My Cookie

     Overtime was relative, the same as any other form of time that passed through the time recorders of the Time Balance Department. One might spend a forty-hour work week overseeing the occurrences of a particular millisecond. One might also accidentally resolve the parallel time divergences of an entire eon within a thirty-minute lunch break. It was why the TBD was so strict about its employees keeping to their schedules. After all, how could cookies maintain the flow of countless timestreams if they couldn’t keep track of their own time?

     Such were the thoughts of Baguette Cookie when she entered the Time Registry Department, her corner of the TBD, only to find Coffee Candy Cookie sleeping on her desk. The novice employee’s toffee top hat had fallen over her face, and behind it came the faint murmurings of some nonsensical dream.

     With a sigh, Baguette Cookie strode past the glowing screens and shiny printers that filled the office and gave Coffee Candy Cookie’s shoulder a firm shove.

     “Chapter 2, Section 12! Staff must always work diligently!” Coffee Candy Cookie shouted, snapping to attention.

     “Yes. That is correct.” Baguette Cookie adjusted her glasses. "Though, despite knowing the TRD’s instructions, it seems you still struggle to put them into practice.”

     “Wha…but I was…” Coffee Candy Cookie’s head spun wildly as she took in her surroundings. “O-oh…I see…sorry!”

     “I believe your shift was scheduled to end an hour ago. And I shouldn’t need to explain that sleeping on the job— “

     “No! No! I didn’t mean to fall asleep! I was working! I promise! I just… I was struggling with this one divergence.”

     Baguette Cookie sighed again.

     “Then you should have called for me right away. I told you to ask if you had any questions or concerns.”

     “Sorry, Baguette Cookie.” Coffee Candy Cookie hung her head. “But... I started reviewing it, and... well, it was just so interesting! So…different!”

     Coffee Candy Cookie shoved aside the loose papers on her desk and fished out her trusty notepad.

     “We’re supposed to mark down any occurrences with cookies that are L-Class or higher and report them for the director’s inspection. So, I was doing that, but then... it kept sounding more and more strange! So many unfamiliar instances and names... I thought, maybe I was missing something.”

     Baguette Cookie took the notepad and began carefully scanning the pages. The L-Class cookie in question was Dark Enchantress Cookie, a cruel and powerful cookie who actively threatened Earthbread with her dark magic and evil minions. Baguette Cookie was well aware of why such a cookie required strict surveillance (though members of the TBD weren’t permitted to make personal judgments). Like all cookies who were regularly monitored, Baguette Cookie spotted several familiar terms in Coffee Candy Cookie’s notes. There was Licorice Cookie, Dark Magic, Revenge, Pomegranate Cookie, the Witches, True purpose, Beast Cook-

     Beast Cookies?

     The more Baguette Cookie read, the fewer words she recognized. Phrases like “new experiment," "faerie," and “revival” popped out like corn in a hot pan.

     “This divergence is from Alternate Reality–Gamma…”

     Though Baguette Cookie had faintly murmured the words, Coffee Candy Cookie’s ears were sharp.

     “Oh! So, it is an unusual timestream?”

     “Not precisely.” Baguette Cookie continued to review the notes as she spoke. “A reality is a collection of timestreams that align with a certain set of laws and capstone events. Timestreams from other realities are incapable of intersecting, even with TBD technology. It would require an immense amount of power to even see the timestreams of another reality.”

     Coffee Candy Cookie tilted her head in confusion, but Baguette Cookie kept talking.

     “Currently, the TBD’s jurisdiction only covers Alternate Reality-Beta, the Ovenbreak Reality. This occurrence is under Alternate Reality-Gamma, otherwise known as the Kingdoms Reality.”

     “Wait! Wait!” Coffee Candy Cookie waved her hand. “If we can’t even see other realities, then how do you know about them? And why is this divergence even here!?”

     “For the former, I received a general overview from the director." Before Coffee Candy Cookie could ask more, Baguette Cookie handed back the notebook. “But the latter is the issue. A divergence such as this has no reason to appear on your shift or anyone else’s shift. It shouldn’t have been captured by our time recorders at all.”

     Baguette Cookie reached past Coffee Candy Cookie and began briskly typing at the keyboard. Coffee Candy Cookie watched as the Time Recorder paused its current scan. The digital clock that kept track of her place down to the zeptosecond suddenly whirled backwards at top speed.

     “Here it is.” Baguette Cookie hit a large button twice. Mechanical creeks erupted from the nearby printer as a long sheet of paper came pouring out of it. Even though it was still printing, Baguette Cookie lifted one end of the floor and set it on the desk. “Now to review...”

     “Review?” Coffee Candy Cookie scooted over as Baguette Cookie sat down. It was cramped on the tiny velvet cushion, but neither cookie noticed. “You’re going to read the whole thing?”

     “We both are.” Said Baguette Cookie. “There’s a chance the timestream corrected itself during processing, so I need you to ensure this is the same record you originally viewed. I’ll handle your overtime payment personally. Will you be up to the task?”

     There was fire in Coffee Candy Cookie’s eyes. She twirled her pen between her fingers and flipped her notebook to a fresh page.

     “Of course!”

     Baguette Cookie gave the ghost of a smile to the eager employee before sternly readying herself to read.

     “Divergence Instance: Year two-zero-two-four, Month zero-three, Day one-three, Hour one-two, Minute zero-zero, Second zero-zero, Instant rounded to seven-five-six. Divergence Location: Beneath the badlands of alternate contentment, Beast Yeast, in a confidential laboratory. Divergence Summary: Moments before creating a potentially perfect cookie, an infuriated tea-based cookie attempts to destroy the experiment before it can be completed.”

═══════════

     “Matcha Cookie, stop!!!”

     Poison Mushroom Cookie’s plea was barely audible over the explosions. Tea seeds were flying around the laboratorium like angry hornets, and every place they struck, disaster followed.

     BOOM! A massive machine burst into flames.

     BOOM! Measuring cups shattered, sending glass shards hurtling through the air.

     BOOM! The researcher cookies screamed and scattered. Their instincts were split between taking cover and protecting the bowls and beakers that contained months of valuable research; their choice wasn’t made fast enough. Three seeds pelted into a massive beaker and where they struck, the glass gave way.

     "Oh no! There's a crack in the beaker...!” A frightened researcher wailed as he ducked behind a barricade of flour bags. “There's Life Powder seeping out!!!”

     “Stop it! NOW!”

     Butter Roll Cookie didn’t wait for the researcher’s response. He leapt over the glass shards and swatted the next onslaught of seeds away with his giant scarlet whisk. They bounced off the ground, hesitated, then took off to the sound of a lone cookie’s mad cackles. Exactly what Matcha Cookie was muttering between laughs was impossible to make out with all the explosions, but each time she raised her staff, the flying seeds grew more and more aggressive.

     “What is wrong with that cookie…!?” Pomegranate Cookie’s murmurs were far less secretive. She wielded her hand mirror like a racket, smacking the seeds with the back end and using dark magic to douse the explosions.

     “Hey! HEY!” Licorice Cookie yelped from under a broken table. “The Life Powder is pouring into the mixer! Batch #100 is still in there!”

     “WHAT?!”

     Pomegranate Cookie glanced over her shoulder. Where there was once a hairline crack, the pressure has caused it to expand. Glistening powder was now pouring into the mixing bowl.

     “That dough needs to stay protected from the Life Powder!” She tried to move, but a huge swarm of seeds kept her in place. “Butter Roll Cookie, stop that beaker from leaking!”

     “On it! I can stop it, easy-peasy!!!” With a bright smile, Butter Roll Cookie scooped a wad of dough off the ground and smoothed it over the beaker. The cookie flesh pulsed in the gap, oozing as it tried and failed to absorb the energy of the life power before finally settling into place.

     “Guys! GUYS!”

     Licorice Cookie frantically pointed back to Matcha Cookie. Her staff was raised high the air and above it was a massive glowing tea seed.

     “mmmmmmHEEHEEHEE! Teach you…teach you all...no chutes! NONE! Heh heh…HEEEEEEEE!”

     “Matcha Cookie! Stop!”

     “Enough of this foolishness!”

     Butter Roll Cookie and Pomegranate Cookie rushed forward. Licorice Cookie trembled beneath the table. Poison Mushroom Cookie watched in awe.

     “Whoooaaaaaaaa! Soooo pretty!”

     “Don’t compliment her!” Licorice Cookie yelped.

     “HEHEHEHEHeeeeeee!” Matcha Cookie’s grin stretched across her face. Her beady eyes glowed as green as her magic. “You watch! This…you’ll see! I’ll never-“

     WHAM!

     Something huge collided with Matcha Cookie’s side. Her magic vanished as she was sent flying across the room.

     “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

     Butter Roll Cookie and Pomegranate Cookie froze mid-step as Matcha Cookie slammed into a nearby wall. She hung for a second before slowly sliding to the ground in a heap. The last few flying seeds fell harmlessly to the ground.

     “WA HA HA! How do you like that?! Those puny seeds don’t mean much against BRUTE Strength!”

     Schwarzwälder slung his hammer over his shoulder with a laugh.

     “Schwarzwälder!?” Licorice Cookie crawled out from his hiding place, as did several researcher cookies. “When did you get here!?”

     The werehound frowned at his name but drove off the irritation with a shake of his head.

     “Just did! I finished my patrol of the area early. Not a cookie or a faerie for miles! Must be having another party. So I came back early!” He grinned, showing off rows of pearly white fangs. “Good thing I did! You guys looked pretty helpless!”

     “H-hey! I wasn’t…I was just uh…p-protecting these researchers! Yeah! That’s what I was doing!” Licorice turned to the researcher cookies, but each one took a deliberate step away from him.

     “Truly admirable. Truly…” Pomegranate Cookie hissed. “Now then, if you are all done boasting and cowering, I would suggest someone restrain Matcha Cookie.”

     The cookie in question was already attempting to scuttle off, biting her lip to keep from yelping as she hobbled forward. The impact from the hammer strike forced her to use her staff as a walking stick. She was surrounded immediately.

     “MMMPH! Go away! Hmmm! Go! OWIE!” When she tried to raise her staff, Matcha Cookie tumbled helplessly to the ground. Poison Mushroom Cookie pounced upon it and held it up like a flag.

     “Got it! Yaaaaay!”

     “Heeeeyyy! Grrrrrr…give it back! Mine! It’s…mine!” Her feeble swipes were swiftly foiled when Schwarzwälder lifted her in the air with a single claw. She hung like a soggy kitten with a quivering pout. “Meh! Pschh! Pschhhhhhh!”

     "Don’t ‘Pschh’ us! Just look at this mess!” Licorice Cookie held his hands out to what remained of the laboratorium. Half of it was still on fire. The other half was awash with bent beaters, splintered spoons, shattered cups, and wads of lifeless dough. Matcha Cookie didn’t respond. She just clenched eyes shut and crossed her arms.

     “Petulant child.” Pomegranate Cookie spat. “Why our master is so tolerant of your mischief, I may never understand. Do you truly have no concept of the importance of the experiments you nearly ruined? Because of you, we have wasted a significant amount of life powder. And just as we were so close to finishing.”

     “Neeeeeh!” Matcha Cookie snarled. “You….always sooo bossy! So special…hmph! Well, heh heh heh…I don’t care! Go...burn in the oven! OWIE!”

     Schwarzwälder gave her dangling form a harsh shake.

     “Want me to rough this cookie up a bit?”

     “No…only our master may impart punishment. For now, put her away while the useless cookies clean up this mess.”

     “Hey!” Licorice Cookie balled his fists. “I told you! I was protecting the researchers! What part of that was useless?”

     “I did not say you were useless.” Pomegranate Cookie raised her mirror, hiding her mouth from view. “But thank you for volunteering.”

     Licorice Cookie looked ready to blow a gasket. Poison Mushroom Cookie gave him a pat on the back.

     “Hey. It’s ok…we can have some more fun together. Cleaning up is fun! Aaaand maybe, we can have shoomies after we’re done!”

     Licorice Cookie groaned.

     “You’re too happy about everything, you know that!? You-“

     A sudden cry split through their banter. It wasn’t angry, bitter, annoyed, or even hurt. The sound was weak, but piercing, small yet forceful.

     “What was that noise?” Pomegranate Cookie looked to the others. “Was that one of you shrieking?”

     "I don’t shriek like that! Why would I even be shrieking right now!?” Licorice Cooke snapped. “It almost…sounded like…”

     The crying began again, now clearly coming from the laboratorium’s giant mixer. The beater had been bent during the fight; the bowl was cracked straight down the side. Butter Roll Cookie was already hanging over the edge with his legs dangling behind him. As quickly as he climbed up, he tumbled inside.

     The crying stopped. One by one, cake and cookies approached the bowl

     "Butter Roll Cookie?” Pomegranate Cookie hesitated.

     “Butter Roll Cookie, is something…in there?"

     “Hey! Don’t just leave us in suspense!” Licorice Cookie shouted from behind Schwarzwälder.

     What answered was laughter, the most boisterous laughter any of them had ever heard.

     "Director!” One of the researcher cookies finally ran forward. “What is it? Is it the dough? Did something happen to it?”

     Without any effort, Butter Roll Cookie heaved himself back out of the bowl. Everything about him was bursting: his eyes were full of stars, his voice was full of passionate pride, and his hair and arms were full of the dough he had dove into. Licorice Cookie fought not to gag.

     “Well everyone! This is a historic day!” With another hearty laugh, he raised a wad of dough high above his head. “May I present to you all…my cookie!”

     Everyone gasped.

     The dough was still wet and dripping, clearly underbaked, but it was no lifeless blob. This thing had a short, stubby little body with nubs where the arms and legs should be. Its head was bulbous, dotted with tiny chocolate sprinkle eyes and a half open hole of a mouth. In Butter Roll Cookies hands, its stomach rose and fell as it breathed. Its cheeks swelled into round doughy puffs. With a great heave, it began to wail once again.

     The researcher cookies broke into passionate applause.

     “It’s so beautiful! A fully functioning cookie!”

     “Is it really a cookie with the perfect ratio? I thought that attack would have ruined the dough!"

     “Director you’re amazing! This is massive breakthrough in cookie science!”

     “Thank you. Thank you all, but don’t forget to applaud yourselves! This was a team effort!” Butter Roll Cookie carefully tucked the little bawling baby into his oven mitted arm. “Really if we should be celebrating anyone, it’s Matcha Cookie!”

     “Muh-muh-muh….me?” Matcha Cookie stared dumbstruck at what she had created.

     “Yes! After all our failed attempts at merging the raw life powder with the dough, your tea leaf attacks have somehow enabled the dough to accept the powder!” Butter Roll Cookie reached out and shook Matcha Cookie’s dangling arm with the intensity of a jackhammer. “Thank you, Matcha Cookie! I knew you’d be the key to all this! Just look at what we’ve created! This may very well be the perfect cookie!”

     He held the baby dough up for her to see. The baby stopped crying.

     “Puh-puh-puh...perfect?” Matcha Cookie stared back. “No...NO NO NO!”

     Suddenly she began flailing in Schwarzwälder’s grip. He pulled her away at the same time Butter Roll Cookie pulled back the baby dough, but Matcha Cookie continued to swipe at the air.

     “Noooooo! No chute! Hmmmmmm! I’ll…I’ll crumble it! Burn it! Curse it! I’ll…I’ll throw that perrrrrfect cookie….down the chute! DOWN THE CHUTE”

     "Take that cookie out of here and keep her out!” Pomegranate Cookie ordered. “I will not have her ruining anything else with her hysterics!”

     Schwarzwälder nodded.

     “All right you dinky pest! QUIT SQUIRMING BEFORE I SLAM YOU AGAINST THE WALL AGAIN!”

     The werehound’s threats did nothing to ease Matcha Cookie’s wrath. Even when she was out of sight, her cries rang nearly as loud as the baby dough’s.

     “Hey hey! Calm down, my little cookie! Matcha Cookie was just a little overwhelmed. Nothing to be scared of!” Butter Roll Cookie bounced the baby a few times in his arms, enough to calm the cries down into wheezy coos. “There! That’s-“

     HURK!

     The baby suddenly spat up a massive wad of sparsely mixed dough right into Butter Roll Cookie’s face. Under the harsh laboratory lights, the unblended salt, sugar, and life powder made his face sparkle.

     Licorice Cookie gulped back his own vomit.

     “Butter Roll Cookie…” Pomegranate Cookie raised her eye at the doughy baby. “Is this really the cookie we’ve been working towards? It seems rather…obscene.”

     “Y-yeah! How are you supposed to put a beast cookie in something that gross!?”

     Butter Roll Cookie laughed as he wiped his face clean with his free arm.

     “Don’t tell me none of you have seen a baby dough before?”

     ...

     “Well! Cookies baked by witches and cookies baked by cookies are completely different! Even if we use their tools, witches have access to powerful magics that cookies can only replicate a fraction of. As a result, witch-baked cookies mature immediately and rarely change in physical appearance, excluding cosmetics and certain highly magical circumstances. Meanwhile, cookie-baked cookies must develop over a longer period of time. Which means you begin with THIS!”

     Once again, he held up the baby dough for all to see. The baby’s head flopped backwards, leading to another round of tears.

     “Awwww. Don’t cry little baby….” Poison Mushroom Cookie scuttled forward, a mushroom in hand. “Here! I got something reeeeally special for you! A shrooooomie!”

     The shroomie was inches away from the dough baby’s open mouth before Butter Roll Cookie yanked the baby back.

     “I appreciate the enthusiasm, Poison Mushroom Cookie! Always appreciate the enthusiasm! But cookie babies are extremely malleable and delicate at this stage! Even the smallest addition to their dough could have major effects on their development! Nothing but a strict diet of fortified milk for this tyke!”

     “So, what you’re saying is there is a chance this…thing might not even be a suitable host, if left uncared for?” Pomegranate Cookie peered at the floppy baby, now gasping for air between wails. “How long does it usually take?”

     “It could be a few weeks, a few months…maybe a few years! There’s no way to know exactly, and you can’t rush the process.”

     “Yes… and we cannot compromise the results with hastiness.”

     As Butter Roll Cookie bounced the baby a few more times, Pomegranate Cookie let out a long, low sigh.

     “Then, for the time being, we must tend to it until it we see if it is a suitable vessel for the beast cookies. I will inform our master at once. I trust you can care for it in the meanwhile?”

     “Easy-peasy!” Butter Roll Cookie cuddled the baby in his arm. “Come on, my cookie! Let’s get you cleaned up and fed! I’ve heard coming to life works up a pretty big appetite!”

     “As for the rest of you…” Pomegranate Cookie glared at Poison Mushroom Cookie and Licorice Cookie. “Clean this up.”

     With that, she strode from the room. Licorice Cookie groaned and snapped at the researchers.

     “You heard her! Clean this up!”

     “Yes sir!”

     The researchers set to work like ants, scooping up dough wads and flipping tables upright. Licorice Cookie oversaw the process, or at least, he pretended to while keeping his eyes away from the raw dough. Poison Mushroom Cookie had no such reservations and happily scooped up piles of shattered glass with no care for the cuts they created. Butter Roll Cookie was wiping down the baby dough with a clean cloth, cooing and making faces all the while.

     That just left Affagato Cookie watching the whole thing from a safe distance. He’d only just stepped into the laboratorium to see what all the fuss was about. Between the war-torn appearance of the lab and the new appearance of a bawling infant, he had even less of an idea of what was going on than before.

     “Perhaps I’ll ask later.”

     Then he turned and walked right back the way he came.

     After the Cookies of Darkness lost their hold on the Vanilla Kingdom, their only choice was to leave Earthbread entirely. The continent of Beast-Yeast was hostile to invaders with its mix of moist climates, cookienivorous monsters, and parasitic spores that could overrun a cookie’s body before they even had a chance to scream. Thankfully, there was very little need for the cookies to stay on the surface at all. Their base was built miles beneath the surface, beginning with the empty burrows of the tanghulu-gora and ending with mounds of dark magic to reinforce the tunnels. The result was a completely hidden base with enough space to house a state-of-the-art laboratory, a potion brewery, a mess hall and kitchen, a treasury that would make a durian pirate jealous, and even personal quarters for every cookie (prisoners excluded). Given what they were working with, the Cookie of Darkness lived quite comfortably.

     There were minor flaws. During harsh rainstorms, the dirt roofs could leak. Fairies would trek too close, forcing everyone to keep quiet until they left. Once in a while, a spore would sneak in and have to be driven out before it infected someone. Perhaps worse of all though was the lack of sound insulation due to the magical reinforcements. When something was loud, it was very loud, and everyone would hear it.

     And since that day, about two weeks ago, the base had been much, much louder.

     “Agh! The dough is still rising! Why is it still rising!?”

     “I swear I followed the formula exactly this time!”

     “Shut the oven! Quick! QUICK!”

     One of the researchers threw himself in front of the oven. The door slammed shut, cutting off chunks of dough. However, these dough blobs began to swell until they were as big and round as balloons.

     “WHY ARE THEY STILL RISING!?”

     “Maybe it’s too warm in the lab? I’ll get some ice!”

     The researcher ran for the nearby lab freezer and flung the door open. The door smacked into the table and spilled a bottle of transparent liquid.

     “That was my sucralose solution!” Another researcher wailed.

     “Why was it so close to the freezer door!?”

     “Why did you open the freezer like that!?”

     “I! Don’t! Know!”

     “GUYS! PLEASE!” Even though oven was still bursting with dough, the researcher kept pressing it back with all his might. Even as the dough blobs on the ground began to engulf his feet.

     “Don’t act like you’re in charge here!”

     “Well, you're certainly not the boss of me!”

     “I’m the most qualified! I’m the only one of us who’s actually graduated!”

     "Oh, enough about your diploma! What has it ever done but give you a big ego?”

     “WOULD ONE OF YOU GET OVER HERE AND HELP!?“

     The arguing researchers turned their heads. Their coworker was slowly being engulfed from behind by the swelling dough. His glasses clattered to the ground as the blob sucked in his head, hiding his screams behind a rippling mask of cookie flesh. Forgetting their squabble, the remaining researchers dove for his hands. The dough blob pulled back, locking the cookies in a vicious tug of war.

     “Come on! Pull harder!”

     “On the count of three! Three! Two!”

     “You’re supposed to count backwards for the count of three!”

     “Fine! One-two-THREE!”

     The cookies threw back their weight as hard as possible. Finally, the researcher cookie emerged, and the trio tumbled to the ground in a heap. Now that there was no one to guard the oven, the dough burst past the doors. A massive wave of ooze formed above them. The researchers clung to one another.

     “AHHHHHHH!”

     “AHHHHHHH!”

     “I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LEFT COLLEGE!”

     With their eyes clenched shut and their ears filled with their own screams, they had no way to see the scarlet glow that had frozen the dough in its tracks. It took a full minute for them to realize they were not about to be buried alive and another to see where the magic was coming from.

     “Pomegranate Cookie!”

     Their grateful cheers didn’t mesh well with the icy stare of their savior. With a flick of her mirror, life evaporated from the dough monster. Like a block of ice beneath the afternoon sun, it melted into a puddle of goo on the laboratorium floor.

     One researcher exhaled in relief. One fished his glasses out of the dough. One scrambled to her feet to face Pomegranate Cookie.

     “I can explain! If I understand what occurred correctly, I believe there was a miscommunication in the ratio for this batch. The life powder had an adverse reaction to an excess amount of yeast in the dough.

     “That’s not it at all!” Another researcher hurried forward. “I added the correct level of yeast! It was exactly according to Butter Roll Cookie’s instructions! The real issue is that we added too much sugar! There was clearly an excess level of sugar that the yeast consumed too rapidly.

     “Excuse me!?” The third researcher cut in. His glasses were coated in dough. “If you had read Butter Roll Cookie’s instructions completely, you would know we were supposed to increase the sugar level for the experiment! It is obvious that the salt levels are what created this imbalance in the rising process.

     “Butter Roll Cookie said salt was crucial! Otherwise, the flavor would have been imbalanced! You’re the one who should have read the instructions properly!”

     Just like that, all three of the researchers were bickering with their legs half-buried in the mess they had created. Pomegranate Cookie glanced at a sign in the far back of the room: a chalkboard that had been updated just that morning to read.

     DAYS SINCE LAST ACCIDENT: 1

     Now it would need to be set to 0, just as it had been the day before. And the day before that. And the day before that...

     Pomegranate Cookie turned on her heel and left the laboratorium and its worthless researchers. She didn’t bother to close the heavy metal doors behind her as she turned down the corridor. Her steps were brisk. The earthen walls past in a blur, her gaze squarely fixed on the path ahead. A left, a left, a right, a left, another right, a tunnel that u-turned—it was all built to slow any possible intruders, but she knew the route by heart. Even if she had not, however, she would have found the room easily. One only needed to follow the faint wails that rippled through the foundation until they led to the door. With a flick of her hand, she threw it open and released the full brunt of the infant’s cries.

     “Pomegranate Cookie! Look! Look at my cookie!”

     Butter Roll Cookie lay on his stomach, his face inches away from screaming baby dough. Weeks after creation, the baby’s nubs had extended into miniature arms and legs. The sprinkle eyes had expanded, showing the hint of candy buttons beneath. A tiny hair sprung up, and the flesh had hardened into a weak cookie crust. The baby was lying in the same manner as Butter Roll Cookie, screaming as they pushed off the ground with tiny arms. For a few seconds, the baby took on a crawling position, then fell back to the ground and screamed into the carpet.

     “Look! It’s only been a few weeks, and my cookie is already preparing to crawl! Most cookies take months to reach this level of development! You know, I had my doubts at first, I won’t lie, but I really think this little guy might be the pinnacle of cookie creation! I’ve been running tests on its dough and discovered the concentration of life powder has actually increased over time! My cookie wants to live! It’s a little fighter!”

     Again, the baby’s front end rose, only for a hand to slip on a carpet wrinkle.

     “I still haven’t been able to pinpoint the exact reason the life powder accepted this dough, but I’m sure we’ll reach a breakthrough soon! I’ve had the other researchers running experiments in my absence, so we’ll be able to replicate the remnants of this particular batch for–“

     Pomegranate Cookie cleared her throat.

     “Yes. Those experiments are precisely what I came to speak to you about.” Her gaze drifted around the room. Once a prison cell, the space had become a second laboratorium with enough lab notes and dough samples to overload a dozen laboratories. The newest additions to the clutter—baby bottles, blankets, and crudely-made raddles—peeked out from the disarray. “I assume you have been at least somewhat aware of their recent failings.”

     “Oh, of course! But it’s not an experiment without a few happy accidents.” Butter Roll Cookie waved his hand, his eyes still fixed on the struggling baby. “Personally, I’m proud they’ve managed so well without me!”

     “A few ‘happy accidents’ would be acceptable.” Pomegranate cookies sniffed. “But their daily catastrophes are beginning to border on absurd. It is obvious these researchers require your leadership to function.”

     “Aw… you give me too much credit."

     “Then do not consider it credit. Consider it an order.”

     Pomegranate Cookie stepped between Butter Roll Cookie and the baby dough. Butter Roll Cookie finally looked up as she glared down.

     “It appears to me that your excitement over this breakthrough has caused you to lose sight of our goal: the resurrection of the beast cookies.”

     Pomegranate Cookie suddenly flinched. The baby dough had a chubby hand wrapped around the hem of her robe and was pulling it tightly. Butter Roll Cookie chuckled.

     “Even as a perfect cookie, this is only one cookie.” She yanked her robe free, causing the baby to cry louder than ever. “We are in need of five vessels for the five beast cookies. If we cannot recreate the recipe that formed this cookie, our success will be for naught. That is why we are doing this. That is why...”

     Her voice trailed off. Butter Roll Cookie had picked up the baby and was now making silly faces at the whimpering child.

     “That. Is. Why.” Pomegranate Cookie ripped the child from his grip and stared straight into Butter Roll Cookie’s eyes. “We dragged you here in the first place.”

     It was difficult to hold her ground while also holding a crying baby, but Pomegranate Cookie’s glare didn’t waver. Butter Roll Cookie blinked twice. Then he gave a sheepish smirk.

     “Hey now! There’s no need to play the ‘aggressive recruitment’ card! I know my position around here.” He climbed to his feet. “You’re right. I suppose I have been out of the lab for a while, and I wouldn’t mind getting some sleep either. My cookie sure likes its late-night snacks.”

     “I am glad you understand-mmph!” The baby dough’s sudden kicking nearly toppled Pomegranate Cookie over. “How do you get this thing to stop moving?”

     “A combination of gentle movements, positive tone of voice, and light distraction!”

     Pomegranate Cookie held the baby at arm's distance and tried lightly shaking.

     “There, the-“

     The baby screamed even louder. As Pomegranate Cookie steadied her grip, Butter Roll Cookie leaned over and cracked his back.

     “Ahhh, much better! You know, now that I think about it, research shows that diversifying a cookie’s experiences in the preliminary stages leads to a more rounded development. It takes a village to raise a cookie they say. This might be exactly what my cookie needs to grow!”

     “Yes, er, what was that third thing to silence the specimen?”

     “Light distraction!” Butter Roll Cookie scooped up his whisk from the corner and swung it over his shoulder. “Well! I’d better get back to the lab before something blows up. Thanks again, Pomegranate Cookie! I’ll check back this evening.”

     “Er-I…”

     Pomegranate Cookie stood alone in the room, staring as dough bubbles began flowing from the baby’s nostrils.

     “…look. Over there. A door. Be distracted.”

     The baby threw their arms and legs with twice as much fury.

     Pomegranate Cookie stopped. She closed her eyes. She took a long, deep breath.

═══════════

     “And that is why, as of today, all of us will be responsible for the welfare of this specimen.”

     Out of the four individuals Pomegranate Cookie had gathered for this impromptu meeting—three cookies and one werehound—only one of them seemed pleased by the idea.

     “Oh yaaaay! A new friend!” Poison Mushroom Cookie picked up the baby dough…upside-down. “So exciting! We’ll play and eat shroomies! All day long!”

     “I am afraid shroomies are not permitted.” With a grimace, Pomegranate Cookie flipped the baby dough upright so Poison Mushroom Cookie could cuddle properly. “But yes, you will all be expected to care for the specimen and keep it in as positive a state as possible.”

     “But why do I have to take care of this thing!? I’m busy!” Licorice Cookie wailed. “I already have to clean up after everything else around here! And there’s the magic keeping this place together! I have to refresh that all the time! Not to mention I’m practicing my own spells and-

     “And I’m spending the whole day running security at this place! You expect me to do it while taking care of some little runt! I’d like to see one of you scare spores off WITH A BABY STRAPPED TO YA!” Schwarzwälder growled at the cookie baby, who immediately started to cry. “SEE? That's what I'm sayin! CAN’T HIDE WITH THAT KIND OF RACKET!”

     “Regardless, we will all have to contribute in some way. I certainly do not wish to be burdened by such a vulgar creature, but this is what our master’s plan requires. Butter Roll Cookie cannot abandon his research, and we cannot risk losing this specimen.”

     Licorice Cookie and Schwarzwälder cast bitter looks at the baby dough, who was currently sucking on Poison Mushroom Cookie’s hand.

     “Heh heh… that tickles!”

     “Personally, I don’t see what you’re all being so dramatic about. It’s only one tiny cookie. Between the four of you, I’m sure you’ll all be able to manage.”

     “Hey! Don’t you dare count yourself out, Affagato Cookie!” Licorice Cookie jabbed his scythe at Affagato Cookie with a sneer. “You do less around here than any of us! The last time you even left the base was during the attack on the Republic! And even then, Dark Enchantress Cookie’s monsters did most of the work!”

     “Why, that’s only because you’ve all been handling things so well on your own! The last thing I’d wish to do is interrupt the perfect synergy you all have. Rest assured, I’m more than willing to help in any way I can….”

     His voice trailed off as Poison Mushroom Cookie held the baby dough close to his pewter staff. With a faint whimper, the baby’s hands knocked against the jangling purple rings.

     “Oooo! Baby likes your stick!” Poison Mushroom Cookie held the baby dough higher, but Affagato switched the staff to his other hand with a strained laugh.

     “Heheh-however! I have no experience in child rearing whatsoever. The Cacao Kingdom is notorious for its authoritarian style of parenting, which I doubt would suit this little one very well.”

     “It is needless to say that none of us are familiar with raising an infant.” Pomegranate Cookie lowered her eyebrows. “However, this is what our master requires for her plan. We cannot risk the loss of even one possible vessel until Butter Roll Cookie ensures the dough can be replicated. We must all rise to the occasion, for the will of our master.”

     “Yes, yes! Of course!” Affagato Cookie moved his pewter staff again when Poison Mushroom Cookie tried to let the baby dough grab onto it. “And for that matter, where is our dear master? It is strange to be discussing such an important matter without her, hm?”

     “She left to investigate a possible den for one of the great dragons a few days ago-”

     “Which you would know if you ever left your room!” Licorice Cookie flailed his arms. Affagato Cookie merely smiled and lifted his pewter staff far out of Poison Mushroom Cookie’s reach.

     "-and in her absence, she has ordered us to ensure the production of cookie vessels progresses smoothly.” Pomegranate Cookie finished. “Which leads me to one more issue.”

     As her voice grew somber, the disgust and irritation in the room faded. Poison Mushroom Cookie sat down with the baby dough on the floor.

     “While Matcha Cookie has received reprimands for her actions, our master has permitted her to wander the area freely once again. She is, of course, banned from the laboratorium, but she is also banned from making any contact with the specimen. If she attempts to approach the specimen, you are to keep your distance and protect it.”

     “And what if she starts gettin violent? Are we clear to get violent back?” Schwarzwälder spun the handle of his hammer.

     “Not unless it becomes absolutely necessary.” Pomegranate Cookie sighed. “Master wishes to preserve that cookie, as irritating as her presence may be. It is likely Matcha Cookie will simply sulk from the shadows and hide in the sewers, as she has always done, but we must be prepared to act if needed. Are there any questions?”

     “Heeey? Where’d baby go?”

     The baby dough was no longer lying on Poison Mushroom Cookie’s lap. A jolt of panic struck the room as everyone looked left and right, lifting their robes and scanning the ground.

     “WHERE DID THAT RUNT GO!?”

     “Gah! The baby was literally just here!”

