Victor Entry 1

this a wip

November 29th, 202X - Victor

The snow began to flutter on my back as I threw my hockey gear into the back of my shitbox car from some decade before I was born. I wish I were more into this car stuff, and the sports everyone talks about, and all these things that seem to be associated with the “Everything a Man Needs to Know” book that everyone has memorized by each page. My dad has always tried his best to make me normal while also pushing the “be yourself” agenda but I never seem to get it down just right. I also spent the most monumental developmental periods of my life in Germany which ultimately made my prepubescent self unable to get the memo. 

Role models in America were a hell of a lot different than the things I grew up with in Deutschland. I was never really exposed to hockey from what I remember, but I’m strangely good enough at it to still be on the team. I also think my position is just caused by the fact that there are only like 500 people who attend POHS.

 I slammed the trunk of my car with a heavy sigh. As much as I hate this sport, it does give me something to do and people to connect to. I turn around and see myself face-to-face with one of my teammates.

“Hey there,” he says. I fell onto the back of my car from the jump scare he just gave me. “Are’ ya in a rush?” The southern twang pulls through ever so slightly in his voice.

“No,” I say with my eyes blinking. I wasn’t originally in a rush, but I kind of want to be going now that Klint is standing in front of me. “What do you want?” I recompose myself. He twirls a bracelet on his finger and smirks at me. I don’t get it. What’s so important- 

“Found this in ya’ bag. Care to explain?” Klint chuckles. I quickly realized that’s one of the bracelets Elaine made me a few days ago. It has the bisexual flag colors strung on it. Well, I already endured a punch to the face from Jace, this probably shouldn’t hurt too badly. I scrunch my face in preparation for Klint to kick my ass for being gay. “…What’re you doing…?” He asks. I open my eyes and realize he’s giving it back to me.

”Oh, sorry. I thought you were gonna punch me or some shit.” I admit. I take the bracelet gently from his hands. He chuckles lightly.

“I’m not like Jace dude, I’m not gonna punch you cause you’re half homosexual.” He teases me. 

“That’s not why…” I figured it’s kind of useless to explain the situation to Klint of all people, since he’s Cole Schmidt’s best friend. My eyes widen as my brain suddenly concludes this whole situation. The people here have only just found out what the pride flag looks like. For Klint O’Donnell, of all people to recognize the bisexual flag means there's something deeper going on here. He’s straight from the south and one of the most masculine guys I know. Klint could probably take one side eye of my car and identify every issue it has and how to fix it. He also plays in all of the sports at school and is usually the team captain every single time. Everything I’m not good at. “Hey, how do you know what this is?” I look up at him. He sighs and looks around.

“I’m only telling ya’ this so ya’ can gain my trust and believe the words I gotta say,” he pauses. I cross my arms and tilt my head. “My biggest secret that would probably get me hanged in the street is common with that bracelet you got there, I figured you’re just waiting for me to say the words.” He sits on the back of my car. “I’m actually not all that fond of ladies,” Klint says softly. “I guess you could also say that I’m gay.”

I immediately stood up and backed up from him. “Whoa, hang on, what are you trying to tell me?” 

“I need your help so that I can help you. Look, this might be hard to get at first, but I probably know a lot more about you than you know about yourself. But you’re smart so you might be quick to understand.” He says. I furrow my brows and I take another cautious step back. What kind of sick joke is this? He sighs deeply. His breath is shown in the cold air. “This is a lot, so listen up. As you probably know, Cole and I are best friends, I know everything about him, and he knows everything about me.”

“Even about your sexuality?” I say with a monotone voice.

“Uhhhh- No. As I was saying, I know about his dealings with your family and his intentions. Cole… I guess you could say is some sort of scapegoat who’s trying to tear your life apart to ruin ya’ dad’s life.” He says. My eyes widened at his words. Klint immediately waves his arms around as I take a step closer towards him. “H-Hang on! Let me explain! He only does it because he entered a deal with some company that’s rivaling yer dad to protect his own family! Cole’s father is the pastor at the church and that company is keeping the pastor from losing his job! I can’t get too much into that part but Cole is only doing it because he wants to save his own family!”

I raise my hand to rest on my jaw and a puzzled look grows on my face. “What the fuck kind of logic is that? To save his own family he destroys another?” Klint slinks down.

“I guess when ya’ put it like that it doesn’t seem too good. But there’s a catch here. And only you and I can partner together to prevent him from doing too much harm. If he were to quit the job the company would expose his dad. However, if he fails the mission they won’t do that. I have a plan that can give everyone in the situation, you, me, Cole, his parents, your parents, and Elaine, a happy ending.” My demeanor changes at his mention of Elaine. He really must be telling the truth about knowing everything. 

