Prologue: Under The Surface

There she is. Across the room, I see the love of my life. Yua Tanaka. She’s as beautiful as the day I left her.

Her long brown hair flows down like a river to her perfect emerald green eyes. Eyes that pierce through my soul and heart, and leave nothing but a crater of longing and love.

Her tall and large frame makes her easy to see and I love that about her. She wants to be seen and acknowledged. I never understood why, but I always loved that confidence. It’s what drew me in. I was always taught to blend in and never be seen, to always kill with invisibility, but Yua always said to destroy your enemy in a fabulous way.

Hehe. Always bold with Tanaka.

I sneak another glance towards her and I sigh. Could I really face her after everything? After how I left?

Maybe I can never have her in my arms again.

I look over my shoulder again and see that she’s gone. Moved on. Like I should have been by now. I won’t bother her tonight. She doesn’t need me to ruin her night.

I continue to sit at the bar with my drink in my hand. It’s my third one tonight. I just need to get my mind off of Yua. The party’s barely started and I’m already about to get drunk.

I try to take another sip of my drink, but somebody takes the glass out of my hand.

Pitcher: Woah there. Zams, you okay?

Ronin: I am perfectly fine, Pitcher. Now, give me back my drink.

Pitcher: Yeaaah, no. Let’s talk instead.

Ronin: Joanne-

Pitcher: So, have you talked to Yua yet?

I looked away guiltily and Joanne shook her head.

Pitcher: What’s with you?! You’re Azami Hill! The second most dangerous woman in the sector! What are you scared of?

Ronin: I’m not scared of anything.

Pitcher: Really? 

Ronin: Of course. You’ve been bested by me enough times in combat to know that.

Pitcher: Fair, but it looks like the mighty Ronin can’t talk to a pretty girl.

Ronin: I can too.

Pitcher: Then, go talk to Yua.

Ronin: Joanne, drop it.

Pitcher: Zams, you’re my friend, I want what’s best for you. Right now, you’re sad, and I don’t like my friends to be sad.

Ronin: I’m fine, Pitcher. Trust me, I’ve been through worse wounds than heartache.

Pitcher looked at me with an apologetic gaze and I sighed. I needed to change the subject.

Ronin: So, how’s Jaxson doing?

Pitcher: Avoiding me.

Ronin: I’m sorry, Joanne. I know it must be hard to have siblings hate you.

Pitcher: Do you have siblings?

Ronin: Many. My mother and my father had many children so, in case one of us died, they could just move on.

Pitcher: Oh.

Ronin: Don’t worry. I’m out of that prison now.

Pitcher: And, inside of a new one.

Ronin: It’s better than my parents’ roof. They made me do things no child should ever have to do.

Pitcher: Like what?

That question made me think of the many things I had to do to survive my parents. How many of my siblings I had to-

_____________________

7 Years Ago

Koharu: Happy birthday, my little viper.

Ronin: Domo arigato gozaimasu, mother.

Koharu: Before you go on your little “mission” with your father, I would love for you to prove your worth one last time.

I could feel my heart sink as she said that. I followed her down a set of stairs to the basement. I should really call it my room. She made every single one of her children stay down here. We would fight, kill, and survive together for years.

When our parents were angry with us, they would make us fight to the death with our weapon of choice. I became my parents’ favorite because of all of the fights I have won.

She leads me into the fighting chamber and I see something that was very familiar to me.

A group of my siblings are huddled and talking to the one who my mother wants me to…

Koharu: Sonaeru, Hina, Your match is about to begin.

Hina, one of my younger siblings, steadied herself with her knife and faced me with fear in her small ten-year-old eyes.

Koharu: Shinpaigomuyō, she is no match for you. But, she does show promise. Make this quick, please, your father will be angry if you’re late.

I step forward into the room and my mother stands against the wall. Hina steps forward and waves for the other siblings to go against the wall too.

We stare at each other for a moment, before Hina rushes forward with her knife and I side step. She tries to stab me in the side, but I grab her armand twist it. She grunts in agony before I hit her throat and she falls down gasping for air.

I draw my knife and pin her on the ground with my foot. She struggles, but I hold her down. She looks at me with fear in her eyes, and I feel something tug at the bottom of my gut. I’m supposed to kill her, but…

I bring my knife down quickly and cut at her left eye. Blood coats my knife and my little sister screams in pain as she clutches her eye. My mother smiles, but it fades as I sheath my knife and move for the door.

Koharu: What are you doing? We fight until they are dead.

Ronin: I fight until they are beaten.

I continue walking and I can feel my mother’s glare on me.

_____________________

Present Day

Pitcher: Zams? Zams?!

I snap back to reality.

Ronin: Yes?

Pitcher: Are you okay? Did I like- Trigger something?

Ronin: Uhm- no. I just- Yua.

Pitcher: Geez, Zams, just go to talk to her. You can do a lot, you know?

My mind wanders back to that memory. I didn’t want to kill my sibling so much that it outweighed my fear for my mother. Now, my fear of Yua hating me is outweighing my need to talk to her. I won’t let that happen.

Ronin: You’re right, Joanne, I will go talk to her.

Pitcher: Great!

Ronin: And, I implore you to talk to your brother.

I leave the bar to search for Yua and leave Pitcher with a conflicted look on her face. I can tell she’s just like me. Afraid of rejection and failure. Maybe we should both take a step towards bettering ourselves.