     “Poison Mushroom Cookie! I thought you had the specimen!”

     “Baaaaaaby? Where’s baaaaaby!?”

     “Oh dear… Please don’t say it’s gotten dough on my robes.

     There came a tiny sneeze. To their far left was the little baby dough, wiggling a their dough bum in the air as they tried to push forward. Instead, the baby fell over and cried.

     “How did you roll all the way over there!?” Licorice Cookie picked up the baby. “Did someone stick coffee in your dough or something!?”

     The baby screamed.

     “HEY! STOP CRYING RUNT!” Schwarzwälder ordered.

     The baby screamed louder.

     “WHY ISN’T IT WORKING!?”

     “Ulgh… my ears….” Affagato Cookie glanced mournfully at his pewter staff. “Sigh….little one? Over here…”

     When the rings on the staff jingled, the baby’s tears stopped. Little arms reached weakly towards the sound.

     “Yaaaaay! You did it!” Poison Mushroom Cookie cheered. “Now just do that... all day!”

     "Of course! All day…there's nothing I’d rather be doing. Nothing at all.”

     As Affagato Cookie continued to jingle his staff for the baby dough, Pomegranate Cookie felt a faint trickle of relief.

     At least she wouldn’t be the only one suffering.

  After a drawn-out debate over exactly how they were supposed to care for a baby while handling their own responsibilities, the cookies of darkness decided they take turns, rotating between caregivers every two hours. 

First was Poison Mushroom Cookie (with some supervision) … 

     “Baby! Baaaby. Baaaaaby!” Poison Mushroom Cookie waddled down the corridor carrying the little baby dough like a rag doll. The doughy head slumped back and forth with every step they took. “Baby! You’re my new friend, baby!”

     Following close behind was Pomegranate Cookie, her steps smaller than usual to leave space for the young cookie leading the way. 

     “Oh…I love baby! Baby is soooo cute!”

     “You should not refer to it that way.” Said Pomegranate Cookie. “That thing is merely an experiment: a body for the beast cookies and a tool for our master’s ascension.” 

     Poison Mushroom Cookie’s face wrinkled with confusion.

     “But… it’s a baby!” The baby dough was shoved into Pomegranate Cookie’s face. “See? It’s a baby! Baby face…baby tummy…baby hands…”

     “Yes. It certainly looks like a baby.” She recoiled from the line of drool slipping from the baby dough’s mouth. “And it acts like a baby. But there is nothing inside this vessel. It is not alive as we are and should not be treated as such.”

     Poison Mushroom Cookie’s face grew even wrinklier. Pomegranate Cookie rubbed her forehead.

     “Think of it as…a stuffed toy. You recall the plush jelly frog Esterházy gave you last winter?”

     “Yeah! Yeah!” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s head bounced up and down. “He had lots of fluff…but filled him up good! With shrooooomies!”

     “This specimen is like that toy. One day, it will be filled with an ancient cookie and powers beyond our comprehension. However, at the moment, it is as empty as your toy was when you removed the stuffing.”

     “Really? Ohhh…. that’s so sad…” Poison Mushroom Cookie held the baby up for a close look. The tiny, scrunched-eyed face stared blankly back. “Little empty baby…Oh! Oh I know! I’ll fill baby up with shroomies!”

     “Absolutely not!” The order was so harsh that Poison Mushroom Cookie jumped, squeezing the baby dough a bit too hard in the process. Wails echoed in the empty corridors.

     “Ahhh! Shhh baby! Shhhh! I’ll get shroomies! Would you like shroomies?”

     “And this is why you cannot be trusted to watch the specimen alone.” Pomegranate Cookie reached into her robes and pulled out a small silver spoon. “Put this into the specimen’s mouth. Butter Roll Cookie says this will help sooth it.”

     The moment the spoon was in place, the crying stopped. The baby dough’s hands wrapped tightly around the handle, eyes closed as they blissfully sucked on the spoon.

     “It worked!” Poison Mushroom Cookie cheered. “Yaaaay! Baby is happy again!”

     Pomegranate Cookie opened the door to her room: a dimly lit space with a thin mattress on the left, and a stack of scrolls and an incense burner on the right.

     “Now then, I will be on this side of the room divining information for our master. You will sit on my bed and entertain the specimen. Do not disturb me unless there is an emergency.      Do you understand?”

     “Okay.” Poison Mushroom Cookie plopped down on the mattress. The baby dough, still sucking away at the spoon, was plopped into Poison Mushroom Cookie’s lap.

     Satisfied that both cookies were secure for the time being, she prepared her ritual. First, she took one of the incense sticks and lit it inside the cup of the burner. The flame flickered on the end, so bright that it made the room seem darker. A heavy fog of mugwort filled the air, a fragrance as bitter as the memories it awakened. Before those thoughts could linger, Pomegranate Cookie focused on the majestic image of her master and the grand world she was to create. Her thoughts began to fade. Her hand reached mechanically for a scroll. She did not see the words. She did not need to see, only to feel her mouth move with the rhythm of her incantations, waiting for the visions to appear.

     Something clanged. Pomegranate Cookie snapped back to her senses.

     The spoon had fallen out of the baby’s mouth. Now, Poison Mushroom Cookie and the baby dough were staring in awe at the tiny glowing incense stick.

     “Preeeeetty…” 

     “It is only an incense stick.” 

     “It smells pretty!” Poison Mushroom Cookie sniffed at the air. “Like…. a shroomie! Pomegranate Cookie…you always do such good stuff. You’re so smart!”

     The baby dough cooed. The two leaned forward until the dancing of the flame shone in their eyes.

     “Keep back. The flame will hurt if you get too close. And be quiet. I must have quiet to focus.”

     “Ooo! We can be quiet… right, baby?”

     The baby’s dough’s loud “A” noise sounded like agreement…but that was not because of the baby dough; it was because of how Poison Mushroom Cookie snuggled the infant’s delicate doughy body.

     “Good baby! You’re smart… just like Pomegranate Cookie!”

     Before a smile could reach her lips, Pomegranate Cookie returned her attention to the incense burner. 

═══════════

…next came Affagato Cookie…

      It had been a pleasant surprise to discover that the latrines of an underground base in the middle of a hostile continent were nicer than the ones in the Dark Cacao Citadel. Unlike those stoic barbarians, the cookies living down here appreciated the little things. Like running soda, soft towels, and a bathtub that wasn’t an oversized bucket. His first day in Beast-Yeast, Affagato cookie had taken a full day just to soak in a nice warm bath.

     However, it was a far less pleasant surprise to find that none of these amenities made bathing an infant any easier.

     “Would you…hold…still!?”

     The baby dough answered by kicking their legs as hard as possible. A wave of soda slapped Affagato Cookie in the face. He’d long since given up wearing his robes when bathtime fell on his shift and felt no hesitation in wiping himself dry with the white sleeve of his cheapest hanbok.

     “If this was water, you’d be utterly crumbled by now. Do you know that?” He said in a sing-song voice. “And I wouldn’t mourn you one bit. No, I most certainly would not.”

     The baby dough’s mouth wavered, then stretched into a bright doughy smile.

     “Oh lovely. You’re building those facial muscles, and it looks just as disturbing as ever.”

     The baby dough’s laugh was as bubbly as the bath. Once again, soda started splashing out of the tub and flooding the bathroom floor. 

     “Yes, it’s very funny, isn’t it? I’m wet and miserable, and it’s all your fault.” Affagato Cookie’s smile was thin and quivering. “Truly, you are a wretched spawn and a parasite on my existence.” 

     Never had the baby dough looked more excited. However, before another tsunami of soda could fly out of the tub, Affagato Cookie scooped up the baby.

     “How about we get you dried and dressed, hm? That way you’ll be all ready to spread your tyranny to everyone else here.” 

     The baby dough kicked and squirmed with glee. Now that those chocolate eyes were open wide, everything they saw was apparently the most amazing thing to ever exist. If      Affagato Cookie hadn’t wrapped the baby dough tightly in a towel, he’d likely have had another bruise from all the kicking and smacking. 

     “Now remember little one. No screaming in my ear. Otherwise, I shall be very tempted to-“

     On cue, the baby dough’s face scrunched up. The deep, rapid breaths were a sign of the miserable noise to come. Affagato Cookie sprinted back to his room. He fumbled with the door locks, kicked open the door, plopped the baby onto his plush bed, and yanked his pewter stuff out of the corner. Halfway into bawling, the baby dough was left ogling at the jingling rings overhead. 

     “Yes! Isn’t it just wonderous?” Affagato Cookie hissed through his gritted teeth. “It’s even more amazing the thousandth time! And who can say? Perhaps at this rate we’ll likely reach that number!”

     The baby dough squealed with glee.  

═══════════

…followed by Schwarzwälder….

     “WHERE DO YA THINK YOU’RE GOING, YOU LITTLE RUNT?!”  

     The werehound hunched over as he entered another corridor. Most of the base had been built with him in mind, but there were a few spots where the path had been left narrow. And, of course, the baby dough had crawled down one of these paths without a moment’s hesitation.

     Not that the baby dough ever hesitated now that crawling was an option. All week, those shaky limbs had been zooming around the halls and digging up roots that snuck through the hardened dirt floors. Currently, the baby dough was speeding down the narrowest path in the base with eager eyes fixed on the shiny metal hatch gleaming at the very end.

     “When I ask what you’re doing, that means STOP!” 

     The baby dough’s head bumped into Schwarzwälder’s paw. After a confused coo, the baby dough kept pushing forward with all their might. 

     “Ha! Not getting far that way, are ya?” Schwarzwälder nudged the dough backwards. “Just when I think you cookies can’t get weaker. If you were a cake pup, you’d be gnawing on my paw by-OW!”

     Schwarzwälder jumped. His claw was suddenly sore, a tiny bruise just forming below the fur. The baby dough laughed, showing a mouth full of dough gums.

     “HEY! THAT’S NOT FUNNY!” Schwarzwälder growled. “YOU THINK YOU CAN  JUST BITE ME LIKE THAT!?” 

     He lifted the baby dough and dangled them inches from his snout. His growl deepened; his face twisted into a vicious snarl. 

     The baby dough broke into wild laughter. Little hands gripped onto his wet nose.

     “…what happened to you being scared by that?”

     The baby dough kept laughing and patting the wolfhound’s nose. His face softened.

     “Heh…guess you are a little tough, FOR A COOKIE!” With a flick of his paw, the baby dough was laying right on top of his muzzle. Schwarzwälder stared cross-eyed as the little face went from confused to ecstatic. Tiny legs kicked; droplets of slobber smooched his furry face. He smiled a little more.

     “Pretty exciting seeing a big cake like me, huh? Bet you’re planning to be as big as me one day!” 

     The baby dough’s arms barely fit around Schwarzwälder’s muzzle, but that didn’t stop the little one from trying.

     “Yeah well, don’t count on it. You cookies are a pretty runty bunch…and don’t go trying to make a break for it either!” His eyes instinctively jumped left. Even when he wasn’t on patrol, the thought of something breaking through the bolted hatch kept him on guard. “Even if you made it out, you’d get stabbed by fairies and eaten up by a Jelly Tardigrade in no time flat! Ha! I bet even a yeast spore could pick you off!”

     A thin line of drool was running down his cheek. Crossing his eyes, Schwarzwälder could see the baby dough’s eyelids fluttering up and down.

     “Huh…guess you have been crawling around for a while…” 

     Schwarzwälder glanced left. Then he glanced right. Most cookies didn’t come down this way, but he needed to be absolutely sure.

     “All right. Lemme show you how Choco Werehound Brute gets his shut eye.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “When you’re a tough guy like me, you gotta know how to sleep soundly no matter where you’re at. First, ya hunker down on the ground.”

     Schwarzwälder slowly lowered himself. His nose itched, but he sniffed back his sneeze and kept his head steady. 

     “Then ya gotta curl yourself up so your paws don’t get chilly. In a little-I mean, in a big ball!” He carefully slipped the baby dough into the gap between his body and his paws. With a yawn, the baby dough snuggled into the sweet chocolate smell of fluffy hound fur. A moment passed.

     The baby dough was fast asleep.

     “There! You’re a natural…kid…” A yawn snuck out from Schwarzwälder’s pearly teeth. “Aw…you little pest. Now you got me worn out!”

     There was no response, only the gentle breaths of the baby dough.

     “Well… better not sleep too long…  I’ll… keep... watch…” 

     In about an hour, the whole base would go into a mild panic as they searched for the baby dough. After that, there would be a very embarrassing moment full of harsh scoldings from both Pomegranate Cookie and Licorice Cookie: something about disappearing and responsibility and looking like a complete idiot sleeping on the floor.  

     But for now, Schwarzwälder snored, the baby dough sniffed, and there was nothing to disturb their little nap together.

═══════════

…and finally Licorice Cookie

     It had been fourty-five minutes since Licorice Cookie had started trying to feed the baby dough: fifteen minutes to strap the baby into the chair and thirty minutes for the actual feeding process.

     Thirty minutes and counting.

     “Come oooooooonn! Just eat it! Eat it!” Licorice Cookie jabbed the spoon at the baby dough’s mouth. Like clockwork, the baby dough slapped the spoon away and squealed. The spoon slid across the floor, landing right next to the other ten, while the puice-colored slop painted the kitchen walls into abstract art. 

     “Ahhh! What is wrong with you!? It’s baby food! Food! For! Babies!”

     Licorice Cookie looked at the bowl of mushed carrots, peas, and star jellies. It looked like what had happened the first time he’d touched raw dough in the laboratorium. It smelled almost as bad, less acidic and more earthy yet equally unpleasant. Still, Butter Roll Cookie said this blend should provide all the nutrients a growing baby dough needed.

     “At least I don’t have to eat it…” Licorice Cookie scrunched-up his face. “But you do! So open up!”

     He shoved the spoon forward. The baby dough’s head turned away with a pout. Licorice Cookie moved the spoon. The baby dough’s head turned the other way. Licorice Cookie moved the spoon. The baby dough’s head turned the other way. Licorice Cookie moved the spoon. The baby dough’s head turned the other way.

     Licorice Cookie rammed the spoon directly against the baby dough’s mouth. The baby dough blew the largest raspberry possible, sending the sludge flying into Licorice Cookie’s face.

     “AH! AH! MY EYES! PTOO! BLEH! PTOOO!” 

     The baby dough laughed as Licorice Cookie frantically ran around the room like his cloak had caught fire. In fact, there was even a round of applause when Licorice Cookie smacked his face against the wall.

     “All right you little twerp! That’s the last straw!” He shook his head like a wet dog. “You better get ready, because there’s no more Mr. Nice Licorice Cookie!”

     The baby dough’s laughter stopped. A dark aura hung around Licorice Cookie, a sinister presence filled the room with shadows. He took a step forward, then another one, then another until he loomed high over the baby’s chair. His scythe was held tightly in his hand. In one swift movement, he raised it high above his head and–

     Dropped to his knees. 

     “PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAASE just eat it!” Licorice Cookie clasped his hands; the scythe clattered to the ground. Beneath his eyes, just behind his sleep-deprived bags, hung the inkling of tears. “I’ll…I’ll get you some of those caramelons slices! You like those, right? Right? So just eat this disgusting baby food and you can have as many as you want! I don’t care if they’re not good for you! I won’t tell anyone! I just can’t take this anymore!”

     The baby dough’s eyes were vacant. For once, there was no kicking or squealing. Licorice Cookie cookie’s lip quivered. So did the baby dough’s. Without breaking eye contact, Licorice Cookie felt around for a filled spoon. He lifted it up to the baby dough’s mouth. 

     It opened.

     Licorice Cookie slowly moved the spoon further inside. 

     The baby’s mouth quivered. Licorice Cookie whimpered.

     The mouth closed. 

     Licorice Cookie yanked the spoon back and jumped to his feet. 

     “Ah ha ha! You fool! There are no caramelon slices! You fell right into my trap!” Licorice Cookie raised his scythe in triumph. “How does it feel to be…”

     Now the baby dough’s mouth was really quivering. Tears and disgusting food was dripping down their face. 

     “Wh-wait wait wait! Don’t’! Don’t cry again! There’s probably some in the pantry! I’ll go get them! Promise!”

     The baby dough sniffled.

     “No tricks! See? I’m going! I’m going!”

     Licorice Cookie dashed through the pantry door and nearly tripped over his own robes in the process.

     “See? See?” A few moments later, he dumped a plastic container of swirled orange melon on the baby dough’s lap “Here! All yours! Just don’t cry!”

     The baby dough took to the melon with eager abandoned, wolfing down entire slices in a single gulp (or at least trying to). The juices blended with remnants of baby food and reduced the baby dough to a sticky orange mess.

     Licorice Cookie crossed his arms. At least no one was around to see this. He quietly spat.

     “…you win this round, baby.”  

═══════════

…. though of course, Butter Roll Cookie slotted himself in whenever time allowed.

     “That’s another failed batch…” The researcher cookie dumped another mound of cookie dough down the garbage chute.  Back when he’d first arrived, he hated having to throw out the failed specimens. It had felt wrong somehow, especially with the ones that squirmed or made noises. There was life in those failed experiments. It wasn’t “cookie” life per say, but it responded to audio cues and environmental changes…wasn’t that worth exploring further? Did they really need to start over every time an experiment wasn’t perfect?

     Those doubts had long since passed, but not from any moral reasoning. No, the real problem was that they hadn’t managed to get a dough moving since batch #100. Obviously that one had worked, they had the baby dough to prove it! but despite replicating the formula exactly, the researchers had yet to create another specimen. They hadn’t even come close.

     “Is this #146 or #147?” One of the other researchers scratched a few notes on a clipboard. 

     “#148. Remember? We did a divided batch where we proofed some of the life powder to compare the results.”

     “You know…I’m starting to think that #100 was a fluke.” The third researcher adjusted his glasses. “Whatever happened during that accident…maybe it’s just not something you can repeat in a lab. Maybe we’d be better off reanalyzing our original recipes for something we can actually simulate? “

     “There’s no such thing as a fluke!”

     Butter Roll Cookie’s declaration drew the researchers from their discussion. He was squatting a short distance away from the baby dough, who was attempting to pull themselves upright using the edge of a counter. 

     “When you say something happened by chance, whether it’s a fluke, a coincidence, a happenstance, or a stroke of luck, that’s telling your discover that it's beaten you! That you don’t care about the answers, and you’ll take whatever life throws at you lying down. And that? That’s against the whole point of science!”

     “Of course! You’re absolutely right, director!” The researcher fiddled with his glasses. “We’re just frustrated, is all.”

     “Everyone gets frustrated. Just look at my cookie over here!” He grinned as the baby dough grunted. Those little arms and legs had hardened quite a bit, but the doughy core inside them still left the baby shaky. “It’s been working all day trying to stand up a month earlier than most infants! But that’s not stopping my cookie! Not one bit!”

     “Um, director?” Another researcher brushed a strand of dark hair out of her face. “I don’t mean to question your judgement, but I was wondering…do you have an idea for how to recreate this specimen? Not that I’m questioning your process, but you do seem to be a bit less–I mean…what I mean to say is…”

     Butter Roll Cookie gave her a friendly wink. 

     “That I’m playing with my work too much? Don’t be afraid to ask questions like that. Pomegranate Cookie said the same thing, and you’re both right. However, there’s some key data you’re missing.” He picked up the baby dough as climbed to his fet. “Here, why don’t I show you? Could someone grab those jam samples from behind the hand mixer? And someone else find me a syringe.

     “Yes sir!” 

     “Right away director!”

     As the researchers scurried for supplies, Butter Roll Cookie cleared a space for the baby dough to sit on the counter. The baby dough whimpered.

     “Don’t worry, my little cookie. It’s just another experiment. You’re used to these by now, aren’t you? Ah! Here we are!” With his supplies ready, he ran a hand over the jam samples.      “Let’s seeeee… here! We’ll use some of Licorice Cookie’s Jam for this demonstration.”

     “Wait, when did he give you a jam sample?”

     “Now! We all are aware of the complications of jam transfusion, correct?”

     The researcher who’d had his question ignored furrowed his brow. Another researcher stepped in to answer.

     "To my knowledge, there are no complications. In cookies that contain jam, the jam is nearly the exact same recipe with a margin of difference less than 0.02%.”

     “That percentage accounts for the fruits used to make the jam!” The interrupting researcher proudly flicked his glasses. “However, studies have proven that dough ingredients far outweigh jam ingredients in defining a cookie’s structure. This allows medics to perform lifesaving jam transfusions without the need to know the cookie’s exact ingredients!”

     “Right! And right again! So, if I were to inject myself or any of you with this jam sample, nothing would happen. But,” Butter Roll Cookie raised a syringe, no filled with a few tablespoons of jam.  “…observe what happens if I try to inject this into my cookie.”

     The researchers gathered as close as they dared, preparing to cover their ears as Butter Roll Cookie lifted the baby dough’s arm. However, the baby dough only whimpered as the needle broke their fragile skin. The researchers shared whispers of amazement.

     “The director really knows how to handle a subject!”

     “Can you believe the baby didn’t cry? Isn’t that strange?”

     “Well, it’s not really a cookie… maybe those other cookies are just raising it wrong-“

     “Ok! Now watch!” Butter Roll Cookie removed the needle to reveal a pinprick hole. 

     The researchers waited. After a moment, they all jumped back as a thin stream of jam spat out like a geyser. Scarlet zipped into the air and splatted to the ground. The researchers gasped; Butter Roll Cookie beamed.

     “Director! Wh-what just happened!?”

     “I’ve run this experiment with different jams and even a few raw ingredients, and it’s always been the same! My cookie’s body rejects any foreign ingredients to its dough, even if those ingredients are identical to the original recipe!”

     “But… what does that mean?”

     “It means my cookie has something all the previous batches were missing!” Butter Roll Cookie’s eyes filled with a galaxy of gleaming stars. “I don’t know what it is or precisely how it got there, but there’s some ingredient in my cookie that makes it impossible improve upon! If that’s not basis of a perfect cookie, I don’t know what is!” 

     The researcher stared at the baby dough with wonder. They were too amazed to notice the baby dough’s eyes welling up.

     “It’s one of the reasons I’ve been keeping a close on my cookie’s development. We’re dealing with a reverse engineering experiment here. By observing its development and comparing it to standard baby dough growth, we should be able to pinpoint the ingredient we’re missing through behavioral analysis!”

     As the researchers praised his genius, Butter Roll Cookie lifted the baby dough with the same enthusiasm a child would give their birthday present.

     “You hear that? You’re going to be the key to perfecting cookie dough! A whole new era of Earthbread, a better world for all cookiekind! And it’s all thanks to you!”

     The tears had faded. Now the baby dough was happily cooing and kicking. Butter Roll Cookie laughed as he spun with the baby dough. The baby dough laughed along.

     “Emotional replication, already?! You might as well be a weed with how fast you’re growing!”

     One of the researchers wiped the tears from behind his glasses. Another covered his smile with a face mask. The third felt no shame in her joy; after all their director had been through, all the rumors and slander that haunted his legacy, this victory would be well-earned. They were all happy just to be a part of it. When his little spin had ended, Butter Roll Cookie held the baby dough tight and grinned.

     The laboratorium was filled with shadows. With no windows to let the sunlight in , the only light came from fixed angles. Curved-necked lamps positioned over desks, tube lights wrapped around machinery, glow-in-the-dark frosting to mark paths on the ground: such intricate placement left voids of black where attention wasn’t needed. 

But Butter Roll Cookie knew every inch of his laboratorium. He knew what the shadows looked like, and when they shouldn’t be there.

     “It’d probably grow even faster if you wanted to come help up out!” He called to a dark corner. “I’m sure Pomegranate Cookie wouldn’t mind, and I’d still love an excuse to pick your dough for ideas!”

     He could hear the shadow scuffling, then a metal plate screeching and clanging shut. The only sign anything had happened was a thin, nearly untraceable waft of sewage in the air.

     “Director? Who are you talking to?”

     Butter Roll Cookie looked down at the baby dough. The baby dough stared back.

     “I’m sure she’ll come around.” Butter Roll Cookie promised. “Once she understands how important you are, she’ll be thrilled to help with my experiments. Just you wait and see.”

Beneath the golden light of a magic lamp stood a lone figure: a cookie-dummy with no clothes, no legs, and a neutral face of fear. Its comrades lay smoldering all around him, their straw slowly crumbling into ash as their killer prepared for another strike.

     “All right…I’ve got it this time...” Licorice Cookie tightened his ponytail and adjusted his training garments. Then fiddled with the pendant around his neck, a simple necklace made from twine and a tightly bound sphere of black candy. Its surface felt icy right now; he mentally ordered it to stay that way.

     Licorice Cookie locked eyes with the blandly terrified dummy. The candy pendant sparked with a grim purple light. The scythe cracked like flint, striking once, twice, three times before encasing itself in black lightning.

     “Licorio Maledictum!” With a mighty shriek, he pounded the blade into the ground. The earth cracked with thunder, sending lines of hot purple lightning rushing to meet the dummy. Straw sparked with electricity, the scent of anise pulsed from the dummy in fog-thick waves.

     “YES!”

     Then the magic dissipated, and the dummy burst into flames.

     “NO!” He yanked his robe off the weight rack and tossed it over the burning straw. “NO! NO! NO! Stop it! Stop burning! Stop it right now!”

     No amount of patting seemed to smother the flames. The dummy’s head slipped off its burnt neck and burst into a soot cloud.

     “Ahhhhh! STOP IT!” He threw his robes around the burning man and clenched with what little strength he had. Finally, the fire suffocated, leaving Licorice Cookie hugging a headless straw corpse. 

     “Phew! Finally… thought I lost that one.”

     “WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL MY DUMMIES!?” 

     Schwarzwälder took up the entirety of the doorway.

     “Heeeeey! What brings you in here?” Licorice Cookie jumped away from the dummy and frantically shook his cloak. In doing so, he sent up a miniature soot storm across the entire room; the stone dumbbells, the log bench, low handing wall clock, and the mound of giant leaves that served as a yoga mat were all wrapped in a winter wonderland of grey. 

     “What brings… IT’S MY TRAINING ROOM! I’M THE ONE WHO DUG IT! I PUT ALL THE STUFF IN HERE!” Schwarzwälder ran his claws through the ashes. The scraps of a disinterested straw face stared back at him. “I…I worked really hard on these.”

     “W-well…” Licorice Cookie fiddled with his scythe, his hands even sweatier than they’d been before. “Well! It’s no big deal! I’m sure we can just build some more or something! Besides, it’s not just your training room. Everyone shares stuff around here! You’re not the only one who’s got to train, Schwarzwälder!”

     “…it’s Choco Werehound Brute.” Schwarzwälder muttered as he shook the ash from his claw. He reached behind one of the stone dumbbells for a broom. “What are you even doing in here? Aren’t you usually asleep about now?”

     “I’m trying to get this stupid magic candy to work how I want it.”

     Schwarzwälder glanced up at Licorice Cookie’s pendant.

     “Still!? Didn’t Strawberry Crepe Cookie send you that thing a year ago? Thought you had it all figured out by now.”

     “It’s an experimental magic relic imbued with the power of the ancients! A wellspring of magical potential from beyond our understanding! You can’t just ‘figure it out’ !” Licorice Cookie sneered down at his illusive jewelry. “I’ve been able to summon twice as many servants and raise their power using poison. I should be able to use this candy to cast curses directly. But whenever I try, the whole thing goes up in flames!”

     “Just stick to the servants then! Or you know, HACK EM TO PIECES WITH A BIG OLD WACK!” Schwarzwälder flung the ashes with a mighty swing of his broom. “That’s what I’d do if I had some extra power! HIT EM HARDER AND BIGGER! HA!”

     “Hmph! That’s why I’m the one with the Magic Candy, and you’re not.”

     “I thought it was that pipsqueak made a candy with licorice, and you were the only one who could test it.”

     “W-well…. technically...” Licorice Cookie hid his reddening cheeks behind his cloak, ignoring the singed cotton smell. “Shouldn’t you be somewhere else? It’s your turn to watch the cookie, isn’t it?”

     Schwarzwälder had set the broom aside to grab the biggest set of dumbbells. Now his claw stopped halfway to the handle.

     “My turn? What are you yapping about? That daffy scientist watches ‘em at night, doesn’t he?”

     “Didn’t anyone tell you? Butter Roll Cookie fell into the mixing bowl because that brat was keeping him up, so I had to start the rotation again. Right before my bedtime too!” Licorice Cookie pouted. “I just stuffed the brat’s face with caramelon slices and tossed him off to Pomegranate Cookie and Poison Mushroom Cookie. Not that I could sleep after dealing with that nastiness…”

     “So, it’s been their turn too?” Schwarzwälder looked at the clock. “Uh so you sleep at…and then add the…but then the…HEY! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY TURN HOURS AGO!”

     “Oh, don’t get so worked up.” Licorice Cookie waved his hand. “I’m sure it’s fine. It’s not like you haven’t forgotten to trade off.”

     “YEAH, BUT THAT WAS DIFFERENT! IT’S LATE! WHAT IF–"

     The wall thudded; the hanging clock shattered on the ground.

     Another thud, even louder than the first one. Then another. And a muffled sound like the wail of a dying moose.

     “Uh… isn’t…Affagato Cookie’s room on the other side of that wall?”

     Instead of answering, Schwarzwälder galloped out of the room.

     “H-hey wait! Wait for me!” Licorice Cookie skidded out after him, around one corner, then the next, then right into the werehound’s side as Schwarzwälder banged on the heavily bolted door.

     “HEY! WHAT’S GOING ON IN THERE!? OPEN UP!”

     The room went dead quiet. 

     “I SAID OPEN IT UP BEFORE I KNOCK IT DOWN!” 

     “…just a moment. I’m not prepared for company.” Affagato Cookie’s silky voice was filled with wrinkles. There was another thud. “If would just bear with me for, a few minutes–”

     CRASH!

     One swing of Schwarzwälder’s hammer was all it took. The thick wood splintered, the metal bolts cracked into pieces, dirt rained from the empty entryway, the walls hanging together only by its magical reinforcements. What remained of the door landed in the middle of chaos. The bedcovers had been tossed aside, the drawers were half open with contents trailing across the floor, and the hanging scrolls and tapestries lay in crinkled piles over it all. If anything, the broken door was the finishing touch.

     “Oh!” Affagato Cookie stared at the door, his dark circles barely hidden behind makeup and his hair bun lying lopsided against his head. “Oh…good evening Sch–”

     “IT’S CHOCO WEREHOUD BRUTE TO YOU!”

     “…good evening, Choco Werehound Brute.” Affagato Cookie would have made for a good dummy with how stiffly he stood. He didn’t budge as Schwarzwälder shoved his way inside with Licorice Cookie close behind. He didn’t even flinch when Schwarzwälder lifted him by the shirt; he just hung there with his eyes closed, smile twitching.

     “WHERE’S THE RUNT!?” Spit flew into Affagato Cookie’s face. “YOU HAD ‘EM LAST, DIDN’T YOU? SO COUGH ‘EM UP!”

     “Uh Schwarzwälder? I don’t think the cookie’s here.” Licorice Cookie flipped over a folded scroll with his scythe. “Not unless the brat’s buried under all this junk.”

     “No.”

     “WHAT WAS THAT!? SPEAK UP!”

     Affagato Cookie’s smile crinkled at the edges. The lump in his voice bobbed up and down as he forced the words out. 

     “The little one is here. They must be. I locked the door. You saw. I didn’t. I didn’t even leave the room. Just. Rested my eyelids. The little one must be here. They must be.”

     “THEN TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE!” Schwarzwälder shook Affagato Cookie like a ragdoll. “TELL ME BEFORE I START TEARING OFF THOSE UGLY EYELASHES!” 

     “I did tell you. If you’d just calm yourself a bit,”

     Schwarzwälder growled.

     “Come on, Schwarzwälder! Calm down!” Licorice Cookie’s scythe dug past a mound of hanboks and incense stick. “If the door was locked then there must have been…oh…”

     “WHAT!? BEEN WHAT!?”

     When Licorice Cookie lifted his staff, there was a tiny green leaf punctured on its tip. The color drained from his face as he pulled the blade close enough to catch the scent: the bitter waft of green tea.

     “I… I think we have a problem.”

═══════════

     The rivers that ran beneath Beast Yeast were filled with jellied feces and swamp bubbles that burst with toxic fumes. The half-eaten carcasses of candy animals floated on the currents with their dead eyes fixed on the draping curtains of mold. Everything echoed here, from the gentle current of sewage to the scrape of cookie feet against the eroded stone walkways. 

     “He he he! No one knows! Too dark! Too sleepy! Too….sneaky! Now the perrrrrrfect cookie is mine! Mine! Pheh heh!” Matcha Cookie’s smile wriggled across her cheeks like a worm. “Soo sneaky! Didn’t think of my sneaky leaves! And my sneaky seeds! All my little planty puppets through the locks! Click-click-click! Heee! He he he he!”

     Her robes trailed behind her, and behind that trailed the doughy little cookie, struggling to keep up with her strides. 

     “Mph! Hurry up! Faster! Faster!” She yanked the little cookie’s arm. The cookie had grown significantly, now only a head shorter than Poison Mushroom Cookie. Though the body was still bare and fresh, there was a little dollop of chocolate icing hair and vanilla toothicing peeked through the cookie’s gums. 

     The little cookie’s legs swiped back and forth, faster and faster, until finally–PLOP! The little cookie slipped on the slick concrete. Matcha Cookie yelped as stumbled sideways.

     “Purpose! You did that on purpose! Mmmmmmph! I said move faster, not fall over!”

     The little cookie sniffled. The little cookie’s mouth quivered. The little cookie’s eyes watered. 

     But the little cookie didn’t cry, just climbed back up so Matcha Cookie could continue dragging them forward.

     “Looky you! Falling over? Meh! Psht! But you think you’re sooo much better! Everyone watching you! Playing with you! Feeding you! Well, no one feeds me! Hee hee! I’m a much better cookie! Heh heh heh! Better than you! You perrrrfect cookie you!” 

     Matcha Cookie stopped. Here the current roared as the sewage raced to one of the sewer’s many dead ends. This one was a mile high waterfall. Even a short distance away, she could see the rising flecks of lemon-line urine flick into the air as the waste rushed towards its demise in a bottomless cesspool. She stopped to cackle.

