The Sure Way to Take Control of Your Life

How to Stop Struggling and Start Living Your Life Meaningfully

You can live your best life. Happiness is within your reach. And your life can become more beautiful. You just need to take control of your life. 

The secret to taking control is something not everyone knows. However, it is evident in the lives of successful people in our society. I define success as having peace of mind, being financially free, being mentally and psychologically free, being in good health, and having a good relationship with others. 

It is very sad that the popular opinion is that a person cannot be in control of themselves. It clearly means they do not understand how. Below, you will learn what you can easily do to take control of your life. 

The Reality 

Brain Tracy in his book Maximum Achievement explained that you feel positive about yourself to the degree to which you feel you’re in control of your own life. Also, you feel negative about yourself to the degree to which you feel you’re not in control of your own life. Here, you feel controlled by some external force, person, or influence. 

The Locus of Control 

You can either have an internal or an external locus of control. 

Internal locus of control means that you’re in control of your own life - you’re in charge. As a result, you feel happy, positive, and confident.  

External locus of control means that you feel controlled by others. As a result, you feel helpless, trapped, and very much like a victim. 

How To Take Control of Your Life 

You may not have complete control over a lot of things, but you have complete control over your thoughts. And that’s what you need to start with to take control of your life. That’s where it all begins.  

“How you think about any situation determines how you feel, and your feelings determine your behavior.” 

I remember when I was just starting my company. I was before then a freelancer who was subject to clients’ whims and decisions.  To the world, it looked like I was my own boss, but it was far from it. The reality was that I had many bosses. The day I stopped working was the day I stopped earning. 

At that time of starting, I wasn’t making any money. And I mostly put what I had into the business. So, at a time when I was broke, I took a gig. Compared to what I was charging for a job of that size back in the day, what I got was a little short. I felt like I was being cheated and I complained. 

I can remember the strong feeling of indignation and dissatisfaction that overwhelmed me. I was going to do all the work, yet I was being underpaid. 

All of a sudden, a thought popped into my head. It said: you only need this job to get by for now. You’re not a freelancer. This is not the endgame for you. 

That changed everything. I accepted the offer with newly-found confidence and clarity. The gig became one of those things to go through on the path to success. I saw it as something I just had to do. 

I felt better because I changed the way I viewed the situation. If I had continued with the first impression on my mind, I was going to feel cheated, dejected, controlled, and manipulated. I might even decide not to do the job and stay broke. But I needed the money. 

Self-discipline, self-mastery, and self-control all begin with you taking control of your thinking. The reality of the situation is that no person or situation can make you feel anything - it is the way you perceive the situation that makes you feel the way you do. 

Thus, because you can control the way you think, you can control the way you feel. Eleanor Roosevelt said ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’ 

Getting Control of that Situation 

There are a few things you can do to get control of any situation that is causing you stress or unhappiness. The following are not steps. They are ways that can be taken individually as they apply to the situation - they all don’t apply to the same situations. 

Take Action 

This is when you take control of your life by deciding to change the situation. Let’s use weight loss as an example here. 

The Weight-Loss Instance 

A lot of weight-loss trends have come and gone. There was a time when weight-loss shakes were common. People aspiring to lose weight only had to drink some quantity of a liquid meal daily. And that was their only meal. Some years after, keto diets came. However, only a few people saw results with these methods. 

Not that these weight-loss diets don’t work, but they were missing an essential ingredient - the mindset. People can visit the gym in the morning and return home to some comfort cake or ice cream because all their muscles ache. 

Thus, nowadays, you have weight loss courses focusing on mind hacks. What they do is to make the average participant view the weight problem as a heavy rock they have to push for certain miles. They help rewire their minds to make them feel in control of their lives and the weight is just a problem they can fight. 

They make them stop feeling like a victim, but like someone powerful enough to take on a mountain. And it works. 

This is the same way you should approach the situation. You have to assert yourself as in control of that situation. You have to deal with it as a problem that can be solved. 

The Debt Instance 

It may be that you’re in debt - credit cards, mortgage, tuition, … You should sit back and face the problem headlong. Analyze your financial situation. Write everything out. What are your expenses? What can you cut? What can you afford to pay now? What can you push to later? What percentage of your income can be set aside in a month? 

You can read Ramit Sethi I Will Teach You to be Rich to learn how to get out of credit card debts and benefit from credit cards points. It is the most comprehensive I have read and it contains some constructive points. 

You can also read Your Money or Your Life by Joseph R. Dominguez and Vicki Robin. This book breaks down how you can get out of debt, save, and even live richly within your means. 

Never forget to take action by assuming control of that situation. 

Walk Away 

You can take control of your life by letting go of a person or situation, and getting busy with something else. Some situations may not work out. A toxic or unhappy relationship may hold you down. 

When you leave a situation like this, you stop struggling, and you feel much better. It is the same feeling you get when you quit an unpleasant job. The work environment may be toxic or your boss may be unbearable. 

You take control by walking away. 

To have control of your life, it is important to be decisive - to know what you want. Do you want to be happy or not? 

The self-confidence that comes with feeling in control is why a person with a clear sense of purpose and plan always has an edge over someone who is vague or unsure.  

Other Tips to Help You Take Control of Your Life 

Be careful of bad energy 

Bad energy is very contagious. Someone with a good argument expressing anger and frustration about something may easily infect you with bad energy. You start to think about that thing, and you start feeling the anger. It could be about government policies or what some people are saying on social media.  

Avoid conversations - offline and online - that have the potential of fueling you with hate, anger, and resentment. Know that social media is everyone’s property and anyone can say anything. Avoid paying attention to things that don’t align with your values. 

Avoid Groupthink 

Avoid the pressure to accept the ways others think. Run everything through your values. Don’t let the general opinion of a group take away your ability to think for yourself. 

Surround Yourself with Positivity 

Surround yourself with friends, families, and communities who encourage you to reach your full potential, nurture your talents, affirm your values and difficult decisions, and give you a reality check when you have behaved badly or are stuck in negative thinking. 

Exercise 

Doing exercises makes you feel in control of your body. Take walks, move about, go to the gym, or/and jog. Knowing that you can control your body gives you a sense of fulfilment.  

Winning Like Tiger Woods 

In 2009, it seemed like it was over for Tiger Woods. A lot of extramarital affairs were reported in the news and tabloids. His marriage was affected, his career took a hit, he lost almost all his endorsements, and he became an object of ridicule. 

It was like he wasn’t going to come back, but he did in 2018. He took control of the situation, got back in shape, and came back as a winner. 

This video below tells it all: 

Finally… 

The economy, technology, society, and a lot of other factors will always be there. You can’t control them. What you can control is your reaction to them. Take control of your life by changing your perspective of life itself. Know what you want and take every situation as another thing you have to face on your path to total freedom and happiness.