Three identical teens snuck out of the house again. The clear night still dim under numerous lights in Tribeca, they made their way to the usual hangout in Chinatown.

The hangout in question, stationed turns and turns into tiny alleys, composed of a dark corner housing a single bar table and three tattered stools. Beside the setup, a brittle concrete arch led into an abandoned space, inside which laid a large yellowing mattress enough to accommodate the three that walked in. The mattress bulged slightly in the middle, giving the illusion that something ought to be beneath. This proved true, as when the three entered, the one defined by shoulder-length black hair crouched down to pull the edge of the mattress up.

Beneath the mattress laid sprawled a laptop case brimming with bandages and band-aids, a Glock, switchblade and empty duffel bag.

“Ya gone over the plan, Anett?” the crouching asked, the leftmost girl replied. She fidgeted with the tail end of her tied hair as she nodded.

“If Bernie forgets it again, I’m laying her off missions,” ‘Anett’ said as she glanced to the girl to the right. Their faces similar, the only difference when the three wore matching black clothes bore in the style of their hair. The same black hair differed between them: Anett tying her up as tight as she could, the crouching – Jolt- having hair too short to style, but long enough to differentiate from the two and the one on the right – ‘Bernie’ having shaved all of her hair off months before, only now was the black fuzz beginning to appear on her scalp.

Jolt looked over at the one standing to her right with an assuring smile, the other nodded absentmindedly. Anett’s face contorted into the beginning of a snarl, but she didn’t dare cause ruckus now. She stayed silent as the others, only sound having been clanking heard when Bernie took hold of the Glock from the other’s hand and put it to her side.

The rest of the night had been their usual, their small name ‘gang’ had been known for bullying smaller groups, collecting money and valuables in areas taken over but with minimal security. Albeit armored, the lot didn’t need much to simply walk into other territory and collect their lot. After not even two hours, they found themselves back at the abandoned building, putting things back under the yellowing mattress.

The building itself belonged to them on a whim. When the lot first started out, they used to wander and sleep wherever they could, but after a few run-ins they decided to try what all others did- occupying a small chunk of ‘neutral’ territory. They didn’t make it obvious, but still left signs that someone took this place to themselves. The stool and chairs they dragged out of the local bar garbage; the mattress being something they found on the upper floor of the building they occupied. During nights the three found themselves unable to go back home, they squeezed together on the mattress like they did years ago as kids. Only this time no comfort or blankets to soothe into dreams, and the crunching outside drove them to the edge time after time.

They’d found themselves here young, and never came back, their parents blissfully ignorant even with father’s colleagues knocking on the door every month over sightings of his little girls playing with influential criminal groups that grew more frequent. When he worried, they slipped away into the night and by the time they came back they’d slip away again. Times they’d see their children grew scarce, and the parents despaired and accepted.

The three laid on the rooftop of ‘their’ building. Even so high, one could choke on the heat of the air in the summer night. The concrete below them felt hot to bare skin of their arms after they shed their heavy hoodies, light-colored tanks collecting the dust when they collapsed to watch the sky. Bumping heads, Jolett smiled, looking at the other two who bore more serious expressions. She wanted to speak but felt her words would do no good between the other two. She let the silence reign, her eyes tracing over faint stars. She’d call out to the constellations if she remembered any, but the teachings of her father long faded away after not seeing use of them. Instead, she remembered the countless hours memorizing important biology after seeing Bernie slashed with her own knife and the trembling of hands trying to press tight on the pulsating wound growing redder.

Her thoughts and memories flew away like a flock of magpies when one of them spoke,

“Do you think we’ll stop one day?” Bernie spoke after keeping quiet for nearly the entire day. Never the one to talk much anyway.

Hearing Anett scoff, she cut in before the other:

“I’m only stoppin’ when there’s ‘nuff money for a mansion for all three of us!” Jolett’s tone sounded child-like as always, almost mocking to the outside ear. Bernie’s face scrunched in the darkness and Jolett frowned.