     “See over there? That’s where you should go. He he! Aaaaall the way down! Heeeee! Like those “garbage” doughs! All the wrong ones in the chute!” 

     The little cookie stared at the water. The little cookie stared up at Matcha Cookie, mouth fixed in a line.

     “You’d be all melted! All squished and gooey! Yes! He heeee! All gone!” Matcha Cookie shook her head. “But no! If the perrrfect cookie gets squished, that…that yucky cookie will just make some more! More cookies! More and more cookies! Pst! Bleh! That’s why there’s the plan.”

     On they went, further down the path, left down a tunnel the sewage couldn’t quite reach, and into Matcha Cookie’s chambers.

     There were two elements to the so-called room: machines and matcha. The machines sat along the tunnel walls with their cords spread like cobwebs across the floor. Most featured dents in their sides, broken screens on their monitors, or rust in their cervices. In front of the sewer grate that served as the back wall was an electric mixing bowl, half the size of the laboratorium’s and far less functional. Then there were the matcha trees, thriving in their clay pots beneath the cover of darkness. Leaves lay scattered across on the moist floor and where the moisture gathered, undrinkable puddles of green tea appeared. 

     The little cookie’s head swiveleds. As Matcha Cookie moved to the center of the room, the little cookie swiped a hand over the tea puddles.

     “NO!” Matcha Cookie yanked the little cookie’s arm harder. “I mean…noooo! That’s not your tea! He he. mmmmm, your tea is over here! I bet you… he he… will like my tea… much better.”

     The little cookie didn’t say anything, only stared up at Matcha Cookie until her eerie smile crinkled.

     “Mmmmph! Aren’t you supposed to be crying or something? Mmm!? I just kidnapped you! You’re gone! Gone away! Hmph! Hmmm?”

     The little cookie blinked. 

     “Pstpt! Whatever! Just you sit! Sit!” Matcha Cookie pressed down on the little cookie’s head, sitting them with a loud squish on a mold-ridden pillow. Booger green slime stuck to the little cookie’s bum like glue. The pillow smelled like glue too. The little cookie had almost eaten glue once, when they found the bottle in an unlocked laboratorium cupboard. The little cookie gave a weak laugh and bounced up and down on the pillow. Squish! Squish! Squish!

     “He he heeeee! You stupid cookie! You don’t even know!” She slunk to the mixing bowl and cackled over the brim. Beneath her, the bowl was free of sludge and filled with rainwater, leaves, and seeds. In the shadows of the sewer, the bowl appeared a dark green. However, in the one place where moonlight snuck through a pipeline, the liquid carried an otherworldly shimmer. She lifted her arm.

     “Left! Gooo left!”

     The tea flowed to the left end of the bowl.

     “Right! Right!”

     The tea flowed to the right, the shimmers swirling with the leaves.

     “Yes! Hee hee hee! Still good! Still my pretty little leaves! Pretty seeds!” Matcha Cookie looked back on the bouncing little cookie. “This was supposed to go in before you baked! Until that brute ruined it all! Hmph! HMPH! But now-keh heh heh-now you’ll be all full of seeds! And you’ll be my puppet! And I’ll show them! Show them all I will! Eeeeee hehehe!”

     The little cookie squeaked in time to Matcha Cookie’s cackling, a sound which she didn’t hear as she sloshing the tea into a chipped teacup. 

     “Now then! You perrrrfect cookie! Time for your…tea.” For all the grinning and boasting she’d done up to this point, Matcha Cookie found her hand shaking as she held the cup out.      The little cookie, no longer bouncing, stared. 

     “C-come on! Driiiiink! Just a liiiiitle bit of tea! Yum…yum?”

     When the little cookie hands took the cup, they steadied Matcha Cookie’s grip.

     “Th-that’s it! Now…. drink some tea…. just… a little?”

     The little cookie stared into the cup. From this angle, there was only a bottomless hole of black. Still, the little cookie lifted the cup to their mouth. Matcha Cookie shook like the leaves in her brew.

     “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!?!?!?!?”

     GULP!

     “Yay! Yaaaay!” The cup clattered on the floor as Matcha Cookie jumped. She moved wildly, flapping her arms up and down for the thunderous applause she heard in her head. “It’s mine! The perfect cookie is mine! It’s-“

     “PTHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” 

     A geyser shot out of the little cookie’s mouth, sending the spit-laced matcha straight into Matcha Cookie’s robe.

     “…eh?” Matcha Cookie blinked. 

     The little cookie blinked back.

     “Grrrrr! You… you’re not supposed to spit it! You drink it! Drink!” 

     Half tripping over her wet clothes, she scooped up another cup of tea and shoved it into the little cookie’s hands.

     “DRINK!”

     The little cookie whimpered, but still managed to sip down the tea.

     “Now don’t spit!” Matcha Cookie covered the little cookie’s mouth with her hands. “No spitting! Stay in! In! It’s gotta stay in!”

     At first, the little cookie did as order. The little throat bobbed as the tea was forced down. But then the little cookie shook and whimpered and struggled against Matcha Cookie’s grip.

     “No no no! Stay in! Keep it in! Keep it-“

     The little cookie stopped shaking. 

     Matcha Cookie looked down.

     A fresh trail of tea was spreading down the side of the pillow.

     “Ahhhhhhhh! No! No! NO!” Still covering the little cookie’s mouth, Matcha Cookie shook the little head back and forth. “You can’t be perfect! Can’t be! You’re supposed to drink! You’re supposed to be my puppet! I have to show them! I-”

     "HEY PIPSQUEAK! WE KNOW YOU’RE DOWN HERE!”

     Every drop of jam in Matcha Cookie’s body froze.

     “COME OUT HERE NOW! AND MAYBE I WON’T GRIND YOU INTO CRUMBS!”

     The shout bounced down the metal pipes with enough ferocity to make the ground walls…or maybe it was just Matcha Cookie shaking.

     “Ah-ah-ahhhhh! They’re coming! They’re coming! Wh-what do I do? What do I do?” Dirty tea splashed as she scurried to the pipe opening and carefully–carefully–peeked around the very edge. Her cheeks scraped across the jagged metal. She could see shadows in the distance.

     “Would you pipe down?! If she knows we’re coming, she might not come out!”

     “Ulgh…does she really live down here? Is this some type of punishment?”

     “Of course not! She has a room! She just doesn’t use it because…  because…. um…”

     “HEY! I THINK I SMELL SOMETHING!”

     The steps pounded closer, but Matcha Cookie had already withdrawn.

     “The tea! The tea! The tea!” Her gaze jumped from the bowl to the plants to the many, many fragrant tea puddles. “Ahhh! Can’t get rid of it! Can’t hide! GAAAAAHHH!”

     The little cookie made a matching “A” sound.

     “Grrr! This is all your fault! Your fault!” She shook the little cookie like a carnival prize fish. “If you’d just drink! If you, you…you weren’t baked! Mmmmmph! Why do we need more cookies!? Huh!? WHY!? Master doesn’t need more cookies! None! NONE!”

     Too dizzy to reply, the little cookie spat up what little green tea remained in their mouth.

     “HERE! THIS WAY! I SMELL THAT TWERP’S TEA!”

     “Ugh finally! Let’s get the brat and get out of here before Pomegranate Cookie finds out about this!”

     “Wait! I can’t keep up! Wait a moment!” 

     The pounding sound of footsteps boomed louder and louder. Matcha Cookie grabbed the little cookie with one hand and her staff with the other.

     “One… two… too many! Mmmmph! Meh heh Mmmmnnn!” Her muttering came faster than her mouth could keep up. “Not gonna…won’t-WON’T! Can’t hide…Ah-Aie…AH! Aha! A-HA!”

     When Matcha Cookie raised her staff, a few seeds floated up to greet it. The staff rebuffed them and sent the hard shells hovering into the walkway.

     “Hey! Look! What’s that floating!?” 

     “IT’S THOSE LOUSY PLANT THINGS AGAIN!”

     Matcha Cookie’s mutters raised to a pitch even couldn’t hear. On her staff’s command, the seeds went flying off in the opposite direction of the opening.

     “GRRRRRR I’M GONNA CLOBBER YOU!”

     Schwarzwälder’s stride passed by in an earthquake. Matcha Cookie barely kept on her feet as the pipe jumped. The little cookie clung to her side. Even when the steps passed, she still felt the pipe trembling beneath her.

     “C-clever! Sneaky! Hee hee! But they’ll come back-pst pst! Only a little-he he-time! Gotta… gotta… NEEEEEE!” 

     Matcha Cookie rocketed from her pipe hideaway out into the opening. Her staff scratched loudly on the ground behind her, but she kept running as if she could escape the sound. The little cookie could barely keep pace with the kidnapper, half-jumping with each stride to keep from falling over.

     “Run! Run! Run!” She told herself between pants. She swung right. “Gotta run! Ru-EEEK!”

     Matcha Cookie skidded to a stop inches away from Affagato Cookie’s outstretched hand. He was panting almost as hard as she was.

     “YOU!? HERE!? WHY!?” She felt her hair standing up on end as she backed away.

     “Matcha cookie…?” He exhaled, a few strands of hair drifting over his eyes. “One… moment… please…”

     His request breezed past Matcha Cookie as quickly as the debris in the sewers beside them: the same debris that, when Matcha Cookie raised her staff, began to tremble. 

     “Go! Away!”

     Clumps of tea leaves leapt from the floating garbage and swarmed Affagato Cookie’s face. As he stood there sputtering and swiping, Matcha Cookie shoved past him.

     “Hey! Affagato Cookie! What are you doing back here!?” Licorice Cookie’s voice echoed from further behind her.

     “WHAT ARE THESE THING!? MORE PLANTS!?”

     “It-Ptooo! Was-ack! A tr-*Cough, cough*-trick!.”

     “See, Schwarzwälder!? I told you something was fishy about those seeds!”

     “…WHADDYA MEAN YOU TOLD-“

     The shouting was cut short as Matcha Cookie skidded left. Her feet ached with how violently the walkway scratched beneath her, but she kept running. She ran and turned and ran and turned, even as the smells of chocolate, coffee, and licorice drifted up from behind her, even as her brain struggled to catch up.

     “Which way? Where? Why? Can’t be caught! Won’t be caught! I’m sneaky, right? A plan? Do I need a plan? I’m… I’m…”

     Her thoughts stopped short at the edge. She was standing by the very waterfall she’d pointed out earlier. 

     “H-huh!?” Matcha Cookie tried to mentally retrace her steps, but it was all a blur. “Ooooohhhhh that ugly cookie! He mixed me up! Tch! TCH! Curse him! Curse him!”

     The little cookie legs wobbled like jelly, yet even with their lungs aching, squeaked out a matching curse in gibberish. They looked up at Matcha Cookie.

     Murder glared back.

     A few moments later, Licorice Cookie, Schwarzwälder, and Affagato Cookie swerved around the bend, spitting sewage leaves from their faces.

     “Ulgh…” Licorice Cookie gagged. “It smells like…like…”

     As Licorice Cookie fought to keep the contents of his stomach inside him, Schwarzwälder shook the last of the gunk from his muzzle. 

     “ALL RIGHT! THAT’S IT! NOW YOU’RE GETTING THE HAMMER YOU-“

     There stood Matcha Cookie, inches away from a roaring waterfall with the little cookie teetering over the side. She’d thrown her staff to the side, but even with both hands she wavered beneath the little cookie’s weight.

     “Stay back! Back!” She grunted. “Or I drop it! I drop the perrrrfect cookie!”

     “YOU THINK YOU CAN THREATEN ME LIKE THAT!?” Schwarzwälder’s voice thundered over the rushing current. His step shook the ground. Matcha Cookie wobbled.

 “I-I mean it! I’ll drop! Drop it! Down, down, down into the-hee hee-water!”

     Affagato Cookie and Licorice Cookie frantically blocked the cakehound’s path, Affagato Cookie with his pewter staff and Licorice Cookie with his scythe.

     “Don’t move, Schwarzwälder! You’re making it worse!”

     “Let’s keep things calm, Choco Werehound Brute.” Affagato Cookie cleared his throat and put on his sweetest smile. “Now Matcha Cookie, I’m sure we can work something out. I can’t say I care much for the little one either, but, if you just step away from the edge, I am certain we can solve this.”

     Matcha Cookie hissed.

     “Oh come on, Matcha Cookie! Do you think Dark Enchantress Cookie is going to be happy to find out you threw that cookie into a waterfall!?”

Matcha Cookie stuck her tongue out at Licorice Cookie. Affagato Cookie picked up where he left off.

     “Just think about it, Matcha Cookie. Surely whatever it is you wish to obtain from this can’t be worth the ire of your master, right? You don’t wish her to be upset when she returns?”

     Matcha Cookie wavered, not just in conviction but in her lopsided stance that kept the little cookie teetering like a dry leaf on a branch

     “But think of it. If you came back now, you’d have kept the little one from falling into the water.” His voice dripped: low, steady and soothing. “You’ll have saved the entire project. None of us would get in trouble, and you’d receive all the praise you could imagine.”

     “THAT’S NOT-“

     Licorice Cookie threw a “SHHH” back at Schwarzwälder. Matcha Cookie had started muttering to herself, but it was impossible to make out over the water. 

     Unless, like the little cookie, you were standing directly next to her.

     “Mmmmm….lies? Is it-he he-lies? Pst! But… mad… mad at Matcha Cookie!? Mmm-no, NOT! Not mad at Matcha Cookie! Not at Matcha Cookie! Can’t! Mmm-he he-hmm? Can’t she? At poor Matcha Cookie…”

     The little cookie kept listening. They listened to the kidnappers’ muttering. They listened to Affagato Cookie’s gentle negotiations. They listened, listened, listened, and listened until the words started drifting from out of the head and into the teething mouth.

     Matcha Cookie.

     It was a very big term for a little cookie’s brain, but the term stuck to that cookie; therefore, the name stuck to the little cookie’s memory.

     Matcha Cookie. Matcha Cookie. Matcha Cookie.

     Matcha. Matcha. Matcha.

     Ma. Cha. Ma. Cha.

     Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma.

     “MAMA!”

     One word was all it took to siphon away every thought, that any other cookie was having at that moment. Every face was blank, and every eye was pinned to the little cookie, especially Matcha Cookie’s. Her mouth had dropped halfway into a cackle.

     The little cookie smiled with a big, barely toothing grin.

     “Mama!” Said the little cookie. “Mama! Mama! Mama!”

     Matcha Cookie’s face kept morphing. It was puckered like a sour lemon one second and puffed up like a watermelon the next.

     “Mama! Mama! Ma-“

     “WHAAAAAT!?” Matcha Cookie shouted straight into the little cookie’s face, the force of which made the little cookie jump back.

     The little cookie jumped straight over the edge, pulling Matcha Cookie along for the ride.

     “Matcha Cookie!”

     “The little one!”

     “MOVE IT!”

     In three strides, Schwarzwälder was at the waterfall, but it was still too late. His claws grasped the air, leaving Matcha Cookie and the little cookie to plumet.

     Matcha Cookie didn’t scream. She heard Licorice Cookie screaming in the distance, but her mouth was still hanging open. Rotting air blasted into her mouth. Even though could see the water rushing up to meet her, her brain was trapped two seconds ago, trying to make sense of the little cookie’s sounds.

     Her hand was still holding onto the little cookie’s arm. 

     The little cookie didn’t scream either, not even when the mounds of jagged sewer stone were inches away from their face. The little cookie didn’t know what the stones or the water meant but wanted to. Now that the little cookie learned a word, the cookie was ready to learn everything else.

  THUMP!

     Something thick wrapped itself around the two of them. Matcha Cookie felt her stomach swing as the descent stopped. Finally, she yelped as something pulled them away from the water and plopped them onto the walkway.

     “HUH!? Wha!? Water…what happened!?” Still squeezing the little cookie’s hand, she swayed to her knees.

     “Wait a minute. You shouldn’t get up too fast.” 

     Matcha Cookie turned to see the scarlet spikes of hair, the peppermint twist of a soldier’s uniform, and the split gaze of harsh blue eyes. 

     “You!” Matcha Cookie got up too fast, on purpose, and felt her head sway. 

     “I told you!” He reached out his hand–his special hand– and let her body bump against it. “A fall like that is going to leave you shaken. You should sit down.”

     Matcha Cookie turned around and crossed the only arm she had free around her middle. He sighed. He looked up to the waterfall’s edge where his comrades were staring back at him.

     “Red Velvet Cookie!?” Licorice Cookie’s screech rose above the water. “You’re here!?” 

     “Yes! I’m here!” He glanced back at Matcha Cookie and the little cookie she was holding hands with. The little cookie stared back with wide eyes. “Could someone explain what on Earthbread is going on!?”

          “Red Velvet Cookie! You’re home! Yaaaaay!” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s arms found their way around Red Velvet Cookie’s torso before he’d even stepped foot into the dining hall.

          The room’s prestigious title was a bit of a joke. The modest dirt space with its sturdy stump table and recycled silver chairs was nothing compared to lavish tapestries and never-ending table of the Vanilla Kingdom’s dining hall. The name was a force of habit.

          “Did Esterhazy taste my shrooomies? Did he eat them aaaall up?”

          Red Velvet Cookie patted the mushroom cap.

          “He loved them. He could tell they were even bigger than the last ones and said that he misses watching them grow with you.”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie jumped up and down with shouts of delight.

          “Nice job dodging the question.” Licorice Cookie grumbled as he dragged the disgruntled little cookie through the door. “And what are you even doing here!? You still haven’t explained that!”

          “He didn’t exactly have a chance before.” Affagato Cookie caught the door before it hit him and slid into a vacant space beside Red Velvet Cookie, then extended his hand. “I don’t believe we’ve be introduced. I’m Affagato Cookie.”

          “Ah. From the Dark Cacao kingdom. I remember your name from Pomegranate Cookie’s report.” Red Velvet Cookie shook with his cookie hand. “I’m glad to meet a fellow comrade.”

          “The pleasure is all mine.”

          “Blah! Blah! Blah! Enough with the introductions!” Licorice Cookie marched straight between them and heaved the kicking little cookie into a chair. “I wanna know why you’re here and not at the Chocolate Cake tower!”

          "What Chocolate cake tower?” Red Velvet Cookie scoffed. “The entire structure was obliterated.”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie’s eyes widened.

          “Whaaaaa!? How!?”

          “Some cookie calling herself a “sky god” split the tower in two.” Red Velvet Cookie rotated one of the silver chairs and sat so his arms rested over the backside. “When we tried to evacuate, not only did the so-called god start slaughtering the cakes, but Dark Cacao Cookie arrived to help her.”

          “Bleh! Of course, that jerk was there!” Licorice Cookie spat as he wrestled with the irritable little cookie. Affagato Cookie’s face wrinkled.

          “Between the two of them, we lost a full battalion.” Red Velvet Cookie clenched his scarlet claw. “The rest of us escaped to the Strawberry Cake tower. Our production’s remained consistent, but the tower’s almost reached its capacity. We need to relocate before our production start drawing attention–and not just from that pesky order. That’s why I returned: to report the incident to our master and see what steps should be taken for the next tower.”

          Affagato Cookie took a sweeping glance of the room. Poison Mushroom Cookie was sitting on the table without a single thought beneath that mushroom cap. Licorice Cookie now had his full attention on stopping the little cookie’s angry kicking. And Schwarzwälder had been gone for a while, detaining Matcha Cookie somewhere.

          So Affagato Cookie answered.

          “I’m afraid you’ve come at an unfortunate time. Our master has been away for months at this point, and based on Pomegranate Cookie’s correspondence, she’s quite occupied with her search for the dragons.”

          “I see. I suppose I can wait until she returns.” Red Velvet Cookie reached for the red satchel hanging at his side. “I do have a few things to deliver while I’m here. Esterhazy sent a letter for Schwarzwälder and some buttercream meringues for-“

          “Me!” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s hands dove over Red Velvet Cookie’s lap, into the bag, and promptly stuffed two meringues into an eager mouth. Red Velvet Cookie chuckled.

          “I brought some licorice drops from Strawberry Crepe Cookie as well. Apparently, they’re meant to help regulate the magic candy’s power.”

          “Finally! Does that twerp have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for-Oof!“ One of the little cookie’s legs had broken free. Licorice Cookie rubbed his sore torso. “What is wrong with you!? If you kick me one more time, you twerp, then you’re not getting another piece of caramelon out of me for as long as you live!”

          “Mama!” The little cookie pouted with arms crossed. “Mama! Mama! Mama!”

          “Stop making that sound! It sounds too much like…like…” A shudder ran across Licorice Cookie’s face.

          “Yes, now that I’ve explained why I’m here, perhaps someone could explain the small cookie running around? I know out Master intends to build new bodies for the beast cookies, but…this?”

          Red Velvet Cookie’s uncertainty went unheard between Licorice Cookie’s angry yelps and the little cookie’s shouts.

          “Mama!” The little cookie pointed an accusatory hand at Licorice Cookie.

          “D-definitely don’t say that to me!” Licorice Cookie sputtered. “I’m not your…I’m Licorice Cookie! Li-Co-Rish-Cuh-kee! Got that!?”

          The little cookie’s face softened. The chocolate brown eyes glazed over, suddenly as blank as black pearls. Three seconds were all it took, but the seconds passed slowly. One thought. Two thoughts. Three thoughts. Then the little cookie blinked and pointed again.

          “Lickish!” The little cookie’s arm waved with a growing smile. “Lickish! Lickish! Lickish!”

          Licorice Cookie sputtered like broken sprinkler.

          “It seems the little one has learned your name.” Affagato Cookie hid a laugh behind his hand.

          “Whooaaaaa! Baby can talk! Uh…doooo…” Poison Mushroom Cookie scooted across the table and pointed. “Affagato Cookie!”

          The little cookie pointed.

          “Affto!”

          “Yaaaay! Next dooo…” The little cookie had the answer before Poison Mushroom Cookie’s hand had finished pointing.

          “Shoomy! Shoomy!”

          “Yaaay! That’s me! Poison Mushroom Cookie!” After tumbling off the table, Poison Mushroom Cookie gave the little cookie a squishy cheek-to-cheek hug. “Smart baby! Baby’s sooo smart! Baby should get a shroomie! Right, Red Velvet Cookie?”

          “Re..vet?” The little cookie’s squinting eyes counted the cookies–one, two, three, four–before landing a finger on Red Velvet Cookie. “Revet!? Revet!?”

          Red Velvet Cookie nodded, the ends of his mouth threatening a smile. “For an empty vessel, it certainly seems aware.”

          “Oh, most certainly. If I’d seen it elsewhere, I’d assume the little one was no different from any other cookie child.” Affagato Cookie waved a hand in the air. “But apparently this little one is only replicating behaviors, not thinking independently. A…simulacra, I believe he called it? I can’t say I understand much of the process.”

          “I see. An who exactly is-”

          The doors swung open.

          “Good morning everyone! Funny seeing you all up this early! Usually it’s just me!” Butter Roll Cookie let loose a massive yawn. “But I have to say, that was one of the best night’s sleeps I’ve had in weeks! Thanks again for covering the night shift! Turns out I really needed it! Oh!”

           The little cookie had broken free of Poison Mushroom Cookie’s hug and scampered straight to Butter Roll Cookie.

          “And good morning to you too! How’s my cookie doing?”

          “Buh-woll!” The little cookies arms flapped like a fledging bird. “Buh-woll! Buh-woll! Buh-woll! Buh-woll! Buh-woll! Buh-woll!”

          With every squeaky cry of “buh-woll”, Butter Roll Cookie’s grin doubled.

          “Ha! Finally! At the rate you were growing, I was starting to worry about your brain keeping up!”

          When Butter Roll Cookie scooped the little cookie up with a spin, laughter popped up between every new word.

          “Lickish! Buh-woll! Shoomie! Revet! Affato! Mama! Mama! Mama!”

          “Well! How about that?! You’ve had a dictionary in your head this whole time!” Butter Roll Cookie beamed. “There must have been some kind of cognitive hesitation, maybe a self-defense mechanism where the expedited physical development caused the cerebral jam to maintain a lower level of activity until the processes could insure sufficient function from all systems! That’s fantastic! All right. Which one of you do I have to thank for--”

          The question stopped dead in its tracks. Butter Roll Cookie moved the little cookie to a secure grip beneath his arm and stared out at the room–he stared hard.

          “W-well about that!” Licorice Cookie shuffled to the front of the room. “Affagato Cookie–“

          Affagato Cookie loudly cleared his throat.

          “I believe what you are about to say is that there was an incident in which I, along with several other individuals, none of whom could be singled out as entirely at fault…”

          Butter Roll Cookie marched the past both of them.

          “What is…”

          With the eager abandonment of a kid in a candy store, Butter Roll Cookie clamped onto Red Velvet Cookie’s scarlet claw and yanked it into the air.

          “This!?”

          Red Velvet Cookie’s neutral expression evaporated as he as forced on his tiptoes, mere inches from dangling.

          “Hey! Unhand me! OW!” Red Velvet Cookie was yanked again, closer to the light. Butter Roll Cookie twisted and bent every one of his scarlet joints.

          “It’s tougher than dough, at least a seven on the hardness scale. Advanced dexterity, firmer structure than average, a much higher density but with notable air pockets…” He gave the oversized arm a few more thoughtful prods, watching as the dough flattened and expanded beneath his grip. “Wait! Is this cake!?”

          “Yeaaah! You guessed right!” Poison Mushroom Cookie clapped. “Master gave him a…big red chocolate cake arm…cause the witch ate the old one.”

          Licorice Cookie slapped a hand over Poison Mushroom Cookie’s mouth.

           “You can’t just say that someone got their arm eaten!”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie’s “Why not?” was smothered beneath Licorice Cookie’s mouth. Meanwhile, Butter Roll Cookie pushed back Red Velvet Cookie’s puffed sleeve. The transition from malleable scarlet cake to crisp brown cookie was almost seamless, blending at the shoulder with the skill of a watercolor artist. Only a single seam of pale black icing marked the original wound.

          “So this was the work of Dark Enchantress Cookie as well?” Butter Roll Cookie traced the jagged icing line with the tip of his hand. His grin lost its intensity to the rapid gears whirling in his mind. “Even as an emergency repair, there’s impressive attention to detail. Barely any lifeless dough surrounding the seam, and the absorbent qualities of the red velvet cake preserved the original jam system. First that cookie and now this!? I’ve got one incredible boss! Ha!”

          “Enough!”

          With a swing of his claw, Red Velvet Cookie shoved the scientist back.

          “I have no issues answering whatever questions you may have. I have no shame in my claw or my past, but for Master’s sake! Don’t run up and start prodding at me like that!”

          Butter Roll Cookie was unresponsive. One hand sat beneath his chin, his smirk returning with each passing thought, while the other held the confused little cookie. The little cookie whimpered and patted at his face.

          “Oh right! My cookie still needs breakfast!” Butter Roll Cookie held the little cookie tighter; the little cookie smiled. “But hey! New guy! When you have a minute, come down to the laboratorium! I want to give you a full examination!”

          Then Butter Roll Cookie strode right back out the way he came.

          “Rude!” Licorice Cookie huffed. “Where does that guy get off on acting like that!? He knows he’s our prisoner, right?”

          “Mmmm mmm…mmm mmm. Mmmmphf!”

          Licorice Cookie uncovered Poison Mushroom Cookie’s mouth.

          “-is just being reeeeally friendly! I like friends. Maybe we should…should all eat shroomies together!”

          “Something like that.” Red Velvet Cookie gave a soft sigh. “Well, I should see how Matcha Cookie’s doing. Then find some way to contribute until our master returns…and I suppose a proper medical examination wouldn’t hurt, if only to be sure I’m at full health.”

          “Anything to put off telling Pomegranate Cookie you’re here?”

          Licorice Cookie and Red Velvet Cookie shared the same grimace.

          “Of course, Licorice Cookie, anything to avoid that.”

═══════════

          Checking on Matcha Cookie didn’t take anywhere near as long as Red Velvet Cookie had hoped. Matcha Cookie, who was being held in the treasury for the time being, refused to mutter a single word in Red Velvet Cookie’s presence. She’d stuck out her tongue, crossed her arms, hurled silver spoons in his general direction; however, no matter how gently he spoke, Matcha Cookie kept her mouth pouted shut. Schwarzwälder was almost impressed.

          “For being the guy saved her from getting soaked, you’re sure getting the cold shoulder!” He turned the door’s hefty deadbolt in place and double checked for any leaf-sized gaps. “HEY! YOU BETTER NOT TRY ANYTHING IN THERE! DARK ENCHANTRESS COOKIE OR NO, I CAN STILL MAKE YOU WISH YOU’D NEVER BEEN BAKED!”

          Schwarzwälder kicked the door just to be sure the prisoner got the message.

          “I’ll try again later.” Red Velvet Cookie shook his head. “For now, could you direct me to the laboratorium? The layout’s changed a lot since the last time I was here. I wandered into the sewers just looking for my old room.”

          “HA! You got me and my digging to thank for that! Right this way!”

          Red Velvet Cookie kept a swift pace by Schwarzwälder’s side, tracking every new door and passageway as they went.

          “By the way…how have things been between you and Licorice Cookie?”

          “I KNEW IT! I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE WRITTEN ANYTHING!” Smoke seemed to billow up from Schwarzwälder’s snout.

          “Esterhazy didn’t tell me anything from your letters, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

          “…you sure?”

          “I’m sure. I did notice the increase in your correspondence, but I’ve always been concerned that…well, you don’t refer to Licorice Cookie as your master anymore, do you?”

          “NO WAY! I mean…of course not! That was a thing I did when I was a pup! Lots of cakes do that!”

          “And he hasn’t had any issues with it?”

          “NO! I mean…it’s not like I’ve called him anything lately. Not many missions…and lots of training to do! We’re both busy and…now I gotta make more dummies…” Even though the last line was muttered, it was impossible for Schwarzwälder’s voice to drop below average cookie volume. Red Velvet Cookie frowned.

          “Schwarzwälder…”

          “HERE! THE LAB PLACE!” Schwarzwälder threw the doors open with a bang–it was the exclamation point to end their conversation.

          The lab assistants jumped. Two of them tossed their cookie cutters into the air while a third nearly fell into the giant mixing bowl. Only Butter Roll Cookie didn’t flinch. He was busy tapping the little cookie’s knees with a small rubber hammer. When the doors opened, the little cookie began kicking regardless of the hammer.

          “Sha-co-bru-er!” The little cookie flailed a hand at Schwarzwälder. “Shacobruer! Shacobruer!”

          “HUH!?”

           “I believe the vessel is trying to say both of your names at once.” Said Red Velvet Cookie.

          “Now that’s an impressive memory!” Butter Roll Cookie ruffled the little cookie’s hair frosting. “We’ll have to get my cookie started with some educational materials. I’m dying to know how quickly it’ll work through them!”

          “Buh-woll!” The little cookie cooed.

          Butter Roll Cookie cleared his throat.

          “All right everyone! It’s about time for a lunch break! Take a breather and come back in about an hour!”

          The lab assistants cleaned up quickly and left with a few lines of gratitude towards their amazing boss.

          “I hate to ask this, but could you keep an eye on my cookie for bit? I wouldn’t want it to get hurt while I’m working.” Butter Roll Cookie held the little cookie out to Schwarzwälder.

          “Oh! Uh, yeah! Why not?”

           “Shacobruer!” The little cookie shouted into the warm chocolate fluff of Schwarzwälder’s arms. In return, Schwarzwälder scratched the little cookie’s head.

          “Now! Onto the examination!” Butter Roll Cookie swiped his mitted arm across the counter, shoving empty vials and research notes into a precarious pile. “Have a seat up here! I want to collect a few samples and double check that seam!”

          Red Velvet Cookie obliged, leaving his cake claw resting on the counter beside him. With a small grater, Butter Roll Cookie scrapped crumbs from both the cake claw and the connected shoulder into plastic baggies. He used an odd metal gauge to check the grip of each individual joint and nearly broke the machine in the process. He pulled over a magnifying lens and carefully examined every pale scar between the doughs, then he scratched notes and rough diagrams onto the only blank page left in a year-old lab journal.

          “By the way, you were there when my cookie started talking, right?” Butter Roll Cookie lifted the cake claw to inspect the underside. “Any idea what triggered it?”

          “I’m afraid I don’t. The vessel was already shouting when I arrived. It was how I found Matcha Cookie before she– “

          “Matcha Cookie was there too? I’m not even surprised!” Butter Roll Cookie chuckled. “I suppose that’ll be another item for the list of things I can’t get her to talk to me about.”

          “Don’t take it too personally. Matcha Cookie has always been like that, ever since she was first baked.”

          “You were there?”

          “Yes. It was back in the early days of our master’s research, before the other cookies joined our cause.” Red Velvet Cookie’s gaze wandered to the oven, its crimson warmth reflecting his blue candy eye. “Matcha Cookie was fully grown, nothing like the vessel you created, but she still acted like a child. Her legs wouldn’t move where she wanted them and started making sounds, as if she wanted to speak but didn’t know the words.”

          “Was that because of her missing ingredient?”

          “I…couldn’t say. I don’t know much about the cookie baking process.” Red Velvet Cookie leaned back on his cookie hand. “The only time I’ve ever seen Matcha Cookie happy was when Master first spoke to her. She scrambled towards our Master, screaming with happiness until she saw me hiding behind Master’s legs and…” His eyes fell to the ground. “It vanished. She just stood there, glaring at me. At first, I thought I had frightened her, but the same thing happened when she met Pomegranate Cookie. And Licorice Cookie, Schwarzwälder, Poison Mushroom Cookie… every time we gained an ally, she would become angry and despondent. Even when we had the Vanilla Castle, Master ordered her to remain here alone to watch over the base. The rest of us only made her miserable. I can’t imagine how hard it must be now that everyone’s moved in.”

          “Hm...”  Butter Roll Cookie paused to scratch his chin. “I’d already theorized some kind of prebaked immaturity had contributed to her personality disorder. The mumbling, the anti-social behaviors…without the stability of a baby dough state or the immense magic of witches, of course a cookie would come out half-baked. She shouldn’t even have been possible, especially with an ingredient missing! But what is her dough missing!? And what does she have that allows her to function regardless…?”

