Warzone: Borhelia - a mini-campaign on the planet Boreliah in the Esenie system!
Black, stinking fumes rose high up in the air. It was not a pretty sight. Engines were revving, minor explosions were heard from all over the place... and above all, a constant yelling and screaming. The Orks were having a wonderful time! The smell that hung in the air was not bothering Lord Entragian at all. Entragian was indeed famous for a gut ripping fart that had become known as “The Great, Ginourmous, Stinker”. It was the start of a plague that spread all over a planet called Yrrol. Entragian had launched a small “liberation crusade” on Yrrol and ended the war by that famous fart. Most of the people of the planet, and a large portion of the Imperial Guard there, had succumbed to the plague . Colonel Androis of the Metz Guard had more difficulties with the smell though; urine, sweat and whatnot! Androis shivered. He should be used to foul smell since he had been in cahoots with Lord Entragian for a couple of years now. But the Orks' smell... it was something very different! Colonel Androis was pragmatic man. Short, bandy-legged and with a grim face, he realized that the Chaos forces would eventually rule the universe. The Emperor could be dead for all he knew, and besides, what guaranteed that the Emperor was the light to follow? He knew that he was marked as a heretic and traitor and that there was no turning back now. He glanced at Lord Entragian. It was terrifying sight. The lord of Nurgle had one eye, layered in pus. The other eye was gone and the hole where the eye had been, was now ridden with maggots, pus and other unmentionable liquids. It was an impressive man, this Entragian, Androis thought. Killed thirteen times, but still, here he was, searching for something that he believed would change the universe.
-They are a... feisty bunch, my lord, Lord Marechal Androis tried. He was not sure that Entragian liked what he saw and the lord was erratic, to say the least, and could bash anyone's head without even thinking about it. Slowly, Androis moved a couple of feet away from Lord Entragian.
-That they are, my dear... Androis? Eh? Yes, they will fulfill their purpose. That they will. Mere idiots, but by the fly, they can fight! Look, Andros, look at that big walker!
Androis could hardly believe his ears. Lord Entragian joyful as a little child! He watched the Lord of Nurgle look at the Orks with sheer joy. The only eye was glimmering with happiness. This is madness, he thought.
-My meeting with their leader was a success. They have no idea what we are after and even if they did, they wouldn't care. They want to kill humans! That's all! Oh, this is so good! This is so going in the right direction, Antoine! Very much indeed!
Lord Entragian turned and walked back to their HQ. Androis wasn't as sure as Entragian, but the Nurgle lord had probably reason to believe that the coming battle would be a victorious one. Androis just hoped that his forces, the proud 22eme Regiment du Metz, was on the surviving side when the dust settled...
***
Warboss Bronk Stuntiekilla was preparing for another Waaagh! Loot was to be had, heads to be smashed and humans to be eaten, power armour or not! Some foul smelling human in power armour with lots of spiky bits had promised so to Bronk. He was also green and smelled worse than a Squiggoth with a faulty bowel. For an Ork Warboss, preparing for war meant two things:
1. Smash Nob 'eads to make them smash boyz 'eads! In that way the Boyz would smash 'umie 'eads instead of each others 'eads...
2. Smash Mekboyz 'eads to make dem come up with some new loud weapons with loads of dakka!
Bronk had just finished part one of the above mentioned list and was entering Mek compund, a large dirty tent, where Big Mek Tinkerbell was working on some loota gun. No doubt, it looked like it had some dakka in it but it would impede swinging a choppa so Bronk would let the loota keep it. When the Mek's tools was turned off, he swore he could hear a grot screaming "weeeeeee" as hard as the grots lungs could scream. Ah, the noise of good labour!
-Oi, 'ow many killa kans did we loose last time we fought dem 'umies?!, Stuntiekilla asked the Mek.
-None, boss. One of dem kans was immobilissed but I managed to fix dat.
The Mek wiped his hands with a greasy towel. The towel had been white once, but now it was as black as a Gretchin arse. Bronk looked outside the tent, and then turned to Tinkerbell again. He saw two kans, a few deff dreads and his own pride, his custom Stompa, Big Red.
-You count worse den me, you git! Outside deres only two kans! And why is Big Red's Krusha ball still swingin'? Da scrap ended 'ours ago!
-I had an idea fer an improved krusha ball, we lost a few grots in in de proces', but the ball should be better now dan ever!
