As I lay on the table and let the stylist assistant people wax me, I think about what went wrong. Here I am. 16, youngest career, and reaped. Literally how. My parents, whom I do not know, sent me to the Career academy when I was a babe. Apparently, all you have to do is give up your kid for an 18 year wait to death for a couple bucks! Thank Mam and Da! As well as that- new first hand learning provides the fact that, it’s not an ensured 18 year wait. It’s supposed  to be. But I rejected getting into Lucan Dramansin’s bed last week, so he pulled some strings with his Daddy and now here I am- lying ass naked on a table getting all pretty for the Capitol. Lucan is some desperate bitch that INTERNS at the career academy. One cry baby fit on how I “threatened" him to father dearest, who just so happens to be District 4 Career advisor- my name was the only one in that bowl. Did I threaten him? I didn't  think so. I guess some people don't deal with throwing a knife to the side of their foot very lightly. 

“Sweetie? We’re all done. We’re going to take you to Azuera Luxwell.” Says the man that’s  been waxing me. His head is shaved and what’s left of it is dyed to imitate the prints of a tiger. His eyebrows are the same, and his lips are silver. The other assistant of Azuera Luxwell has glitter skin, and hot pink pigtails that are formed in the shape of hearts. She’s wearing a metallic looking dress that matches the man's lips. It also doesn’t look like fabric, more of a solid? The glitter girl gives me a shining smile and I glare back, but she probably has some sort of rainbow sunshine vision because her smile doesn’t falter. 

“Okay. Thanks.” I swing my long legs over the table and walk out of the room, because I'm still naked I grab a robe from a hook and put it on. I walk to the room labeled DISTRICT FOUR FEMALE and open the door. The two assistants are scurrying after me, but I close the door. 

“Hello, I’m Alana Halloran. You’re Azuera Luxwell. My stylist.”

“Correct. Usually my interns fetch my tribute. Were they not tending to you?”

“They were. I just don’t need to be walking from point A to B like precious cargo, when there's a 23 to 1 chance I will die by the end of the week, and a 2% chance that anybody would care. The 2% depending on if I make it far enough in the arena that anybody even remembers my name.” 

“Alana. That’s your name?”

“Yes.”

“I have a feeling nobody is ever going to forget your name.” She says while stalking towards me. This girl is tall, and I’d consider myself as well- but I have to look up to see her eyes. She examines my face for a while before speaking. 

“You have nice cheekbones, good eye color too. I think you’re special, Alana.”

“Thank you?”

“Take a seat. I’m gonna get your measurements from my assistants, and get you dressed for this parade.”

I nod and look out the window. The Capitol could be considered stunning if everybody here wasn’t so freakishly sick and twisted.  Azuera comes back with a rack of clothes colored in light blue, turquoise, whites- ocean colors. The fabrics are unique. Seashells, nets, coral imitation pieces creating the costume. It’s pretty- but I won’t admit that. I tense as she circles my body. She mutters something I can’t catch under her breath and nods.

“This one.”

I look at what she's holding and my eyes narrow on their own before I quirk a brow. It’s turquoise coral used as a top, and a similar color skirt that's a silky looking fabric with a fishing net wrapped around it. She gives me the design sketch to show me what it’s going to look like, and my head tilts. My chest is only covered by coral and the skirt is tiny, and the heels are made of shells glued together or something. How is this to be comfortable? 

“O-okay.” My voice falters, and it reveals that I’m much more nervous for this tribute parade, and the entire following events than I thought. I miss home, the water, my small group of friends. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I look back up at Azuera.

“Pretty. Okay, let’s get you dressed.” Her shiny assistants come back and dress me in the costume. Once done, they walk me out to the makeup and hair room, the heels are highly uncomfortable- but maybe because they are unbroken and I have never actually worn heels in my life. 

“Maybe we should teach her to strut or something. She looks like a foal.” I overhear the silver-lipped man say. Then I hear the glitter bomb giggle. I turn around and glare at them. 

“What did you say? I’d love to laugh aswell.” Both of the assistants' faces fall and they stammer before deciding on silence and to just walk. Not long before we’re in the hair and makeup room. I didn’t know that in here you can see all the other tributes. 