          “She’s not half-baked.” Red Velvet’s brow furrowed. “Isn’t your job to bake the beast vessels? I don’t believe analyzing Matcha Cookie’s anatomy is particularly relevant.”

          “Maybe. We’ll just have to see, won’t we?” Butter Roll Cookie jotted a few more notes and released Red Velvet Cookie’s arm. “And on that note, after a full inspection, it looks like your injury is as fresh as I theorized! I’m positive we’ll be able to do it!”

          “…do it? I thought this was just an examination?”

          “Of course! I wouldn’t jump into any procedure without a full examination! You’re incredibly lucky to have stopped by when you did! I was just considering cleaning out the freezer.”

          “I’m…not sure what you’re talking about.”

          Butter Roll Cookie was already on the far side of the labratorium, possibly out of earshot. He squatted in front of a desk and began pulling out and stacking the boxes underneath it. Red Velvet Cookie looked back at Schwarzwälder for some kind of explanation, but the werehound has fallen into a game of peek-a-boo with the little cookie. When Schwarzwälder revealed his toothy grin, the little cookie eagerly answered: “eekaoo!”

          “If only all cookies could be so accepting.” Red Velvet Cookie murmured.

          His distraction ended when Butter Roll Cookie returned with a large box in hand. It was about the size of a table lamp and made from a cloudy plastic.

          “Here! Tell me what you think.”

          Red Velvet Cookie’s knees shivered when the frozen box was set upon them. Its metal latch, frozen shut, required a bit of force. The biting stench of alcohol rose from the box in a cloud. Red Velvet Cookie coughed and squinted his eyes against the blast of chemicals.

          “Ulgh…what is this… “

          His eyes shot back open.

           It was an arm–a cookie arm–tucked tightly into a bed of blueberry gel. Its dough was a blend of chestnut brown and icicle grey, stiff from its frozen confinement, with a hand trapped in a vengeful fist. Where the rest of the cookie should have been, the arm had been sealed shut with a bundle of plastic wrap and a little orange twist tag.

          Red Velvet Cookie yelped. The box slipped from his lap.

          “Hey! Careful! That’s the only one I have!” The box dropped into Butter Roll Cookie’s hands. “I know the color’s a little off, but it’s a pretty close match. The discoloration should fade a bit once there’s fresh jam circulating through it. And don’t worry about the size. I’ll be able to add an extra inch at the shoulder with some additional dough. It’ll be good as new!”

          Red Velvet Cookie mouth hung ajar. Staring at the box didn’t make it disappear, so he was left to wrap his head around the situation. Why is there an arm in a box? What is this scientist talking about. Do the others know there’s an arm in a box? Why is he even showing me this? The puzzle pieces clicked together slower than he would have liked. The solution was marked with a snarl.

          “You…want to replace my claw!?”

          “Oh it’s no trouble, really! Happy to help!” Butter Roll Cookie rubbed his chin. “I’m a bit excited actually! I haven’t had a chance to graft a complete ligament before!”

          “To what!?”

          “Grafting! That’s just a part of the surgical procedure! You use grafting to balance out the ingredients so there’s no mutations when the doughs converge, then you reconnect the jam vessels and wait for it to heal! The recovery period shouldn’t be more than a few weeks given how well-preserved your injury is. It’s lucky you’re already planning to hang around for a– “

          The precarious piles of lab supplies scattered to the floor as Red Velvet cookie stood on the counter. His gaze burned down on the scientist.

          “I don’t think you understand. I have no intention of having my claw replaced.”

          Butter Roll Cookie blinked.

          Red Velvet Cookie did not.

          Butter Roll Cookie blinked again.

          “Oh! If you’re worried about the procedure, you don’t need to be!” Butter Roll Cookie beamed. “I’ve done it dozens of times! When I say I haven’t done it on that scale, that doesn’t mean I don’t have experience! See for yourself!”

          He reached for the oven mitt over his right hand and gave it a quick tug.

           The shape beneath the mitt was roughly matched Butter Roll Cookie’s other arm…but it wasn’t. The hand was split into segments of dark chocolate, creamy orange, speckled cinnamon, and honey glazed dough that wriggled at differing lengths. A swatch of pale sugar cookie coated the thumb. A powdered sugar streak started at his wrist, then ran like a highway between hills of peanut butter and scaley oatmeal batters until disappearing behind his rolled-up sleeve.

          “See? I have complete dexterity in my hand! All the nerves are fully connected.” Butter Roll Cookie wriggled the segments again. Each time a “finger” curled, Red Velvet Cookie’s eye twitched.

           “It’d be even simpler for you arm, since I’d be replacing the entire thing instead of bits and pieces. And– “

          “WHAT KIND OF FREAK COOKIE SKIN RASH IS THAT!?!?” Schwarzwälder was at the counter in two steps, the little cookie now hanging like a possum on his back.

          Butter Roll Cookie’s starry-eyes flickered.

          “It’s…not a skin rash.” The stars didn’t flicker for long. “Just some grafting practice from my Parfaedia Days! They don’t let anyone work with live cookies until their senior year, so I improvised! My excess butter turned out to be quite resilient and with a little work, I could combine it with just about any ingredient”

          “You just went around sticking spare cookie dough to yourself? Doesn’t sound like the brightest idea.”

          “Those experiments happen to be some of my proudest achievements! Cookie surgery isn’t exactly a cakewalk. I lost a few nerves along the way, but that’s just part of the process! It’s good to know how to fix what’s broken on a cookie, I say! Not that I can fix everything, of course. There’s no procedure for fixing that black eye, I’m afraid, but listen to me prattle on! One operation at a time, right?” He waved the words away with his odd appendage before slipping his oven mitt back over it. “After all, I still have an arm to fix! Let me just get some anesthetic and– “

          “HUH!? Arm fixed!? Schwarzwälder looked at Red Velvet Cookie, who was still glaring down from the counter. “What’s he talking about!? Is somethin’ wrong with your arm!?”

          Butter Roll Cookie raised his eyebrow.

          “Isn’t it obvious?"

          Schwarzwälder squinted. He tilted his head. The little cookie did the same.

          “Apparently only to you.” Red Velvet Cookie leapt down from the counter, much to Butter Roll Cookie’s surprise.

          “Hey! What are-“

          “I hope you’re going to listen to me this time because I am not going to repeat myself.” When Red Velvet Cookie raised his claw, it loomed above Butter Roll Cookie like a rising forest fire. “This a gift from my master, a bond with my brothers, and a vow to create a better world for all of us. This is not some deformity. And I am not some lab experiment for you to practice on!”

          “But–“

          The claw slashed downward; Butter Roll Cookie flinched against a blow that didn’t come.

          “Your only purpose here is to create the beast vessels.” Red Velvet Cookie spat as he lowered his claw. “I suggest you keep focused on that and never give me a reason to step foot in here again.”

          Red Velvet Cookie claw remined clenched at his side as he strode from the labratorium, leaving the cold bite of his words behind him.

          “HUH!? Hey! Red Velvet Cookie!”

          Suddenly, Schwarzwälder felt the weight on his back disappear. When he turned around, the little cookie was nestled in Butter Roll Cookie’s arms, babbling his name.

          The smile on the little cookie’s face was a stark contrast to Butter Roll Cookie. His mouth had dropped to a thin line. His button eyes were blank, the brow between them slightly furrowed, as they followed Red Velvet Cookie from the room.

          The instant Red Velvet Cookie left, the lights in Butter Roll Cookie’s eye flipped back on.

          “Well! I suppose that’s my schedule cleared! How’s my cookie feel about getting some speech practice in!” Butter Roll Cookie lifted the little cookie in the air, much to the little cookie’s delight, and strolled off to the far side of the laboratorium.

          “HUUUH!?” Schwarzwälder looked back and forth between Butter Roll Cookie and the metal door. After shaking the loose thoughts in his head a bit, he chose the door. Red Velvet Cookie was already halfway down the hall, striding with the stiffness of a military general.

          “What was all that about!?!?” The pieces of the conversation he’d half heard were still coming together. “Was…was that about your arm!? WAIT! NO WAY! WAS HE SAYING–“

          “I know that look.” Red Velvet Cookie’s pace didn’t slow for a second. “It’s the same look those gnats from the Pastry’s Order give me–the look they give Chiffon and Esterhazy and all the other cakes–right before they start firing their forks.”

          Schwarzwälder growled.

          “So that’s how he thinks, huh? GAH! HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT!? He’s been here for months!”

          “Cookies who truly pride themselves on being pretty and perfect rarely reveal their true colors.” Red Velvet Cookie was on the verge of growling himself. “Regardless of how he carries himself, he’s not one of us. There’s no way a someone like that would have any interest in the world we’re creating.”

          “I’LL SAY!” Schwarzwälder raised his claw with a grin. “We oughta go back and scratch up that snarky face of his! That’d show him!”

          Red Velvet Cookie stopped midstep.

          “…no. We can’t. Our master wanted him here. She needs him for her plans.”

          “Oh…” Schwarzwälder shoulders hung. “So…what then?”

          “Then…” Red Velvet Cookie put a thoughtful claw to his chin. With his eyes closed, he pondered until his fury faded from burning hot to icy cold. “Then I must speak to our Master about him as soon as possible. Perhaps there’s some other scientist who could handle the vessel construction.” He opened his cake eye. “Have any of you been in contact with our Master since she left?”

          “…”

          “Pomegranate Cookie’s the only one who’s been in contact, hasn’t she?”

          Schwarzwälder gave a short nod.

          “Yeah, her and her fancy divination stuff. I don’t know if anyone else’s gotta clue how to do it, but she’s the only cookie making calls…and she’s sure not telling much of anything!”

          “So much for avoiding a conversation then.” Red Velvet Cookie sighed. “Thank you for your help. I should be able to find her room from here. I’ll…just have to convince her to contact our Master for me. Somehow.”

          “How ya gonna manage that when she hates your jam!? It’s not she’ll care that he looks down on–”

          “She’ll care because it’s more than that.” Red Velvet Cookie looked down at his cookie arm. The crust was coated in scars, a patchwork from countless battles he’d waged. He’d even lost a chunk of his thumb to Cookieberus back when the beast had been a mere pup afraid of his own shadow.

          The arm from Butter Roll Cookie’s box wasn’t pristine either. There’d been scorch marks on its fingertips and chemical burns on its wrist–marks of some other cookie’s life.

          And that arm had been buried away in a hidden freezer, left unopened until all the other scientists had left.

          Where had that arm come from anyway? Did anyone even know to ask?

          “She’ll care because cookies like that are ticking timebombs.” He tightened his cookie fist. His cake claws twitched, aching for something to tear into. “And if we continue to let him act as he pleases, he could be a risk to everything we’ve worked for.”

          “That’s a good place to stop.” Baguette Cookie tapped one of the time recorder’s keys. The printer froze halfway into the next section, right down to the milliseconds.

          “Wh-what!? Stop! We can’t stop now! I mean…why are we stopping!? I mean…” Coffee Candy Cookie’s pigtails bounced viciously as she shook her head. “Chapter 3, section 4: Never demand an explanation or force a question, especially to one’s supervisor, right? Sorry…”

          Baguette Cookie gave a quick nod.

          “What I mean is, that section is good place to pause, to catch our breath over a cup of coffee.” She slipped the printed scroll onto a nearby peg. With a flick of her hand, the report rolled until it wound as tightly as a strip of saran wrap. “My instincts tell me that the plot begins thickening here. If we don’t take a moment to refresh ourselves, there’s a chance we’ll miss some crucial details.”

          Her explanation wasn’t quite the truth, specifically in its use of the word we’ll. Baguette Cookie had mastered the art of the inconsistent sleep schedules, perfectly balancing her short and long shifts with her personal life more accurately than a scale without compromising her diet, social life, or occupation. Coffee Candy Cookie, on the other hand, had bruise-gray icing beneath her candy eyes and a glazed-over look that left her mouth slightly ajar between sentences.

          “Yes ma’am.” Coffee Candy Cooke’s lips barely moved as she hopped to her feet. “I’ll get us some coffee right awa-whoa!”

          The jam rushed to her legs. She teetered forward. She flailed her arms, trying to keep balance until finally grabbing Baguette Cookie’s arm for support.

          "Uh…I suppose I shouldn’t have sat with my legs crossed…” What she meant to follow with a few awkward chuckles was instead punctuated by a yawn. “Oh! Excuse me! I-“

          “Why don’t we both visit the breakroom? Perhaps stretch our legs?”

           Coffee Candy Cooke’s face burned red. She said nothing more as they left the Time Registry Department, stepped silently through halls, and entered the vacant employee breakroom. It was an empty spot at the busiest of shifts, with most employees favoring the cafeteria or the nearby restaurants, but it felt especially desolate at this hour. The electric candelabras flicked on as the door opened, illuminating the breakroom’s humble offerings: an embroidered green carpet, a pair of leather couches, a countertop of neatly-organized coffee and breakfast supplies, and a wall covered in clocks–-each set to a unique timeline–-ticking with eerie uniformity.

          “Ahhhh. That’s the stuff…that’s really the stuff.” One sip of her freshly brewed hazelnut latte and Coffee Candy Cookie became a puddle on the couch. “Sigh…on nights like this, I wish I was baked with caffeine.”

          “Was there none in your coffee candy?” Baguette Cookie swirled a single sugar cube into her black brew and joined her co-worker on the couch.

          “No. Doctor Bones Cookie says I’m all extract. Apparently, my alcohol levels even put me at risk for soggy syndrome.”

          “Hm.” Baguette Cookie affirmed as she took a long sip of coffee. She could have sworn that the doctor gave her a similar diagnosis for her lack of alcohol. Perhaps this was a sign to look into a less diagnosis eager health care provider.

          “Um, ma’am? I was wondering…would it be ok to ask more questions about the Kingdoms reality? If it’s not breaking the rules, I mean!”

          Baguette Cookie swirled her drink thoughtfully, taking a long look at Coffee Candy Cookie’s wide shining button eyes.

          “I can’t diverge too many details…” She said finally. “But for the sake of context, I may be able to clarify a few things.”

          The floodgates were opened.

          “Does the Kingdom reality have its own TBD? If it doesn’t, how does time function over there!? What are those beast cookies they keep talking about? How come some of the cookies in the Kingdoms reality show up in our records and others don’t? Do they not exist here? Are they referred to differently? Is Dark Enchantress Cookie still after the same things there, because it sounds like her minions are on opposite sides! Why aren’t the Choco Chess Cookie twins there!? Why is the little cookie growing so fast!? Is Butter Roll Cookie right about all that science stuff!? Does the life powder have anything to do with it!? And what about Matcha Cookie!? Does she really have a dough disorder!? Does she have one in our reality too!? And–”

          Baguette Cookie cleared her throat. Coffee Candy Cookie snapped her mouth shut.

          “First, there is no known division of the TBD within the Kingdoms reality nor have any members of the TBD been identified within it. Their time stream is unregulated, particularly prone to errors, and may serve as a hideout for certain time-traveling troublemakers. However, public information about the Kingdoms’ time flow is highly restricted. For all I’m aware, there could be a Kingdoms branch of the TBD that has simply chosen not to make contact with us. Only the director would know for certain.”

          Baguette Cookie took a long drink of coffee.

          “Information regarding the beast cookies is even more restricted. Whoever they are, it seems they hold an immense amount of power even in their weakened state. Cookies like them that alternate reality timelines are not monitored by our TRD. If even one cookie of such power suspected they were being watched, it would put our entire operation in jeopardy.”

          “Oh.” Coffee Candy Cookie’s head lowered, just a touch.

          “One more thing,” Baguette Cookie set her coffee down on the table and folded her hands. “And think a moment before you answer this: From what we’ve read in the time report so far, based on your understanding of timeline structure, what is the key moment that caused the series of events we’ve been reading through in the Kingdoms reality?”

          Coffee Candy Cookie’s head perked up instantly. Her notebook appeared in her hand, and she fanned through the notes like a series of flashcards. Her brow furrowed, her lips pierced, and all the exhaustion in her face washed away.

          “It’s…the werehound!” Her fingers snapped in a resounding eureka. “If he hadn’t shown up and stopped Matcha Cookie, the little cookie would have turned to crumbs! Then none of what we’ve been reading about would have happened!”

          “Are you certain?”

          Baguette Cookie read the blank look on Coffee Candy Cookie’s face clearly: I was certain until you asked that.

          “Would the little cookie’s existence stopped the cake tower’s destruction and kept Red Velvet Cookie from returning?”

          “Um…no?”

          “What about Dark Enchantress Cookie’s leaving? Did the little cookie affect that?”

          “N-no…”

          “Or Licorice Cookie’s Magic Candy training? Or his current difficulty with Schwarzwälder?”

          “…no.”

          “So why does the little cookie’s presence matter?”

          “Because! Because…” Coffee Candy Cookie’s face wrinkled like an old lemon, puckering from the weight of concentration before finally fizzling out. “I don’t know….”

          Baguette Cookie nodded.

          “Exactly my point.”

          “…”

          “Chapter 1, Section 2…”

          “All staff must observe, but not judge!”

          “And fragmented timelines like these are exactly why such a rule exists.” Baguette Cookie took a moment to take in both her thoughts and the sharp aftertaste of her final sip of coffee. “We at the TBD may have the freedom to see multiple facets of time, but we still process events chronologically. Thus, when one reads a certain section of the timeline, it’s easy to assume the junction one begins with is the inciting incident. In reality, any reality, circumstances are far more complex. They can involve insignificant details, chain reactions impossible for a cookie to detect, or be driven by events that far exceed the ability of even a thousand employees to read through. Even observing this period, there is a key difference between this timeline and traditional facets of this reality that would easily go ignored. And even I don’t know the full extent of this reality’s variations. The little cookie’s existence may be superfluous for all any of us know.”

          Her cup empty, Baguette Cookie dropped it into the nearby wastebin.

          “That’s why I hesitate to answer questions regarding absolute perspectives of our reading. We need to process this as objectively as possible. Personal opinions are inevitable, even invaluable at times, but in order to get to the bottom of this, we need to simply observe. Is that understandable?”

          She watched Coffee Candy Cookie’s reaction carefully. Explanations were always a delicate balance with new hires: too little and they might grow resentful, rebellious, and resign, but too much and they became lax, languishing, and left with a pink slip for poor behavior. For as long as she’d been handling new hires, the task never felt any easier.

          “It is. I understand.” Coffee Candy Cookie nodded. “And thank you for answering what you could. I do appreciate it.”

          The answer was so tactful that the ends of Baguette Cookie’s mouth raised higher than intended.

          “And I appreciate your discretion. Now, I believe we should return to our task.”

          “Right!” Coffee Candy chugged down the rest of her coffee and hurled the cup towards the wastebin. Then she embarrassedly scooped the cup off the floor and actually put it in the wastebin. “Back to work! But uh…Ma’am?”

          “Yes?”

          “Can I ask…what’s the key difference you noticed? The one between this timeline and the way this reality normally works, like you said. Is it…something you think caused this timeline to show up like this?”

          Baguette Cookie stood in such a way that her hair blocked the view to her face. This way, Coffee Candy Cookie couldn’t see the deep, thoughtful breath that was taken before the answer.

          “I once saw a map of the Kingdom Reality’s Earthbread.” She stated. “Only a small look, mind you, while I was waiting for a meeting with the Director. There were many differences between that map and ours: land shaped by alternate events, kingdoms that are merely empty land in our world, and the like. One such location I noted for its difference is Dark Enchantress Cookie’s lair….it was located in Beast-Yeast, specifically on a small, isolated island off the coast called the Island of Life.”

          “A small isolated….” As expected, Coffee Candy Cookie jumped straight into her notepad. “Wait! The Laboratorium isn’t on an island! It’s underground in the middle of Fairiewood, on the main continent, isn’t it!? And wait…wait…” She flipped through half a dozen more pages. “If the werehound was there to keep the fairies in Fairiewood away…he wouldn’t have had to be there if they were on a faraway island! Is that it!? Is that what–”

          Coffee Candy Cookie stopped halfway into another turning page. Her hand wrinkled the page. With a single flick, she pulled out her notepad, jotted a quick note, and returned the notepad to her pocket.

          “It is curious…but we can’t make judgements. Definitely not this soon. Right?”

          “Hm…I agree.” There it was, that sneaky ghost of a smile haunting Baguette Cookie’s face again. “After all, who knows what could have caused a change of base like that…or how far the weight of that choice might really spread….”

═══════════

          This wasn’t the first time Silverbell Cookie had wandered the cozy caverns of the Faerie Library nor would it be the last. He’d hovered over its mirror-like floors, curved around shelves of scrolls, and peeked through the gentle beams of the bellflower lanterns more times than he could count. And sure enough, his search led him to the very same corner of the library it always did.

          “There you are White Lily Cookie!”

          “…”

          “White Lily Cookie? Hello?”

          “…”

          “WHITE LILY COOKIE!”

          The shout finally drew her eyes from the scales of Beastly Botany: The Second Sonnet and onto the winged boy in hovering over her.

          “Oh. Silverbell Cookie.” She ran a hand through her hair. “You’ve been here for a while, haven’t you?”

          “Not too long. Not more than a few beats.” He landed on the ground beside her. “Here for a research break? You know, you’re the only cookie I know who thinks research is break.”

          White Lily Cookie smiled sheepishly.

          “Actually, this isn’t even really a break. I’m looking for something that might explain those wild dough monsters.”

           Silverbell Cookie’s wings fluttered anxiously. It’d been a few weeks since he’d spotted those creatures lumbering down the silver stream, but they remained fresh in his mind. Each was about the size of a jelly tardigrade, made from a putrid, sticky dough that smelled like the underground swamps. When he’d flown in for a closer look, looming black gaps appeared in the dough and followed him as he circled the creature. A face? That’d been his first thought, but its expression was permanently vacant. He’d shrugged the creatures off at first, returning to his route without another thought. When he returned to the entrance of the Faerie Kingdom, however, he nearly had a heart attack. Somehow, the dough monsters followed him all the way back to the gates!

          The Faerie Knights were called in at once to drive the monsters away, but the creatures were shockingly resilient. Faerie glaives passed painlessly through the vile dough and only the strongest magic seemed to even phase the monsters. Communication was out of the question, as was bringing them into the Faerie Kingdom. In the end, White Lily Cookie ordered a pen be built a safe distance from the kingdom and guards be placed to oversee the creatures until she could learn more.

          “Do you really think there’s a clue in a botany sonnet?” He asked. “I’ve never heard anything about these dough creatures before. Not in a sonnet or a carol or ballad or any song we have written down.”

          “I have.”

          Silverbell Cookie’s wings stiffened.

          “You…you have!? When!?”

          “Back when I was still an academy student. It’s a common knowledge in Cookiology when raw dough–dough separated from its original dessert–contains high volumes of life powder, it can become semi-sentient. There was even an incident once. We visited a medical facility to observe a sweetheart transplant and had to evacuate when some of the removed dough samples attacked the observation window.”

          As White Lily Cookie spoke, Silverbell Cookie scooted closer. It wasn’t every day White Lily Cookie talked about her time before coming to Beast Yeast.

          “But those were different…they were vicious and thrashed at everything that moved. These dough monsters are completely docile.” White Lily Cookie ran her hands over a few notes. “I thought maybe the bacteria that turned their dough green has soporific properties, but it doesn’t sound like it. If anything, the swamp water should have made them more hostile.”

          “Everything’s hostile in Beast-Yeast.” Silverbell laughed. So did White Lily Cookie.

          “And it’s not only the passivity. Sentient dough tends to clump together. That’s the nature of life: to find a purpose or a sort of completeness. Without a gummy brain or a sweetheart, I’d expect the dough monsters to eventually merge with one another.”

          The idea of some smelly behemoth megadough thrashing through the silver woods made Silverbell Cookie shudder.

          “But while I was observing them yesterday, they didn’t make any effort to conjoin. When segments of dripping dough fell off, other monsters absorbed them, but that was all. No fight, no thought, just blindly following the guards around the pen: they were like…walking crumbs.”

          White Lily Cookie hung her head with a small, wispy sigh.

          “Alive without living. I can’t even imagine such a terrible fate.”

          “Maybe it isn’t so bad.” Silverbell Cookie gave a cautious smile. “It’s not like they know they’re not living like they’re supposed to.”

          “Maybe…”

          White Lily Cookie’s eyes drifted towards the window, out to the faint shapes of tangulu flowers and twisted silver trees, then she stared further, much further than the barrier would allow. Silverbell Cookie rested his head on his knees. Her thoughts would gather soon enough.

          “Do you remember back when I first came here?” She said at last. “When you’d come looking for me in the library and find me in a spot you said you’d searched already?”

          “I remember that.” Silverbell Cookie smirked. “You’d say ‘But I was here the whole time!’ and I’d say ‘Did you turn invisible!?’ and you’d say–“

          “I wasn’t here.”

          Silverbell Cookie’s smirk fell into a line.

          “Books from the outside aren’t allowed in the Faerie Kingdom. So when I wanted to cross reference a scroll with a book I’d–“

          “You didn’t!”

          “I did…” White Lily Cookie gave a weak chuckle. “I hope you’re not too mad at me for lying.”

          Silverbell Cookie grumbled, but only for a moment.

          “No one could be mad at you, White Lily Cookie, but where did you take the scrolls to? There’s not any safe place to read in the silver woods.”

          “But there was. I found it on the very first day I came to Beast-Yeast, before we met. I followed a flow of spores until I found a cave hidden beneath the shade of a huge sugar stone. It was the perfect place to make camp, quiet and hidden and alive.”

          “Alive?”

          “Not the cave, exactly.” White Lily Cookie eyes strained out the window, staring at nothing and seeing only her memories. “But there were vines, gentle vines crawling over the stones. There was moss and lichen and the distant ripple of an underground stream I couldn’t reach. There were even flowers, tiny white flowers with soft round petals and little yellow centers that smelled just like my favorite tea. You could feel it all around you. Nothing spoke or moved, but it all lived. That place was life itself.”

          She took a long breath, as if she could smell the flowers even now.

          “Everything deserves to live. Everything deserves purpose, a real reason to exist. If even the flowers can live, then those dough monsters should live as well. And if they don’t, isn’t forcing their existence cruel?”

          Once again, Silverbell Cookie found himself shuddering. Though, perhaps not for reason White Lily Cookie would have wanted.

          “So…what does that mean? What do you want to do with the dough monsters?”

          “I don’t know.” White Lily Cookie lowered her gaze, returning to the scroll and the present moment at last. “Nothing yet. Nothing until I’m sure of what they are or where they come from.”

          “I can help with that.” Silverbell Cookie hopped to his feet. “We all can. We’ll find out everything we can for you, White Lily Cookie! And I’m sure once we do, whatever choice you make will be the right one.”

          “Thank you.” Her gratitude was tinged with sadness, but he had no chance to ask. Not when White Lily Cookie was already rolling up her scroll and returning it to the shelf. “I’ll call some of the knights to do the same.”

          “Of course, White Lily Cookie! We’ll get started right away!” With a final salute, Silverbell Cookie swooped around the corner, out of the library and out of sight. White Lily Cookie waited until his wing beats were out of earshot. Then she stepped up to the window and leaned over the side. The silver smell was so sharp that it cut her tongue; the fragrance of the sugar flowers did nothing to soften it. The breeze rustled against her hair. She closed her eyes one last time to see the tea flowers, the damp stones, the life that ran so thickly one could swim through it. Even if she’d had the time to visit it, even if she didn’t have a kingdom to rule and a seal to protect, she’d long since forgotten where the cave was. Her one sanctuary of solitude was now only an escape in her memory.

          “Where are you…why can’t I remember where you are…” She whispered into the breeze. “Did she… take that from me too?”

          The breeze did not reply.

     The licorice drops worked wonders on Licorice Cookie’s Magic Candy. With just a handful infused into the artifact, the great fiery slaughter of straw dummies had become a distant memory. The extra-dense licorice regulated the ancient power, and now there was no fear of accidentally using too much magic at once.

          In fact, the licorice drops worked a little too well. Instead of tiptoeing around his magical output, Licorice Cookie found that squeezing magic from his scythe felt more like juicing a raisin. He could barely cast a single spell, let alone a curse!

          “Why didn’t that pipsqueak leave instructions for how to use this stuff!?” He threw his scythe to the ground with a loud clang, swiped up the cup he’d left on a nearby weight shelf, and swallowed half of its tepid contents in a single gulp.

          “Bleeach!” He gagged at the bitterness. “All right…three didn’t work so…three and a half? Can you even split these in half? How much power would that be?”

          Licorice Cookie dug another licorice drop from his pocket. With a gleam of dark magic, the drop passed smoothly into the magic candy. He shook it once to make sure it was secure.

          “Well, it’s all “trial-and-error” anyways. Tch! How is it that twerp sound even more smug in a letter!? Those goody-goody cookies are better not rubbing off on-HEY! HEY!”

          Licorice Cookie yanked back his pendant before the invading purple mushroom made contact.

          “Awww c’mon Licorice Cookie! It’ll help! Shroomies always help!”

          “No! I’ve told you a hundred times, Poison Mushroom Cookie, and the answer’s still no! This thing is way too powerful for you to mess with!”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie pouted.

          “But it’ll help! I promise! It’ll be sooo cool.”

          “I said–“

           “Can I hold the magic candy, Licorice!?

           The new voice jumped out from behind Licorice Cookie, and he nearly spilled his drink.

          “Of course not! And I said for you not to sneak up on me like that you…You!”

          Licorice Cookie waved his fist down at the little cookie, who wasn’t quite as little as before. Even with smaller arms and legs than average, the little cookie stood almost as tall as Poison Mushroom Cookie (if one didn’t count the mushroom cap). What had been a bald head was now covered in nice, rounded dollops of chocolate icing, the same color as the little cookie’s candy button eyes. The clothes had been some trouble. Even if the little cookie was just an experiment, it was decided that some attention to decency was required. Luckily, Affagato Cookie knew how to use a needle and had put together a simple shirt and a pair of pants using a few old lab coats. It was all the little cookie really needed.

          “Ulgh…you two have far too much energy.” Affagato entered the training room slightly out of breath. “Oh, good afternoon, Licorice Cookie. Still training with that candy?”

          “Yeah, and it’s still a pain as always.” He grumbled, again his candy again out of the reach of Poison Mushroom Cookie’s shroomies. The little cookie giggled. “Hey wait! What are you doing with these twerps? Isn’t Pomegranate Cookie supposed to be with Poison Mushroom Cookie?”

          Affagato Cookie replied with a strained smile.

          “I’ve been reassigned today! Pomegranate Cookie is having some kind of discussion with Red Velvet Cookie, and as Poison Mushroom Cookie cannot be left unattended with the little one…the task of supervising them both has fallen to me.”

          He glanced at the two small cookies as they ran circles around the only remaining straw dummy. The little cookie screamed in the most painful note imaginable.

          “But…I suppose it’s only fair…considering how I-”

          “Fell asleep and lost the twerp last time?”

          “…”

          “Well, that’s your mistake, not mine! Get these two out of here and keep them out! I’m having a hard enough time with this piece of junk without them being pests!” Licorice Cookie took another gulp of his drink and shuddered. “Ulgh…and while you’re at it, maybe try not to lose them down a waterfall? Who knows when our Master will be coming back!?”

          “Yes, yes, of course. My apologies for interrupting your…” Affagato Cookie sniffed. Then sniffed again just to be sure. “What’s that bitter smell? It’s…familiar.”

          “What smell? I don’t smell anything.”

          Affagato Cookie took a deep breath. He suddenly leaned forward and peered into Licorice Cookie’s cup.

          “Is that…are you drinking boiled dark cacao beans!?”

          “NO!” Licorice Cookie yanked the cup behind him. “I mean…definitely no! It’s not!”

          “But it is! I’d know that it burnt stench anywhere! You couldn’t step outside the inner citadel without passing a squadron of archers brewing it to death in those rusted campfire pots. It was vile! I can’t believe you actually like that disgusting show of stoicism!”

          “I DON’T!” Licorice Cookie screeched. Then he cleared his throat. “I mean, I don’t like it! It’s gross! Completely gross! It’s just...it gets me in a training mood!”

          “I see.”

          “And everyone withing a hundred miles of that stupid Kingdom drank this stuff! The Milk tribe, the Licorice tribe, the Caramel tribe…they practically brainwash cookies into drinking it!”

          “Of course.”

          “And you know all that already! I know you already know all that! So why do you keep making that face!?”

          “I’m afraid I’m not sure what you’re referring to.”

          “The smug face you’re making right now! The one that says you’re better than me!”

          “I’m making no expression of the sort. I was merely thinking back on how I never touched that vulgar brew.”

          “Oh yes you did! We all did! At one point or another, everyone-“

          “Perhaps everyone in your village but…frankly, I can’t recall ever having the urge to gargle burnt bean juice.”

          “I don’t gargle anything! Gah! You’ve gotten really cocky since you moved in with us, you know that!?”

          “Oh, excuse me! I meant no disrespect.”

          “What part of all that didn’t mean disrespect!?”

          “Pssst!” Poison Mushroom Cookie pulled on the little cookie’s sleeve. “Let’s go play hide-and-seek! We’ll hide, and they’ll seek!”

          The little cookie nodded. As the two older cookies continued their banter, the two younger ones scurried, hand-in-hand, out of the training room and down the nearest hall, giggling all the way.

          “Ok Poison! Where we gonna hide?”

          “Hmm…it’s gotta be somewhere good. Sneaky…where noooo one can find us.” Poison Mushroom Cookie turned around slowly to consider their options: a dark corner? The kitchen pantry? Affagato Cookie’s Room? A broom closet?

          “I know! I know!” The little cookie squealed and dashed around three sets of corners with Poison Mushroom Cookie close behind. Their destination was a black circle grate built into the floor. It was one of the many grates that allowed let excess rainwater drip harmlessly through the base and into the underground sewers.

          “Let’s hide in these pipes! Mama loves these spots!”

          “Ohhhh yes! But shhhhhhhh!”

           “Oh sorry!”

