Gehenna's Vineyard

Hello everyone and thank you so much for getting here early! I know you all were dying to get in hah! Excuse my puns, friends, but in my defense I don't get much of a chance to practice down here in my little slice of paradise. With that being said, all of you did die to get here and for that I am eternally thankful! Ah yes, before we begin this pilot tour of the Gehenna Winery tucked away into my fiery version of the Garden of Eden I should probably introduce myself. I am known by many names -- Mephistopheles, Prince of Darkness, King of Hell...but you can call me Lucifer like my Dad does, and I am pleased to say I will be leading you on our tour of the winery this blistering hot evening! I'm more of a walk and talk kind of guy, so let's get started. Everyone, follow me!

So I guess as we head towards the vineyard to take a look at the vines, I should talk about the origin of this here establishment! Now the original inspiration came from my encounter with my first partner, Adam, at the beginning of time but my vision for this place never came to fruition until my meeting with my late partner Noah.

Shortly after the destructive flood waters receded, courtesy of Dad, I was able to join in a partnership with Noah on Earth and we created the first vineyard from which he enjoyed the same fruit as Adam did in the garden! Now you may be wondering, "Wait, I thought the forbidden fruit was an apple?" That's a good guess, but truth be told the original forbidden fruit was indeed a grape. At the time, one of man's greatest sins was to become drunken and act in a dishonorable way. The way to accomplish this was to eat fermented grapes, which Noah and I later refined into our wine!

Referring back to my meeting with Noah, our relationship began after the flood. Once Noah's family became settled and the ark was unloaded, he began to take an interest in agriculture and I was able to show him the value of the grape. It could be eaten off the vine as a refreshing morsel of fruit but I was the one that told him the secret of its potential: wine. I simply pointed him in the right direction, but once I was able to use Noah's intellect to create the perfect recipe I knew I was in business. After the first successful round of brewing my partner Noah started downing our product like it was water. It was at this point that he became drunken and allowed his youngest son Ham see him enter their mother's tent. Ham, not wanting a younger brother, attempted to perform a sort of surgery to prevent old Noah from fathering any more children. Now at this point I had to dip out of there seeing as how my Dad had to come down and get involved to solve their little family mutiny. Since I had all the information I needed I was able to start our very own vineyard inspired by Noah's back yard!

Now let's continue on to the most high tech portion of the tour: our cellar. Now you may be wondering, "How is it that the cellar is the most technologically advanced portion of the complex?" Well, let me explain. Due to our location, we experience an extremely hot climate throughout eternity which really doesn't bode well for the fermentation of the grapes. Because of the cost of electricity down here we don't often get A/C, so I had to think of an alternative energy solution. So, after years of contemplation I discovered the perfect solution: angel grace. You see, humans have the soul, but angels contain small bits of God's grace. Every once in a while an overly-confident angel finds their way down here, so I capture them and farm their grace. Once I've obtained enough, I use this natural power to energize our climate control system in the cellar. I suppose you could say I'm really making the attempt to "go green"!

*Demon materializes next to Lucifer and a hushed conversation ensues*

AHEM. Well, folks, my kingly duties call me elsewhere at the present moment but do not fear as the tour will continue! While I'm sad I wasn't able to finish it with you, I'll have Prince Asmodeus complete the tour in my absence. While he's not as witty, handsome, or comical as me I'm sure he will do the job nicely. I'll be looking forward to seeing you all....around.

*Lucifer grins, snaps his fingers, and disappears*

Author's Note

This story receives its inspiration from the stories from the Noah Unit from the Biblical selection of story options. The idea of the Biblical flood story is that God was so unhappy with creation that He found it beyond repair. To Him the only way to start over was to flood the earth to kill off humanity, save for Noah and his family and the animals. In an account of the story of Noah and the Ark the author mentions that God sent the flood waters through a place called Gehenna, also known as Hell, in order to scald sinners as well as drown them. I felt like this was an often overlooked detail and thought it would be an interesting point to elaborate on. At the end of the flood, shortly after Noah and his family exit the ark, the author mentions that Noah plans a vineyard with a disguised Satan and drinks of the wine and becomes drunken. This story takes Lucifer's point of view regarding the business of creating a vineyard. With the narrator being Lucifer, he takes the reader on a tour through the vineyard he created in Hell. It is meant to be somewhat of a comedy as this story makes light of a serious situation in which Noah found himself after unwittingly partnering up with Satan. It is important to note that while the story of Noah becoming intoxicated is in the Bible, the story of Noah creating the vineyard after meeting Satan is a legend.

Bibliography

The Legends of the Jews by Louis Ginzberg

Noah and the Ark - The Curse of Drunkenness from the Noah Unit based on Louis Ginzberg's novel

Image Information:

• Banner image: Muhammed and Buraq visit Hell with Gabriel
• Gates of Hell. Found on flickr.
• Grace in space. Found on flickr.