“What’s stopping us from getting ordinary jobs like every damn teen in this city?” asked Anett in her usual calm yet hostile tone. Jolett felt perturbed at the sudden epiphanies of the two, but shook her head.

“We’re too far gone,” she shut the two up with the voice of defeat when she spoke those words.

They daren’t say anything more, each focusing on their own corner of the sky in silence, waiting upon peace hard to acquire in the bustling rotten city. Not much time passed as she noticed the two’s muscles cease tensing, their chests grooved in sync. With a smile on her face, she managed to trace Aquilla out of the dim stars in the southern sky before her eyes struggled to keep open.

Ah, to find the peace in the stars.

They found it once.

Bernadette didn’t jolt up from this dream, albeit it left a trace of melancholy when she sat up. She stared at the faint blue walls, before warm droplets smeared across her naked thighs.

Turn over. Lay on your back. Slowly stretch your arms above your head. Arch your back. The sound of cracking joints, the tension leaving your body. Get up, locate your clothes, get dressed. 4 points. Do not look at the bed, they are still there, you don’t need to remember their faces. The faces do not matter. When you come back they will be gone. You will return with new ones. They will perhaps be old ones, the new ones, but they will be new because you never see their faces and so they cannot be old ones. Being a coast guard is truly a privileged position. Ever since the sea has risen the coasts of Newhope have constantly been harassed by the Remainers. Keep your gun close at all times. Their boats are noiseless, they are sly, they cannot be allowed in. These days their attempts to sneak into the colony have intensified. The wars in the Old Lands must be escalating again. Sometimes you try to recall the Old Lands, but there is nothing but the crashing waves of the infinite sea. You are one of the lucky ones, you were chosen to join the colony. But luck has nothing to do with it. They say you were chosen based on merit, that every citizen of the 8 colony belongs to the top 1% of what was the population of the Old Lands. Life is perfect here, a perfect world. That is why the Remainers cannot be allowed in, because entry must be earned, it belongs to the best, and the best are already here. Your wristwatch starts ringing, your six hours have passed. You take one final glance at the sea, shining in the afternoon sun, then you head down the rampart towards the barracks. Change into civilian clothes but do not take the watch off. As you leave the barracks your watch makes another sound, the display reads 120 SOCPOINTS ADDED. Enough for food, enough for drinking water, enough for company; enough for a weekly day off at the arcade or the pleasure house if you are careful with it. Always enough. Most people have to work twelve hours to earn that. Being a coastal guard is truly a privileged position. Facing the train stop is the grand Mariculture Market, a maze of stalls with fresh seaweed, fish, oysters and all other foods available. Newhope is rich in everything but fertile soil. You head for the west wing, to the stalls with cooked seafood. 12 socpoints and you place your scallops on the table, a hologram appears in front of you, you choose a documentary. It is about eagles. The eagle lives atop of a mountain, other birds try to reach its nest and kill its eaglets, but they cannot. Another 8 socpoints. You should visit the zoo sometimes, you have always loved nature, or so your official traits say. A woman you know joins you at the table. You recognize her right away, she is a friend, she tells you about her work in the school infirmary. Works ten hours, 130 socpoints. She is one of the good ones, you know it. You take the train together, stroll through a park, a carnival is in the park, you enjoy a mime show. You say goodbye to her, the display on your watch reads 20 SOCPOINTS ADDED. Hers says the same. She is one of the good ones, and you are too. People in blue pass you by. You don’t look at them. You accidentally run into one of them, you swiftly apologize, she looks confused. You get a notification on your watch: 10 SOCPOINTS DEDUCTED. You curse yourself. She may also be one of the good ones, but not for you. It is too early, at night she might be one of the good ones for you if the offer is right, but then you will not look at her face and it will not matter. The faces do not matter then. You take the train home. 5 socpoints. You enter your apartment, it is a spacious place in a fine neighbourhood. The bars here have some of the easiest game. Change into a loose shirt and some fitted jeans, 4 socpoints. Take the elevator down, cross the street, enter The Mariner, 5 socpoints. The barista smiles at you as you walk in, you sit at the bar, you make a joke with 9 him. He laughs, so do the people around you. Your watch reads 5 SOCPOINTS ADDED. Jokes are good, people enjoy jokes, it is pleasure. You check your watch again. Two offers, both for a loss. It has been a while since you had to make offers for a profit, you are a coast guard. You read the second one, 30 socpoints loss, a girl and a boy younger than you. They should demand more, the naïvete of youth, it is a good offer. You accept it, you get deduced an additional 15 socpoints. Maybe too young, too young is not good, but you have already accepted the offer now. Too young is not good, but they are two and it is only 30 socpoints, with 15 deducted it is 45, still a very good deal and if you last long enough it will bring you a lot of pleasure. You do not look at their faces. You only see skin. You think of the 45 socpoints, tomorrow you will earn another 120, maybe more if you interact with good people. It is worth the pleasure, they are so young. You do not look at their faces. You only listen, you only feel, this is what it means to live. It is pleasure, it is sensory haze, it is utopia. The faces do not matter. When you wake up they should be gone. Tomorrow you will return with new ones. They will perhaps be old ones, the new ones, perhaps even the same ones, but they will be new because you never see their faces and so they cannot be old ones.

