. You can only ride a bike so slowly before you just fall over. In fact, bikes become more stable when they roll faster.
Likewise, if a lesson moves too slowly, students’ brains get wobbly. They get bored. They stop paying attention. They start doing things to entertain themselves. We’ve all had this feeling when we’re forced to sit through something we already get.
Gifted kids simply have a higher minimum speed limit. They need to move faster than their peers to learn. Just as you can’t ask a bicycle to stay up when barely rolling, we can’t expect kids to sit still when lesson after lesson moves too slowly.
Rather than just saying “gifted kids can have behavior problems,” I think this image helps explain the how. Boredom is like a bike that is moving too slowly.
3. Brain Peers
3. Brain Peers
Instead of just saying “gifted kids can struggle to fit in”, I use this image now.
I, like many kids, loved learning about fish, but my interest was so much deeper than my peers’ that it led to arguments rather than friendship. Among the 6-year olds I knew, no one was as interested in my aquarium as me – and it made me lonely. I had no one to really talk to.
But, if this image were me talking to a retired ichthyologist about my banded angelfish… I’dve been in heaven!
Fill in whatever specific interests a kid might have. This student will gravitate towards people who can meet (or exceed) their own level of interest. This often means they need to talk to someone older than them. You might also notice that they gravitate to younger children. These playmates may align more closely with your child's asynchronous development and allow for an opportunity to assume a role in the social hierarchy that may be challenging with same-age peers.
So, yes, gifted kids can struggle to fit in with their peers, but I think this image helps explain how this happens, and offers one solution: find intellectual peers, not just same-age peers.
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