Vinesh Bhimjiyani

In addition to seeing individuals, I also see couples who feel that their relationship is in difficulty and wish to seek help.

Couples may be: 

• married or not

• mixed or same-sex

• living together or living apart

If you’re in this position, you may for example be arguing a lot, be unhappy in your sexual relationship, have problems with parenting your children, or be thinking about separation or divorce. 

Couples therapy will try to help you understand more about what’s going on between you, so that you can come to recognise patterns you may not have been aware of. 

We try to help you clarify how you might be able to get things to improve and how you can develop your relationship more positively.

Relationships can come under pressure for many reasons and sometimes couples find that rather than being able to pull together, life's stresses seem to be driving them further apart. There may have been a particular event, such as an affair or a bereavement that is testing your relationship or the source of your difficulties may feel harder to pin down. You may have reservations about starting therapy, however in my experience most couples find it a relief to be able to talk in a safe setting.

The psychodynamic/psychoanalytic approach is non-judgmental, and helps you to understand how your own individual histories and the history of your relationship has brought you to this point. Through this process you may uncover thoughts and feelings that you were unaware of or have not felt able to express, giving you a new perspective on your relationship.

Above all you and your partner should be able to start listening to one another again, increasing your understanding of the other's point of view. The focus will be on what you have co-created in your relationship rather than either person being at fault. Many couples are able to reconnect and rediscover the joy in their relationship through this process. Some may make the decision to separate. The important thing is that therapy will give you the space to reassess your relationship and to move on from your current difficulties.

Some of the reasons couples come to therapy:

• Entrenched and repetitive arguments.

• Bereavement or financial loss.

• Loss of desire or other sexual difficulties.

• One or both partners having an affair.

• Issues around starting a family and parenting.

• Dealing with separateness and difference.

• Illness and/or depression of one partner.

• Co-parenting

• Separation and divorce.

• Issues around life changes such as "empty nesting" or retirement.

• Wanting to improve a particular area of the relationship.