I'm going to tell you a story about an interesting and strong friendship.

Firstly there is Monday. Mostly wearing dark clothes and oversized comfy sweatshirts. Usually, Monday always complains about going anywhere and it's tired all the time. Actually, she can get aggressive very easily if she doesn't get her coffee on time or eat something that she craves. Basically, like a pregnant woman. The nights are her favorite part of the day. Lying in a massive bed with a warm blanket and watching her favorite show. She knows the best shows and her definitely a favorite thing in the world is to sleep.

Tuesday is the famous nerd. Always on time, always good looking and always ready to get things done. He is calm, but when someone goes on his nerves he can be a volcano. Sometimes you would even think he's judging you because of that poker face of his, but he is just in his own world. He hates drama, he finds it childish and unnecessary. He loves to read and talk about science, as I said at the beginning he is a nerd, a wonderful nerd.

Wednesday is the popular girl, good manners, always wearing elegant clothes and a big cheerful smile. She has a lot of friends and is very polite to everyone. You can see her everywhere because she wants to be seen. But people don't mind it because she's gorgeous and a nice person. But when she gets sad, she hides it until night time. That's when her tears come and her sobs can only be heard by the four walls in her room.

Thursday is the troublemaker. Never on time, smokes, and doesn't give a damn about what others think. Tattoos, piercings, wearing a leather jacket and riding a bike are his kink. Police breathing down his neck every night after some fun with graffiti. Thursday looks like he doesn't care about anything or anyone, but he is an angel deeply inside. He cares about others even though he doesn't show it that much. He only has a few friends that he can show his feelings without fear.

Friday is that cheerful totally different girl. The artist. Always colorful and full of happiness, basically a ray of sunshine. Loves music and art more than anything in the world. Always full of stories and new ideas. She enjoys the nice weather by going to the woods or riding her bike down the lake. Friday loves to play games and to spend time in nature as much as she can. She goes to every event there is in town, always bringing her camera with her. She hates to be sad so she tries to think positively most of the time.

Saturday is a party person. Sleeping all day, doing nothing, only if she really needs to, eating pizza or chicken wings, listening to loud music and dancing around her apartment. Usually spends afternoons on her laptop or playing with her dog. And when the night falls that's when she gets her best dress out. Getting ready with fun music and a few friends at her place, and then going to the best club in town. If she feels like it she drinks a little bit more if not, she drinks anyways.

Sunday is the calmest of them all. A writer that has a cat that he adores. You can see him most of the time on his balcony with a pen between his long fingers and a cigarette between his lips. He is nice and comforting, a good listener and a great friend. He is mostly an introvert, but he does go out to grab a coffee with friends here and there. But his favorite place other than his apartment in the nearby park or quiet library where he mostly gets his inspiration for writing. But he would be lying if he said that his favorite thing to write about was love.

