OUR SECOND LP THIRTY IS OUT NOW!! STREAM ON EVERYTHING AND BUY ON BANDCAMP!!!

THIRTY is our greatest project yet. Like moving through an art gallery, THIRTY paints vivid pictures of freaks, aliens, and murderers doing what they do best. It spans a variety of genres from country, to jazz, to old-school punk. It was originally gonna be a huge double LP but we cut the fat down to just the best ideas. Whether or not we were successful is up to you, and only YOU, to decide.

1. SPOILER ALERT: The opening of this album is a country song, which is meant to be a surprise so DONT READ THIS SENTENCE UNTIL YOU'VE HEARD IT. A bunch of sober country men spend their evenings defiling countless graves. Disrespectful? Absolutely. Helpful for the grass? Maybe!

2. The second half of the first song descends into satanic rock and roll as reanimated corpses seek their revenge after being pissed on. We thought about making this and Grave Pissing one track but we made it two.

3. The THIRd and final single from THIRTY, Logan Green's House warns TMP listeners about our (very reasonable) concern regarding the passing of Logan's hamster, Hamilton, in 2023. One of these Halloweens will be the one. You'll be thanking us when you're not devoured in a zombie apocalypse.

4. The title and sole lyric of this song came from a list of potential TMP titles made by Finn's mom. I think this is the only one we've used so far. If you think the vocals sound off-key, you are INCORRECT. I can never make mistakes.

5. MLM is the first single from our second full-length album THIRTY. It's full of extraterrestrial life, three sided-shapes, and homosexuality. Finn played this song at college and everyone thought he was really cool for doing that. Fun fact: after the single release, we fully re-recorded the song for the final album because we really like it and wanted it to be as good as we could get it. Finn hopes to eradicate the original recording from the internet so pirate it while you still can.

6. Recrudescence is the second single from THIRTY. It's a pretty cool punk song about *gestures broadly* that Finn wrote and recorded mostly himself I think! I don't know I was gone and then I came back and the song was finished. Someone at college said the cover was really cool.

7. Finn is left-handed so he's allowed to say that, actually. Originally titled after the chorus, we changed the name of this song because we thought it would be funny. 

8. Carter's (my) attempt at an earnest song to combat the tsunami of misery we seem to be in these days. Featuring a really catchy melody I didn't write and funny fish metaphors I did write. Logan said he really likes this one and I appreciate that.

9. A short bassy jazz song that commands you to go ahead. There's a sizzle cymbal in there, can you spot it????

10. Finn recounts a terrifying true encounter he had with Jeffrey Dahmer at his iconic mountaintop mansion home. Listen in horror as bodies drop, livers are eaten, and solo games of pool are played. 

11. A longer jazz song that gets rougher as it continues. This is I think the oldest idea on this album, Finn and Aidan recorded a demo of it years ago. Fast paced jazz like this recalls images of running late in a bustling New York subway... or not, do whatever you want.

12. Twitter for Buildings emerged from my notes app and began life as a more ambient, experimental idea. Turns out, I don't know how to do that, and then we cut it from the album and then Finn resurrected it from the ashes and put it together in December as the rest of the album was being finished up.

13. Carter arrives late to recording the album at Attic Studios- you won't believe what happens next! This track expands on the original with more focus on individual performances and a weird swing section. One of our few songs that features all five of us playing live in the room.

14. Swiss Crucifix is the grand epic conclusion to the album. It originally began as a parody of prog-rock music. It was gonna be fifteen or twenty minutes long and full of Christian allusions with no deeper meaning. Unfortunately... 2025 happened and we realized that actually we should just make a nice song about how bad megachurches are. So we tried.

Recorded during the making of Jesus Christ's 2024th Birthday Extravaganza!, 100 bees tells the dramatic tale of a home attacked by a slightly concerning number of pollinators. A song so dumb that it goes back around and people like it again. Rumor has it more 100 bees will be coming soon...

8 mostly original catchy Christmas songs spanning a wide range of genres and themes, Jesus Christ's 2024th Birthday Extravaganza contains Too Much Parmesan's most experimental work to date. The album was written, recorded, and produced within only a month, yet it features perhaps the band's most ambitious songs, an original jazz tune and a rap with contributions by Drew Benthein.

1. Silent Night. Yes, just a normal cover of the classic Christmas song.

2. A jazzy tune reminiscent of classic holiday tunes, but maybe not the holiday you're thinking of. Sung by the fictional band Ding and His Figgy Puddings.

3. A legally dubious parody of Santa Baby, but it's about Santa's Baby instead. Haha get it because in the original baby is a term of endearment but in our song he literally has a baby!!!!!!!

