This can't possibly work, Allen thought to himself as he and the Merry Men climbed out of Robin Hood's fleet of SUVs, about a block away from the cathedral. The cars were all a few years old, but there were enough for the whole gang. Robin glanced at him and said, "Come now, Allen, don't give up before we've begun." Little John, Nick Miller, and another man named Will Scarlet gathered around as the other men found posts around the cathedral.

"This rescue," Robin said as he switched toothpicks, "doesn't require force so much as charm, stealth and subterfuge."

"They why did you bring all these criminals?" Allen griped. He was grateful for the help, but now that he was actually outside the church, he was feeling nervous. He'd enlisted the help of gangsters to get his girlfriend back; maybe he'd gotten more than he bargained for.

"Better to have them and not need them," the gangster said flippantly, not seeming to care that Allen had interrupted him. Robin Hood put on a pair of shades then turned to the foursome. "Now, here's the plan..."

---

A few minutes later, Robin Hood entered the church, carrying a guitar case. Allen, Nick, Scarlet, and Little John were going in after Robin--posing as guests. Robin strolled past the moderately-filled pews and found the priest waiting by the altar, while the other men snuck in and found seats in the back.

"Good afternoon, Padre," he said, a bright smile on his face, though the pinched expression on the fat priest's face made him want to punch the man. "Lovely day for a wedding, innit?"

"Who are you?" The priest bristled at his familiar tone.

"I'm the musician for these nuptials, if you could point me to where I am to sit?" he said, smoothly indicating his guitar case.

The priest's expression softened in realization and, suddenly, he was amenable. "Of course, right this way, sir." He led the gangster to an alcove by the stage. "You're a bit late, so perhaps you should begin immediately."

Robin placed his guitar case in front of the chair and threw himself into the seat before propping his legs up on the case and fixing the priest with a bored but steely expression.

"I don't play until I see the happy couple," he said with a shrug. The priest was about to reply in indignation but the doors at the back of the sanctuary swung open and in walked a beautiful girl in a long white dress. The fifty-or-so guests turned to see, and so did Robin Hood. She had auburn hair, piled into a curly up-do and a held in place with a tiara. She was flanked by two blonde women in long pink dresses, and carrying a lovely bouquet of irises. But her makeup was smudged and her eyes were a bit red, like she'd been crying.

Robin took all this in, and then turned toward the altar where the groom was waiting. He was...well, he was certainly not a match for the beautiful woman uncomfortably waiting for the precession music to begin. He was older, with stringy gray hair combed over a bald spot and wrinkled hands.

"Is that the groom?" Robin asked the increasingly exasperated priest, indicating the man before them.

"Indeed, and now you've seen the bride as well. So let's begin--" Robin Hood flung up a hand to stop the priest talking. He grabbed his guitar case and went to stand behind the pulpit, leaning on it ever so casually as he waved the bride to the front of the room. When she arrived, he said:

"Darling, you must have some inkling of how lovely you are. Why would you marry a man so..." he floundered for the right word as the guests gasped at his audacity. "...gross?" he finished, unencumbered by the discomfort of the wedding-goers.

She looked confused but said softly, "My father is forcing me."

Robin regarded her with pity. "Well, that simply won't do. A lady should be free to choose her own love. Don't you agree sir?" he said, raising his voice to address the bride's father. The man simply scoffed in reply. Robin Hood smirked back at him.

"Anyway, I believe I was meant to play a light, romantic tune for this ceremony," he said, reaching down to open his guitar case. "I'm sorry to admit I'm not so musically inclined. But don't worry, I have other talents," he said with a wink as he put two fingers in his mouth and whistled for his men, and then pulled an automatic rifle from his case.

Wedding guests panicked and some stood to head for the exits, but with Nick and Will standing in front of the side doors, and Little John blocking the back, there was nowhere to run. Robin fired a few times into the air, and soon all was silent.

"Why are you here?" the bride whispered, more tears springing to her eyes.

"To reunite you with your true love, of course," Robin said kindly, with a mad grin on his face. He nodded to the back, where Allen had come to stand by Little John.

"Allen!" she cried, running down the aisle and leaping into his arms.

"Now, Padre," the gangster said, turning to the priest. "You're going to marry these two crazy kids instead."

But the priest was a prickly one. "I'll do no such thing!" he harrumphed.

Robin Hood just grinned, a sly look coming over his face. "I was hoping you'd say that."

Soon Little John was in the priest's robe and collar, and he stood before the congregation ready to marry Allen and his girl, seeing as the actual clergyman was gagged and tied next to the father-of-the-bride and the would-be groom. Nick stood guard over the naysayers and Scarlet, who as it turns out, was musically-inclined, played the precession on the church organ. Robin Hood walked the girl down the aisle, up to where Little John and Allen A. Dale were waiting. The audience had quickly gotten on board with the change of plans, maybe in part due to the comical appearance of the giant gangster in the priest's clothing.

"Who gives this woman away?" Little John said, grinning and preening in his position of officiant.

"I do," said Robin Hood, before handing her off to Allen so that they could kneel before the altar. "And if anyone," he said, fixing he father with a deadly glare, "tries to interfere with their lives together, they'll answer to the Merry Men. And trust me," he said, his eyes glinting in the light as he the toothpick from between his lips, "we are not always so merry."

The wedding took place, no one objected, and the bride and groom danced together all night--their contentment all the more welcome after all the excitement of the day. Allen looked at his love and felt a surge of gratitude for the outlaw and his friends. He knew that his new wife felt it too.

And somehow, Robin Hood must have known, because he winked only once and went with his men back to Sherwood Park.