Those 7 have been best friends since day one. So different but they fit so perfectly together because they fulfill one another. The amazing thing about them is how they call themself.. "the week". A funny name if you ask me.

A group of friends who are bounded together by loyalty, love and respect of each other. Once in a wolf pack you are truly devoted to your pack and will do anything and everything for them.

Stephanie, Aloy and Nora were friends since childhood. They did everything together. Nothing could keep them apart. They would ride their bikes around the neighborhood, go on their imaginary adventures and stay up late talking through their walkie-talkies. People saw them as a small wolf pack. The three girls liked that they had a name so they decided to keep it. „The wolf pack“ they would say, „that is who we are now“. But, as life went on, they drifted apart. Until one day, some strange circumstances brought them back together.

Stephanie is a young woman in her late twenties, working as a translator and a part time teacher. She is living alone in her apartment but likes to spend her time surrounded by people. It keeps her away from her loneliness. Nobody knows this, but when she was young, around twelve years old, she was molested by a member of her family. She never told anybody because she felt ashamed. Time passed by, but some wounds never heal. She usually drinks herself to sleep. She knows that she has a problem but it keeps her „sane“. Stephanie didn't know why, but one afternoon, some type of feeling made her reach out to Aloy through her Facebook page.

„Hi...“

„How are you? We haven't talked in ages“

„Would you like to grab a coffee? “

Since Aloy was never much of a Facebook user, Stephanie's message was left unseen for a couple of days. Aloy is still a student, in her early twenties, studying to become a psychologist. She has always struggled with her weight, but right now she is on the right track and has lost almost 10kg. Nobody knows that her „right track“ actually consists of throwing up after almost every meal. She chose psychology as her major because she wants to help people and listen to them because nobody listened to her when she needed help. She took up smoking a couple of years ago convinced it would help her lose weight.  Now, it is just a habit that keeps her away from food. She was surprised but happy when she read Stephanie's message.

„Hey..“

„I'm good, tnx...you? “

„Are you trying to get the wolf pack back together? Haha“

Stephanie responded almost instantly.

„I'm fine...so is that a yes for the coffee? “

„You always were the funny one...I would call Nora but I lost every track of her“

„Do you have her number? “

Since Aloy was still online, she answered within minutes.

„I know where you can find her“

„Oh, and that is a yes for the coffee“

„Let me know when it works for you and I'll try to be online more frequently haha“

The following day, Stephanie went to the address that Aloy gave her. She rang the doorbell and waited. A minute later, which seemed like forever in Stephanie's mind, a tall skinny woman opened the door.

„Steph?“ asked the woman

„Hi, Nora“ answered Stephanie

Nora is a woman in her mid-twenties. She was always the tallest and the skinniest of the three girls. She could eat and wear whatever she wanted. What nobody knew is that lately she's been feeding herself with drugs. It made her take the edge off. She is an IT technician and works from home. She is a hacker to be exact. She needed the drugs to keep her awake, at least that is what got her hooked. She was still beautiful, as all of them were. You could never tell they had problems. They seemed normal, well as normal as somebody could look.

„You were hard to find. I think I missed your street a couple of times. “ said Stephanie.

„Yeah, well, it was my intention.“ replied Nora.

„I talked to Aloy, we were thinking of grabbing a coffee...would you like to join us? “ asked Stephanie

Nora took a second to reply. It seemed as if she was doing some calculations.

„Ok, when?“ she finally replied.

„Tomorrow afternoon, around 4 p.m., at the old place? “ suggested Stephanie

„Sure, see you then.“ said Nora and closed the door without a goodbye.

As Stephanie was leaving Nora's street, she sent Aloy a message:

„Nora didn't even invite me in“

„Anyway, tomorrow around 4 p.m. , the old place“

A couple of hours later, when it was already dark outside, Stephanie got Aloy's answer that simply said: „Ok“

Tomorrow afternoon came quickly. Mostly because Stephanie was nervous. „The old place“ was a bar where they used to ate ice cream as kids. Stephanie had a flashback to when three of them shared one scoop of chocolate ice cream because they didn't had the money to get more. Still, it was a happy memory. Nora's voice brought her back to present moment. She didn't notice the two girls arriving. Nora and Aloy had already sat down.