4. A groovy demo track from Aidan's keyboard.

5. The band's first true punk song. Very fast, very hardcore, very many reindeer to be found.

6. A song lamenting the erasure of popular historical figure Republican Jesus by the woke liberal gay gay homosexual gay agenda, continuing the tradition of the Suspicious Sandwich guy making an appearance on every major release. PLEASE BE VERY AWARE THAT THE THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS SONG ARE NOT REFLECTIVE OF THE BAND'S ACTUAL BELIEFS.

7. A cringe educational style rap about the historical falsehoods of Jesus's birth. Featuring an unrelated brainrot verse by (former) high school band president Drew Benthein.

8. A catchy pop rock tune about how much the band loves Weezer and wants to get parasocial with them. Named after the greatest EP of all time.

9. Auld Lang Syne. Yeah it's another regular cover. Thank God for the public domain or we'd be FRICKED.

Apocalypse Hippopotamus is Too Much Parmesan's debut album. Featuring 11 songs and 1 bonus track (although streaming services will tell you it has 12 songs), Apocalypse Hippopotamus is the culmination of 2 years of procrastination and a little bit of hard work. Mixed entirely by Finn -- who doesn't know how to mix music -- Too Much Parmesan used their limited resources to make a raw alternative rock album reminiscent of classic punk and garage rock.

1. A cool instrumental track in 10/4 time with a nonsense name. May or may not be a remix of Among Us Trap Remix.

2. A song that was really annoying to record because it changed tempos multiple times and the band usually records with metronomes so they kind of just had to guess on this one and fix it later. Also it has a kazoo solo because the band thought Finn would probably mess it up if it was done on guitar.

3. You know it, you love it. It's the liberal crabs and their woke agenda for world domination and celebrity murder.

4. Too Much Parmesan's actual best and longest song. Clocking in at 6:41, it features a guitar/kazoo duet solo, a dramatic monologue, and a jam session all in one action-packed song about one of those glow-in-the-dark plastic dinosaurs but if it was really big.

5. You know it, you love it (but hopefully not as much as Flying God Crabs). It's the other single, which really shouldn't have been a single but it happened to be the first song from the album the band finished so they decided to just release it.

6. A song which has a single verse copied and pasted 3 times without changing anything except the lyrics. There's a version with emo vocals hidden in Finn's computer somewhere.

7. A song based on a math project in which band members roleplayed as Sir Bals A Lot and titular character Step Hen. This was the most dated of all songs on the album; numerous references to the number 69 and the drink lean had to be removed to make it fit for release. The song doesn't nearly justify its 6:03 playtime, formerly being the album's Long Track™ before Sins of the Luminescent Dinosaur took that spot.

8. A spooooky instrumental intro to the next track.

9. A song based on the true tale of when Aidan went to the Y.M.C.A. and encountered a horrible phone-wielding beast.

10. A slower ballad which was difficult to record vocals for because none of the band members have the decent singing voice that the track required. It has a cool vocal duet anyway though.

11. The very crunchy titular track on the album, and the first of the main 11 songs to be written and recorded.

12. A bonus track and theme song which Sir Orange Julius himself ascended from death to commission based on his pretty epic smoothie restaurant.

Similarly to Chair of Shame, 10 Dollar Walmart Mic is a chronicle of Too Much Parmesan's wacky history. When the band wanted a microphone to use at band rehearsal, Aidan left his basement to drive to Walmart and purchase the cheapest mic available. Upon his return, the band used the mic for the first time in order to record this song. They also sped up the recording to 2x speed in order to fit it in a 1min Instagram Reel and rebranded the original recording as a slowed + reverbed version, despite no slowing or reverbing being done to it.

Carter shows up LATE to band rehearsal, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! A catchy but simple tune, Chair of Shame was written and recorded in less than an hour, and still remains one of Too Much Parmesan's greatest tracks.

Blood Orange is an EP comprising of 5 various demos and short songs written by Too Much Parmesan in 2022:

1. A catchy electronic beat that went to (pardon my French) shit when the band realized they didn't have a vocalist and tried to sing the lyrics in chorus.

2. The result of ignoring music theory. 1/10 do not listen.

3. A strange instrumental which saw unexpected success due to a particular recorder soloist streaming it 751 times in a single day at work.

4. A wild west inspired showdown between an unsuspecting Walgreen's customer and a pistol-wielding sandwich (hot dog).

5. Too Much Parmesan's first ever release, Balszy Steed tells the story of Among Us plushie Sir Bals A Lot through the sounds of heavy guitar and synth riffs and growling vocals by both Aidan and Finn. The band's most musically complex song before Apocalypse Hippopotamus, Balszy Steed is a perfect introduction to the antics of Too Much Parmesan.