           Together, Poison Mushroom Cookie and the little cookie heaved aside the grate. Poison Mushroom Cookie went first, landing in the narrow pipe that stretched out in both directions. Then the little cookie tumbled in, bouncing off Poison Mushroom Cookie’s springy cap. The last step was to carefully pull the grate back into place. As small as the pipes were, there was plenty of room for the short cookies to sit comfortably with their backs to the moldy metal walls.

          “Heh heh….noooow we just wait for them to find us!”

          “But they won’t! They’re too silly, and we’re too smart!”

          “And then we jump up and…surprise them! With shrooooomies!”

          “No, not with shroomies!” The little cookie’s arms crossed. “Butter Roll says no shroomies!”

          “Wha!? Not even one…teeeeny shroomie?”

          “No!”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie wailed in betrayal but quickly recovered.

          “Oooookay. We’ll just surprise them! Aaaaany minute now.”

          The two small cookies stared at the metal grate above them. Their legs bounced in excitement, their giggles fluttering in their tummies. And they waited.

          They waited.

          They waited.

          And then they waited.

          And then…

          There was more waiting.

          “They’re taking a long time.” The little cookie pouted. “Do you think they forgot about us?”

          “Nooooo. My friends never forget about me.” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s feet clanged against the metal, and the sound echoed all around them before running off into the pipes.

          “So, they won’t forget you too.”

          “That’s good! I still gotta do testing with Butter Roll later.”

          “You’re talking funny again…” Poison Mushroom Cookie giggled. “You’re saying…Butter Roll…not Butter Roll Cookie.”

          The little cookie’s cheeks turned rosy.

          “Ah! Sorry! I keep trying to remember.” The little cookie’s head smacked against the metal–CLANG CLANG–as if that would keep the memories in. “It just feels so funny to say. I mean…aren’t we all cookies?”

          “Yeah! That’s why we say… COOKIE! At the end. For all the cookies.”

          “But-“

          “And! And…Schar….shuz…he’s a cake! Not a cookie…so we don’t say COOKIE! At the end.”

          “So why don’t we call him Schwarzwälder Cake? Or… Choco Werehound Brute Cake?”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie gave a long, slow blink.

          “Cause we don’t.”

          “…”

          “…”

          “…sorry. I don’t know why it feels so silly in my brain.”

          “Aw, that’s ok.” Poison Mushroom Cookie scooted closer and patted the little cookie’s head. “You’re just a little baby cookie!”

          “I’m not a baby! I’m a big cookie now!” The little cookie huffed.

          “Yeah? But… then what’s yooooour name? Big cookies gotta have a name… with “COOKIE” at the end of it.”

          The little cookie’s face scrunched up for a moment, then straightened into a proud smile.

          “I do gotta name! It’s MyCookie!”

          “MyCookie?”

          “Yup! Butter Roll says… I mean! Butter Roll Cookie says so! He says, “Look at how good MyCookie is doing!” and “It’s time for MyCookie’s cogglative devebroment” and stuff like that, right? So that’s my name. MyCookie!”

          “Ohhhhhh! Oh yeah! He does say that stuff.” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s hands flew up in celebration. “Hoorah! It’s nice to meet you, MyCookie!”

          MyCookie grinned even brighter.

          “Now…we gotta celebrate! Wiiiiith…” A technicolored mushroom appeared in Poison Mushroom Cookie’s hands. “My super special rainbow shroomie!”

          MyCookie pouted.

          “No! Shroomies!”

          “But it’s speeeecial! You gotta name now! We gotta have shroomies!”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie poked the edges of MyCookie’s mouth, but MyCookie scootched away.

          “No!”

          “But you never even haaaad a shroomie!” Poison Mushroom Cookie sniffled. “It’s too sad! No shroomies!? Ever!?”

          “Butter Roll Cookie says no! And Pomegranate too! And Licorice, he says no too! And Affagato says no! And no means no!”

          “But…” Poison Mushroom sniffled back the tears. “What if…what if the shroomie is…suuuuper important?”

          MyCookie was listening.

          “You still gotta grow into a really big cookie, right? One who remembers to say “COOKIE” all the time? One that’s all perfect, so they can make baby beast cookies!?”

          MyCookie…nodded.

          “Well, maybe the problem isn’t tests. Maybe it’s that…you need a shroomie!” Again, the rainbow shroomie prodded the side of MyCookie’s mouth. “You don’t know unless you try it, yeah? And it’ll make you happy! You’ll see…aaaaaaaall the pretty things! The rainbows…and the sleepy choo choos…and the great big cookies with the funny colored faces! And the swiiiirling spinny things! And the wiggly touchy bits! And then, maybe, maybe you’ll be all good? And um…more perfect-er!“

          “I…I don’t know…” MyCookie looked for someone to object. Usually by point, there was always someone saying NO in a really tired voice or bopping Poison Mushroom Cookie on the head. Right now, there were only the metal pipes and Poison Mushroom Cookie’s temptation.

          “Pleeeeeeease!” All of a sudden, Poison Mushroom Cookie’s eyes swelled into two shimmering pools of puppy-dog pleading. “Please please please pleeeeeease! Just one….oooooooone lil bite won’t hurt. Juuuust one? It’ll make you feeeel all nice! And happy! And...perfectery! Pleeeeeease?”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie wouldn’t let up and squished the rainbow shroomie into the little cookie’s hands.

          No shroomies. That was the rule. That was always the rule, ever since being baked.

          But…what if they did help with developing somehow? MyCookie was a very special cookie, after all. Everyone said so. Even Licorice! How would anyone know if shroomies would be bad for MyCookie if no one ever let the cookie try?

          And wouldn’t it be great if they did? Maybe the shroomies could help with remembering cookie names at the very least? And at the very most, maybe messing with shroomies might bring out some new thing about MyCookie’s dough! Maybe the very thing Butter Roll was always talking about, the one that would make all the beasts and make cookiekind great and make Butter Roll and everyone else very, very happy.

          All these thoughts ran through MyCookie’s head as loudly as Poison Mushroom Cookie’s begging ran through MyCookie’s ears.

          “Pleeeease! Please please please please-!”

          “Ok!”

          “Pleee-Really!? You will! Hooray!” Poison Mushroom Cookie tossed the rainbow mushroom in the air. It bumped against the metal and landed neatly in MyCookie’s hands. “Shroo-mie-time! Shroo-mie-time!”

          MyCookie took a long look at the mushroom. Now that it was being held, it didn’t really seem that scary. Sorta like a big colorful slice of caramelon.

          “Ok…here I go.”

          The tender mushroom easily broke beneath the mouth full of baby toothcing and remained soft as it was chewed: squish, squish. As Poison Mushroom Cookie cheered, now rocking back and forth with excitement, MyCookie’s mouth tried to define what flavor it was being subjected to. It wasn’t sweet. It wasn’t sour. It wasn’t bitter. It wasn’t savory. It wasn’t spicy. It wasn’t salty. It wasn’t tangy. It wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t

          “Ummm….MyyyCookie?”

          wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t wasn't

          “MyyyCookie? Is it… yummy!?”

          wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t

          “Yaaaay! It must be yummy! You’re all shaky from how…super yummy it is!”

          wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t

          “MyCookie?”

          And then

          เt ฬคร

═══════════

          “Pomegranate Cookie! This is ridiculous!” Red Velvet Cookie growled. “You have no right to monopolize the only means of contacting our master!”

          “Monopolize? Surely if you were so desperate you might capture a blueberry bird and send her a letter? Or seek her out yourself? I would be more than happy to point you in the correct direction.”

          “The correct direction to be skewered by fairies or torn apart by spice beasts, no doubt.”

          “It would be a natural punishment befitting your impatience.” Pomegranate Cookie’s mirror spun lazily in her hand. “You would have me waste my incense, my efforts, and my time to contact our master over some petty grievance?”

          “It’s not your place to judge whether my concerns are petty or not.”

          “It is, in fact, my place. While you might have whatever command you wish over your dogs and your towers, I am the authority of this facility in master’s absence.”

          “Oh, of course you are.” Red Velvet Cookie flicked his claw. “A position you most certainly snatched for yourself the moment our master left.”

          Pomegranate Cookie’s face lifted into a sneer.

          “You would dare insinuate that I would act on my own authority!? Outside of master’s will!?”

          “There’s certainly precedent! Did you think I couldn’t see those little visits to my tower for the self-gratifying grandstanding they were? What sort of fool do you take me for!?”

          “Perhaps if you were not so hasty to retreat to your kennel after every conflict, you would be more aware of my nature, and the nature of my master.”

          “Our master, Pomegranate Cookie! Or do you truly think so little of the rest of us? We are all servants of our master! You are not the final say on our master’s affairs!”

          “And you would say that you are? Who are you to claim to know master’s desires?”

          “I do not! That’s the point!”

          “It most certainly does not sound like it!”

          Matcha Cookie moaned as she covered her ears, but the arguers paid her no attention. Pomegranate Cookie had stormed into Red Velvet Cookie’s room some time ago, ranting about missing incense sticks–-something about a magic ritual. Matcha Cookie hadn’t listened then, and she certainly wasn’t listing  now. Instead, she lay flopped out on a spare cot, wishing she be wallowing in her sewer room.

          Matcha Cookie hadn’t once been comfortable since the incident. First, she’d been locked in the treasury and harassed by Schwarzwälder. Then she’d been lectured by Pomegranate Cookie and yelled at by Licorice Cookie and prodded by Affagato Cookie to downplay his responsibility in ‘the incident’. And then, as if she hadn’t been humiliated enough, she’d been grounded in Red Velvet Cookie’s room until their master’s return! While he was still staying there!

          “Stupid cookies….mmm…not a baby….hmp! HMPH! I look after…heh heh…myself!”

          Red Velvet Cookie had proven just as annoying a roommate as he’d always been, with his head scratches and spontaneous treats and friendly words.

           “Not a puppy either!!!!” She’d shriek, smacking him with her staff or pelting him with seeds until he finally left her alone.

          Matcha Cookie rolled over, clenched her eyes shut, and waited for the noise to stop. In the meantime, she thought about…that cookie.

          She’d been thinking about that cookie a lot. Not because she was reflecting on the error of her ways like everyone kept ordering her to do. She thought about how that cookie had rushed to keep up with her on those slow little feet. She thought about how that cookie had gripped her hand with the strength of a metal clamp. She thought about how that cookie had smiled at her while bouncing on her tea-covered pillow. She thought about what she’d heard before they’d fell down the waterfall.

          Mama!

          “Mmmmm… Matcha! It’s Matcha! Matcha… heh hm…dumb cookie…it’s Matcha Cookie! Neh heh heh… can’t even talk… bleh!”

          Mama!

          “Heh heh…hmmmm….hmmmmmmmm.” Her lip drooped in a somber pout. “Nch. Not mama…don’t say… it’s all wrong. Wrong! Not ma-ma-ma…don’t say… doesn’t suit! Nooope… nooo… hmmm... you say... say…”

          She rolled all the way over until she fell off the cot. Red Velvet Cookie’s room was almost as baren as Pomegranate Cookies, excluding a few weapons and treating jars, so the floor was plain old dir. It felt cool against her cheek. The top layer had dried into dust, but she could sense the soil below it. There were squirmy gummy worms under the surface. There were tree roots and bits of barks and the rush of sewage as it mingled with what had once been an underground stream. Even if she couldn’t reach it right now, just the thought of the rushing water felt homier than this boring room did.

          “Eh?”

          Something didn’t feel right. She’d passed through the sewers enough times to know what the dirt was supposed to feel like. It shook differently when different desserts walked on it. Licorice Cookie shuffled, Schwarzwälder thundered, Affagato Cookie swept, Poison Mushroom Cookie scuttled, Red Velvet Cookie marched, Pomegranate Cookie trotted, Butter Roll Cookie bounded, and Dark Enchantress Cookie could move without shaking the earth at all: it was an excellent technique for avoiding cookies she didn’t like.

          This didn’t sound like walking. The shakes were sporadic, somewhere between a fish flailing and jackhammer, and there were a few more vibrations that came from sound instead of movement. Matcha Cookie heaved herself onto all-fours and listened with her head to the ground.

          CLANG!

          Matcha Cookie jumped back. That sound was enough to stop the nearby argument.

          “What was that?” Pomegranate Cookie asked herself.

          “Is that not a normal sound?” Red Velvet Cookie asked her.

          “No. It is not.”

          “Mmm! In the…me heh…the pipes! It’s! It’s something! In hee hee…the pipes!”

          CLANG! CLANG-CLANG!

          “It sounds like the pipes.” Pomegranate Cookie glared at Matcha Cookie. “Was this your doing? What sort of trouble are you stirring up now?”

          “Eh!? I didn’t-“

          “Leave her alone! She’s been here this whole time.”

          Before Pomegranate Cookie could argue any further, a much clearer sound shrieked from the hallway.

          “What do you mean you gave that brat a shroomie!?”

          The word caused all three cookies to dash into the hallway where Licorice Cookie had Poison Mushroom Cookie by the shoulders.

          “How many times did we tell you!? Don’t! Give! That! Cookie! A! Shroomie! EVER!”  

          Licorice Cookie shook the mushroom cookie with all his might. In response, Poison Mushroom Cookie laughed.

          “Buuut MyCookie liked it! MyCookie was soooo happy! MyCookie started shaking a whole lot! And screaming soooo loud! Aaaaand then went...away!”

           “Went away where?!”

          “Uhhhh I mean….off and...away!” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s hands flew up, then all around. “Wooosh! Through the pipes! MyCookie was really fast….but I didn’t see…so I climbed out to…to…oh yes! To surprise you! Suuuurprise!”

          CLANG! CLANG CLANG!

          “Why does this keep happening on my watch?” Affagato Cookie rubbed his forehead. “Er! I mean…good afternoon, Pomegranate Cookie! Red Velvet-“

          “Move aside.” Pomegranate Cookie marched past Affagato Cookie and shoved Licorice Cookie back. “Poison Mushroom Cookie. You are saying the specimen somewhere in the pipes?”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie nodded.

          “And you fed the specimen a mushroom?”

          “No! A shroomie!”

          “Then we must find the specimen before it is damaged. If those mushrooms jeopardize its dough, our work will have all been for naught, and Master will surely…” Pomegranate Cookie took a deep, bitter breath. “Poison Mushroom Cookie. From where did you access the pipes?”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie blinked. A dull expression overtook the wide eyes.

          “A grate.”

          “Where? Which one?”

          “…I dooooon’t remember.”

          CLANG! Clang! Clang...

           “The sound is moving.” Red Velvet Cookie turned his head towards the fading noise. “It’d be better to find a grate and follow the sound once we’re inside.”

          “Mmmeheheh! You wooon’t find it! You’ll be…hee hee…all lost!’

          “N-no way! I’m not climbing into those slimey pipes again!” Licorice Cookie’s face curled up in revulsion. “I barely got my robe clean from last time! All that icky dead mold all over the walls…”

          “You will go where it is best suited for master’s needs! Or the moment this crisis is averted, I shall report to her that your incompetence was to blame!”

           “You can’t do that! I wasn’t even in charge of that brat!”

          “I can, Licorice Cookie, and I will.”

          “Grrr…hey! Heh! Heeey! The–meh heh–Clang-clang! It’s aaaall gone! Too late! Going…going…”

          “Not to object to your sound judgement, of course, but I thought you were having issues contacting our master. Was that not why you stormed off earlier? To look for the incense sticks?” Affagato Cookie interrupted.

          “I have no such issue with my divination. Who told you–“ Pomegranate Cookie thrust her mirror towards Red Velvet Cookie. “You! You were planning to have Affagato Cookie contact our master with my incense sticks! You would drag others into your scheme, all to act on some nonsensical paranoia!?”

          “We’re wasting time arguing!” Red Velvet Cookie swatted the mirror out of his face. “We need to find-“

          “MyCookie! MyCookie! MyyyyyCookie!” Poison Mushroom Cookie began jumping up and down.

          “Don’t look happy! This is all your fault!” Licorice Cookie snapped.

          “Mmmmm…Grrrr….Mmmmph! Heeeey what!? What!? …mmmm! What about the hmmmm pipes!? About…That cookie!? Are you…you even…hear me!?”

          “Myyyy fault?” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s head tilted. “Yeeeah! I made MyCookie sooooo happy! I know! Let’s tell Master! She’ll be suuuper happy! I’ll get the sticks! Red Velvet Cookie said to put them under myyyy mushbed.”

          “You enlisted Poison Mushroom Cookie as well!?” Pomegranate Cookie hissed.

          “Enough with this bickering! We need to find the-“

          “Did you tell Poison Mushroom Cookie to steal my incense sticks or not!?”

          “I only asked where the sticks were! I didn’t order anything!”

          “Yaaaaaay! Stealing is sooo fun! Now let’s have some shroomies!”

          “Enough with the shroomies!!!”

          “Meh heh heh? Hey! HEY! HE-LLOOOOOOOO!?”

          It was no use. Even with Matcha Cookie flailing her arms and cackling at the top of her lungs, she couldn’t make a single dent in the spreading argument.

          “Pffft! Fine! Fiiiine! I’ll go….go myself! I know aaall about the-hee heh-pipes! Go get that cookie! Hee hee!”

          Even her final declaration went unnoticed as Matcha Cookie ran away–right, right, right, left, left–to spot where a berry-patterned rug had been abandoned on the floor. She removed it with a swift kick, pulled back the hidden grate with her staff, and closed the passage behind her with the strength of a handful of seeds. The process took less than a minute: perfect for a quick getaway.

          The clanging enveloped her as much as the darkness did, the metal vibrating beneath her bare feet. She sprinted blindly through the tunnel. Not once did she stop to feel the wall or check her bearings. Only the sound and her instincts mattered down here, and as she followed them, her crackling grew.

          “Hee hee hee! Stupid cookies! Soooo stupid! Bicker-bicker like…heh heh….little chickens. Well, well! I’ll get the…heh heh…and it’ll be sooooo dizzy from the-ha ha-sporesy shrooms! And when master sees…he hee hee! When master knows!”

          “….at me! ……op! ….ookin….sto….” Those were the vibrations she’d felt earlier: shouting. Even at full volume, MyCookie’s voice was barely audible from this far away. But every step brought her closer, every stride made the noise grow.

          “Master will be soooo mad! She’ll see! Useless…hee hee! All of it! All of them! Down-heh heh heh-down the chute! Hee heee! Heee!”

          Another turn and she could finally hear the little voice as its owner thrashed through the pipes.

          “Stop looking at me! Stop it! Stop looking! I don’t know you! Stop! Stop!”

          Just as she’d expected, MyCookie had reached a dead end. With nowhere else to go, the little cookie pounded against the metal grate that would let the water flow to the sewers. It was the very same one she’d taken MyCookie down before, but this time she wasn’t there to open the passageway. The little cookie kept shouting, voice ripe with panic. Matcha Cookie laughed.

          “Ha ha ha! Not so perrrrrfect now! Huh? Huuuh? Now…I’m the perfect cookie! I’m the best! “

          MyCookie face’s was revolting. It dripped with tears and limey mucus. Its mouth quivered with fearful gulps. The chocolate brown eyes had swirled into technicolored tie-dye: the telltale sign of shroomies.

          And then the little cookie ran forward.

          “MAMA!” MyCookie fell into Matcha Cookie’s robes and clutched at her suddenly unsteady legs. “Mama! Make them stop looking! I don’t know them! They’re scary! I don’t want them! But they won’t stop looking! Mama! Mama please! Mama!”

          The malice had leapt out of Matcha Cookie’s dough and now…she was stuck.

          “Uh…uhm…”

          “Mama! I don’t want them looking! They don’t look right! Please mama! Make them go away! Make them go away!”

          MyCookie begged and sobbed. Matcha Cookie stared.

          “Mama please! Mama!

          Matcha Cookie’s head began to ring. What was she hearing? Was it the little cookie screeching? Or…

          “….”

          “Ha ha! At long last, I have baked a cookie free from the curse of the witch’s recipes!”

          “..a…a”

          “Rise child. From this day forward, I shall be your master,”

          “Ma…”

          “and you shall be loyal only to me!”

          “Ma… ma? Ma… ma?”

          “...ha! As if one such as I could ever be called such a thing! You, child, must call me master. There is no other name which can suit me.”

          “Ma… ster”

          MyCookie continued to yell the wrong name.

          “He… You… you’re not… mmm… listening… not… ma-ma… it’s…  mmmm…. mmmm!” Matcha Cookie’s words barely came out as a squeak. Regardless, MyCookie’s sobbing slowed. The little snot-dripping, rainbow-eyed face stared up at her. It hiccupped a few times for good measure.

          “You….!” Matcha Cookie shook her head. “It’s Ma-TCHA! Say… Ma-TCHA!”

          “…m-muh…Matcha…” The little voice quivered.

          “Uh-huh! Ma-TCHA! Now shhhh! Shhhh! Be quiet! Screams don’t…meh heh-they get squished! Shooshed! Bopped on the–hm hm!—head! Shhhhhhh!”

          The little cookie’s mouth buttoned shut.

          “Good! Good! Now um-heh-um…you…you’re broken. Yes! All messed… messy heh heh…hmmm… so! Sooo. You… need… hmm…”

          Matcha Cookie squeezed her horns, trying to juice an idea out of them.

          “Mmmmmm…Hmmmm…Mmmmphhhhh! Oh! Aha! You need to…  tooo… ugggghhhhhhhh! Nooooo! Not thaaaat! Else! Something else!”

          She squeezed harder to see if there were any other ideas of how to fix MyCookie. Any ideas at all. Literally anything else.

          “Uuuuuuuggggghhhhhh.” Finally, Matcha Cookie pushed MyCookie off her skirt and yanked the little wrist. “Gotta go… to… tch! Bleh! Blllllaaaaaggg! HMPH! Move it! Move!”

          It was just like last time: Matcha Cookie stormed through the drainpipes with the little cookie in tow.

          It was also completely different: MyCookie clung to her arm as they walked, gulping and sniffling and shaking the whole way, and their destination wasn’t her dark homey pipe.

═══════════

          “Ah! Ah! Ah!” The researcher fell backwards. One hand searched for his fallen glasses while the other pulled him away from the floor.

          “Are you ok over there!?” An assistant hollered.

           “Th-the grate! The grate moved!”

           “I told you shouldn’t walk on those! They’re slippery! Do you know how much runny dough drips into those!?”

          “I didn’t slip! I said it moved!”

           “Don’t be ridiculous! Why would the grate–Director? Where are you going? “

          The formulas he’d been mulling over sat abandoned on the counter. Butter Roll Cookie strode past the jittery researcher and peeked through the black metal slits. It was impossible to see anything down there.

          “Matcha Cookie? Is that you down there?”

          A pause, followed by indistinguishable muttering.

          “It is! Hang on! Pomegranate Cookie locked that after that last incident, and with all the research, I forgot to open it back up!”

          As soon as he unscrewed the bolts holding the grate in plate, Matcha Cookie’s staff poked into the light. He backed away as the staff pushed up the grate and shoved it to the side. He heard metal shift as she jumped onto the rim. She heaved herself up.

          The researchers were perturbed, to say the least.

          “You! You’re not supposed to be in here!”

          “Don’t you dare try anything funny again!”

          “Take one step towards the samples and I’ll do…something!”

          “Don’t worry everyone! She’s ok by me!” Butter Roll Cookie dismissed with a wave. “Nice to see you, Matcha Cookie! It’s been a while! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

          Matcha Cookie hissed and leaned back into the pipe. She pulled up a small quavering cookie.

          “My cookie!”

          “B-butter Roll…C-cookie!” MyCookie whimpered and sprinted straight into Butter Roll Cookie legs. “Th-they…won’t stop looking at me! I don’t-I don’t know or wh-what they are!”

          Butter Roll Cookie knelt down, keeping MyCookie at arm’s length.

          “Looks like Poison Mushroom Cookie finally got to you, huh? Now what did I say about shroomies?”

          “N-no…you s-said no…”

          “Right! At the very least, not with lab supervision! I’d want to document to effects!” He took a careful look at MyCookie’s jittery hands and twitching eyes. “Based on this reaction, I’d say your body’s attempting to eject the shroomie’s toxins but for some reason isn’t able to.”

          “I-is it them!?” MyCookie’s eyes began to water again. “Th-they…they keep…keep looking. I don’t– “

          “I doubt your hallucinations have anything to do with it.” He scooped MyCookie up with a single hand. “Don’t worry! I already have a few working theories. Now let’s get you properly examined!”

          “Mama?”

          Matcha Cookie hung over the pipe opening, and the plea caused her to flinch.

          “What!?” She squawked.

          “I…I mean…Matcha?” MyCookie whimpered between sniffles. “I mean, Matcha Cookie?”

           “That’s my name! Heh…good! Yay! Now…mmmmmbye!” She prepared to drop down into the pipe.

          Then suddenly, MyCookie clinging to her arm again.

          “ACK! How!? H-hey!” Matcha Cookie gave a feeble attempt to shake the little cookie off. “Y-you! Get! Off!”

          “You know I hate to ask this of you, Matcha Cookie.” Butter Roll Cookie rubbed the back of his neck with his suddenly, mysteriously empty hand. “But since you’ve come all the way over here, would you mind sticking around for the procedures? I think my cookie would be a lot more comfortable with you around. And the calmer my cookie is, the lower the chance of any accidents!”

          “Grrrrrrrrr…”

          “It’ll just be minute, I’m sure! And you won’t have to do a thing! Just sit and watch!”

          “Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.” Matcha Cookie’s mouth crinkled with the taste of her own bitterness. Her first instinct, to drop into the pipe and take off to her room, had been foiled by the cookie clinging to her arm.

          “….quick…it, mmmm, better be….quick.”

          “Of course! Just bring my cookie over to the examination table, and we’ll be done in two shakes of a beaker!” Butter Roll Cookie clapped his hands.  “Hey! You heard the cookie!  We’re making this a quick procedure! I need a stool, a stethoscope, and, unless I miss my guess, a bottle of blue-lemon soda!”

          The lab assistants sprang into action as Matcha Cookie dragged her feet across the lab floor, muttering all the while.

          It wasn’t long before Matcha Cookie was perched on a stool. She hunched in the opposite direction with her head in one hand. The other hand was squeezed tightly by MyCookie. Despite the nervous twitching of the rainbow-swirled eyes, MyCookie’s panic had almost evaporated. The little cookie happily squished Matcha Cookie’s hand as Butter Roll Cookie began poking and listening.

          “Yes, just what I thought. Those mushrooms are tough to chew properly and harsh on the digestive track. It sounds like you have a whole chunk caught in your stomach! Hm…I wonder whether it’d react the same in smaller doses? Or would it be ejected naturally like foreign jam is?”

          “Is that why they’re watching me? A-am I broken?”

          “Ha! You wouldn’t be much of a perfect cookie if you broke that easy!”

          “mhmhmmh….mmmm….hmph!....hmmmphhhh…”

          Under Butter Roll Cookie’s instruction, MyCookie choked down the blue-lemon soda until it started dripping back out the mouth. The sheer amount of fizz made MyCookie’s stomach even queasier than before. Then the tears started up again as Butter Roll Cookie firmly squeezed MyCookie’s stomach. MyCookie squeezed Matcha Cookie’s hand twice as hard. Matcha Cookie snuck a glance. Then,

          “BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRP!”

          A huge wad of technicolored mushroom mulch landed on the floor, a mere inch from one of the researcher’s legs. He and his fellow assistants barely noticed.

          “I never would have thought of soda as an emetic!”

          “And the specimen is fully undamaged!”

          “Amazing work as always, director!”

          “Thank you, thank you. Would one of you mind bagging that sample? I want to give it a proper analysis later.”

          While the researchers raced for a sample bag, Butter Roll Cookie did a last check over MyCookie. The jittering had stopped. The eyes were clear and chocolatey once more.

          “Now that’s some impressive recover time! How do you feel? Nothing looking at you anymore?”

          MyCookie slowly blinked. The clear eyes swept around the room. The head gradually turned around and around. Another blink, a rubbing of the eyes, then blinking again.

          “I don’t–“

          “Done!” Matcha Cookie yanked her hand free. “Done! All done! Hmmmph! Too long…heh…no more! Bye! Bye forever!”

          Matcha Cookie was already halfway across the lab.

          “Matcha Cookie! Wait!”

          “No wait! No more! Nope! Hmph! No-ACK! ACK! ACK!”

          Matcha Cookie scrambled to move but could not; Butter Roll Cookie had grabbed her arm.

          “Matcha Cookie! Please I–“

          The deadly look that Matcha Cookie answered him with made Butter Roll Cookie let go instantly.

          “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, but would you just hear me out! I’m…Well I’m…”

          Butter Roll Cookie glanced back at the busy research cookies. He spoke quietly and, with Matcha Cookie seconds from storming away, quickly.

          “I’m stuck. That’s it. I am stuck. We’re coming up on two hundred batches, and I’m not one ounce closer to figuring out why this specimen turned out the way it did, let alone replicating it. I’ve tried nearly everything I can with the tools I have, but nothing has worked, and I need your help. You’re the only factor that I can’t replicate on my own. The only one who’s managed to bring this cookie to life.”

          “Tch…bye!” Matcha Cookie stepped away.

          “Don’t you want to help your master?!”

          Matcha Cookie…listened.

          “She’s the one who wants these new cookies. And you know that, right? Her entire plan could be ruined without these cookies! Imagine being able to tell her you were the one responsible for bringing them to life! Wouldn’t that be worth a little inconvenience?”

          Matcha Cookie crossed her arms. She hunched her shoulders. She let loose a long, thoughtful hum.

          “I just want to run you through a few experiments. That’s it. If you’re not comfortable with any of the tests, I’ll stop. I’d be happy to work within whatever conditions you have.”

           The humming grew until sounded like an angry beehive.

          “Mmmmmph! Don’t…but….mmmm don’t! Nope! But…hmmmpppphh…”

          As she carried on, MyCookie toddled out from behind Butter Roll Cookie. The little cookie was still looking around the lab but managed to find the way to Matcha Cookie’s robes.

          “Ma-Matcha? Matcha Cookie?”

          Matcha Cookie glared.

          “The…the tests aren’t very scary. Sometimes, they hurt a little. But they can be fun too! And I…” MyCookie looked towards the ceiling, then snuggled deeper into Matcha Cookie’s robes. “I... I don’t wanna say bye forever.”

          Matcha Cookie glared even harder. Then she swung her head away. Then she glanced back down. Then she clenched her eyes shut and gave another long, angry hum. And then hissed through her teeth.

          “Fine.”

          MyCookie bounced with a happy smile.

          “BUT! BUT! BUT BUT!” Matcha Cookie pointed back at the equally excited Butter Roll Cookie! “No! Chutes!”

          “Done!” His eyes were all stars as he dropped his arm around Matcha Cookie’s shoulders, much to her bewilderment. “You won’t regret this, Matcha Cookie! You, me, my cookie: the three of us are going to do great things in this lab! ”

          “Yay!” Cheered MyCookie.

          “Ulllllghhh.” Groaned Matcha Cookie.

          “The first thing we’ll need is a full medical examination! I need to have a record of your exact dough composition and how it interacts with your other organs. Don’t worry! I’ll walk you through every step of the process! The stethoscope from earlier will be a part of it. We use it to listen to your sweetheartbeat and jam flow! Normally I’d prefer to have a full X-ray, but beggars can’t be choosers! We’ll test your reflexes, hand-eye coordination, sweetness, hardness, presence of non-food ingredients, magic composition….”

          Matcha Cookie's regret grew with every word out of Butter Roll Cookie’s mouth as he led her examination table with MyCookie merrily skipping along between the two cookies’ legs.

          It was almost an hour later that the other cookies finally found them. Pomegranate Cookie, Licorice Cookie, Poison Mushroom Cookie, Affogato Cookie, and Red Velvet Cookie all stared as Matcha Cookie willingly subjected herself to Butter Roll Cookie’s experiments….and with MyCookie curled up on her lap!

          “Wh-When did all this happen!?!?” Licorice Cookie sputtered.

          “Yaaay! My shroomie made them friends!”

          “Hm…well, I suppose that means the little one has been taken care of. It’s been lovely chasing geese with you all, but I’ll be in my–“

          “You, Affagato Cookie, will be cleaning up the sewage that seeped into the dining hall during our search.” Said Pomegranate Cookie. “Considering that this is the second time you have lost the specimen, I believe that is the very least you can do.”

          “…yes. Of course.”

          One by one, the cookies all returned to their private affairs.

          Red Velvet Cookie was the last one to leave. He watched Matcha Cookie shriek and grumble as Butter Roll Cookie scraped crumbs from her arm and deposited them into a plastic bag. Red Velvet Cookie set his hand on his claw, a few crumbs lighter than it had been when he’d first arrived.

          Then he shook his head and was gone.

After all that, life fell into a new type of normal….

          “OW! OUCHY! Ow ow OWWWIE! Owwwwwwwww!”

          “Matcha Cookie, I haven’t even pricked you yet!”

          “OW! OW! OW! OWEEEEEEEEE!”

          As Matcha Cookie blindly fended off Butter Roll Cookie’s syringe with one arm, MyCookie held onto the other one.

          “It’s ok Matcha! I get pricked all the time! It’s real quick! And it doesn’t hurt too much either!”

          “OUCH!” Matcha Cookie insisted.

          “Hmm…” Butter Roll Cookie rubbed his chin. “How about I give you a count down? Just look over to the right, and I’ll count to three.”

          Matcha Cookie pursed her lips.

          “Mmmmmm ouch… still ouch… gonna hurt…” Still, she did turn her head to the right. MyCookie held her arm tighter.

          “It’ll be ok! Don’t worry! Butter Roll is really good at sample taking!”

          “Meh! Just count! Count!”

          “One...” Butter Roll Cookie held the syringe to her raised arm.

          Matcha Cookie clenched her eyes shut, shaking from head to toe.

          “Two–“

          “EEEEP!” Matcha Cookie squealed at the sharp pain, the spitting image of a terrified goat, and nearly fell off the examination table.

          “Yay! You did it, Matcha! You did it!”

          “She sure did! I got a full sample! Lovely jam color too! I wonder if that dark red is from tea staining.”

          “Y-y-you said… three!” Matcha Cookie said shakily. “You! Yoooou said three!”

          “Oh right! Sorry about that. Ahem! …three.”

          MyCookie burst out laughing.