“Tide!!” I yell and go as fast as I can into the arms of my district partner. Tide is 18 and volunteered- like a normal career. Not like me, who was rigged to be reaped. Tide is 2 years older than me and we’ve been in the same friend group since I was a little thing, and it’s nice to be with someone I’m familiar with rather than a stranger volunteering. However it probably would be easier going into the arena with a stranger, not caring if he lived or died. Tide looks down at me and sees my getup and his brow raises, and his lips curve into a grin.

“They said they’ll make me look more terrifying with makeup on.”

“Ahh. I see.” Tide replies. We both look around the room at the other tributes. A girl with sunshine blonde hair and pale skin is dressed in pink sparkly fringe with a matching headpiece with jewels on it, her district partner in some male version of that. I have to guess district 1, luxury, because of the jewels. District 2 usually wears gold, divine outfits to represent the masonry. 

Us, district 4- always in ocean themed outfits, for fishing. The further the districts go from the Capitol, the poorer they are. District 12 has had the same headlamp and overalls for as long as I’ve been alive… so since the 52nd games. I know that they had some weird collection for the 2nd quarter quell, one of their tributes had a snake with them as a boa. The shiny assistants come back over to me and Tide and place me in a seat next to him. Now I get it. The seats and tables for hair and makeup are in district order. The boys are all done way earlier than the girls. 

Once they finish my black glittery smoky eye that's supposed to make my blue eyes “stand out”, and furthermore, make me look “scary”, they turn my spinny chair around to show me my new look. My dirty blonde hair is curled, my eyes actually do make me look scary. A scary that somehow looks pretty and not crazy. I still look a little vicious, so that's good. I don’t want sponsors to not even give me the time of day because of my age for a career. Everybody watches the reaping, so everybody knows me and Tide are tributes from the career academy, and everybody knows Tide volunteered, and I did not. And once you are reaped- your information is out there. Age, height, eye color, everything physical about us. So, they also think I’m an underdeveloped career who isn’t worth paying attention to because I wasn’t done with training. I want to win. I just don’t know if I can. But it’s crucial that they think I can.

I shake off my thoughts and follow the assistants out of the room to the loading docks for the tribute parade. Of course, our chariot is number 4, and Tide is already standing there, waiting. I am helped onto the chariot and immediately feel a crash of anxiety hit me like the horses in front of me. Oh god, I can’t do it. I’m about to be presented like it’s a birthday to all the shiny crazy people of the Capitol that are soon going to be betting on my death. Tide wraps an arm around my shoulder to help me out, and it does. He’s the only piece of home I have. I’m even dressed to be like home, but it’s just what the Capitol thinks is home. It’s not real. It seems nothing here is. As I stare out to the gates that are soon to open, I think about the beyond. Is there more? There has to be more than Panem. Or if there isn’t, there still has to be more than what we have now. They can’t put everybody in the arena. My train of thought is cut off by some Avox’s opening the gates, and the sound of Panem's anthem blaring. District 1’s chariot and horses descend first, and the feral screams from the crowd can be heard. The sound surrounds me, I almost don’t realize our own chariot moving. 

The crowd gets impossibly louder. People throw flowers at us, the Capitol men look like it’s a revolving feast. I never wondered what the Capitol would sound like for the tributes. But if I did, I would have never suspected it to be so… terrifying. They are so happy. So excited. So crazy. 

We circle the track, I wave to the crowd, some people smile, some wave back, some yell things I can’t hear, but their talking faces don't look nice. We get to the President’s stand, where he looks down at us. I smile and wave, he does a quick nod and looks at the next pair of tributes. President Snow. I can’t tell if he’s the worst of them, or the best.  He’s not cheering, he’s not smiling. He doesn’t even look like he’s enjoying this. The chariot turns around and goes back to the loading dock. Our district 4 escort, Seraphina finally reunites with us to bring us up to our quarters. 4th floor. We have food on the table waiting for us. We eat, and then go to our respective rooms. I shower and climb into the bed. God this bed is insanely comfortable. 