Bronk took out his binoculars and zoomed in on Big Red Krusha ball. As he suspected, his half mad Mek had strung the last Killa Kan to the Stompa to use as a Krusha Ball.
-Perfect! Dat will show da 'umies who's da boss! Gimme five!
And as the Mekboys hand was approching Bronk's, he realized he had hit the on switch on his powerklaw. There was no time to stop what was going to happen, so Bronk screamed before the Powerklaw hit the Mek's hand;
-Painboy! Get over 'ere! We need a replacement arm!
***
The vision he had had last night had been terrible. But comforting at the same time. Entragian was now sure that he would secure vital clues tomorrow. According to the vision, help would arrive. Help he could only dream of. Father Nurgle must really favour him, by sending such a gift. The battle would be hard, but the archives will be his by the end of the next day. That he was certain of! Before him, once again, Thermopylae. Now in ruins, hammered by Hell Talons and Manticore strikes, burning, charred. It was a delight to see the Emperor’s buildings razed and on fire. Esenie X would die, not necessarily by Entragian’s hand, but by the Tyranids. Time was short and he needed the archives badly.
***
The Orks deployed in their usual fashion: it was a race between them to get to the enemy first, so their transports tried to block each other, while the riders screamed and hit each other. Shots were fired and several Orks were killed by their own during deployment! Entragian shook his head. If the Orks could somehow combine their battle lust with some kind of unity, they would be almost unstoppable. Three Stompas were staggering forward, bristling with firepower. They would hold The Black Ravens nicely, he thought. Now, let’s concentrate on the bunker straight ahead. According to the vision, the bunker was the key. There it was, whatever they were looking for. Entragian felt a tension building up. He was closer now than ever before. He glanced to his right and saw Androis deploy his army in the ruined outskirts of Thermopylae. If they could hold both flanks, the path would be open to the bunker. He had confidence in Androis, it was an able man. His army had fought on Vraks and the soldiers were veterans, used to dig in and defend like cornered Ambulls. Now, time has come, Entragian thought, let’s do this!
***
Kharak advanced quickly with his Berzerkers. His daemonweapon was as eager as always and hard to control. But there were no enemies before him. Kharak was disappointed. He wanted to kill, he needed to kill! Just before him and his Berzerkers, a squad of Thousand Sons were advancing. He looked at them with suspicion and disgust. Just caskets, filled up with sorcery, he thought. Not real soldiers at all! He would show those “spirits” how to fight. The he saw the Imperial tanks moving towards him. Three huge tanks with their barrels all pointing at him. He didn’t have time to scream before they opened fire. The Brass Scorpion roared its defiance, but vanished in huge ball of fire. That was not the end of the carnage. Everything around Kharak became a burning hell. Bodies, limbs and heads were flying around him and when the fire got to him, the disappointment was too much to bear. He would die in an explosion! Him, a Khorne warrior! His last emotion was of huge embarrassment and then he was vaporized along with his Berzerkers… but at least the ghostly Thousand Sons joined him in death…
***
Entragian didn’t believe his eye. The whole right flank but the guardsmen and a couple of Obliterators had ceased to exist! Imperial tanks! Again! Oh, how he would enjoy the end of the Imperium and their false and tragic excuse for a leader. Now time was of utmost importance. Entragian could feel how teleporting troops stepped through the warp. The Deep Striking Black Templars were about to envelope his right flank by a joint attack with a squad of Wolf Scouts. Androis won’t stand a chance he thought, as he turned his head to the left, but if Androis can hold out just a little… At least the Orks were advancing and driving The Black Ravens back. But an imminent threat had emerged behind the Stompas. Entragian voxed the sorcerer Selena, mistress of Deadly Pleasure and pointed at some newly arrived Black Raven jump troops. He then made a chopping gesture, thumbs up and then moved on towards the bunker. Oh, it was close. He almost had it in his grasp.
***
Selena smiled. Now it’s time to have fun! She concentrated hard and raised both her arms towards the Black Raven jump troops. They were lifted up in the air, screaming. She then pulled back her arms and the pushed them forward again. The jump troops hit the wall of a ruined chapel, some of the jump troops breaking the necks and spines. The remnants picked themselves up and started to move again. She did her trick once more and the unfortunate jump troops hit the wall again. More death following. Ah, Selena thought, the pleasure of a good, fun kill…
***
Bonk Stuntiekilla roared and swung his choppa. Finally his boyz did what they did best. Screaming and killing ‘umies. This was life! And the stinking ‘umies fell back after a wonderful tank shock by the Battlewagons. Oh, sheer joy! The Black Ravens wavered. Only problem was that the Stompas had ground to a halt. The Black Templars had seen to that and for that they had to pay. Bronk looked towards the bunker in the middle and saw that ugly green-clad loser get into trouble. That meant more problems for his boyz…
-Chaaarge, yer stinkin’ squig piss! Chaaarge! Let ‘em ‘ave it!!!