          “Don’t worry Matcha! It’s all done now!” The little cookie gave Matcha Cookie a sympathetic hug. “And he used play that trick on me too!”

          “It’s not a trick! I said I’d count to three, and I did. The three was just delayed.”

          The other researcher cookies, who busily handling their own tasks, snickered. A hiss from Matcha Cookie drove off their attention.

          “Hmmm… rude… lying cookie…. stupid project… heh heh heh… Master’ll like it… but–hmmmmm—I don’t like it…It’s all hurting and poking…bleh! Bleck!”

          “Look on the bright side, Matcha Cookie! A few more tests, and I’ll have more than enough data for the preliminary experiments. I’ll need to monitor you for a little while… dough consistency fluctuates you know, based on diet and daily activities, but you’ll have plenty of breathing room between sessions.”

          “Just like me!” Cheered MyCookie.

          “Exactly!” Butter Roll Cookie held his newly filled syringe up to the light. “I can’t stress enough how much I appreciate your cooperation, Matcha Cookie. I’ve been dying to study your jam since I first arrived here, but you’re a tough cookie to find. I’ve tried half a dozen times to navigate those pipes and wound up lost every time. You’ve got some sense of direction!”

          “Hmph! It’s not hard. Not hard at all. Just gotta… w-wait? You what!?”

          “I assume from the commotion that the examination is proceeding as you desired, Butter Roll Cookie?”

          Matcha Cookie scowled as Pomegranate Cookie sauntered into the laboratorium. MyCookie gave her a friendly wave.

          “Absolutely! Even our preliminary examinations prove have been enlightening!” Butter Roll Cookie carefully transferred the dark jam to a vial and gave it a hearty shake. “I’ll have more details once I run this through a few tests. Hm… but I think I’ll need a sample from closer to the torso too. Jam ingredients are more prominent near the sweetheart, so it’d be good to compare.”

          “NO! No! No three! Neh neh! Nope! Not doing that again!”

          “You will do what is best for Master, and you will do it without complaint.” Pomegranate Cookie ordered with a thrust of her mirror. “You are on extremely thin ice as it is. If these tests were not, apparently, vital to this project, I would have you locked in the treasury again.”

          “Grrrr... go lock yourself up…”

          “By the way!” Butter Roll Cookie cut in. “How’s Poison Mushroom Cookie doing? You didn’t chew into the little guy too hard, right? I did get an interesting sample thanks to that fungus.”

          “You have no reason to concern yourself. Poison Mushroom Cookie was spoken to and understands the error of what occurred. Such accidents will not be a concern moving forward.”

          “Don’t see you locking that one up, do you!? Just a warning! Just a warning for that…tch! Weirdo….”

          “Now then, I will take the specimen and leave you to your work.”

          “Aww… already!?” MyCookie held onto Matcha Cookie’s arm. “Can I stay a little longer, Pomegranate? Cookie! Pomegranate Cookie! I wanna help with the testing!”

          “Absolutely not. Butter Roll Cookie must finish his examination and cannot do so with you distracting him.”

          “I’m afraid she’s right.” Butter Roll Cookie laughed. “But don’t worry! You’ll be back in a little while for a brain scan. Gotta make sure that head of yours is growing right!”

          When Butter Roll Cookie ruffled MyCookie’s hair, the little cookie laughed as well.

          “Don’t worry! It’s growing good! I’m making sure it’s getting super big!”

          “That is enough conversation. I will be taking the specimen now.”

          Pomegranate Cookie pulled on MyCookie’s arm.

          But MyCookie didn’t budge. The little cookie’s other arm, the one that had been clinging to Matcha Cookie’s, was pinned against Matcha Cookie’s side.

          Pomegranate Cookie’s brow furrowed, and she pulled again.

          Matcha Cookie grunted. Her eyes didn’t budge from the ground, but her arm bent just enough to keep MyCookie pinned in place.

          “Matcha Cookie! What are you doing? Release the specimen!”       

          “Mmmmmph!” was Matcha Cookie’s only reply. Pomegranate Cookie threw her full body weight into pulling. Not one of the researchers could hold back their chuckles, not even with their hands slapped over their mouths.

          The little cookie’s face brightened.

          “It’s ok Matcha! I’ll be back real soon! I’m gonna miss you too!”

          Matcha Cookie’s arm flew up just as Pomegranate Cookie pulled her hardest, causing Pomegranate Cookie and My Cookie to tumble to the floor. All the researchers broke into peals of laughter.

          “Silence!” Ordered the flustered Pomegranate Cookie as she scrambled to her feet.

          “Wrong! No! N-no! Wrong!” Matcha Cookie waved MyCookie away with her dangling sleeve. “Shoo! Go away you… neh heh…you annoying dumb cookie! Shoo! Shoo!”

For a moment, MyCookie’s mouth quivered… but only for a moment.

          “Ok… but I’ll see you soon, Matcha! I mean! M-matcha Cookie!”

          “Enough of this foolishness!” With no further delay, Pomegranate Cookie took MyCookie’s hand and strode out of the laboratorium.  

          Matcha Cookie’s eyes followed them all the way to the door.

          Butter Roll Cookie’s gaze followed hers.

          “Hmmmmm…” Once again, he scratched thoughtfully at his chin.

          “No HMMM!” Matcha Cookie yelped. “Hmm! None of that! There’s nothing to “HMM! HMM!” about!”

          “Oh, I’ll be the judge of that…” Butter Roll Cookie winked as he raised an empty syringe. “But all in due time! For now, tug down the front of your robe so I can get that jam sample!”

          Matcha Cookie complied with her bitterest scowl.

          “Neh! Tch! Stupid owies. Dumb cookies… meh…”

═══════════

…. the young cookie continued to grow….

Schwarzwälder dropped the final bundle of grass with a floor-shaking thud.

          “THERE! NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL GOOD HAUL!” He grinned, looking at the line of grass bundles, each one neatly cut and tied, that led all the way back from the hatch to the far end of the hallway. He took in the damp grassy smell with a huge sniff, then let it back out with a sigh. “Now I just gotta dry these out by the fire, and I’ll be back to hammering dummies in no time! Course I should probably dry myself out too…”

          His work had left water puddles up and down the passageway, and likewise, Schwarzwälder’s fur sagged with the weight of rainwater. He took a minute to shake himself out, sending water droplets flying.

          “You look like a wet mop!” MyCookie pointed and laughed from the other side of the hall. Schwarzwälder grimaced.

          “YOU WOULDN’T LOOK TO GOOD YOURSELF IF YOU WERE OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF A DOWNPOUR!”

          Ignoring the werehound’s tone, MyCookie scampered down the hallway to meet him.

          “AND DON’T RUN! YOU’LL SLIP!”

          MyCookie came to a complete stop, then walked continued walking at a cautious pace.

          “How is the rain up there!? I’ve been feeling it all day! From the ceiling! Does it really make water come from the sky!?” The little arms waved wildly. “I wanna go see! I wanna the rain!”

          “I told you already! You can’t go up there! Specially not right now! That storm would fling you halfway across the continent, and ‘sides, there’s fairies all over the place these days! You’d get skewered before you had a chance to see anything!” Schwarzwälder reached back and squeezed even more water from his mane. “Guessing it’s my turn with ya?”

          MyCookie nodded dutifully.

          “Affogato said that I should–I mean, Affogato Cookie said I should just come over! Cause he saw you were back!”

          “REALLY!?” He snorted. “Grrr… I don’t get one ounce of respect around here…”

          “I respect you! I respect you a whole lot!” Without any warning, MyCookie ran around to Schwarzwälder back and grabbed onto his slick fur. The little cookie scampered up the werehound’s back as quickly as a spider before finally reaching the top of his werehound’s head. In spite of the odd blend of cocoa powder and wet dog smells, MyCookie didn’t hesitate to nestle into the damp fur between his cherry-red horns.

          “You’re the biggest guy around! Someday, I’m gonna be just as big a cookie as you are! Then I’ll get to go up and see the rain too!”

          “Yeah? That so?” Schwarzwälder smirked as he lifted two bundles of grass: one beneath each arm. “I don’t know if cookies get as big as me though.”

          “Yeah, they do! They can get super big! And once I get super big, I bet I can help beat up all the fairies with you! And the jelly monsters! And, and! I’ll beat up all the spores too! And all the bad cookies! And I’ll get to do it all with you guys!”

          “HA! Sounds like you got some pretty big plans!”

          “Yeah! Really big plans! That’s why I gotta get big like you!” MyCookie bobbed back and forth. “I gotta eat all my healthy food. And I gotta do all my tests! And I gotta do exercises! And I gotta figure out all the looking things too! And I gotta–”

           “HEY! DON’T SQUIRM SO MUCH UP THERE! I’M SLIPPERY WHEN WET!”

          Schwarzwälder’s warning came a second too late. When MyCookie bobbed forward, the cherry-horns slipped straight out of the little hands. MyCookie tumbled forward, bounced off Schwarzwälder’s muzzle, and splash landed in a puddle.

          “KID!” Schwarzwälder scooped MyCookie from the water. “YOU OK? KID!?”

          MyCookie eyes were spinning. Schwarzwälder shook the little cookie.

          “TELL ME YOU’RE NOT HURT KID!”

          “sfnef dgfdgd ukjjkb!” MyCookie mumbled. Then after some blinking and head shaking: “I’m ok! It didn’t hurt much! Just a little bit. I got impeesive recovery time!”

          “Pheewww. DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT, KID! I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK!”

          “Sorry, I’ll be more careful.” MyCookie said with a huge grin.

          Then both Schwarzwälder and MyCookie realized something was horribly wrong.

          What had once been a perfect white smile full of shiny tooth-icings was now marred by the appearance of a single, gaping hole where a front tooth should have been.

          MyCookie started screaming.

          “Ahh! My toothcing! My toothcing is gone!”

          “C-calm down! CALM DOWN!” Schwarzwälder said, as much to himself as MyCookie. “It’s a…it’s just a baby       tooth, right!? Pups lose baby teeth all the time! It’ll grow back!”

          “B-but…” MyCookie eyes dashed frantically across the floor. “B-butter Roll said he wanted my first toothcing! As a sample! And it’s gone!”

          Schwarzwälder scanned the floor as well, but there was nothing to see: only loose grass clippings and running water.

          “He’ll be so upset! I don’t wanna make him upset! Wh-what if that’s the important bit for making beast cookies!? What if it means I’m not perfect anymore!?” MyCookie spoke between sniffles, barely able to whimper over the tears.

          “I SAID CALM DOWN, YA HEAR ME!?”

          MyCookie bit down the now-quivering lip.

          “It’s gotta be here somewhere! Just stay calm! It’ll show up!” Schwarzwälder set MyCookie back on his head. “I’ll find it. JUST HOLD ON TIGHTER THIS TIME!”

          MyCookie’s entire body clung to Schwarzwälder’s horns. The werehound began splashing down the hallway. He tried to be thorough, kicking up as little water as possible while he scanned the dirt floor. Logically, the tooth had to stand out–a white speck against the dark brown–but the speck didn’t show up. He followed the water puddles as they trickled all the way to the passage’s end where it drained into the sewer vents.

          “D-did my toothcing go in there?”

          Schwarzwälder leaned over the vent.

          “Can’t say… too dark down there…” He knelt down and stuck his entire face against the cold metal. “Nah… pitch black down there. Can’t see a–WAIT!”

          “Is it my toothcing!?”

          “I SEE SOMETHING! It’s… something’s moving! Wait, I THINK I SEE IT! It’s right–”

          Swooosh!

          Schwarzwälder dodged just in time: a second later, and he would have lost an eye to the projectile that rocketed out from the vent–a tiny white projectile.

          Schwarzwälder dove at it with an all-star dive. The tiny object landed in the palm of his claw.

          “My toothcing!”

          “Oof” Schwarzwälder grunted as the little cookie crawled from his head to his arm. “Sure looks like it.”

          MyCookie victorious waved the baby toothcing. Then he noticed something. A thin green strand was knotted around the tooth. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a strand of long, dry hair that attached the tiny tooth to an equally small green seed.

          “Well? That tooth all in one piece?”

          MyCookie nodded.

          “THEN DON’T WAVE IT AROUND! YOU’RE GONNA LOSE IT AGAIN!”

          “S-sorry!” MyCookie’s fist tightened around the tiny tooth and seed. “I’m really sorry. Thanks for finding it for me! That was a super cool catch! Very respect-ish! And big! It was a super big catch!”

          “Aww… don’t start buttering me up for no good reason.” Schwarzwälder snorted, a faint pink peeking up from beneath his fur. “How about we get that tooth where ya need it before it flies off again?”

          MyCookie eagerly nodded but, before climbing back up for a ride, skipped back over to the drain. It was just as black down there as Schwarzwälder had said. If there was movement somewhere in the dark, MyCookie’s little eyes couldn’t see it.

          But MyCookie didn’t need to see.

          “Thanks Matcha!”

          The small voice rattled down the pipes right along with the dripping water. Carried by the thick metal walls, the words echoed down the twists and turns of the pipe, on and on until they found the cookie who’d been trying to get away from them. 

          Alas, Match Cookie heard the shout anyway, and by the time she did, she could only mutter her objections to herself.

═══════════

…. but for all those in the darkness, life went on largely as it did before….

If he pricked himself one more time, Affogato Cookie was going to scream.

          If he accidentally pulled a sewing needle from his mouth and got a taste of the fabric’s rubbing alcohol stains again, Affogato Cookie was also going to scream.

          If MyCookie asked one more time if the fitting was done yet, Affogato Cookie would, again, scream.

          And if anyone, absolutely anyone, barged in right now and asked why this sewing    was taking so long, Affogato Cookie would scream right into that cookie’s face.

          Because he. Just. Could. Not. Right. Now!

          “Hey, Affogato? Are you almost–“

          “Yes! I’m done!” Affogato Cookie knotted the last thread before he had to make good on his promises. “And I must say you are a terrible model. This hour of sewing felt far closer to a millennium.”

          “Sorry, I just really wanna see my new clothes!”

          The moment Affogato Cookie snipped the thread, MyCookie sprung from the stool and scampered up the full-length mirror. While the clothes were still as itchy and dull white as before, MyCookie marveled at the shiny black buttons attached to the front and the rounded shape of the sleeves and pantlegs.

          “They’re all puffy!” MyCookie squished on of the sleeve and chuckled when it swelled back into place.

           “That’s because I added elastic. You kept fraying the edges and ripping the seams, so this style should give me less work to do.

          “And the buttons?”

          “So you can undress yourself for a change.”

          “Ohhhh.” MyCookie jiggled a puffy pantleg so the fabric deflated and reflated. “That’s super cool! You’re so smart!”

          “I’m more than smart. I’m talented.” Affogato Cookie snapped his sewing box shut. “Now, try not to ruin your clothes any further. I’m running low on white thread thanks to you.”

          “Ok! I’ll do my very best!”

          As Affogato Cookie put away his sewing supplies, MyCookie wandered over to the big ornate chest in the corner of the room. The lid creaked open, revealing a wardrobe’s worth of hanboks, hanfus, robes, silk pants, and embroidered sandals.

          “Hey Affogato…Cookie? When I’m big, can I get a lot of different clothes too?” MyCookie ran a hand over the smooth sea of fabrics. “Most everybody’s only got one outfit, but I wanna have lots of clothes too! Like a fancy robe! And a fancy stick! And–“

          Affogato Cookie snapped the chest shut, nearly crushing the little cookie’s hands.

          “Of course not. You’re only a vessel for the beast cookies. Whatever clothing you wear will likely be decided by them, and you certainly don’t need anything this luxurious.” As he scolded, Affogato Cookie glanced back at the mirror. “Oh lovely. Those sewing needles smudged my lip icing.”

          “What’s that!?”

          “Part of my makeup.”

          “What’s makeup? Can I have some!?”

          “No.”

          “How come?”

          “Because I said so.”

          “How come you said so?”

          Affogato Cookie took a very long, very deep breath.

          “Look, I’ve gotten into enough trouble having to watch you. I don’t think either of us want to have any more issues, so why don’t you,” He picked up the little cookie and set him back on the stool. “Sit there. Quietly. Not touching anything. While I fix my makeup.”

          MyCookie’s legs were already bouncing.

          “Okay. I can– “

          “Talking isn’t quiet.”

          “…”

          “Thank you.”

          And so it was for the next ten minutes. Affogato Cookie sat cross-legged on a floor cushion in front of the mirror with an ornate box of make up beside him, scrubbing off the smudged icing and reapplying it with a set of thin brushes. MyCookie fidgeted, first rocking back and forth on the stool, then teetering side to side, then sitting upside-down with head hanging over the edge, then sprawled out like a starfish on its belly, and then MyCookie’s head perked up. There was a funny smell coming from outside.

          “Ma-“ MyCookie’s hands slapped over the noisy mouth. Affogato Cookie, thankfully, was laser-focused on painting a thin, porcelain line over his lower lip.

          So, moving as slowly as cold honey, MyCookie climbed down from the stool. Then MyCookie took one, two, three… four steps to the door, and carefully, carefully, undid its newly installed locks. One chain lock slid out of place; one deadbolt clicked over, then the doorknob turned inch by inch, and the door opened inch by inch afterwards… just in time to see Matcha Cookie about to leave. MyCookie forgot to be quiet.

          “Matcha!”

          The shout, which Matcha Cookie jump and Affogato Cookie paint a white line straight across his cheek, was followed by two little arms throwing themselves around Matcha Cookie’s legs.

          “Matcha! You came to see me!”

          “NO! NO! D-didin’t! I… nope!” Matcha Cookie stammered. “N-not you... meh heh… just... eh… ”

          Before she could say anymore, Affogato Cookie sprang from the floor and ripped MyCookie off of Matcha Cookie.

          “Get out of here!” He ordered, holding the young cookie behind him. “I refuse to get into trouble again because of you!”

          “Meh!? Not here for trouble! You… you’re the–hee hee–the one who keeps loooosing that cookie. HA! Sooo stupid!”

          “I said shoo! Shoo!” Affogato Cookie waved her away like an insect, but at the same time, My Cookie easily escaped his grasp.

          “Matcha isn’t… I mean, Matcha Cookie! She’s not here for trouble! Right Matcha!?” MyCookie asked with wide, shiny eyes. Matcha Cookie crossed her arms and looked away with a pout.

          “Mmmm… that… hmph…that annoying cookie…said to get you. Blah blah blah, crumb testing blah. Scratchy-scratched all over my arm! Hmmm! Now said to you … go get, hee hee hee, scratchy-scratched too! But that’s all! Not for yooou! Nope! Heh heh, just a message.”

          “Okay! Let’s go!”  MyCookie started pulling on Matcha Cookie’s hand.

          “Hey! HEY! No! Not me! You! Ehhh! I just finished! Done!”

          “But it’ll be more fun together!”

          “Nope! Not gonna!”

          “Pleeeeeeeeease!”

          Matcha Cookie clenched her eyes shut as not to see those puppy eyes get even brighter.

          “Nooooope!”

          “But–“

          “You’re not suppose to be going anywhere with her! You’re supposed to stay with me!” Affogato Cookie yanked the little cookie away again while giving Matcha Cookie the side eye. “Just because she happened to help you once does not mean she is above suspicion.”

          “Oh yeah? Yeeeaaaaah!?” Matcha Cookie scowled. “Well you… yoooouu…ah-ha! You have a worrrrrm on your face!”

          “What are you talking about? I do no–“

          Affogato Cookie rubbed his cheek, suddenly aware of the white oil smeared across it.

          “It does look like a worm!” MyCookie pointed.

          “Hee hee hee! Squiggly worm! Who’s icky now!? Icky Cookie! Worrrrmy Cookie! Heheheh! With a… a wiggly squirmy worrrrm!”

          “Hee hee hee! Wormy Cookie! Wormy Cookie! Affogato Cookie is a Wormy Cookie!”

          “That’s not even remotely funny.” Affogato Cookie scowled as he rubbed even harder at his cheek, desperately wishing he didn’t use such a long-lasting lip icing.

          “Heee! Now you’re worm’s even squirmier!” Matcha Cookie howled.

          “Heee! Wormy Cookie has got a big thick worm! He should… um… um…”

          “Mmmmm… find some dirt!”

          “Yeah! Find some dirt, Wormy Cookie!”

          “Yes. My make-up is smudged. Your point has some made.” Affogato Cookie stormed between the two cackling cookie with his hand fully covering his cheek. “Don’t you have testing to do? Why don’t we go drop you two children off, so I can clean myself up properly?”

          MyCookie continued to cackle as he followed behind Affogato Cookie, and, without thinking, Matcha Cookie followed as well..

          “I think he’s just mad because he’s wormy.” MyCookie whispered. Matcha Cookie hunched over so she could whisper back.

          “Silly worms… should be in the dirt. Dirt! Eating jelly poop!”

          “Ha ha! You said poop! Wormy cookie eats poop!”

          “Would you kindly pick up the pace?”

          And so, pick up the pace they did, but that didn’t stop them from continuing their dialogue of poop, worms, and other nasty things just within range of Affogato Cookie hearing.

          “Poop! Hee hee worms! What a stupid cookie! Worms squirming on his face. And ugly! Heh heh heh!”

          “Yeah! Stupid and ugly and squirming! Heh heh heh!”

═══════════

… but over time, it became obvious that something was changing…

          “And that’s when I saw him! One of the great big cookies you were talking about!”

          “Seeee? I told you!” Poison Mushroom Cookie scooched closer to MyCookie. “What color was the face? Was it piiink? Or reeed?”

          “Um… I don’t know. He was all in the dark, and… it was kinda too scary to remember.”

          “Oh.”

          “B-but I know he moved all funny! Like…” MyCookie’s hands jerked around like an awkward ballerina. “Swoosh! Twirl! Flip-flip! Spin! Spin! La-da-dee-da! And he had a scary laugh too! Like…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

          “Ohhhh, I remember that one. He’s funny! But he’s reeeeeally scary.”

          “Yeah, yeah!” MyCookie shuddered. “And I was scared too! I couldn’t feel my body, and it was like everything was looking at me.”

          “Looking?”

          “Like a big blanket made all out of things looking at me! At first, I thought they were eyes–really big scary eyes!–but then… even after the big cookie left, and I’d thrown up, I… well, I still felt the looking. And I still feel it, right now!”

          “WHA!?” Poison Mushroom Cookie stood up, causing the purple cap to bump against the table they were hiding under. “Oww… also whaaaa!?”

          “It’s true! Butter Roll doesn’t–“

          “Butter Roll Cookie.”

          “R-right! Butter Roll Cookie said it was just me being scared from what happened… and then he said I was developing an imagination, which made him really happy, but I don’t think it is imagination.”

          “Hmmmmm… but it’s not the big cookie? Not anymore, right?”

          MyCookie’s head shook.

          “No. I’m really sure of it! It doesn’t feel scary, not anymore, but don’t know what all the looking is coming from!” MyCookie glanced backwards. “I… was kinda hoping maybe, you did?”

           “I don’t think soooo. This sounds like… something suuuuper weird. Even for me!”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie scooted around to MyCookie’s side, wrapping the younger cookie in a big hug.

          “It’s oookay. Everyone sees weird stuff. It just… makes you suuuper special!”

          “Does it make me still perfect though?”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie’s face scrunched up with the full contemplation of the question.

           “Yup! Still suuuuuper perfect!”

          All the tension in MyCookie’s body faded; the little cookie returnde Poison Mushroom Cookie’s embrace.

           “Thanks. I get kinda worried sometimes, y’know? Like I–”

          “Shhhhhhhhhh.” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s hand squished MyCookie’s lips. “It’s ok! You’re aaaall good. You’re one of my beeeest friends! So you don’t gotta worry. Nooo way. All you need… is...  a… niiiiice….  biiiiiig… riiiipe… sh–“

          Their hug was interrupted when Matcha Cookie yanked up the table runner, revealing their hiding place.

          “HMMMMMMM! You again! Tch!”

          “Hi Matcha!”

          “Hi Matcha Cookie.”

          “You shush! Shush!” Matcha Cookie grabbed MyCookie’s arm and dragged the little cookie out from beneath the table. “What are you sneaking for, huh? Tch! No shroomies! None! Hmmm! You know that! Uh-huh! You do! Meh!”

          “Sorry Matcha–Matcha COOKIE, I mean! Sorry, I–“

          “Not so-rry! Heh, you’re not sorry!” Matcha Cookie jabbed Poison Mushroom Cookie’s cap. In return, Poison Mushroom Cookie wobbled like a roly-poly. “You should be sorry! You sneak! You and your mushrooms! Grrrrr! Go away!”

          “No, no! It’s ok! We’re not doing anything bad!” MyCookie’s arms waved frantically. “It was my idea, honest! We snuck away from Pomegranate Cookie cause I wanted to ask Poison Mushroom Cookie a question! That’s all!”

          Matcha Cookie’s expression didn’t change.

          “Questions, hmmm? And then? Hm! Yes! And then… then… mushrooms! And clanging pipes! And BLAAAAAAAAHHHHHH” She pretended to puke all over the dining hall table. “That it? Heeheeheee? You want BLAAAAHHH again!?”

          MyCookie’s head shook as quickly as possible.

          “No no! Poison Mushroom Cookie promised no shroomies! It was a promise! A big promise! We don’t even have any shroomies here! Right, Poison Mushroom Cookie?”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie fell under the pressure of two sets of candy eyes: one pair chocolaty and full of trust, the other bitter and filled with danger. Buckets of sweat began to drip from beneath the purple mushroom cap.

          “W-well… I… hm… I uh… d-did… saaaaay… weeeell.” When one Poison Mushroom Cookie’s hand wiped the sweat away, a flurry of small purple mushrooms fell from the sleeve.

          “Poison Mushroom Cookie!” MyCookie gasped. “You promised!”

          “But they’re shroooomies!” The guilty cookie wailed. “I can’t not have shrooooomies! Everyone needs shrooooomies! Everyone!”

          “But they’ll make me sick again!”

          “That was the super special rainbow shroomie! These are… just liiiittle baby shroomies! Pleeease just eat one? Just ooooone shrooo–-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!”

          A dozen bullet seeds pelted against Poison Mushroom Cookie’s face. The small cookie waved at them helplessly, landing backwards with a faceful of tiny welts.

          “You go away! Shoo! Shoo!” Matcha Cookie raised her hand, “Not gonna give you a warning! Meeheehee! Heeheeheeheeheeheehee!”

          “B-but–Ow! Ow!” Poison Mushroom Cookie fled, pursued by a cloud of seeds and leaving trail a tiny purple mushroom all the way out of the dining hall. Matcha Cookie grinned.

          “Hmph! Serve the weirdo right! Just a waaarning. Tch! And while Pomegranate Cookie was watching? Hee hee hee! She’ll be sooo mad! Kee kee, eh?”

          MyCookie was tugging at her robe.

          “Thanks for saving me again.” The little cookie blushed with embarrassment. “I guess I shouldn’t have run off… I’ll be more careful, Matcha. I mean! Matcha Cookie!”

          Matcha Cookie’s pout shifted around her face. She looked left, then right, then out the door to make sure that Poison Mushroom Cookie was really gone.

          One of her hands landed on MyCookie’s head.

          “Matcha… is… ok.” She grumbled out of the corner of her mouth.

          “Really? You mean it?”

          “Hmmmmmm… shush! No more talking! Gotta go! Go–hmph! Go find your cookie-watcher!”

          As Matcha Cookie marched off to Pomegranate Cookie’s room, she ignored both the mini mushrooms that squished under her feet and the little cookie holding her hand who glowing with happiness.

═══════════

…something very delicate was beginning to take root….

          Red Velvet Cookie’s room was much quieter without Matcha Cookie in it.

          Considering her compliance with Butter Roll Cookie’s experiments and that she was no longer openly hostile to the vessel, Matcha Cookie had finally been permitted to return to her self-constructed hideaway in the sewers.

          It was for the best: Matcha Cookie tended to cackle in her sleep, and everyone had been walking on the far side of the hallway when passing his room to avoid the sewage stench.

          However, when Red Velvet Cookie stretched out on his bed, the quiet emptiness felt heavier than any blanket. There were no cake hounds to pile with, no cake boar to sleep on top of, no jelly-filled cake wyrms coiled around his legs, and no skelecakes whispering gossip in the distance. And no Matcha Cookie either.

          “How did I ever sleep like?” He murmured. “I may as well be on a deserted island in the Soda Sea.”

 `        *Sniff!*

          Red Velvet Cookie opened his eyes. He breathed deeper.

          *SNIFF!*

          A foul stench had just brushed past his bedroom door. Red Velvet Cookie swung himself out of bed and threw open the door open.

          “Matcha Cookie?”

          “EEEEEP!” A few steps past his door, Matcha Cookie fumbled forward. Her staff nearly flew from her hands. “MEH! Don’t spook me like that! Mmmm! Not very nice! It isn’t!”

          “My apologies. I was just surprised. You don’t typically walk through the hallway.”

          “Course not! Too many cookies! Don’t wanna–pft!–get squished or yelled! “Ohhhh Matcha Cookie! You’re soooo smelly! Meh heh! Why are you luuuurking!? Speak up!” Bleh! Awful! Awful stuff! Hmph!”

          “So then, why are you up here?”

          Matcha Cookie stiffened like a startled cat.

          “Ah-ah-ah-ahhhhhhhummmmmmmmmmmm…walking! Yes! I w-was… walking! Mee hee hee! Walking is good! Forrr… forrr…. my legs! Hee hee!”

          “I see? And have you been doing all right?”

          “PFT! Y-yes! I’m fine. Just fine! Fiiine.” Her eyes drifted off to the left. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

          “Well, I was a bit concerned when I heard you’d agreed to participate in the lab experiments. You weren’t coerced into participating, were you?”

          “No no no!” Matcha Cookie waved her sleeve as her eyes wandered to the right. “I am–heh hee–helping Master! Master will like the testings, heh, even if… meh! Verrrrry annoying! Verrrrry annoying cookie! Hmph!”

          “And do you have some idea of how long these tests will take? Or what exactly the information is being used for?”

          “Ehhhhh… some… something! Beasts and jams and cookies! Ehhh heheheh! All… something like that! Blah, blah, blah! Sciency stuff! Meh!” Matcha Cookie leaned back and turned her head just enough to see down the hallway. “Boring! Can’t say I care! Meh! Meh-meh! Noooo–“

          “Matcha Cookie,” Red Velvet Cookie’s face fell stern “Are you really all right? Are you…hiding from something?”

          Matcha Cookie stiffened back into a startled cat.

          “NOPE! Nope! Hee heee, not hiding!”

          “But you look nervous,” Red Velvet Cookie stepped further into the hallway. “Is there someone you’re–“

          “Nope! Nope! Nope means nope!”

          Red Velvet Cookie brow furrowed deeper.

          “Matcha Cookie, if there’s something serious going on, you need to tell me.”

          “Th-there’s nothing! Nothing! None! No…” Matcha Cookie’s flailing stopped. “Need? I need to tell you?”

          “Even if he is here to accomplish our Master’s goals, it’s unacceptable for any of us to mistreat or take advantage one another. Pomegranate Cookie may turn a blind eye to that, but I will not. Not as long as I’m here.”

          “But no need.” Matcha Cookie hissed the word. “Nuh-uh, there’s no need.”

          “Of course there is. I can’t do anything to help you if don’t tell me what’s going on.”

          “Nope! Nothing on at all!” She put a hand on her hip. “But! But…even if…hmph! If something, there’s no need. None! Good-bye!”

          Red Velvet Cookie’s claw stretched out to block her path.

          “This is serious! I’ve already been discredited for trying to contact our Master over this. Schwarzwälder’s the only one who my claims seriously.”

          “Talk to him then! Hmm? Go talk! Meh! Meh Shoo! Shoo!”

          “Matcha Cookie! This isn’t just about you, it’s about the entire cause! For once, could you stop trying to run away and–”

           Without an ounce of warning, Matcha Cookie screeched: a single, long, loud, whining screech so shrill that Red Velvet Cookie had to cover his ears. When he tried telling her to stop, she screeched even louder to drown him out. Only when his sensitive ears felt like they were about to drip jam did Matcha Cookie finally lower her voice.

          “You! You! You! Always you! You and Master! You and noisy cakes! You! You! You! Always! Always!”

          “What are you–“ Red Velvet Cookie words died as she gave another quick screech.

          “See! Seeee? Not listening! Never! Doggie cake ears…can’t hear anything! Anything! Nope! Not once! Never! Toooo loud! So no, no, no! Go away! Go–Eeep!”

          A little cookie had just barreled into the back of her legs.

          “Tag!” MyCookie giggled. “You’re it!”

          Matcha Cookie blinked; then began flailing her arms.

          “Agh! No fair! No fair! I was… mmmm, distracted! Cheat! Cheat!”

          “It’s not cheating! You were yelling! Everyone heard you!”

          “Still cheating! Wasn’t ready!”

          “You say everything is cheating, Matcha!”

          “Nooo, not when I win, heh heh heh…”

          “Matcha! That really is cheating!”

          Red Velvet Cookie stared as Matcha Cookie prattled on with what he assumed was an empty vessel.

          “Ok Matcha! Now you’re it! You gotta chase me!”

          “Mmmmm. Running… bleh.”

          “But you promised, remember? You don’t wanna be like Poison Mushroom Cookie, yeah?”

          “Ack!”

          Even her shouts sounded different–-soft squeaks instead of sharp squawks.

          “Mmmmph! Shoo! Shoo! Meh heh, I’ll count.” Matcha Cookie stepped to the furthest wall in the hallway and threw a sleeve over her eyes. “Ooooone…”

          The little cookie squealed and dashed away, only making it a few steps before running into Red Velvet Cookie’s claw.

          “Excuse me,” He spoke in a low voice, quieter than Matcha Cookie’s counting. “Er…vessel–“

          “My name’s MyCookie!” The little cookie whispered back.

          “…I see. Well, MyCookie, do you know… how has the testing been? For Matcha Cookie and you.”

          The little cookie beamed.

          “It’s been good! Matcha still doesn’t like it much, but it’s been way more fun together! We do reading out loud, and stuff with our hand cogoration, and sometimes we do samples, but I always hold Matcha hand so she’s better with the needles. And she helps me too! She showed me how to chew minty leaves to make my teeth clean! See?”