„Hi...I'm sorry I didn't see you there, I was lost in thought. “ said Stephanie.

„Don't worry it happens...sorry for yesterday, I had a meeting going on and I had to cut our talking short. “ explained Nora.

„Oh, that's ok. “ replied Stephanie.

Without knowing what to say, she turned to Aloy: „You look good! The student life has been treating you well. “

„Yes, thanks for noticing. “ replied Aloy with a smile.

They ordered some coffee, and then some ice cream and later on some drinks. They talked and talked and as the hours passed by it seemed like they were never apart.

„I missed you girls. We should do this more often.“ said Nora

„You know what, we should go out dancing tomorrow. Saturday and Sundays are free for all of us.“ said Stephanie.

„Great. I'm in. I know this new place that just opened up. “ added Aloy.

„It's a date then!“ confirmed Nora

Shortly after they exchanged cell numbers, they all went home. They felt good. Especially Aloy who didn't have the urge to rush to the toilet and throw up everything she ate and drank in the last couple of hours. Stephanie had another drink when she came back to her apartment, but it was just one, not half the bottle she usually has before bed. Nora also felt better but she needed to do some work because the people she worked for, the last job she accepted had very strict deadlines. Still, she decided to mix some coffee with an energy drink and finish the job. In the middle of the night, just before she decided to go to bed she accidentally found a hidden file on the USB drive that her client gave her. The images that appeared on her screen left her scared and horrified. She also found a file with some important information, at least she assumed them important, but the text was in Russian and she didn't understand anything. Without thinking about it, she sent an email with the file to Stephanie, since one of the languages she spoke was Russian. Nora took a shower and tried to calm herself. She went to bed but ended up having a restless night. In the morning, Nora checked her email and saw that Stephanie replied: „We'll discuss it tonight but it's nothing good. “

Saturday evening came fast and Aloy was struggling with what to wear to the club. In the end she decided on high waisted jeans, a flowy green shirt and some high heels. Outside of the club, she found Stephanie waiting. She was wearing a black top with a red skirt and a very nice pair of high heels. Stephanie was the shortest one and these shoes gave a nice illusion of her being taller than she was. At the same time, Nora arrived from the other side of the street.

„Don't you look like a model.“ commented Aloy admiring her friend. Nora had a tight dress with some flower print on it. The dress was knee high and fitted her perfectly. She also had a pair of heels on.

„What did the text say? “ asked Nora as they were walking into the club.

„What text? “ asked Aloy looking confused.

„We better sit down. “ replied Stephanie.

They both explained the situation to Aloy. Stephanie was very worried and suggested that the smartest thing to do would be to tell everything to the police.

„No! “ Nora shouted out. „We can't! I can't! You don't know what kind of jobs I was doing, illegal ones. “ continued Nora quietly.

„This is the job for the FBI, or CIA...somebody that is competent in this things and if we go immediately and explain everything, I'm sure you'll be alright.“ said Stephanie with a comforting voice.

„I agree, we can't just sit back. If the pictures are real and the information from that text is real too, people are dead and maybe, what we know could stop whoever is responsible. “ added Aloy.

As Aloy finished her sentence a waiter appeared and told them that they can't occupy a table without ordering something to drink.

„We'll have three whiskeys on the rocks. Thank you! “ replied Stephanie quickly.

As the drinks arrived, the three girls were coming up with a plan on how to go about the discussed matter.

„Ok, that is how we'll do it. It is not our fault we found out about this. “ said Aloy

They drank up their drinks and decided to go to the police station. The club was full of people dancing and jumping and they couldn't get to the entrance so they decided to look for a back door. Out on the street, in the fresh air Nora concluded that she wasn't feeling so good.

„I feel dizzy. My head feels heavy. “ she said to the girls.

„I don't feel so good either. “ replied Aloy.

„Yeah, I kinda feel like I'm stuck in a haze“ added Stephanie.

