To the girl who…

Is feeling lost and ashamed. I get it. You LOVE Jesus and you simply cannot imagine doing life without Him. Following Him, being loved and redeemed, a treasured child… and yet, sometimes you feel like you’re in the dark and can’t find the light to guide you home.

You KNOW God is there and doesn’t leave you (Deuteronomy 31:6) but in your heart, you still have doubts, uncertainty. They come when you least expect them, right? Reading that story of a miraculous cancer recovery and wondering whether it is actually true or having days where you don’t think about God or pray consistently. After this comes a diminished desire to spend time with God like you usually do, saying ‘I’ll do it tomorrow, I’m tired now’. Then you don’t worship to music like you normally do, feeling as though you are far too underserving to sing the lyrics professing love for Jesus, because you have become so lost in the wilderness that you don’t know what to believe anymore.

I get you, girl. I can speak of these moments in such detail because it has (and keeps!) happening to me. The first thing to know, which is not easy to admit, is that we are the ones that control these feelings and this distance. It starts when you get distracted, that school project that in the moment is the be all and end all or studying for the exam. Even being on a fun, jam packed holiday or being out of your normal routine. The result of being so busy and consumed in the WORLD is that you are not spending time in the WORD. Your cup is not being filled by the One with infinite capacity, you are trying to do it yourself.

You start getting sucked more and more into the world. Feeling as though it’s like eating a chocolate bar; once you’ve eaten half you may as well eat the whole thing. We ALL do the same with our faith at times, starting to think of our lives as our own and through the world centered view rather than a Christ centered view. Satan gets his foothold here and weasels his way into your thoughts and desires, showing you how easy it is to continue not praying and reading the word.

Now here you are, your desire for God has decreased and your conviction falters a little, even though that was never your intention. Until one day you decide that’s enough. You tell the devil to get out of your life because YOU BELONG TO JESUS.

Trust me girl, I KNOW this is hard to fight. The first step is deciding that you do want to fight and realising that you have to make a DAILY commitment to FIGHT for you relationship with Christ. You are not alone; this is one of my biggest struggles. I am right there with you on the battlefield, telling the devil NOT TODAY!

To the girl who reads this:

God never left you or me, we left Him. The Good News is HE is right there waiting for you.

YOU, yes YOU are SO LOVED, by God and by me. I might know you, or I might not but you are unconditionally loved either way.

I believe in you; you are a fighter.

Fight on, Sister

Caitlin

@caitinsgrant