“I’m interested, tell me about your plans.”

“Alright, but you have to hear me out. Cole is currently dating Elaine just to prevent you from gaining your memories back since she’s the one person who actually knows you well enough to invoke the resurgence of those memories. I don’t remember exactly why the company wants to prevent this, but they fear you’ll expose them. This is where things get strange, Cole hasn’t ever really been interested romantically in the girls he’s dated. Especially Elaine, he just can’t get himself to actually like her.”

Klint telling me this only makes me more aggravated, I’m understanding why Jace is the way he is. If I had the confidence to kick someone’s ass, Cole would be fucking dead. I can’t believe Cole is using my best friend for his own personal benefit in that way. He’s twisting her emotions and I can’t let him do that to her, if Elaine finds out, she’s going to be absolutely destroyed. She never deserved that scumbag and this only further proves my justification for hating him. I will do anything to make sure she doesn’t get hurt. “How will you plan on saving her?” I ask him

“Ah… It may be difficult to understand at first, but once you pay attention to him it all adds up. I think he’s, well, homosexual.” Klint gives me an awkward smile. 

“Oh.”

“This… works out for both of us though,” I straighten my posture as he continues explaining, “You see, I kind of got the hint that you probably have a crush on Elaine, and I…have a crush on Cole.” He pauses to smile to himself. What a weirdo, I guess true love does know no bounds. “If you were to… maybe confront Cole about his sexuality, it may deter him from separating Elaine from you, and you’d have a chance to gain your memories back.” This is a lot to process and take in. But I can tell he is being sincere and genuine. Though…

“Hey, how come you can’t do that?” I ask him. It doesn’t make complete sense to me why he wouldn’t just say something to him, since they’re “best friends”. 

“I’ve tried, trust me. I just always freeze up… And you seem to be better with words and more confident about yourself than I am.” He… Admits. Huh. My body becomes less tense as Klint thinks that I’m stronger than him. I never would’ve thought anyone would look up to me, especially someone like Klint O’Donnell.

“Okay. So basically, Cole’s being blackmailed into destroying my life, and my father’s life, and one of the ways he’s doing that is taking my best friend away from me, because apparently there’s a reasonable explanation for why I don’t remember a damn thing as a kid. And supposedly you know my personal feelings towards Elaine, you think that I can help you get Cole, because apparently, everyone in this situation is some form of queer.” I say in a flat tone. His eyes light up.

“Exactly!” Klint sits up straight. “So you’ll do it? You’ll talk to him and help everyone?” He smiles widely.

“No. Get the fuck off my car, asshole.” I said to him, I get in my car and start it up. Klint jumps off. I see his face turn angry. I step on the reverse pedal, causing him to back up. I meet face to face with him face-to-face as I roll my window down. “You should’ve just called me a fucking slur at that point, you dick.” I flip Klint off as I drive away. I see him trying to yell at me in my mirror. 

This whole situation has me confused. I don’t get why Klint didn’t just chew me out instead of telling me the most random story I’ve ever heard in my entire life. What an odd way to make fun of someone, I give him kudos for his speech, he must’ve had to use the last bit of his brain cells to think of whatever the hell that was. Honestly, I’m just not going to think too much about that and move on with my life. 

December 19th, 202X - Victor

I swear I can play hockey. I swear I can be good at this. I swear Cole won’t get to me. 

I resent myself for thinking this, but I have been observing Cole to just prove that Klint was being a dick to me on purpose. From watching the Cole Schmidt bird species, this is what I gathered:

• When in public, (or around me) Cole will often be overly flirty with Elaine and very touchy with her, such as holding her hands and playing with her hair (you can just tell he’s trying to piss me off!). However, when it's not as public, Cole often ignores Elaine and rejects her acts of love. His face during these moments and his movements feel stiff, uncomfortable, disgusted.

• He is very touchy with Klint O’Donnell. In comparison to Elaine, his body language is more relaxed. 

• When girls compliment him, he often is just like, “Thanks”. When guys compliment him he’s like, “Oh you really think so? I’m so glad you noticed, haha!” 

• Cole’s locker is full of men. I mean, like sports magazines. He has them plastered everywhere and looks up to them.

• He is raised in a Catholic family, his father is quite literally the pastor. I’m wondering if he doesn’t believe he’s allowed to know what it’s like to have non-conservative values. Though with that said, he’s sinned quite a bit. Lots of drinking, sex, deceit, greed, and literally everything else he does on a daily basis doesn’t follow the stereotypical views. It could be possible he’s different compared to others of his religion, but everything I know about him says otherwise.

• Elaine has also mentioned to me she’s wondering if something is wrong with her or him. (She’s so obviously not the problem, I swear on my soul it’s just him!!!!!!)