If a passer-by walked by the back street of the club, he would've seen three girls lying unconsciously on the ground. Maybe he would've helped them or call 911, but there was no passer-by. Nobody saw a black van pull up. Nobody saw three men dressed in all black picking up our girls and driving away with them.

Stephanie woke up and didn't know where she was. Her head was hurting and she was thirsty. She was still wearing last night's clothes. Beside her, there were Aloy and Nora also beginning to wake up. Stephanie looked around. They were in some type of a giant box. In one of the corners, Stephanie saw a blanket and a bottle of water.

„Oh God, my head hurts so bad.“ complained Aloy.

„Where the hell are we? “ asked Nora.

„I haven't got a clue but it feels like we're moving. “ replied Stephanie with a scared voice.

„What is this? What is happening? Where are we? “ Aloy started to panic.

„ Hey, hey, calm down. Don't yell. “ Stephanie tried to comfort her.

„I'm scared. It is all my fault. It's the files I found. “ Nora blamed herself.

In that moment they heard a loud noise and something dropped them. They were in a blue container and were being loaded up on a cargo ship.

„Somebody help us! “ cried Aloy.

„I don't think anybody will hear us.“ said Nora with tears in her eyes as she hugged Aloy.

„It's ok, we will find a way to escape! We will survive, I promise you. After all we are the wolf pack. “ said Stephanie as she came close to hug the crying girls.

The old insane asylum looked bigger than I'd imagined. I guess that everything looks bigger at night, even the path through the forest I took seemed longer. With my exploring equipment on my back and a small camera in one hand and a large flashlight in the other hand, I was ready to get in. I would lie if I would say that I wasn't afraid to go in. I was terrified of what could be in there. Homeless people, some cult, or maybe it really is haunted as people say. With a deep breath, I turned the camera on facing it at myself.

„What's up YouTube, it's me again! As promised, I came to this old insane asylum that some of you recommended. Well, I'm not going to talk too much, only if I need to, so let's get in! “ I said with a fake smile. Slowly I walked in through the wide open door into the dark space. It was eerily silent inside. I could hear the branches, leaves, and glass breaking under my weight while I was walking deeper into the asylum.

„This place seems very quiet. “ I said to the camera while filming around myself. Slowly I looked around to see the stairs to the first floor and the basement. I swallowed a big lump in my throat as I turned the flashlight off putting it under my elbow. The only light I had was from the camera's light. Slowly I took my phone out to see what the boy said which way leads to the room. As I was taking my phone out I heard glass near me break making me jump away from the sound. I lit the area where I heard the sound with my camera. My heart was pounding like crazy. But it was only a raccoon looking straight at me.

„You scared the shit out of me. “ I mumbled as I put my hand with the phone on my chest to calm myself and pointing the camera back to my face.

„Just a stupid animal. I must say this place is not giving me a very nice vibe. And. “ Suddenly my brain started to dig deep into my knowledge of paranormal, my heart pounding fast once again. I know the theories that ghosts can take forms of deer and raccoons, and I was in an insane asylum where 100000 people have died. I turned the camera back to the raccoon, where he had been just a few seconds ago, but he wasn't there anymore.

„Shit. “ I said and turned the camera back to my face and quickly checked the messages finding the information that I needed. I put my phone back and took the flashlight back in my hand smiling at the camera.

„Okay, for you that have no idea why am I in this asylum, here comes the story. “ I took a deep breath before putting the flashlight below my face illuminating it. „The legend says that the asylum didn't only have crazy and sick people in here, but also completely normal ones. However, suddenly there were a lot of deaths since the day Doctor Louis Mack came. Cause of deaths was all suicide. In only one month of his work there had already been 45 suicides. People became very much suspicious of the doctor. “ As I said that I again heard a crack, but simply ignored it. „So people broke into the asylum thinking that there was something behind those suicides, but security caught them. But the doctor in question was really nice and decided to take them to a room in the basement. If the story is real, the room is supposed to be gray with a chair in the middle. One by one they entered the room, but never came back alive, because they killed themselves. Only one escaped before it was his turn to get into the room and told everything to the police. After that, the doctor was found dead in the same room. “ I said moving the flashlight away from my face.