          MyCookie blew a gust of vaguely minty air straight into Red Velvet Cookie’s contemplative frown.

          “That sounds… very nice.” He put on a small smile. “You should get running. She’s almost done counting.”

          “Oh yeah!”

          MyCookie zipped around the nearest corner just as Matcha Cookie shouted twenty.

          “Ready or not–hee hee hee! I’ll tag you!”

           She ran past Red Velvet Cookie without so much as a glance.

          Now alone in the hallway, Red Velvet Cookie stared down at the floor. A small part of him imagined that Chiffon, his dearest cakehound friend, was rubbing her strawberry fur against his leg. The rest of him dwelled on a single question.

          How was it that an empty vessel, who’d been alive for less than a year, understood her better than he did, having known her for her entire life?

═══════════

…and something else, invisible and inevitable, grew alongside it….

          “This is ridiculous!” Licorice Cookie fought not to hammer-toss his scythe across the room. “Did Cookielocks make this stupid candy? Too hot, too cold, too just right: I’m sick of it!”

          From their spot in the corner of the training room, Matcha Cookie and MyCookie watched Licorice Cookie paced back and forth.

          “What’s the point of a powerful magic artifact if it doesn’t work how I want it!? I can’t get one lousy curse out of this thing! And I can’t even test my normal powers because Schwarzwälder hasn’t made the new dummies yet! How long does it take to slap some straw together anyway!?”

          He grabbed his cup of boiled cacao juice and chugged it down in one gulp, finishing it with a loud gag.

          “Heh heh, not so special… not special at all.” Matcha Cookie cackled. In her hands was a cracked brown cup of green tea, which she drank from in small messy slurps.

          MyCookie also had a cup of tea, but the little cookie’s attention was elsewhere.

          “Hey Licorice? Do think I can use magic?”

          “Huh? You?” Licorice Cookie grunted.

          “Yeah! I mean, a perfect cookie should probably be good at magic, right? That seems an important thing for a cookie to do.”

          “Did Butter Roll Cookie say something about magic?”

          “Well, no, but–”

          “Then there you go! If it was important, he would have said so!”

          “But… what if it is really important, but he doesn’t know yet?” MyCookie stared sadly into the teacup. “He’s been really upset lately, and I know he doesn’t want me to know, cause he’s always smiling, but… I really wanna help him! And maybe, maybe if I could do magic, I could–”

          “Listen here,” Licorice Cookie huffed with an academic air. “Magic isn’t something you just ‘do’. You don’t just wave a magic wand and shoot lightning! It takes years–years! –to reach a level where you can even make a cup float! Years of mind-numbing concentration and technique memorization! And on top of all that, not all magic works with all cookies! If you try to pick up dark magic when you’re baked with cake flour and marshmallow fluff, you’re not going to get anything but a bad headache! And you don’t just know what you’re good at either! I spent years killing myself over cacao shamanism just to find out I couldn’t use it! So again! You don’t just ‘do’ magic! Magic is a highly complicated blend of dough ingredients, skill, and hard work!”

          “But I can do hard work!” MyCookie sprang onto eager feet with teacup raised high. “And I can have skill! And I’m perfect, so I already have the best ingredients! So let me try magic! Please! Please! Please please please!”

          “Give it a rest! I doubt you can even do magic! You’re just a little twerp vessel thing!”

          “Meh heh… he’s so stupid…”

          Licorice Cookie’s head snapped in the direction of Matcha Cookie’s muttering.

          “What was that!?”

          “Ohhhh nothing. Noooothing.” Her lips quivered in a smirk she pretended to hold back. “Just… heh… can’t teach… can’t even do it! Meh heh heh! Stupid cookie.”

          “I’m not stupid! And I can teach magic!”

          “Suuuuuure. Suuuuuure. Heh heh… stupid…”

          “I am not stupid!”

          “So you’ll teach me magic!?!?” MyCookie pleaded.

          “N-no!”

          “Meh heh heh! Can’t do it! Can’t!”

          Licorice Cookie crushed the paper cup in his hand.

          “If I say I can, then I can! I–” Licorice Cookie stopped for a second, then continued with a smirk of his own. “It’s like I said. You can’t use magic. And I can prove it.”

          “Really?” MyCookie’s head tilted.

          “Of course! I’ll show you!” Carefully, Licorice Cookie removed his magic candy pendant from around his neck. “Here, you’ve seen me use this to cast spells, right?”

          MyCookie nodded vigorously, handing the tea cup off to Matcha Cookie.

          Matcha Cookie scowled suspiciously.

          “Well then, this’ll prove if you can use magic or not.” Licorice Cookie knelt down and pressed the hard candy into the little cookie’s hands. “Not that you can break it or anything but don’t drop it!”

          MyCookie gripped the hard candy as tightly as possible between two hands. The artifact felt perfectly smooth and as cold as ice.

          “There! Now, if you even have the capacity for magic, you should be able to use that to do something.”

          “Ok! Ok!” The little cookie squirmed anxiously. “Like what!?”

          “Push some dust. Summon a cockroach. Squirt water or something. I don’t know!” Licorice Cookie said. “Just something. Anything!”

          MyCookie looked down at the pitch-black candy. The little face wrinkled, the chocolate button eyes clenched shut, the small grip quivered from how tightly it held onto the artifact.

          And then, after a full minute of silent concentration, nothing happened.

          “See? No magic.”

          “Meh…” Matcha Cookie crossed her arms. “That’s not teaching.”

          “I didn’t say it was! I’m proving a point!”

          “Point? No point! No magic? Heh heh… means… stupid teacher!”

          “I’m not teaching! And that brat is the one that’s stupid! Why would they be able to do magic anyways!? They can probably only do beast magic or something!”

          “Grrr! What!? What do you mean stupid!? Grrr You’re stupid!”

          “No I’m not!”

          “You are!”

          “No I–”

          The argument froze; both of them had heard MyCookie murmuring:

          “Who are you?”

          The two cookies stared at MyCookie, eyes still closed and mouth barely moving with the words.

          “You’re not like that scary cookie… is he gone now?”

          Matcha Cookie looked at Licorice Cookie. Licorice Cookie looked at Matcha Cookie. They had matching cluelessness.

          “Oh. That’s good.” Said MyCookie. “Do you… know about the looking?”

          “Hey brat! Who are you talking to?” Licorice Cookie shrieked.

          MyCookie frowned.

          “That sounds really confusing. I don’t know if I get all that.”

          “Heh-hey! Hey!” Matcha Cookie lightly bapped MyCookie’s head with her staff. “Sleeping? Sleeptalking? Err… hmmm… sleep-imagining?”

          “But I wanna stay here! With Matcha and Butter Roll and everyone else! I wanna be a perfect cookie that’ll make everyone happy! I just… wanna stay here.”

          “What on earthbread is going on with this brat?” No sooner than he’d asked, Licorice Cookie’s heart stopped. From between the faintest gap between MyCookie’s clenched hands came a faint purple glow.

          Without warning, Licorice Cookie yanked MyCookie’s hands behind his cloak and pried his magic candy from their grip. Whatever glow he’d seen, it was gone when it left MyCookie’s hands.

          MyCookie’s eyes shot open.

          “H-huh? What? Where….” The little legs toddled backwards. “Ohhh… I feel dizzy…”

          Matcha Cookie caught the little cookie in her hands.

          “What! What! You… what? You went… huh!?”

          “I don’t… think so… I don’t… know…” MyCookie’s head shook and eyes clenched open and closed. “Was it… was that magic?”

          “No it was not!” Licorice Cookie plunged his pendant back into his robes with a definitive shove. “That was some freak dizzy spell! It wasn’t magic! You can’t use my magic candy! It’s impossible! That was whole point!”

          “Huh!?” said Matcha Cookie and MyCookie unison.

          “Forget it! I can’t keep getting distracted by you two! Go mess around somewhere else!”

          “Huh!?!?” Matcha Cookie said louder. “You… you’re the cookie watcher!”

          “What!? No I’m...” Licorice Cookie took a full second to process this. “Wait, then why are you here!?”

          “Matcha?” MyCookie tugged at her arm. “My still head hurts. Can we go get some ginger jellies?”

          Matcha Cookie gave Licorice Cookie a long, spiteful look, watching as his hand fidgeted nervously on his scythe.

          “Mmmm yes.” She declared, pulling MyCookie’s hand with an air of finality. “Hee hee bye Licorice Cookie! Bye!”

          “Good! Get lost!” Said Licorice Cookie.

          Which was quickly followed by panicked sprinting and a loud:

          “Wait! No! I’m in charge of the brat! Wait for me!”

          Because of course Licorice Cookie couldn’t leave MyCookie alone with Matcha Cookie: not just because of past incidents, not just because of how bad it’d look if he’d abandoned the kid to practice training, and not just because he had to explain how the kid’s headache wasn’t his fault, but because he absolutely had to make sure the magic candy–his magic candy– was left out of whatever explanation he came up: at least until the magic candy got it to work properly. Otherwise, he’d never hear the end of it.

          “An empty baby vessel can’t use magic better than me! They just can’t!” He insisted beneath his breath. “Uhhh, why can’t the brat just go back to wanting caramelon all the time!”

═══════════

…both would prove to be the beginning of the end….

Matcha Cookie did not dream.

          It made no difference whether she was crammed on an uncomfortable cot, sprawled out on a painfully plush bed, or (as she was right now) comfortably curled into a mound of leaves in her cozy pipe hideaway; Matcha Cookie did not dream. Instead, she mumbled, muttered, cackled, cursed, and whimpered all the thoughts that hadn’t made it out of her head that day.

          “Mmmm… step on my feet… nope! Heh heh! I squish your feet! Squish!”

          She turned onto her side with a devilish smirk.

          “Heh heh? Hmm? I want… a biscuit… no! No treats! But… biscuit? M-maybe…”

          She rolled back the other way with a tiny pout.

          “When? Come? Mmm? Mmmm… go away! Come back and… go away! When?”

          “…matcha?”

          The rustling of her arm made Matcha Cookie snort.

          “No! Annoying cookie! Still don’t like! No more! Go away! Hmph! No Hmm? Hmph!”

          “…I’m sorry. I’ll go away…”

          Matcha Cookie snore was loud enough to mask the little footsteps, but not lloud enough to mask the series of wet thuds and splashes that followed. She jolted awake, kicking up a gust of leaves.

          “Huh!? Huh!? Huh!?” As her vision spun wildly, her hands diving for her staff, she found herself trembling from head to toe. “N-not here! Go away! N-no one comes here! Shoo shoo!”

          “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

          Matcha Cookie looked down to see MyCookie, struggling to stand up and half dripping with dirty tea water.

          “You!”

          “I didn’t mean to wake you up! Honest! I just slipped and–“

          Before MyCookie could slip again, Matcha Cookie pulled the little cookie out of the puddle.

          “How!? How are… you!? Here!?”

          “You brought me here before…” MyCookie sniffled. “Remember? When I was little... er?”

          “Oh.” Matcha Cookie eyelids lowered. “You’re… alone?”

          MyCookie nodded.

          “No one else! No one… followed?”

          “No! Every cookie else was asleep! A-and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up! I should just… just go.”

          Matcha Cookie caught the little cookie’s hand. She hummed for a minute, her eyes still darting at the entrance to her pipe hideaway. Finally, her hums shifted from a nervous growl to a worried buzz. She took the bottom of her robe in a bundle and started drying the little cookie..

          “Why?” She asked. MyCookie’s hands began fidgeting.

          “I… I had a bad dream. It was, really dark and scary, and the looking was all scary again. And I kept seeing things. And I… I woke up. But Butter Roll was sleeping at his desk. I shook him really hard, but he didn’t wake up. So I… I wanted to see if… you were awake.”

          Matcha Cookie’s face fell flat.

          “I’m awake.”

          “Sorry.”

          With a sigh, Matcha Cookie squeezed the tea from her robes.

          “Now what? Hmm? What now? Here, hm? What next?”

          “W-well, maybe… do you know any Cookieogy?”

          “Eh?”

          “That’s what Butter Roll always does! He works at his desk and talks about Cookieogy until I fall asleep. His voice makes me super sleepy, especially with all the big words.”

          “…”

          “I guess not, huh?” MyCookie’s hands fiddled some more. “Well, could I at least stay with you? And maybe you could just talk? Just until I fall asleep!”

           “Talk…” Matcha Cookie felt the idea hit her head like a rock. “Just… talk.”

          “Yeah! I wanna hear you talk!” Now mostly dry, MyCookie scurried over to the big pile of matcha leaves. The little cookie flopped into them, taking in the fresh bitter smell with a huge breath.

          Matcha Cookie, on the other hand, lowered herself slowly. When she fell back into the leaves beside the little cookie, her brain crunched and squeezed.

          “Just talk. Just talk. Just talk.”

          She glanced at the little cookie, but instead of a reply, MyCookie snuggled into her side. Very unhelpful.

          “Err… that big cake! Stepped on my foot today! Hmph! Very rude! I’d squish him! Meh heh heh!”

          MyCookie kept listening.

           “Then, biscuits! There were biscuits! But, no more treats! Not a dog! So, Red Velvet Cookie… didn’t offer them. But, hmmm. I like biscuits. So… sad…”

          MyCookie kept listening.

          “Uh… umm… Pomegranate Cookie! Tch! So annoying. And that other one. Annoying! They should go away! Shoo! Shoo! When master comes back, then–hee hee–they should go first! Then, then all the rest!”

          MyCookie kept listening.

          “Gah! Gah!” Matcha Cookie rubbed her suddenly sore head. She tried to squeeze a few more thoughts from it, but nothing else happened that day. What more was there to talk about?

          But MyCookie kept listening, so she stopped squeezing. She relaxed her dough, allowing the little cookie to snuggle in closer. She stared up at the cold metal ceiling with its ancient rivets and tiny green drips. The drips were steady–drip… drip… drip–almost like something. Something smaller than a waterfall, softer than a river, fresher than a daisy… or a camellia… or a gardenia…

          …

          …

          …

          MyCookie was still listening.

          …

          …

          …

          “There was a… a nice place. And that place had… flowers.” Matcha Cookie’s lips quivered with the words. “Little flowers. Little and… ugly. So small. And stinky. All the plants were. Squishy moss. Squiggly vines. Sticky lichen. All wet. All ugly. In the dark. So the flowers? Ugly. Dark. Wet. Must be. No one sees. No one listens. In the dark.”

          She waited for MyCookie to move or make a comment or do anything else that would keep her from continuing.

          ....

          “But then, light. Just a little. The sun? No, no, not the sun. It wasn’t sun. It was soft. And pretty. It was… a flower? Yes! A big, pretty flower! So pretty. So clean. Doesn’t go in the dark, dark cave. But she did. All bright and shiny. All on her own! No wind, no seeds. She walked. Stupid pretty flower! Don’t go in the dark! Yucky plants go in the dark! The ugly flower wanted to say, Go away! Shoo! But the pretty flower reached… and she said…”

          Matcha Cookie knew the right words. The right words were: “How incredible! I’d never imagine finding my favorite tea growing in Beast-Yeast. What are you doing all the way out here?”

          But those words didn’t sound right in her mouth.

          “She said the ugly flower was… favorite. She went, sniff sniff! And she sat, with the light, in the dark. Then she went away. Good! Pretty flowers don’t go in the dark! Hmph! But the… huh!? Wha!? Back again? The pretty flower came back again! And said…”

          “I’m glad you’re still here. I thought maybe I’d imagined you out of homesickness. I’ll be sure to hide the entrance better next time. I wouldn’t want one of the Candyceps deer to eat you!”

          “She was glad. The pretty flower was glad at the ugly flower! How? She was pretty! But, she pet the leaves, and went, sniff sniff! Then she sat with the light… and went away again! And then came back! Away and back! Away and back! Over and over! And always she said: Hello! Need! Happy! Glad…”

          “Hello again. You don’t mind me talking to you, do you? Talking is supposed to help plants grow, and it would be nice to talk through some things without the others listening.”

          “No research today: I just need clear my head. They… they all think I’m a savior now, but I don’t really feel I deserve it. Not when cookies are still crumbling. Not when I was… so terrified.”

          “You know, I always feel so happy coming to see you down here. Is that strange to say that? Somehow, it feels like you’re really listening to me and my mutterings. So, thank you for that.”

          “This scroll has everything! The place, the day, the hour! Sigh… I’m glad I could sneak this out here. I’m not sure is Silverbell Cookie could have kept up with me.”

          “All the words… they made the ugly flower grow… grow and grow. So happy! And… not so ugly. Or dark. Or stinky. And then, the pretty flower came, and said… good-bye…”

          “Well, I’m on my way to the banquet now, and, I’m not sure what’s going to happen. Do you know… that you’re a very special plant? Even without the sun, you continue to grow. Even though your leaves are bitter, they can soothe the mind and heal the sick. That’s what I wish to be. I want to grow and build a better world for all cookiekind, even if it means facing the darkness… You know, I’ve decided something. When I return home to Crispia, I’m going to take you with me. I always keep my room dark anyways. I’ll find a nice big pot where you can keep growing, and thanks to you, I can have green tea every day while I work. We can still talk together, and it will be much safer for you than it is down here. I think you’d like that. …well, goodbye, my friend.”

           “The pretty flower went away… but! Would come back! A promise! Promises no lonely, no ugly, no sad… but, so long… away for… so… so long…”

          Matcha Cookie’s throat felt sore. This was the longest she’d ever spoken for, and still MyCookie was listening.

          “B-but… would come back. Yes! Must come back! And she did! She did! But… but…” Matcha Cookie gulped. “All gone. The light was... all gone.”

          “There it is! I knew I remembered something strange about this place!”

          “A plant?”

          “Yes, Red Velvet Cookie. A very special plant. With a plant like this, I should have no need for the witch’s magic. I shall be able to create a cookie myself!”

          “Out came the roots. Out came the leaves. Out came the stem. The ugly flower was still in the dark. But… it was like the pretty flower said! It was happy! Yes! Must be! Pretty and ugly! No lonely, yes? But then… why…”

          “I’m afraid I must leave. Entertain yourself with Red Velvet Cookie until I return.”

          “Matcha Cookie, Red Velvet Cookie, this is Pomegranate Cookie. As of today, she is one of us.”

          “If we are to win this war, we need cookies with strong magic like Licorice Cookie. You’ll simply have to put up with him.

          “Poison Mushroom Cookie means you no harm. You cannot simply attack anyone who irritates you!”

          “There is nothing frightening about the werehounds. Now leave me in peace: I have experiments to complete.”

          “That is enough! You cannot have an outburst every time I leave! Your master orders you to keep quiet!”

          Matcha Cookie fell silent. Even if she could repeat the words, she didn’t want to. She’d heard them enough times. Besides, MyCookie was already asleep.

          “Hmph! So the flower was ugly, yucky, smelly! No one wants! No one loves! The end!” She huffed and turned sharply over so her back was turned to the little cookie. She was more than exhausted: she wanted to fall sleep and not wake up until she forgot how embarrassing her little rant was–that would probably be when she died.

           The little cookie put an arm as far around her, as far it could reach.

          “But…” MyCookie murmured into her back. “I love you.”

          The word stabbed Matcha Cookie right in the tear ducts. She had to bite the side of her cheek and flutter her eyelids just to keep the water from coming.

          “Meh… heh… hmm.”

          With one last gulp, Matcha Cookie turned back around and held the little cookie close. When she fell asleep, her head was clear and her mouth remained closed for the whole night.

          There was nothing left for her to talk about.

═══════════

…an end that not one of those desserts would survive.

          Once Matcha Cookie’s story had ended, he took a single step back. Then another, even quieter than the first, just to make sure they were both asleep. Even then, he hesitated. His current surroundings, everything he’d just heard, and the twisted path his cookie had taken to reach this place: all these things he committed to memory.

          Then Butter Roll Cookie bounded back the way he came.

         It took seventeen knocks on the door before Butter Roll Cookie woke up. The sugar sand in his eyes practically glued them shut, and his back was bent in an upside-down L: the same shape as his desk. When he rubbed his face, an entire page of notes fluttered off his cheek; it left a smear of dull black ink behind.

          Knock Knock Knock!

          Butter Roll Cookie swallowed his yawn and buried his frantic transcription of Matcha Cookie’s story at the bottom of his desk drawer.

          Knock Knock Knock!

          By the last knock, he had brightened his eyes, bushy-ed his tail, and pulled open the door.

          “Oh! You’re awake! Good morning, director!” The researcher cookie adjusted his classes. “Or um… should I say good afternoon?”

          Butter Roll Cookie glanced at the nearby clock: 1:15.

          “Afternoon it is!” He laughed. “Sorry, I didn’t keep you all waiting, did I?”

          “Oh no sir! We all went straight to work, picking up from yesterday’s extract-infused samples. Batch #234, as instructed! I mean, you’ve been working so hard lately! The last thing we wanted was to bother you, sir.” He held up a cracked mug. “We made you coffee! I mean… I made it, technically, but it was Biscuit Researcher Cookie’s idea and Anise Assistant Cookie told me how you liked it. Half a teaspoon of sugar, two drops of butter extract, and a dash of salt, right? So we sort of all contributed.”

          That sounded like the beginning of a joke: How many researchers does it take to make a cup of coffee? But he kept that thought to himself.

          “Perfect! Talk about a great way to wake up!” He took a swig from the less-chipped side of the mug. “Ahh! Now that takes me right back to the academy! My roommate and I used to live off this stuff, but he always made a face when I made mine. It’s not coffee unless it’s black, he’d say, and the way you drink is affront to very concept of coffee! Funny little guy… “

          I wonder how he’s doing these day…

          The thought breezed by as he took a smaller sip.

          “I’m glad the coffee was to your expectations!” Said the researcher. “And um, if I could ask, is everything alright?”

          “Better than alright! I think I’ve finally had the breakthrough we’ve been waiting for!”

          The researcher’s jaw dropped (not that anyone could see it behind his facemask).

          “Come on in!” Butter Roll Cookie waved him through the door. “I’ll show you what I’ve found! And you can tell me what’s been going on while I was cooped up in here.”

          The researcher cookie looked for a place to stand since most of the floor was covered in open medical journals and scribbled notes. He settled by the foot of Butter Roll Cookie’s bed, keeping a respectful distance from the desk chair.

          “Right! You wouldn’t know, of course, but Matcha Cookie stole the specimen again!”

          “Is that what happened?” Butter Roll Cookie sat back down and took another sip of coffee. “You’re sure?”

          “W-well, I suppose not one hundred percent… but it makes more sense than the specimen wandering down into the sewers by itself! I mean, those pipes are a maze! It had to be Matcha Cookie, right? Pomegranate Cookie really let her have it this morning. Said that she didn’t want to see Matcha Cookie near the specimen for the rest of the day.”

          Butter Roll Cookie hummed. He could vaguely remember the sound of shouting but had no idea whether he’d heard it during his research frenzy or after he’d passed out.

          “Don’t worry, sir! The specimen is completely unharmed. Licorice Cookie should be taking care of it now.”

          Despite the researcher’s reassurance, Butter Roll Cookie said nothing. The researcher rushed to fill the silence.

          “Um… w-what about that breakthrough? Did you really find something?”

          Butter Roll Cookie sparked back to life. He picked up the book on his desk—an old medical journal with a leather spine the same dusty shade as a dried blueberry—and flipped through its old pages.

          “What do you remember about being baked?”

          “Remember?” The researcher scratched his head. “I… suppose I remember it being very warm.”

          “And?”

          “…that was it. The next thing I knew, I was standing in the Mainstreet of Mulberry Hollow. My hometown, I mean.”

          “What about before that? Do you remember anything before that?”

          “Before?” The researcher adjusted his glasses. “Is that a trick question, sir? You can’t remember things from before you were baked. There wouldn’t be a “You” to remember them.”

          “Of course not! Normally.”

          “Normally? Wait, do you mean…”

          Instead of answering, Butter Roll Cookie held the blue journal out for the researcher. The pages inside felt drier than sand. They glistened with shiny black burns, the hallmark of magical damage, and even blacker text written in the sort of cursive that looks beautiful while being nearly impossible to read. The researcher cookie did his best.

          “I have finally discovered… translation for the ingredient which… a-appears so often in “The Ultimate Cookie Recipes”… ancient glyphs for… Living Ingredients… thought to be a misk–a myth–but… aligns with the… theory of Life Cycle Concentration? What’s that?”

          “Well, life powder is processed through a system called the Cycle of Life, where the original cookie conscious is erased, and the life powder is purified through various organic processes: things like the water cycle and food webs. Study of the Cycle of Life led some cookieologist to theorize that, if cookies could come to life through life powder, organic material might obtain sentience through the life powder it processed. Obviously, there’d be chaos if all plants and animals were sentient; however, if there was a particularly potent concentration of life powder, it would allow the material to become “more alive,” so to speak.”

          “And if that material was baked into a cookie, that would mean the cookie was have sentient before being a cookie! But… that’s not relevant yet, right? I mean, we would we know if we added a living ingredient to the dough.”

          “We would! But we didn’t!” Butter Roll Cookie’s grin took up nearly his entire face. “Matcha Cookie did!”

          “She did?”

          “During her initial attack! Magic and life power have always been closely linked. When her magic hit batch #100, it must have imbued it with some of her life powder!” Butter Roll Cookie began pacing, further scattering his scattered notes. “It explains everything! Why Matcha Cookie can function without her missing ingredient, why my cookie’s dough is so highly concentrated, why it’s so restorative and so aggressive against foreign ingredients! It all comes back to the potency of the life powder!”

           “That’s fantastic, director!” The researcher cookie jumped. “So then, does that mean if Matcha Cookie uses her magic on the samples, we can give them her life powder and replicate the specimen?”

          “Not quite! After all, if it was just Matcha Cookie’s life powder that was the answer, she’d have the same qualities as my cookie. The truth is actually even more incredible!” Butter Roll Cookie swiped a page of equations off the floor. “Ever since I first arrived, the biggest inconsistency in our experiments has been our inability to preserve the energy level of the life powder. Cookies always crumble eventually. Even cookie magic is barely able to preserve life powder’s potency. In every dough sample I’ve worked with, I’ve always been able to chart the life powder’s power reduction, even if only in miniscule amount. Guess what the only exception is?”

          “The specimen!”

           “Exactly! Somehow, my cookie’s life powder mutated to create a dough that actively rejects crumbling! This whole time I’ve been trying to figure out what ingredients were preserving my cookie’s energy levels, but I never even imagined that the answer could be a unique strand of life powder! If we could isolate a large enough sample of mutated life powder, then we can replicate the mutation to create a highly active brand of life powder that never loses its power! With enough experimentation, we could create cookies that don’t crumble!”

          The researcher plopped down on Butter Roll Cookie’s bed, his head spinning as much as the swirls on his glasses.

           “Th… that’s insane. Immortal cookies? Even the Ancients and the Beasts were never immortal. A-and we could create them!? This… oh, this is a lot!”

           “It’s certainly not something I expected to figure out in an underground bunker on a distant continent!” Butter Roll Cookie laughed.

          Up jumped the researcher again.

          “What do we need, sir? What’s the procedure? How do we get started? I’m ready!”

          Butter Roll Cookie glanced down at the notes in his hand, brow slightly furrowed and smile slightly smaller.

          “S-sir?”

          “We need… to be careful. The procedure for this would be… delicate. Something we can’t have getting interrupted.”

          The researcher pictured himself swatting at the ominous dark clouds that were forming in the room’s atmosphere.

          “W-well whatever it is, director, you just tell me what you need done! I’ve worked with you this long, and I’ll see this project to the end. And I’m sure the others feel the exact same way!”

          Butter Roll Cookie pulled up his smile.

          “And that’s exactly the enthusiasm this procedure needs!” Butter Roll Cookie took one last gulp of coffee. “So! Here’s what needs to happen. First, tell Licorice Cookie and the others that they won’t need to supervise my cookie today. If Pomegranate Cookie asks why, go ahead and tell her we’re preparing for an important procedure, but that you haven’t received all the details. After that, I want you to administer two tablespoons of pectin to my cookie every hour.”

          “Two tablespoons of pectin. Got it!”

           “I’ll write out a list of the other materials now.” Butter Roll Cookie reached for a pen. “We might be missing a few supplies, but we should be able to substitute with what we have. Once I finish cleaning up here, I’ll come in and walk everyone through the procedure. We’ll plan to start tonight, after every other cookie’s gone to bed. That way we won’t risk anyone walking in or banging on the door.”

          “Is it really that complex a procedure?”

           “Would you expect anything else when unlocking the secret to potential immortality?” He handed off his list to the researcher, who in turn started memorizing each and every item. “Oh! And one last thing. Make sure the grates in the laboratorium are all bolted shut.”

          The researcher looked up from the list.

          “The grates? I thought you said you wanted those left open?”

          “Normally, yes, but like I said: this procedure is delicate. We really need to be uninterrupted if this is going to work.”

          The researcher tucked the note into his lab coat and gave a hearty salute.

           “I’ll personally make sure they’re secure, sir! And we’ll make sure we have everything ready for tonight! Don’t you worry.”

          “With such great help? How could I?”

          On that cheery note, the researcher hurried off to inform the others.

          Butter Roll Cookie sat down at the desk once more. He flipped back through the pages of the blue journal. Time ran in reverse, devolving from furious essays about cookieology and dark magic to class notes from Magic Fundamentals and scribbled messages between deskmates. The inner cover he eventually reached was split in two: one half had a defunct library card for the Parfaedia Archives, blank aside from a single unresolved check-out under his name; the other had the emblem of a long-forgotten school and the same swooping cursive as the book’s contents.

          Property of White Lily Cookie.

          “I can’t imagine even you’d approve of something like this…” He mumbled. Then quite suddenly, he snapped the journal shut. “Oh well!”

          Besides, he added in his head, I’ve burnt plenty of bridges already.

          What’s one more?  

═══════════

          “Blech…”

          MyCookie shuddered as the grainy powder chugged down an unhappy throat. The first dozen doses of pectin hadn’t tasted like much of anything, only a sawdusty texture that had to be washed down with water. However, by the time MyCookie was drinking the last dose, it became possible to detect the faint bitter aftertaste. Not to mention the little cookie now felt horribly stiff, as if all the jam inside had turned thick Jell-O.

          But that was the last of it, which meant it was almost time!

          MyCookie watched the researcher cookies as they scurried from place to place, checking over their clipboards and measuring out chemicals into beakers. It’d been louder during the day, but now information only passed through hushed whispers and faint nods. With how far past bedtime it was, the whole thing felt super mysterious!

          “Butter Roll! Butter Roll!” MyCookie whispered loudly when he came close to the examination table. “Is it time yet? Is it?”

          Not even his medical face mask could muffle Butter Roll Cookie’s laugh.

          “You’ve been asking me like clockwork! Every twenty minutes, on the dot.”

          “Uh-huh! And is it? Is it time?”

          “Almost! Just a few finishing touches.” Butter Roll Cookie swirled the milky contents of a beaker and set it down on the rolling cart. The beaker fit in perfectly: white washrags, translucent gloves, and lots of shiny silver things that MyCookie didn’t even know the lab had.

          “What’s that one?” MyCookie pointed to thin tool, a bit like scissors but in the shape of a bird’s mouth.

          “That’s a dough nibbler.”

          “And those ones? The little ones?”

          “Butter scalpels!”

          “And, and what about– “

          Butter Roll Cookie ruffled MyCookie’s hair.

          “Any more questions, and we won’t have time for procedure!”

          MyCookie’s mouth snapped shut, with hands covering it for good measure. Still, that didn’t stop the little cookie’s eyes from roaming curiously over each and every tool. Butter Roll Cookie patted the little cookie’s head.

          “How about we start with this?”

          Butter Roll Cookie took one of the clean rags and an eyedropper full of the white liquid. One drop at a time, he dripped the substance evenly across the rag. MyCookie stared like it was the most exciting thing in the world.

          “That should be enough.” Butter Roll Cookie folded the cloth and held it out to MyCookie. “Here. How does that smell?”

          MyCookie took a huge whiff of the cloth. Too big perhaps: the little cookie blinked and pulled back from the fabric.

          “Ohh! That’s a lotta chemical! Very much… kinda… like… weirrrr…”

          Before MyCookie could tumble off the table, Butter Roll Cookie caught the little cookie with one hand. The small body had gone completely limp.

          “Well, that confirms the formula works!” He gently laid the little cookie down on the table. Then he placed the folded rag over the lower half of the little cookie’s face. “All right. I think that’s the last of it. Is everyone ready?”

          The trio of researcher cookies hurried over to Butter Roll Cookie.

          “Absolutely sir! Ready when you are!”

          “Indeed. I’ve studied the diagrams and am prepared to begin, director.”

          “Actually…”

          “Wonderful to hear!” Butter Roll Cookie quietly clapped his hands together. “But before we begin, great job to all of you! I know we’re not exactly well equipped for this type of procedure. I’m sure most of you haven’t even been exposed to this type of work, but you all have really come together for this one! I couldn’t ask for a better team!”

          “A-actually, director, I was wondering if– “

          One of the researchers elbowed the muttering cookie next to her. Said cookie rubbed his side as she cut in.

          “Yes, it’s been an honor, director. I’m sure we’ll be able to pull this off without any issue.”

          “Oh, you guys…” Butter Roll Cookie beamed. “Well then! Let’s get– “

          “Director Butter Roll Cookie Sir!”

          Still rubbing his side, the researcher stepped out of line.       

          Butter Roll Cookie blinked.

          “M-may I… speak to you?” The researcher wavered under the gaze of his co-workers. “Maybe in... private?”

          “Of course! You two set up! We’ll be right back.”

          Butter Roll Cookie and the nervous researcher went to the far side of the lab, just past the bolted floor grate and behind a defunct mixing bowl.

          “Let me guess: the procedure has you nervous? I don’t blame you. I know I was pretty nervous the first time I–“

          “I was just wondering about the life powder sample, actually.” The researcher gulped. “I mean… how large a sample do we really need? Couldn’t we pull enough from crumbs and jam samples, like we’ve been doing?”

          “That’d certainly make it easier, huh?” Butter Roll Cookie chuckled. “But you already know that’s not happening. The miniscule portions from trace samples lose energy the second they separate from the cookie. If they didn’t, I’d have probably figured all this out months ago!”

