How literature shaped me:

Dickens’ Hard Times revealed the condition of industrial Victorian England and the suffering of the common people. Thomas Hardy’s Jude the Obscure provided a critical insight into class and caste conflicts in society and relationships. Woolf’s Orlando expanded my thoughts on queer theory. The poems On Being Asked for a War Poem and The Second Coming gave me a critical understanding of religion and politics.

Then came Beckett with his “Brahmastra,” Waiting for Godot, which introduced me to Absurdism, Existentialism, and Nihilism. Camus and Nietzsche convinced me that everything is meaningless. When I prepared a presentation differentiating Absurdism, Existentialism, and Nihilism, I delved deep into each concept. The Sisyphus inside me awakened, and I explored philosophical suicide. When I read Metamorphosis, I understood the deep-rooted aspects of human nature. Even people close to us might abandon us when things go wrong. It’s a darker reality, but it taught me the practicality of life. It is said that literature is related to stories and emotions, but it also teaches you emotional intelligence. It prepares you for the heartbreaks you will inevitably face.

When I read Camus’ The Stranger, it begins with the line, "Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know." This made me wonder how one can forget such an event. However, through the novel, I found my answer. I would say that literature made me less emotional, not in the sense that I don’t feel emotions, but it gave me the strength to handle and understand situations better.

Later, I delved into cultural and postcolonial studies, which broadened my understanding of absence. Derrida contributed to this understanding. It taught me how to read power and the text. I studied Hamlet from the perspective of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. I now understand why Spivak asked, "Can the Subalterns Speak?" I studied Orientalism, which revealed how power structures work. I began to understand why all arts are political. It taught me how to read literature and to question—something I believe is the most important lesson I’ve learned.

I realized that literature isn’t just written documents, stories, or plays. It is interconnected with history, philosophy, psychology, social studies, anthropology, linguistics, politics, and more. Its scope is vast, and it teaches anything and everything. I also learned why many authors and poets support those who suffer. Literature stands against power and is on the side of those who fight for justice. As Kandasami writes in the poem One-Eyed, I saw the devils of caste and religion, and I witnessed the oppression of people through films like Article 15, which I had been unaware of before.

Through Frantz Fanon, I realized that Gandhian ideas wouldn’t work in French colonies. I read the minds of oppressors and understood that there is still a need for feminism. I became more empathetic toward the queer community.

I used to believe that the farmer protests in Haryana and Punjab were wrong. I used to criticize South Indians for not accepting Hindi and for hating Hindi speakers. I once believed that the growth of multinational companies in India equated to the growth of India itself.