Bronk was frenzied. Before him came a large black marine, waving a large powerfist. Bronk looked for an opportunity and then flung himself onto the Black Raven marine. The marine easily stepped back and let Bronk use his full force to fall forward. The Ork Warboss landed heavily and was pierced by a gigantic branch that sprouted out from a root.
-No, stoopid! No…
Bronk sensed that he was in deep squig shit and then all was black as the marine tore off Bronk’s head with his powerfist.
***
Lord Entragian was worried. Things were going too wrong too fast. But all was not lost. One squad of his Plague Marines was almost out of the bunker with a large file cupboard – they’ve found it! Then suddenly the bunker was gone in an explosion and all that was left when the smoke lifted was pile of rubble and dead Plague Marines. The file cupboard lay flipped on the side within reach of a squad of Black Templar Terminators. This could not be true, Entragian thought. This is not happening. Not now, not when I am so close… He prayed for help, reaching out to Father Nurgle. Begging for help. It was time. Now, help must arrive. Or else all is lost. Entragian went down on his knees, neglecting the immediate danger around him and prayed quickly to Nurgle. Then he was reassured, as one of the Plague Marines started to scream and twist. Entragian rose and pointed at the file cupboard, now in the hands of The Black Templars. The Plague Marine twisted more and started to crack. A foul smell came, even foul by Entragian’s standards. The body of the former Plague Marine started to swell, more and more and very quickly. Then, in a green cloud exploding out from the chest and head, a large, huge, creature stepped out. Roaring and laughing at the same time. It was the foulest thing Entragian have ever seen. It was a mirror of Father Nurgle himself. A mirror so perfect ... and deadly!
-Scabeiathrax! it roared. Scabeiathrax!!
The Greater Daemon of Nurgle immediately swung his rusty sword towards the Black Templars, who now was in panic. Aiding this was a couple of Killa-Kans and a Deff-Dredd. The Black Templar Terminators stood no chance and were butchered. Scabeiathrax carefully took the file cupboard, tiny in his huge hand, and threw it back to Lord Entragian. It grinned towards him and pointed past Entragian in the direction where they had deployed from. Entragian knew that it was time to leave this battlefield. He had what he came for. At a terrible price, no doubt, his army was all but destroyed, but he had the cupboard! By Nurgle, he had it!
***
Lord Entragian of Nurgle shivered with excitement. Before him, laid up on a table on his ship “Entragian”, was a cupboard. His aide had just opened it with a little bit of force and swung the doors open.
-Lift it out, aide! Careful! Careful! Do you know how long I have waited for this. The missing piece in a puzzle… the clue to so many fates and destinies! Open it! Read it to me! I want to hear every word! Read it!!
Entragian was almost fainting with excitement. The aide took out a book. Ancient looking with an old binding and a small padlock. The padlock was easily opened and the aide opened the book. He panted at first, then… nothing…
-What’s wrong with you, aide? Read it ! Read it!!! Entragian could hardly hold himself together.
-My Lord… maybe we should… the aide hesitated.
-READ IT!!!! Entragian lifted his poweraxe. The aide sighed and realized that his time has come to “move on”. He cleared his throat and started to read;
-To my little munchkin Lippi-Pippi Glossy-Flossy: a love recipe to make you long even more… yours truly… Teddybear! Uhmm… Sweet Potato Pie… ehrmm… 4 large potatoes, 2 cups sugar, 1 stick butter, 1 pinch cinnamon, 1 pinch nutme…
-Stop! Idiot!! Stop!!! What are you doing? Read me the text from the book, idiot, the clue, the puzzle, read it! Not that mumbo-jumbo potato thing…
Entragian swung his axe, severing the head from the poor aide.
-Where’s my clue? Where’s my puzzle? I thought… I’ve been fooled! I’ve been fooled! I’ve been fooled! Aaaargghh…
Entragian collapsed on the floor in his quarters on his spaceship “Entragian”. Nobody dared to wake him…
_______________________________________________________
Written by Tony Melander & Martin Persson (2010)