After two days of training, I’m back at the hair and makeup, getting dressed in a pretty, long, chiffon coral dress that has gold glitter all over it. This is for the tribute interviews with Caesar Flickerman. We're all lined up for our turn. I watch as that sunshine haired girl struts onto the stage. Her name is Aura, from district 1. I lean against the wall, exhausted from training and wait. And wait. Tide is keeping an eye on me from the corner of his eyes. I don’t even think he realizes his protective stance until they call his name. He loosens up and rolls his head, shakes his hands, and walks onto the stage to take a seat with Flickerman.

Once he’s done, he comes off the stage and gives me a subtle nod of encouragement, which eases my anxiety. 

“Welcome, from district 4… Alana Halloran!!” Caesar Flickerman's voice echoes through the speakers of this theater. I  walk onto the stage with my fakest, brightest smile and wave to the crowd. They cheer in response. The enthusiasm of this crowd makes me turn up my performance mode I wasn't aware existed. I wink, do a little twirl, and make my way to Caesar who’s hand is waiting for mine. I take it with my smile never faltering. Caesar up close gives me a feeling I didn’t think I would have with him. As someone who’s bubbly, kind of dumb- or at least I thought… he’s the most terrifying of all the people that I've met so far. There’s a soulless nothingness to him and it’s eerie. I don’t let this mess me up though. My survival side is taking over me right now. 

“Hello Caesar!” I keep smiling but make my voice sound more girly and flirty rather than my normal voice. 

“Hello Alana! Take a seat, take a seat.” He leads me to the comfy chair and sits next to me. 

“Now, now, tell me, tell us, we all want to know about the reaping, so tell us a little about that. You’re only 16, and from the career academy. How is it possible you are here?”

“Oh, Caesar! It’s just the luck of the draw!” I pause to giggle, which causes the crowd to laugh. 

“I guess there were no 18 year olds in district 4 from the academy to volunteer, and I just got lucky!” 

Caesar smiles at my response and then looks at the crowd with the biggest smile with nothing in his eyes. 

“Well, aren't they great folks?” He chuckles before continuing. 

“She just couldn’t wait to get over here! Ah- ha-ha !” I giggle at his comment even though I want to wrap my fingers around his neck in anger at his words. Yeah . I definitely want to be here. Stupid freaking Lucan Dramansin. Caesar holds my hand tighter before talking again.

“You look stunning, doesn't she look stunning?”

The crowd roars in applause.

“I love it! I love it! The dress, the glitter, wow!”

“Thank you Caesar!” I smile at him. I wonder if he can tell I'm faking. 

“Of course, of course.” His face turns a little serious.

“Now, Alana, what are your skills? In the arena, what will you do?”

“Well, Caesar, I couldn't tell you everything! It’d spoil the surprise!” I beam and the crowd laughs along with him.

“AH! Cheeky! I love it!”

“I’ll tell you a little something, I’m good with throwing things. And climbing.”
“Woww, very nice, very nice.” Caesar says while putting his hand on my thigh. The action makes my stomach churn and my smile falters a bit. He turns to the audience. 

“Isn’t she lovely! Ah ha! Yes! Alana Halloran everybody!” He says happily into his microphone as he takes my hand again to help me stand up. He says one last thing before letting me go. 

“May the odds be ever in your favor.” 

I nod, smile, shake his hand, and exit the stage, and watch the male tribute from district 5 prepare. I glance back and see Caesar still standing there, watching me walk away with a different kind of creepy smile. A kind I can’t put my finger on. I take my heels off once I'm out of view and walk towards the district 4 car. Tide’s already in the back. He smiles when he meets my eyes. 

“How did it go?”

“Good, I think. He was weird, don’t you think?”

“I just thought he was way too happy. No matter how good your life is, nobody can be that happy.”

Me and Tide talk about what we miss from home, what tomorrow will bring, and try to convince ourselves that we can sleep. We both know the truth. None of us is getting a wink tonight. Tomorrow we will be shipped out like lambs to the slaughter, and in a few days time only one of us will live. Honestly? I’m gonna do everything in my power to make sure it’s me or Tide. Me and Tide agreed to be allies the first night on the train here, where he held me when I cried. I don’t cry often, and because of that I didn’t really know what to do. He did. Ever since then he’s been watching over me like a brother, and I’ve been loving him like one. 

We get to our quarters and turn on the TV. Immediately we’re greeted by Capitol celebrations, a late night talk show talking about our odds. 

