Below are some of my favorite quotes, sampled from the Quotations page. The authors of these quotations are predominantly male and western. Please DM me on twitter if you are aware of good sources of quotations from diverse authors. I have also taken the liberty to change all references of 'men' or 'he' or 'him' to gender neutral terms in these quotes.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. Thomas H. Huxley
TV is chewing gum for the eyes. Frank Lloyd Wright
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. Joan Rivers
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. Voltaire
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. Groucho Marx
Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. Ernest Haskins
Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people. Philip Guedalla
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well. Joe Ancis
I didn't really say everything I said. Yogi Berra
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you. Don Marquis
My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right? Charles M. Schulz
If humankind minus one were of one opinion, then humankind is no more justified in silencing the one than the one - if they had the power - would be justified in silencing humankind. John Stuart Mill
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown
The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking. A. A. Milne
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Dorothy Nevill
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. Jules Renard
People have become the tools of their tools. Henry David Thoreau
What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public. Vilhjalmur Stefansson
Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise. Bertrand Russell
There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead. Arthur Honegger
Of those who say nothing, few are silent. Thomas Neill
If you cannot convince them, confuse them. Harry S Truman
There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. Alfred Korzybski
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. Cato the Elder
What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do. John Ruskin
The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race. Don Marquis
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. Peter Ustinov
A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats. Anonymous
An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it. Jef Mallett
Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was. Margaret Mitchell
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. Bill Watterson
There are two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness. Franz Kafka
Like I always say, there's no 'I' in "team". There is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up. David Shore
The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it. Einstein
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. Jane Wagner
Is there life before death? Graffito
Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy. Spike Milligan
In heaven all the interesting people are missing. Friedrich Nietzsche
What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to. Hansell B. Duckett
In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known. Thomas Pickering
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. Jeff Marder
You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. John J. Plomp
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. Nancy Astor
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Mae West
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. Anais Nin
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. George F. Will
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. Franklin P. Jones
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. Thomas Jones
Indecision may or may not be my problem. Jimmy Buffett
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope
People never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction. Blaise Pascal [Personal note: I believe this aptly applies to the current political climate in India]