„Just for the record, they never killed themselves with the chair or broke it. They would usually kill them self by suffocating themselves, or hitting their head on the wall, biting their tongues and so on. “ I felt chills down my spine as I looked down the basement.

„Let's go to the room then. “ I simply said to the camera. Slowly I put the flashlight in front of me as I walked down the old stairs. There was a lot of glass and branches, even though it was inside the asylum.

„I just realized there are no graffiti on the walls.“ I mumbled to the camera thinking about it. Usually, in every abandoned place there are graffiti, but I saw none there. When I finally came down, I faced the long hallway in front of me giving me ugly vibes. It was really dark inside and oddly cold. Not that kind of cold when you are outside on a cold wind or rain, it was just cold. Making your skin crawl.

„It's a very, very long hallway.“ I said as I thought about actually going further. But still, something deep inside me was curious about the room. And that part of me prevailed. I finally made myself walk down the hallway. There were doors wide open showing me how the rooms for the patients looked. They were small, a table and a chair. There was even a room that had children's toys inside. I let myself in one of the rooms where I saw the toys filming everything in the room. I saw even the name of the patient on the door, Lucy. The bed was small, so I guess she was really young. But as I flashed the table I was left in horror. On the wall were some weird drawings of some creatures, like demons in my opinion. But it was a very good drawing, not like a funny kid's drawing. I swallowed hard and got out of the room.

„That wasn't really comfortable to look at. “ I said to the camera and kept going. Then suddenly the hallway became more narrow, the walls seemed darker and in a way more preserved. And what made me skeptical, there were no doors anymore. I kept walking until I saw a white door a little bit further from me, wide open. My breath hitched as I saw that wooden chair just standing there. I stopped in my tracks as I kept looking at it. Is it worth it to go in? I asked myself.

„Okay, I guess that's it. “ I said as I turned the camera towards me. „I hate myself for this, but I'll go inside. I guess if this video doesn't come out on my YouTube channel, the story is true. I killed myself, or someone killed me. “ I said with a nervous smile. Slowly I started to walk towards the big white door; I stood for a few seconds in front before entering the room. The coldness I felt before was nothing compared to this. It was an unpleasant feeling, almost suffocating. As I was looking around, the room seemed totally okay. The walls were light gray but I saw a few holes in the wall, I guess when people were hitting their head multiple times. I turned to the chair that was facing one of the walls, and I noticed that there were bars into the walls, it looked like there was supposed to be a window. I decided to stand in front of the chair facing the bars. I didn't feel anything weird until the feeling when I came into the room became worse. My hands started to shake and my heart was pounding like crazy. Then I had the worst feelings rising inside of me. Anger, jealousy, greed, depression, loneliness, tiredness... Everything became so slow around me; I was only looking out to the bars. Suddenly I felt something strong on my neck, but I didn't really pay attention, I was just falling slowly in the awful feeling of despair. Despair to end it all.

That's when it hit me. I looked down to see that my camera was laying on the floor, I didn't even realize I'd dropped it, and the string that used to hold it was on my neck, having a strong grip. I shook my head as I grabbed the camera and ran out of the room a few meters away. I turned around looking at the room with shock and fear.

„Jesus...“ I mumbled as I looked forward to seeing the raccoon again making me jump.

„For God sake! “ I said through gritted teeth. „Go away! “ I said as I passed it and moved even more from the door, but I was still close to it. I faced the camera towards me.

„Okay, the camera is still on as I see; even though I dropped it without knowing or hearing it. I have no idea what actually happened. But I guess I understand why it's called the suicide room, it makes you crazy, feel all these disgusting emotions. “ I said as I turned back to the room, lighting it with my flashlight to see the raccoon sitting by the door, looking at me and making me swallow a lump in my throat.

„But I guess it didn't work on me, thank-„ but a loud thud coming behind me from closing the door made me shut up.