We flip through channels until finding a film. We chat about our other allies. Districts 1 and 2. The careers. We all decided to help each other out until we can’t anymore, but I think it’s dumb. There’s this other guy, district seven. His name is Ashe. He got a 10/12 on his score, just like Aura from district one, AJax from two, and Tide. But nobody made an ally of him. If we’re all gonna kill each other at some point, I’d  rather be in the same group as all of the main threats instead of almost all. 

“Hey Tide?” I lift my head up from my hands in my lap that I’ve been watching instead of the film. 

“Yeah, Alana?”  

“After day 2, can we leave the alliance?”

“Theres no way we leave them without dying, Al.”

“In the night. When everyone is sleeping. We can go. Please, Tide. I don’t want us to be the first to go. We’re gonna have to all die eventually. I’d rather District 1 and 2 fight on their own before they get to us.”

“I- I don’t know Al. It- yeah. Yeah. We can go after day 2.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and hugged him. I make a silent vow to myself. If it comes down to me and him, I want it to be him that goes home. My eyes feel wet and I shiver at the unfamiliar feeling of emotion. I bottle myself up and keep things inside that when I feel things, it’s scary. I just signed my death ticket, but I'm okay with it? I’m not sure what’s going on. The voices in my head are cut off by the feral cheers and fireworks coming from outside. I go out to the balcony to see the streets filled with partying people celebrating our future deaths. I’m gonna be sick. The night for me and Tide is filled with cruel angst and waiting.  Waiting. Waiting. Waiting to die? Waiting to fight? Waiting to kill? Waiting to lie? Just waiting. I end up falling asleep for a couple hours in the early morning, but the district 4 escort wakes me up. I’d have to guess Tide carried me to bed, because when my eyes open I’m in one. Seraphina’s gloved hand is snapping at me, and my vision comes to focus. The games. The hunger games are today. Oh god I’m gonna die. Tide comes in regardless of Seraphina’s protests and helps me up. We walk hand in hand to ship #1 which is taking districts 1-6 to the arena. A worker dressed in full white comes up to me and grabs my arm. I flinch a little but immediately shake out my nerves, and remember who I have to be. I have to be lethal. I have to be vicious. I have to fight. But yet I still wince as they inject me with some glowing purple liquid. My tracker. I squeeze Tide’s hand a little more as I watch them inject him. The ship lowers in what has to be a lower arena? I give tide one last tight hug,

“I’ll see you in there? Okay, Al? You’ll be fine. It’s just a few minutes.” He whispers. I nod and smile up at him, because I know he’s worried about me. 

“Yeah. Okay, I’ll see you there. Goodbye.” I respond and let the two shiny assistants from earlier in the week lead me away. I’m brought down a long white hallway that looks heavily sterilized. A door opens and the assistants put me inside and lock the door as they leave me there.

The room is small and blank. A metal bench. A clear tube with a pedestal in the middle of the room, I’m guessing that’s where I’ll be lifted up into the arena. I spin around as the door unlocks and opens. 

Azuera Luxwell. A sigh of relief that it isn’t some peacekeeper coming in to get me to strip and change leaves me. 

“Hi.” I say to Azuera, who is wearing a long blue dress with silver arm bands and makeup. Her hair is blue today and curled in an elegant style. She puts a bag on the bench.

“Hello, Alana Halloran.”

I smile. 

“Is this what I’m wearing for the arena?” I ask a stupid question to fill the silence. Maybe I should appreciate it instead of filling it, considering it won’t be quiet much longer. 

“Yes, it’s kind of small, so if I had to guess, the climate is tropical. Probably a rainforest or jungle of some sort.” 

“Ah- Okay.” I start undressing and putting on the outfit. There’s cargo shorts and an athletic type black T- shirt with my district color and symbol, teal and an anchor on the sleeve. Azuera motions me to sit down. I obey. The glitter skin assistant comes in and stands behind me. I look back in confusion.

“Ah ah! Turn around.” Azuera commands. I nod and face the wall. The glitter girl separates my hair, she braids it into two pieces that tie in the back as a half up half down hairstyle. It’s pretty. A peacekeeper comes in, says 5 minutes, and walks to the next door. I tense and nod. I stand up and thank the glitter skin and go to Azuera. 

