Hello my diary~
It's been a long time since I wrote here huh.. hehe
in advance, Happy Eid Al-Fitr! Forgive me body and soul!
Actually, on the last day of fasting I already wrote and was ready to post, but I couldn't continue because of the arrival of a baby brother, so I asked him to play first until I forgot about this hahaha.
This is the post below that I wrote on the night of takbiran..
Tomorrow is Hari Raya
tomorrow have to forgive each other......
~ for him: I'm sorry if I have a lot of wrong with you, sorry because I always make mistakes. ~
Maybe a video from the famous TikTok about "there is no such thing as sincerity, it's because you are forced to accept it"
To get rid of this feeling is very difficult, I don't know what to do. I'm letting you go, but not yet for this taste.
I have a lot to write..
from the words of people on twitter that made me think, to mom and uwa who asked about him, and other incidents...
starting with someone's words on twitter that make me think...
"If he wants to let go, then just let him go. If he says something like that, it means he has made his decision. Why stay with people who want to be separated from us. Sincerely, it's over" one of the replies on the base.
why did i think because the sender sent at the base has a similar story to me.
even though the guy from the sender just asked, while he has already explained his intentions and all the voices of his heart..... crying and sluggish is the right combination.
when you said everything.... i.. still ...... thinking..... sane..., i thought like a reply tweet to the mf in the base.
Why keep people who want to be separated from us? What for?
Why keep someone who doesn't want to maintain a relationship? and everything?
everything is clear in front of the eyes, but it's not that easy.
I really want to be able to move on ... but my feelings can't be compromised.
Everything is two-way, if it's only one-way, you can't. You still want to defend, I will defend. you want to let go, I go.
I don't want everything to happen because I have to, just the first incident is a lesson for myself. Enough in incident 1 I fought for it. but now it's all worth it. what all i did ... closed with 1 habit i can't choose.
bad.
Eid has arrived, I don't want to chat with you first. but there are terms and conditions that can be done if I chat first, like when I told him the continuation of his plan and Dawn. It's trivial, I'm afraid you'll be disturbed, I'm afraid you'll think I'm tired, and I'm afraid you'll think I'm cheap.
Every effort not to chat with you is also one of my processes to calm and recover.
On that day, your name was called repeatedly by my mother and daughter..
Mother asked "Are you going home for Eid?" "Are you coming here?"
Uwa asked "Sis, why isn't he here for Eid?" "Why isn't he here anyway?" ..with a judgmental look :(
This is one of the things that really makes me not want to bring him home, the effects will be long term. they are happy with him, don't know behind the scenes. I know, it's my own fault for never telling my mother everything, but to be honest, I don't know myself... what I want to tell my mother. I don't want to insult someone in front of my family. Mum and Uwa know I've broken up but they still ask him.
- I don't know anything else about him? I have no contact with him. Why should you ask me? why don't you ask the person directly?
The next incident was.. Fajar and Uwa had to go back to the village to take care of Fajar's father who was suffering from a stroke.
I don't know what to do anymore, the thesis is still in the process of chapter 1. help me
want a semester, trial, want an internship.....
beeep beeeeeep a few more days to the end of the month.
beep....beeep....beep......tan, you ended things really well. The same date.
for me in a different world, hopefully have a different path from my story in this world.
beep beep.....b beep...beepp...... see you later!!!
ant