„That's why you didn't close the door girl. “ I heard a voice like a growl behind me. Like in horror movies I turned around slowly, not to see a raccoon, there was something like a black tall shadow with white eyes piercing to my soul.

„Run. “ Said the voice again and I ran like a lamb from the laughter behind me.

              The eyes are the mirror of the soul. I think that a smile is a device that is weaving our souls. A few days ago I saw one smile, one canvas painted with the most beautiful threads of love. The sun on the horizon waved a celestial vault of thousands of shades spread across the endless blue sky of her blonde hair. The smile belonged to Josipa, a normal girl, but still unusual because she was a girl with Down Syndrome. She was six years old.

              Many friends rejected her as useless stones, instead of covering their eyes, opening their hearts, and turning their eyes and hearts to the glory of her soul. In my heart, she poured abundant waterfalls of light with her beauty, simplicity and strength. With all this rejection of the society in which she lived, she was immovable and strong like a stone. To many, she was just a stone that was stuck in the boot of their shoe and should be removed. To many, she was just a damaged stone not worthy enough to build a house of trust and love with it. For many, she was only a stone that did not belong with the majority, yet had to be pushed aside with others similar to it. To many, she was only an ugly stone that they did not want to see in their path, so they pushed it into the mud. To many, it was just a stone that fell in their shoes and annoyed them terribly. To many, but not to me. Every look at her was a new inspiration and new thanks for the gift of life. She is the headstone for our Father's House of my trust in Him and His love. That girl is not a stone that I should push into the mud because I look at her heart, and her heart is seen as a precious emerald. It reminds me of how the blindness of my eyes blurs the kindness of my heart.

              For some, she was a thorn in their eye. Even Jesus carried a thorn. But not just one ... He accepted a crown made of thorns and reigned over the human race and in the history of salvation as the first and the greatest. He accepted the thorns with his heart, and the thorn had even pierced his merciful heart, but never rejected it, all the way to Golgotha. He never even thought to drop those thorns! What about us?! We do not need those thorns because they just bother us? Do we ever remember that every single one of our thorns will be the crown for eternity?

                Do we really believe in our misleading eye that we see only us in a much better light and the other in the utter darkness of virtue? Why do we raise ourselves to the heavens, while burying others only because they are different? We all have a face and reverse side. We show our face to everybody and are proud of it without discontinuation. We have all the possible skills and virtues on display and they are very, very, very guarded. Nobody wants to lose something good, so there's less to brag about, right? We let everybody see our face and take a look at it.

                We look after our face, but we look after our back, a lot more. That is where all of our disadvantages, omissions, failures and all the bad things that we are not proud of. All of this is covered and we turn it to the earth. We push all the bad into the mud so that we cannot see it. We keep forgetting one thing: if we lift ourselves to the heavens, the thing holding us up in the heights is our pride, we must realize that the back will also be seen. What is our back like? Looking at others, using our eyes for the back and the heart for the face. We do the opposite for ourselves. Our vision is very easily disturbed while the heart is always perceived.

                Our thinking is so distorted that we see people who are slightly different and, to our eyes, they are considered a stone that must be pushed into the mud just because they are not like us. We, whose ambition and appreciation of ourselves has no real limit, want to be above the sun. I see the sun in that child. Why not be by that sun, and not turn its shine into a stone heart covered in mud? Let's bathe our hearts in the sun and let them see.

              We are aware that today the position of the little sun, little Josipa, slowly but surely improves. The sun emerges and breaks the shell of mud on the stone, though it is an unnecessary stone for a society’s trusting house. Oh, when you would know how beautiful her sincere smile is? Society builders today with no heart perspective reject that stone, but there will also be a day when she will be the first stone in the society's home. She will become a headstone and will shine in its magnificence and show everyone the simple and honest beauty of her shine as she does so now.

               Surely our eyes will know her size and the size of her soul on the day when society (that is us!) ceases to consider her a thorn. But our heart can still see her today as a sun that radiates good. Then we will wonder with what do we actually see the essential ... Did the eye mislead us, and did the heart perceive the important in all people!?