“Thank you for your help.” I hug her, and she hugs me back. It feels nice. A small comfort.

“Your odds. 4-1.  That’s the last I checked. And I’ll keep checking. I’ll make sure you get sponsors.”

   Her words make me pull back.

“What? Why would you do that for me?”

“I told you. Nobody is going to forget your name.”

I smile. First day in the Capitol. That’s what she told me. A robotic voice says

 “60 seconds.” Azuera turns me around and walks me to the tube. I step in as the seconds keep ticking. She shuts the tube door and seals it, then gives me a small nod before leaving. The platform starts raising. My head is heavy, I feel odd. I feel something take over me the second I look up and see the sun. My eyes narrow and my pedestal stops. I look around. On my right, Aura- district 1. On my left, boy, district 9. I look around for Tide. He’s 7 pedestals away on my left. 

10. Get water.

9. Find food.

8. It’s hot.

7. Knife knife knife. 

6. Get Tide.

5. An axe might be better,

4. Maybe a trident.

3. Screw it, I'll just run. 

2. No! I’ll get knives and an axe.

1. GO!

“LET THE SIXTY EIGHTH HUNGER GAMES BEGIN.” The head game maker's voice says through a speaker. 

The words echo through the Arena as everybody starts running. Some towards the forest, some to the cornucopia. I say cornucopia. I start running. As fast as I can. I reach the cornucopia and grab a backpack and an axe. I get a canteen of water and start running away, then scream when I feel a hand yank me back. Sterling. District one. His fingers graze my cheek. I pull away and he growls. He squeezes my face and pulls me closer.

“Hey! Get off her, man! The hell?” I hear Tide stalk over and yell. Thank god. This dude creeps me out. I walk over into Tide’s arms and exhale a shaky breath. District 1 and 2 are our allies. I’m safe. For now. I look over my shoulder to see Obsidia from 2 ending her kill of a young boy. Tide turns my face away. Sterling looks at me until Aura comes back, wiping the blood of her sword. Her blonde sunshine curls are pulled back in a high ponytail. She looks me up and down, then looks at Sterling, then back at me. 

“What are you good at?”

“Climbing.”

She scoffs,

“Anything else?”

“I mean I could stab somebody if I needed to. I'm also good with berries. Like knowing what’s safe to eat.”

She looks at Tide, who still has an arm around my shoulder. I pray he goes with it. 

“What is she even doing with us if she can’t do anything?”

“Because she’s from the career academy. Like me. Like you. Deal with it. She’s not even supposed to be here.”

Everyone rolls their eyes, but I thank my lucky stars. They can’t know. We walk away from the cornucopia as a group. We ran into two people, a girl from 7, and a boy from 12. Obsidia and Ajax kill them. It makes my stomach twist. But I pretend like I don’t care. 

“Obsidia! No!” Yells Ajax. The boy from 7 pops out from the bushes. Ashe. He takes his hatchet and sticks it in Obsidia's chest. Her eyes roll back and she falls. We all start running, Sterling pulling Ajax away from the scene. Not because he likes Ajax, but because it would be embarrassing for two careers to die on the first night. We walk through the hot forest, and then I see something. Sand. I start running towards it, and realize what the arena is. An island. The ocean is right there, so the forest we’ve been tracking through is the land. 

“Is anybody hungry?” Asks Tide. Everybody nods. 

“Okay then. Sterling, Ajax, go find or chop some wood for a fire, Aura go with them to find sticks for a fire, Al, with me to fish.” 

I nod at Tide’s plan. The sun sets. I guess it’s about an hour and a half later when our fishes are cooked. Then, a hologram starts playing on the arena's roof.

 The national anthem of Panem plays as the faces of the dead tributes of today play for us. 13. 13 out of 24 are gone. Excluding me, Sterling, Tide, Aura, and Ajax- that leaves 6 people wandering around the place, lurking, waiting to kill. Me and Tide might have to break off sooner than I thought. All but one of us sleeps every 2 hours, one to keep watch of course. I use Tide’s thigh as a pillow for the night. The sun rises on the horizon, and we decide to meet back up here later. This is it. We should leave now, or else we never will. AJax decides to go with Sterling and Aura. Good. We say our goodbyes and see you later and go our separate ways. 