• Klint has mentioned something important to me as well. Yes I might’ve talked to him here and there but he just keeps saying stuff about it and I still think he's just trying to make fun of me. Oh yes. The thing. Klint explained that they have experimented on each other (whatever the hell that means. I walked away from him before he could tell me more). Take it with a grain of salt, it is Klint saying this afterall.

Personally, I think that it’s good to take in the idea that there might be something happening internally with Cole. There is no confirmation that he’s into men. However, there is complete concrete evidence that Cole is out to get me. Here is another list of things Cole has done towards me:

• He is taking Elaine away from me, I’m literally unable to talk to her now and she’s always busy. She’s always at my practices though, well, invited by Cole. Elaine always talks to me during my breaks though and every time she can. I know that she doesn’t hate me, and I know that she's trying her best to manage everything. 

• He got Jace to punch me (this was before we became friends) based on a literal lie and has been feeding him misinformation (who knows who else Cole has been talking about me to…)

• Purposely gives me wrong answers to fail.

• Keeps tripping me in matches against other schools.

• Makes fun of me for the smallest mistakes

• Rips on me for drawing

• Rips on me for being German

• Gets the other guys to rip on me

• Rips on me for being friends with Jace, Reina and Elaine

• Has called me “gay”, but I don’t think he actually knows I am

• Talks about me behind my back

• Causes a shit load of rumors about me

• Has ruined my social life!!!!!!! (I still talk to people and have friends other than my main ones but everyone just harrasses the shit outta me, besides Elaine, Jace and Reina, of course.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cole’s furious face glide over to mine. He throws his stick and tears the helmet off of his head, throwing it onto the ice. The guys on the other side of the ice swiftly turn their heads to view this unfortunate event. Upon my first few months of high school in America, I have managed to get into five different situations where I’m about to get punched. Only two of those resulted in peace but I’m bracing myself for the sixth one I’m about to face. Cole grabs my shoulders and slams me into the plastic barrier, causing a loud boom in the arena. My face scrunches as it prepares for another blow to the face. I open my eyes and I see Cole whose face is entirely red, huffing and puffing. 

“Goddamnit, Victor! I’ll beat the everliving shit outta you if you don’t get your shit straight before the game!” He yells in my face. I furrow my eyebrows. Who does he think he is? I push him off of me and he stumbles, falling onto the floor. I glide away, but Cole suddenly comes up behind me, knocking me onto the ice. I look up at him as he’s about to raise his fist into my eyes. Here we go.

3…

2…

1…

“Schmidt! Get off of that boy now!” Cole pauses. His dark purple eyes stare into mine with intense emotions, that of which have never been seen before in a human. Rage, guilt, embarrassment, suffering, and pride all sat inside of his soul, just waiting for something to feed on them. Cole spits on the ice near me before delivering a glare at me. He sits up and goes over to the coach. “Von Stahl, you too!” I quickly sat up. Huh?

“What did I do? He attacked me first! I defended myself!” I yell as I glide over to our coach. Cole looks at me the entire time. The coach sighs and shakes his head.

“You two are better than this. I’m putting the both of you on suspension for the time being. Go pack up.” He says. I can feel my stomach drop. Oh shit. My dad’s gonna kill me. The atmosphere changed. I immediately felt cold. I could hear the murmurs and whispers from people on the team… 

“Wait, why am I being suspended? I didn’t do anything!” I try to protest again. However, the coach ignores me and points to the locker rooms. Cole grabs his stuff and stomps off. As I do the same, I look back at the team. Some look the other way, others glare, most are silent but only one looks directly at me. Klint. His chest visibly rises and falls fast, and he takes a small step forward. I follow Cole into the locker room. I expect to walk out with more bruises. 

The air in the locker room is silent and tense. I look over at Cole as he opens his locker. He turns his head hard and squints his eyes at me. 

“Hey-”

  “Shut the fuck up, asshole.” He interrupts me.

  “Why are you so mad? I didn’t even do anything! You’re the one who got us suspended by trying to fight me!” I yell. I shove my helmet into my bag. He takes a step forward, then another, then another, until he is a few feet away from me.

  “You shouldn’t have stolen my shot. That was my chance to prove to Klin- to everyone, that I’m still able to be the star player. And you took that from me!” He backs me into the lockers. I slide to the side to get out. 

  “I didn’t take anything from you. You just missed the opportunity. Sometimes that’ll happen, and you gotta be prepared for it.” I said to him, he stopped walking towards me. He turns around to grab his stuff, slamming his door into the locker, causing another loud boom. He walks to the door and tries to open it. He digs in his bag and looks at me.

  “You don’t happen to have your key do you?” He asks me, quieter than usual.

  “No, why?”

  “The door's locked, idiot.”

  “