“We can’t go back.” I look up at Tide, who looks down at me and bites his cheek. 

“I know.” 

“What do we do?”

“I dont kn-”

Boom. Cannon. We both turn around. 

Boom. Cannon. We look at each other and run. We run until we find a cave. In good timing I guess, because the sky lets rain fall. Hard. We sat down against the rock wall. I catch my breath and go into the backpack from the cornucopia. Two canteens, one for me, one for him, and some berries I picked yesterday. We share, and I sleep. Then wake up, and watch him sleep. This is when I think about what could've been. If I just sucked it up, I wouldn’t be here right now. I’d be Lucan Dramansin’s girl though, and that might be worse. God, I’m stubborn. In the morning, the sky lights up with Sterling and AJax’s faces up there. Either Ashe found them and killed them, and Aura got away- or Aura’s the one who did it. I don’t know which one is true. Tide’s eyes flutter open. 

“Hi.”

“Hi, Al.”

I smile. 

“What are you gonna do? If you win.”

“I’d live in peace, I guess. I’d bring pride to my district, be happy and healthy in my home in victor's village. But-”

“I think I’d get a puppy or something. Maybe a cat. I’d live in Victor's village, and hopefully see my friends from the academy.”

“You will.”

“I will what?”

“See your friends. You’d be the victor– they can’t refuse you.”

“I want you to win, Ti. Promise me something. If it comes down to me and you, let it be you. Be selfish. You’ve done so much for me already. I don’t know what I’d do if you gave me your life.”

“I can’t.” My eyes shoot up to meet him. He continues. 

“I don’t break promises.”

“Tide. No-”

“If it comes down to me and you, you will go home. I’ll be okay. You have to know that.”

“Tide… no… why?”

“Because I always wanted a little sister. The academy was lonely, I’ve always kept an eye on you. But I’ve truly felt like you're my real sister and I love you like one.”

  My eyes feel wet again. I go over and hug him tight, then all of a sudden he squeezes me really tight and spins us around, and then I hear a wet noise. Tide pushes me away, and I gasp as I see Aura’s sword cut through him. My gasp turns into a scream. My once wet, crying eyes narrow with anger. I look at Aura, and I know that there’s nothing behind me that’s scaring her. It’s me. She turns and runs, but before I chase after her, I go to Tide. Tide. 

“Tide! NO! Tide! No, no, no. Hey- hey it’s gonna be fine, right? You’re okay?”

“Y-yeah sweetheart, I’m okay. Hey, Al?  Can you do me a favor?”

I swallow my tears at his raspy voice.
“Yeah, I can do anything. What do you want?”

“Can you win for me, please? And… when you do… make sure you get… your puppy… or cat… name it … after… me… so … I’ll be with… you again.” A tear falls down his cheek, and I can't help but let mine flow. 

“I will. I promise. Can I tell you something before you go to sleep?”

“Y- yes. Tell me anything, sweetheart.”

“I always wanted a brother too. I get lonely sometimes.” I don’t break my gaze from him. He lets out a shaky exhale.

“It’s okay. You can be my sister now. And… when I go… you can know, you’ll never be lonely again, mkay? Cause I’ll be right there.  Whether, I’m a ghost, or …. P-p-puppy… or… I’m… t-tired. Okay sweetheart? You got that?”

I nod quickly. He uses his last energy to open his arms to me one last time. I go into them immediately. 

“Goodnight, Al… I’ll… see… you… soon…” 

And then he’s gone. I feel his arms loosen around me. I scream. What else do I do? I can’t leave him in a cave. I decide after staring at his body for 5 minutes that I’ll bring him to the beach. So I do. I drag him into the sand, and lay his trident in his hands. I give him a kiss on the forehead, and my tears fall onto his face. I wipe them off.

“Goodbye.” I say to the horizon. I turn around and start my hunt for Aura. I grip my axe tight. I know who's left. Aura, Ashe, and-

BOOM.

I look to the sky. District 5 boy, dead. 

Ashe and Aura. That’s who’s left. I make my way to the cornucopia, where low and behold, Aura’s waiting. 

“YOU!”

The curly blonde jerks her head towards me.

“Yes! You! Get over here!!” I scream. 

She growls and starts running towards me. I run back, which causes her to falter. She thinks I can only pick berries and climb trees. I can’t even climb a rock. However, I didn’t lie about berries. Anyways, I use her falter to tackle. My axe never leaves my hand as we roll on the ground. I end on top. 

“Bitch. YOU killed him!”

“I-I- I!”

“Even your pathetic creep of a district partner deserved a better partner than you, coward!” I yell. I take my axe and swing, and down goes Aura. Or better wording would be her head. Oops. To be fair, I usually use smaller axes than these, so I thought that would only slit her throat. I get up and try to get the blood that sprayed from her off my face, but it’s no use. I’ll wait till I’m out of here. 

AGH!! I feel something cut through my body, a sword. Aura’s sword. The one that killed Tide. But I just killed her. So… Ashe. He picked up her sword. He pulls it out of my side. I turn around. 

“Probably should’ve gone for the heart.” I swing my axe, he dodges, I swing it again, it hits, or rather, it slices his chest open. I gag and turn around, knowing it’d only screw me up furthermore to see his organs fall out. I drop my axe and walk to the top of the cornucopia and wave up to the sky as it opens, and a hovercraft lowers. I won for Tide. I did it for Tide. 

EPILOUGE

I wish nobody knew my name. 7 years ago, I was 16. I won the 68th Hunger Games. 7 years ago, I won the games without knowing the new game I was being thrown into. Little did I know I was going to be a Capitol darling. My naive, young self believed the Capitol was just sick and twisted. They can’t just be sick and twisted. There is no way. I’m 23 now. And for 7 years, I have spent many nights like a zoo animal. Faceless, nameless hands all over me like a relic. I’ll never forget the day after I won my games. I woke up like I started, naked on a table. I sat up, got my muscle motion back, and threw on a robe, and ran. Ran for nothing, because a strong arm snatched me from behind and yanked me into a corner. Finnick Odair. Finnick at the time was just a year older than me, 17. He told me to be quiet, then gave me a quick run down of all the horrors that have happened to him since he won, that would happen to me as well. The Capitol had eyes on me ever since the tribute parade. If I won, my fate as the Capitol Darling was sealed. I would be their new shiny toy. And that I was. Since then, me and Finnick have become very close friends. Our victor villa’s are right next to each other and we spend our time together when we aren’t being sold to the blank faces of the Capitol. Winning the Hunger Games delivered me to a new kind of imprisonment. Not the kind that children ages 12-18 feel every July 4th. Not the kind that the ones who survive the reapings and have to do grueling work do. The kind a victor does. What a stupid word. I’m not a victor. That would mean I have won. I am far from winning. Everybody is far from winning. Because nobody ever wins the games. 

I miss Tide. I did what he asked, I got a puppy because he never said cat. The little golden thing is the only reason I haven’t resorted to morphling or other Capitol drugs that “make you forget for a while.” I know my Tide wants me to be strong. 

Sometimes I hope Tide was wrong. That he’s not always with me. Because I wouldn’t want him to see me like this. So broken. The annual 74th Hunger Games plays on my huge screen as I make dinner for me and Finnick. Finnick is like a version of Tide. I see him like my brother, but he will never be as much of a brother as Tide was. Finnick and I have a strong trauma bond. His girl is Annie Cresta. She eats dinner with us sometimes too. She’s a little crazy, but he takes good care of her, and she is nice to me. The door opens and they both walk in, hand in hand. Finnick throws a Capitol magazine at me, and I catch it. I’m on the cover. Again. I hope one day they let it go. They’ve already broken me into their darling, there's nothing more to change. I’m chained. I'm theirs. Finnick and Annie sit on my couch, and Tide jumps up onto Finnick's lap. I smile. I don’t smile often like I used to, only around my dog and my friends, and of course my fake plastered one for the Capitol. I used to smile, not cry. Now I cry myself to sleep and smile in secret. I turn my attention back to the screen

The girl, Katniss. From 12. Long black hair and green eyes. I want her to lose. I have a feeling about her. The feeling Azuera Luxwell described to me once. Nobody will ever forget her name. As nobody did mine.