          “Right…” The researcher scratched his head. “But what about using magic? Licorice Cookie and Pomegranate Cookie used magic to store the life powder we have. Maybe they could remove a sample?”

          “No can do. Those samples were taken from natural sources. Magic can only draw out the raw energy from cookie dough, not the powder itself.” Butter Roll Cookie’s eyebrows lowered. “And you already know all that, so why not tell me what’s actually bothering you. I promise I won’t bite.”

          “I know… I know but… it’s just…”

          The nervous researcher scratched his head aggressively, looking more and more like he wanted to melt into the floor.

          “Amputation? Is that… really the only option? I-I used to work at an independent clinic, and amputation was always a last-ditch effort for serious dough infections. The surgical skill needed to carve between dough layers while preserving the maximum amount of jam vessels always carries a significant risk, even for an adult cookie! And since this cookie is far less developed, it could be seriously damaged.”

          “So you are nervous.” Butter Roll Cookie gave a sympathetic nod. “Well, I’m nervous too. The last thing I want is to lose the only functioning cookie we’ve managed to bake. But that’s exactly why we’re taking so many precautions for this procedure. One limb should be more than enough to distill the life powder without crumbling my cookie. Not to mention if there’s a mistake in the first distillation, we have at least three more tries before we have to worry!”

          The director’s lighthearted laugh only made the pit in the nervous researcher’s stomach heavier.

          “B-but that’s not even considering the psychological ramifications! Losing a part of your body, any part, can be a seriously scarring process! Sir, I know what this procedure means for the project, but I just don’t feel comfortable permanently crippling a… a… “

          Butter Roll Cookie set a firm hand on the researcher’s back.

          “Look, I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to. If you want to sit this one out, it’s no problem! But you should at least stay in the laboratorium until we’re finished. We’re a team after all! We should all be here for this momentous breakthrough! We’re on the cusp of making the perfect cookie!”

          “Again?”

          It was the wrong thing to say.

          Butter Roll Cookie might still have been smiling behind the medical mask, but his eyes were not. With one word, the stars inside his warm gaze vanished. The director’s oven-mitted hand stiffened against the researcher cookie’s back. For a split second, the researcher had the vivid image of it pushing through him and popping out the other side, soaked in jam and whatever dripping entrails dared to get in its way.

          CLANG!

          Everyone in the laboratorium looked towards the metal grate.

          CLANG!

          CLANG!

          CLANG!

          CLANG!

          Across the room, one of the researchers rubbed her ears.

          “Is that Ma–“

          Butter Roll Cookie loudly cleared his throat and gave the nervous researcher one last friendly pat on the back.

          “Well! Since you’re going to be over here anyway, mind grabbing some of the sheets from those defunct machines and covering that grate?” He strode past the grate without a single glance down. “We’re really not going to want any distractions once we start.”

          “Yes director.” The nervous researcher’s voice could barely make it above a croak as he began stuffing the gaps in the grate. The clangs grew even more frantic, but the sheets muffled them into faint thuds. Butter Roll Cookie turned his full attention to MyCookie.

          “All right, pass me the size-10 scalpel.”

          The knife was set into his hand. He rolled back the little cookie’s pant leg to reveal the soft, unblemished dough beneath.

          The joints connecting a cookie’s arms and legs to the torso were particularly fragile, prone to snap and bleed under the slightest pressure. He aimed the scalpel as close to the joint as possible, angling the blade diagonally to avoid the thickest of the jam veins. So long as the cuts were smooth, the minor jam vessels should slice without any issue. The sugar bone would be more difficult, but underdeveloped bone was softer and easier to cut through. A few jagged screeches of a butter knife saw would resolve that issue. Then the dough nibbler would snip away any of the precious cookie fragments left dangling from the exposed limb. A nice clean procedure, wrapped up in a few hours at the most.

          But that didn’t happen; the grate exploded.

        CLANG!

          Butter Roll Cookie yanked the scalpel back. The two researchers beside him jumped half a foot in the air, almost k nocking over the rolling table. As for the third nervous researcher, he got to watch as the metal grate flew into the air and landed directly on top of him.

          With a loud thud, the researcher was rendered an unconscious pancake.

          Matcha Cookie dragged herself over the edge, breathing hard and clutching her staff. Her eyes locked on the scalpel in Butter Roll Cookie’s hand. Seconds after that, she found MyCookie’s body on the table.

          “No… NONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOO!”

          She leapt over the unconscious researcher, barreled through the other researchers, swerved around Butter Roll Cookie, and yanked MyCookie from the table. The small body hung like a ragdoll in her arms.

          “Wake up! Wake up cookie! Wake up!” She put her head against MyCookie’s chest, then continued shaking. “Wake up! Wake! Wake now!”

          “Matcha Cookie, stop that!” Butter Roll Cookie reached for her arm. “You’re going to damage my cookie!”

          Matcha Cookie jumped out of reach. She tucked MyCookie under one arm and thrust her staff held out like a spear.

          “Back you! You… liar! Evil! Evil cookie, you! Wake the cookie up! Wake up! Wake now!”

          “It’s all right, Matcha Cookie! It’s all right. My cookie is just under the effects of anesthesia. It’ll wake up perfectly fine after–“

          “After what!? Cutting!? Scarring!? Crumbling!?” Matcha Cookie’s teeth grinded against each other, her breathing growing more frantic by the second. “You locked me out! You knew! You knew it! You sneak… sneaking around! So no one sees!? Hm!? Then the chute, hmm!? You promised no chutes! You promised!”

          “What are you talking about!?” Before his voice started raising, Butter Roll Cookie started over. “Look, I think you’re misunderstanding what’s going on. This is just another part of our tests. Nothing to worry about.”

          Butter Roll Cookie hazarded a step forward, but the threatening glow of Matcha Cookie’s staff made him retract it.

          “You’re upset. Ok. I get it. So, why don’t we sit down and talk this out? I can explain what I’m doing… and I’ll even let you hold onto my cookie while we do it. Does that sound fair?”

          Matcha Cookie scrunched up her face. Butter Roll Cookie held up his hands, letting the scalpel clatter to the floor.

           “See? I’m unarmed!” He laughed. “So, why don’t you just calm down and–Wait! Don’t!”

          The glasses-wearing researcher cookie pounced onto Matcha Cookie’s staff and tried to yank it from her hand.

          “You’re not… wrecking this experiment… again!"

          Matcha Cookie let out an ear-splitting screech as she flung the researcher away.

          “I SAID NO!”

          She pounded her staff into the ground with a burst of green. A thousand beady green seeds erupted from her spell and poured into the laboratorium.

          “Everyone take cover!”

          Butter Roll Cookie flipped over the nearest table and motioned for the researcher cookies to join him behind it. One researcher scurried behind him, the other dove behind just in time.

          Tea seeds were flying around the laboratorium like angry hornets, so thick that they formed into furious green clouds. Every place they struck, disaster followed.

          BOOM! A massive machine burst into flames.

          BOOM! Measuring cups shattered, sending glass shards hurtling through the air.

          BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The swarms grew and grew, thicker and thicker, until it was impossible to see through the gaps.

          “I’m sorry! I really thought that would help!” The guilty researcher sniffled, his eyes watering behind his glasses.

          “Director!? Shouldn’t we be trying to stop her? She’s going to destroy the lab again!”

          “If we charge in now, it could damage my cookie!” Butter Roll Cookie shouted over a chemical explosion. “We need to wait for back up! With all this racket, we should have some any minute now!”

           Sure enough, a hoard of desserts pushed through the laboratorium doors: Licorice Cookie in his pajamas, Pomegranate Cookie in her nightgown, Schwarzwälder in his nightcap, and a fully dressed (though slightly bed-headed) Red Velvet Cookie, who shouted first.

          “Matcha Cookie! What are you doing? Stop!”

          “Not this again! Agh!” Licorice Cookie yelped and ducked behind the door before he got hit. The seed left an indent halfway into the metal. “Actually no, it’s worse this time!”

          “HA! LEAVE THIS TO ME!”

          “Schwarzwälder wait!”

          “She has the specimen!”

          The cookies went unheard as the werehound charged through the swarm, knocking his way through with his hammer. He was barely able to make out the green figure. He swung down and–

          “H-huh!?”

          His hammer struck a wall of thick-stemmed matcha plants. Schwarzwälder grunted. He pushed on his hammer harder, but the plants pushed back twice as strong. Behind them, he could just make out Matcha Cookie with her wild unfocused eyes, faintly tinted by green magic. The little cookie hung her arm.

          Then he went flying.

          The cookies pulled back into the hallway as Schwarzwälder crashed back through the doors, a thick crack down the front of his hammer.

          “She’s… got the kid!”

          “That’s what we were trying to tell you!” Licorice Cookie huffed. “Why not think before you go charging in you… you fool!”

          Schwarzwälder gave a low growl.

          “You may need to stay back here. Clearly, our previous tactics will not work this time. And reason is obviously out of the question.” Pomegranate Cookie looked down at her ruby mirror. Her reflection looked back. “No, this is a job for my magic. But I shall need a distraction.”

          “Leave that to my servants!” Licorice Cookie raised his scythe.

          “I saw one of the researchers trapped beneath the debris.” Added Red Velvet Cookie. “If there’s an opening, I’ll pull him to safety.”

          “So be it.”

          Without so much as a count off, they threw the doors open once again.

          “Face my servants!”

          Dozens of short black creatures fell from the purple swing of Licorice Cookie’s scythe. They scurried like mice, fanning out in circles and waving their tiny licorice swords. They squeaked, they squawked, they jumped on top of counters and squeaked and squawked some more. Each time the seeds smashed into one, it exploded with a puff of purple magic, only to be replaced with three more the next time Licorice Cookie cast his spell. By the fourth casting, Red Velvet Cookie found his opening. He leapt over the low-aiming seed clusters and landed just behind the trapped researcher. He bit his lip as a few seeds pelted against his back. There was no time for pain.

          He easily lifted the grate with his claw. With his hand, he pulled the unconscious cookie to a safe spot behind the mixing bowls.

          “Pomegranate Cookie! Are you ready!?”

          “The opening is not wide enough!”

          “I’m doing the best I can! Okay!” Licorice Cookie wailed.

          Red Velvet Cookie looked at the grate in his hand, then the faint blur of Matcha Cookie in the chaos.

          “Matcha Cookie! Watch out!”

          As if it was a throwing hammer, Red Velvet Cookie hurled the metal grate across the room. He kept his claws lodged in the metal, ready to pull them back if she didn’t react in time.

          The grate collided with a sudden barricade of matcha plants. For an instant, the seeds surrounding Matcha Cookie lessened.

          Pomegranate Cookie didn’t hesitate. She grabbed one of the licorice creatures by the top and used its squishy body to shield her face as she flew to Matcha Cookie’s side. The seeds threatened her mirror, but she protected its glass against her chest. Beneath her breath, she chanted in long-forgotten language.

          Then, just as the seeds prepared to strike her down, Pomegranate Cookie slid between Matcha Cookie and the barrier of tea plants. Swirling black with cursed magic, the pomegranate mirror was raised to Matcha Cookie’s face.

          “Matcha Cookie! Drop your staff! Your Master orders you to stop!”

          Matcha Cookie screamed.

          Her staff clattered to the floor, the seeds fell harmlessly to the ground, and Matcha Cookie, her eyes seeped in black, dropped to her knees. The little cookie remained tightly in her arms.

          Licorice Cookie and Schwarzwälder cautiously stepped into the room. Red Velvet Cookie set the grate on the ground. Butter Roll Cookie and the other researchers ventured out from the barricade.

          Matcha Cookie murmured.

          “M-master! You’re back! You’re…”

          “Release that cookie at once.” Pomegranate Cookie ordered.

          Matcha Cookie stared blankly at the mirror. Her mouth began to tremble.

          “B-but… I don’t… the chute…”

          “You dare to speak back to me!? Dark Enchantress Cookie!? The one who created you!?” The black magic of Pomegranate Cookie’s mirror grew darker. “Release the cookie. Now.”

          One inch at a time, Matcha Cookie pried her arms off MyCookie. She lay the little cookie gently on the floor in front of her.

          “Now kneel and wait until I decide what to do with you.”

          Matcha Cookie wrapped her arms around herself and lowered her head into a fearful bow.

          Pomegranate Cookie lowered her mirror, allowing the black magic to swirl more slowly. Red Velvet Cookie grimaced, but did not say anything.

          Everyone was too busy waiting for an explanation.

          “So then,” Pomegranate Cookie began. “Would you care to explain how this happened, Butter Roll Cookie?”

          He rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish smile.

          “I’m afraid there’s not much to explain. I was preparing for a procedure, and Matcha Cookie charged in on us. Then she lashed out. I didn’t have much of a chance to talk to her.”

          The glasses-wearing researcher’s mouth opened… and closed immediately. Nobody noticed.

          “And so we are left with a mess far worse than the first time. Butter Roll Cookie, could you truly not anticipate such an outcome? After allowing her to run amok in the laboratorium, permitting her to skulk around the specimen? Given your expertise on this project, I held my skepticism, but surely now you can see how an ounce of caution would have prevented this new incident.”

          “You’re right. I take full responsibility for what happened here.”

          “Good! Because I’m not cleaning this up!” Licorice Cookie crossed his arms. “Not at the crack of dawn! And not when it’s not a billion times worse than last time! It’s like a typhoon hit this place!”

          Butter Roll Cookie gave another sheepish chuckle.

          “It’s a real blast zone, isn’t it? I guess we’re back down to 0 days since an accident. And after such a long streak too.”

          “Your carelessness aside…” Pomegranate Cookie threw Matcha Cookie an exhausted glare. “I have reached my limits with her emotional instability. Even without Master’s guidance, it is clear something must be done.”

          “One moment,” Red Velvet Cookie stepped forward. “Does this not strike you as the least bit unusual? Matcha Cookie has been more than accommodating towards the lab, her tests, and the vessel.”

          “Perhaps since you have arrived, but this is not the first time she has thrown a tantrum. Her scheming against the specimen has clearly only worsened her behavior. Of all cookies, surely you of are aware of her sporadic she can be.”

          Instead of dignifying her with a response, Red Velvet Cookie turned towards Butter Roll Cookie.

          “Personally, I’d like to hear what exactly you were doing in here.”

          “Sure, I can explain that!” said Butter Roll Cookie. “But, how technical do you want to get? A lot of the medical terminology might go over your head, and if you want the reasoning behind the procedure, I might have to go back a few…”

          Red Velvet Cookie lowered his eyelids.

          “Perhaps you could skip to the moment that incited all this.”

          “I’m… not sure I understand what you mean.”

          “Matcha Cookie can be impulsive and emotional, her actions do have reason. Even if it’s not reasoning we understand. Perhaps there was some element to this vaguely defined procedure that instigated her?”

          “Again with this baseless suspicion?” Pomegranate Cookie groaned.

          “Did I say I suspected something? I was merely asking for information.”

          “You speak as if accusations were not clearly painted on your face.” She raised her black mirror like a folding fan, hiding all but her disapproving eyes. “You think this calamity was intentional? You believe that Matcha Cookie must be provoked to cause such damage?”

          “I only suggest that there may be more to this situation than–"

          “Than another chance to humor your wounded pride over some fantasized discrimination against you? I should think not.”

          “This is not about me! This is about Matcha Cookie and preserving the integrity of our group!” Red Velvet turned the full force of his shout onto her. “Why must you always make everything into a contest between you and I!? We are meant to be allies!”

          “Yet you have no shame in pointing your claw at any one of us who does not submit to your personal morals!” Pomegranate Cookie raised her tone to match. “Morals which are built on cowardice and ignorance!”

          “And where do you draw those baseless claims from!?”

          “Hey guys? Maybe we should calm down a little.” Licorice Cookie’s squeaky request didn’t make a dent in the tension.

          “You have never fooled me with your militant façade! I have seen how you cling to your hounds! How you hide in your towers to avoid facing opposition! How you bare your teeth at even the slightest challenge to your ego! You would rather hide among minions of your own creation than face any reality but your own!”

          “So that is what you think of me!?” Red Velvet Cookie gave a bitter laugh. “Perhaps if you did not delude yourself, we might have a real conversation!”

          “You are the one who deludes himself. Your only faith lies in those you have crafted with your own hands! Not in us! Nor in our master! If you did, you would not constantly combat me and attempt to drive out one whom Master has chosen!”

          “You mean in the same way you drove out Dark Choco Cookie!?”

           The name struck like lightning. Pomegranate Cookie staggered for a full second before forcing a hiss.

           “You… You should not mention that traitor.”

           “And why not? Because of your guilt? Your hypocrisy!? Because you know that you were the one to blame for his leaving?”

          “That’s enough.”

          “I know all about how you abused him, Pomegranate Cookie. That is why you so stubbornly refuse to listen to my concerns! Because you are the one projecting! You are the one who allowed your own petty grievances to consume you! Admit it!“

          “Ok, you know what!? Shut up!”

          Red Velvet Cookie stepped back as—to everyone’s shock—Licorice Cookie threatened him with the scythe’s sharpest edge.

          “Licorice Cookie? Wha–“

          “I said stop talking already!” The blade came an inch closer. “Look, I can’t stand Pomegranate Cookie as much as the next cookie, but you don’t know what you’re talking about! That jerk left on his own! He had a crummy change of heart, and Pomegranate Cookie got seriously hurt because of it! And that was after we all nearly crumbled cause of that lame king’s stupid meltdown! And that was after nearly getting drowned by the Licorice Sea! It was a miserable day for everyone, and I don’t remember YOU being there! Stop pretending you know about everything that’s going on when you’ve been floating in and out of the base for two years!”

          “But I–“

          “The sentiment is appreciated.” Pomegranate Cookie stepped out from behind Licorice Cookie. “But I do not require defending. Least of all from you.”

          Licorice Cookie gave her a long look, then slammed his scythe on the ground with a scream of frustration.

          “You know what!? Both of you are completely insufferable! Acting like you two get to be in charge of everything, just cause you got here before I did! Do you guys even know what I have to put up with!? Humiliation from Gingerdork and his buddies! Cleaning up after everyone’s mess! I’m not some third-rank grunt y’know! I have more power than the two of you put together! Just because I don’t try to shove it in everyone’s face like you guys doesn’t mean I shouldn’t get some respect! Right Schwarzwälder!?”

          Schwarzwälder, now cradling MyCookie in one arm, looked up.

          “Huh? What are ya going on about?”

          “I said I should get some respect! Gah! Why does everyone have to be so… useless!?”

          “WHO YOU CALLING USELESS!?” Schwarzwälder stomped into the argument. “I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO’S CHECKING ON THIS KID HERE! YOU’RE THE ONES GETTING SIDETRACKED! DON’T YOU SEE THIS LITTLE GUY’S OUT COLD!?”

          “Oh wonderful, you’re getting attached.” Pomegranate Cookie rubbed her forehead. “That is empty vessel, Schwarzwälder. Its welfare has nothing to do with this issue.”

          “At least he does care.” Red Velvet Cookie snarled. “Unlike you. You don’t care about anyone.”

          Pomegranate Cookie gave a sharp laugh.

          “Do you think we are Gingerbrave and his foolish compaions? Are you all so idiotic as to think we are friends? We are all servants of Master. Her goals are all that matter. Our personal relationships mean nothing.”

          “I brought the shooooomies!”

          Barreling through the door, nearly knocking over an eavesdropping Affogato Cookie, was Poison Mushroom Cookie. Head covered with a satin nightcap and arms loaded with purple mushrooms, the little fellow rushed straight into their midst

          “One for yoooou. One for yoooou. One for… everyone else!” Poison Mushroom Cookie dumped the fungi onto the floor. “Enough for everyone! So that… you can all be friends again! Nooooo more fighting!”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie basked in the dumbfounded gazes that followed.

          “I see. Thank you, Poison Mushroom Cookie.”

          “Yeah, it’s uh… cool.”

          “GREAT!”

          “Thank you.”

          The short mushroom was glowing with pride at this brilliant solution to everyone’s problems.

          Then Affogato Cookie cleared his throat.

          “I won’t pretend to understand everything that is going on here, but if I might make a suggestion?” The faint traces of a moisturizing face mask clung to the sides of smile. “I doubt any constructive conversations can happen at this hour. Why not table this issue until tomorrow? Perhaps we can resolve this over coffee? Tea, perhaps?”

          Red Velvet Cookie, Licorice Cookie, Schwarzwälder, and Pomegranate Cookie exchanged glances.

          “Sounds good to me!”

          Butter Roll Cookie stood alone with his hands cheerfully perched on his hips. The researchers had been sent away a while ago.

          “I’ll be more than happy to provide a full explanation of the procedure to anyone who asks, and I’ll take the proper precautions to ensure Matcha Cookie doesn’t cause any more damage.” He strode over to Schwarzwälder. “If that solves all that, I’ll be taking my cookie and seeing you all in the morning!”

          Schwarzwälder looked Butter Roll Cookie’s expectant hands. Pomegranate Cookie cleared her throat.

          “Considering all that has occurred, I believe that I shall hold onto the specimen tonight.”

          “No problemo!” Butter Roll Cookie stepped back and held his hands behind his back. Schwarzwälder snorted.

          “I assume this will satisfy you for tonight?” She gave Red Velvet Cookie a deliberate look. “If not, then you may as well run back to your tower this very night and safe us all the headache.”

          He only glared back.

          Then Pomegranate Cookie turned to Matcha Cookie. Still under the weight of dark illusions, she hadn’t so much as flinched since taking her submissive position. Pomegranate Cookie raised her mirror once more.

          “Return to your room and do not leave it until morning. Your Master commands you.”

          Slowly, Matcha Cookie climbed to her feet. Her darkened eyes remained on the floor, her face remained empty, as she dragged both her staff and her feet. Every forced step scraped through the silence. Everyone watched as she walked back to the open pipe. She stepped over the hole and fell straight through.

          CLANG! Clang! Clang. clang…

          The sound grew fainter and fainter as she went back to the sewers, where she belonged.

═══════════

          Chute                               Hurt                                  Bad                        Lies

Sad              Chute           Master          Mean            No one wants          Dark

          None            Chute           None            No                Garbage          Matcha

Chute           Gone            Chute           Down            Stinky              Ugly

          Away            Flowers         Chute           Alone            All-gone                Rotting         

Sewerage     Yucky          Mean            Chute           Stop             Want            Why

          “Matcha Cookie! Snap out of it!”

          Snap out of it she did, jumping like a scared rabbit andnearly toppling over her cauldron.

          “ACK! ACK! Wh-where!? Eh?” Matcha soaked up her surroundings as fast as possible. She was in her pipe hideaway. She smelled like burnt spells and chemical spills. Her eyes were itchy from not blinking. And... and… and…

          “YOU!”

          Matcha Cookie took a swing at Red Velvet Cookie. He ducked out of the way.

          “Wait! I’m not–”

          “Go away! Shoo! Shoo! Shouldn’t be here! Neh! Neh!”

          She swung her staff as if she were swatting a fly and had about as much success. Red Velvet Cookie dodged, dodged again, then finally blocked the staff with his claw.

          “Calm down! You were under Pomegranate Cookie’s illusion magic.”

          Matcha Cookie stopped while she was winding up for another swipe. The memory of it all gurgled to the surface: her walk, the little cookie, her magic, and…

          “Yes. Was.” She mumbled. “Now, go away! My room! Mine!”

          Red Velvet Cookie sighed as he looked around.

          “Your room… when they said you were sleeping in the sewers, I didn’t think it was an actual sewage pipe you were sleeping in.”

          Seeing how Matcha Cookie’s face twisted, he let the topic drop.

          “Nevermind that. Are you alright? You weren’t hurt? I’ve never seen you use that much magic at once.”

          “Shooooooooooo!”

          She jabbed her staff straight into his chest and shoved him out the “door”. If he hadn’t grabbed onto the pipe’s rim, he might have fallen right into the sewer stream.

          “Matcha Cookie! I’m trying to talk to you!”

          From behind the blanket curtain came a loud raspberry.

          “Why must you always be so… so…” Red Velvet Cookie pulled a chunk of his hair to keep from smashing something. “I am coming in there, and we are going to talk, whether you like it or not!”

          He marched right back into the pipe. Matcha Cookie was slumped into a leaf pile, holding a particularly sewage-steeped bundle of leaves like some kind of stuffed animal. Her face puffed up into a pout, and she refused to look at him.

          “The decision about your actions was put off until tomorrow… and unless you want to end up in serious trouble, you need to tell me your side of what happened.”

          “HMPH!”

          “I’m serious! We still have no idea when our Master might return, and Pomegranate Cookie has it out for you. As the story stands, no one is on your side.”

          Matcha Cookie broke into high-pitched giggles.

          “No one? Now? No never! Never is! Aaaaalways forgotten. Never noticed. Never recognized! Only when it’s bad! Bad Matcha Cookie! Hee hee hee! Soooo bad!”

          “Well, I don’t want that to be the case! I want to help you! Just tell me what in Master’s name possessed you to attack the lab like that. I’ve felt your seeds before, and they shouldn’t hurt that much. If you were defending yourself, then you need to—”

          “Need need need! Again? Hmmm? Does not need! Don’t need you!”

          “Fine. Then.” Red Velvet Cookie fought not to grind his fangs. “You don’t need to tell me. Just… I want to know. Why did you attack the lab?”

          Matcha Cookie squished herself into a ball, squeezing her pile of leaves tighter. She hummed, she mumbled, she buried her face into the comforting matcha stink. Her words were barely audible.

          “Hurt… would hurt… Cutting, scraping, crumbling… then down the chute. Down, down, down… all gone.”

          As her mumbles grew more and more miserable, Red Velvet Cookie’s face softened. He stepped over to the leaf pile and squatted down by her side.

          “What do you mean chute?”

          Matcha Cookie’s mouth fidgeted, the words fighting to get out against her better judgement.

          “The doughs… squishy, squirmy, living things. I can see them. All alive but not… not happy. All bad. All wrong. Ugly, smelly, squishy. Then down the chute. Garbage. In the trash. Alive but dead, dead, dead.”

          “Do you think that…” Red Velvet Cookie took an extra second to think. “That’s what will happen to the vessel? Because of the procedure?”

          Matcha Cookie pouted with a vigorous nod.

          “I see.” Finally, Red Velvet Cookie took a seat on the ground. The metal was cold and instantly damped his pants, but he ignored it. “You have been around it quite often. I can see you have a strong affection for it. But… it is a vessel for the beast cookies. It was made to fulfill our Master’s goals, not to be kept around. Right now, that cookie is only an empty—”

          “Is Chiffon empty?”

          Red Velvet Cookie did a double take. Actually, he did two: One for the fact that Matcha Cookie remembered the cake’s name, and another for the realization.

          Chiffon, with her perky little strawberries and lolling tongue, her sad puppy eyes and happy little yaps, her merry flips and soft comforting whimpers.

          Reduced to a mere thing, a project to be dealt with, stabbed and sliced without a single thought. Coated by so much technical terminology that one couldn’t see the living creature behind it.

          Terminology even he’d fallen for: Simulacra, vessel, specimen…it had all sounded so reasonable.

          Red Velvet Cookie clenched his fists. A sudden fury overtook him with a single thought.

          All creatures deserve to live.

          “Come back to the tower with me.”

          Matcha Cookie eyelids fluttered. She sat up.

          “H-huh!?”

          “Pomegranate Cookie practically invited me to do so. I’m sure she’ll be delighted to have this whole place under her control again. We should leave this place tonight.”

          “W-what!?” Matcha Cookie shook her head. “No! No I’m not going!? Why-”

          “And we should take the little cookie with us.”

          Matcha Cookie blinked.

          “…we should? But… Master…”

          “Master would not want this.” He said firmly. “I can see that now. Her goal is a world where all creatures can live, not one where we sacrifice innocent life over petty projects. But I can see now that the others are not going to understand no matter how hard we explain. If we take the little cookie with us now, they shall be safe.”

          “But…hmmm...”

          “We’ll send a letter explaining everything. That the little cookie is alive, how our hands were forced, all of it.” Red Velvet Cookie put a hand on Matcha Cookie’s shoulder. “She will understand. And if she does have any frustration, the blame shall fall to me alone. I promise.”

          Matcha Cookie mumbled. Her lips, her forehead, her hands: they were all knitted with strings of doubt and fear. She looked around her hideaway, full of the equipment and trinkets that she’d spent weeks gathering, and the matcha plants she’d spent months cultivating. She thought of her brief time beyond Beast-Yeast, how bright and hostile the stained-glass rooms of the Vanilla Castle had been. Would a cake tower be any different?

           She rubbed the back of her right hand. The dough there was moist. It smelled like burnt chemicals. It looked like rubbery goo. It likely tasted like stagnant tea.

          It felt empty.

          She was so, so sick of it feeling empty.

           “WELL THAT’S AN AWFUL PLAN!”

          The cookies froze for half a second as Schwarzwälder stomped inside. Before Matcha Cookie could swing her staff at the werehound, Red Velvet Cookie caught hold of it.

           “Schwarzwälder? How did you get down here?”

           “Followed the smell! Same as you!” He scratched his nose with a claw. “Now what’s all that crazy talk about running away? One of you hasn’t been to the surface in years! And the other got lost trying to get here!”

          The cookies had matching scowls.

           “What you need’s a guide! Some dessert that knows how to get around up there! Specially with all the fairies and monsters running ‘round these days.” Schwarzwälder grinned. He jabbed a thumb at himself. “Good thing I know this place like the back of my paw!”

          Red Velvet Cookie stopped scowling.

           “Are you sure, Schwarzwälder?” He asked. “Once we leave, you’ll likely receive the brunt of Pomegranate Cookie’s fury.

           “Course I’m sure! I could use a good excuse to snarl at her!” Schwarzwälder gave a booming laugh. “And beside that… that little kid's alright. I… well, I don’t wanna seem ‘em hurt.”

          Matcha Cookie stopped scowling.

           “Tch… fine. You can come…”

           “Then it’s settled.” Red Velvet Cookie climbed to his feet. “We’ll wait for Pomegranate Cookie to fall asleep, take the little cookie, and be out before sunrise.”

           “YEAH!”

           “Hmmm…”

          It was the most enthusiasm Matcha Cookie could muster up. After all, she was leaving the closest place to home she’d ever had with two desserts she could barely stand, doing something she still wasn’t sure her Master would approve of.

          But she kept rubbing her hand and imagined the little hand holding it.

          Whatever kind of crazy this plan was, it was going to work.

          It had to work.

          It had to…

   When everyone had gone their separate ways, Licorice Cookie had stormed straight into the training room. There wasn’t a snowman’s chance in Beast-Yeast of sleeping after that humiliation.

          “Those arrogant! Self-righteous! Complete jerks!”

          With his hair tied back and his robe tossed aside, he threw all his fury behind his spells. He called minions, then dismissed them. He called bigger minions, then blasted those with lightning. He called forth a shadow, then a wave of shadows, then a tsunami so thick it cloaked the room in darkness. Hour after hour after hour.

          Through it all, he felt his magic candy burn like ice against his chest. Just as he hit his most furious point, he turned to the last living straw dummy. He slammed his scythe into the ground.

          “Licorio Maledictum!”

          The curse rose in as violet fog, swooping from his scythe and wrapping the dummy like a serpent. Slowly it squeezed, tighter and tighter, until at last the straw was tinged in a thick, anise-scented poison. Licorice Cookie stared as the poison bubbled off the dummy. He rubbed his eyes a few times to be sure.

          “I did it…” He jumped and punched a fist into the air. “Y-yeah! I did it! I’ve mastered my magic candy! Take that! HA!”

          He basked in his victory to thunderous silence. The dummy continued fuming.

          “I’ve gotta try that again! Where are those other dummies!?” Licorice Cookie zipped out of the training hall and headed towards Schwarzwälder’s room. The werehound would be asleep, of course, but it wasn’t like his door had a lock. And surely there had to be another straw dummy he could use by now.

          He did not expect to find Schwarzwälder stuffing a fluffy blanket into knapsack; based on how his fur stiffened when the door flew open, Schwarzwälder didn’t intend to be found either.

          “Oh uh… hey! Still up?” The werehound flipped the knapsack shut and threw it over his shoulder. The bag looked far too small for him.

          “Yeah. Training.” Licorice Cookie peered at the bag. “What’s that?”

          “You know. Just some… stuff.”

          “What kind of stuff?”

          “Patrol stuff! That’s what.”

          Licorice Cookie’s face wrinkled.

          “Since when do you patrol at this hour?”

          “WHAT’S IT TO YA?” Schwarzwälder cleared his throat and dropped the volume. “And I do patrol at this hour. A lot, actually. Not that you’d know.”

          “Uh-huh. Suuuure.”

          “Look! What do you want!?”

          “Well I came in here to get those straw dummies! You’re done with them now, right?” Licorice Cookie walked around to Schwarzwälder’s pack-bearing side. “But now I wanna know what you’re being all secret-y about! You don’t have secrets.”

           “I HAVE–I have plenty of secrets!” Schwarzwälder moved the knapsack to his other arm. “And if you want a dummy, there’s one over there. Go ahead.”

          Sure enough, there was a half-finished scarecrow leaning against the oversized, overly organized desk.

          “Go ahead? What do you mean ‘Go ahead’!? That thing’s as big as I am! And you still haven’t answered my–”

          “Well I’m busy! If ya need me to move it, wait until I get back! Or how about when it's not the middle of the night!”

          Schwarzwälder took a step towards the door. Licorice Cookie took five steps to block his path.

          “Now you listen here!” He slammed his scythe into the ground. “I’ve taken enough of that—that attitude from everyone tonight! I’m not taking from you! What happened to me being your master, huh!? You better explain to me exactly what you’re doing, right now!”

          Licorice Cookie’s foot tapped against the ground like a hasty timer, counting down the seconds until Schwarzwälder apologized.

          Schwarzwälder growled.

          “You wanna try saying that again?”

          The werehound’s gaze grew sharper as he threw his shoulders back to full height. For the first time in ages, Licorice Cookie had to strain his neck just to keep eye contact.

          “Uh, um, I s-said…” Licorice Cookie cleared the stammer from his voice. “You heard me! I said—”

          “Forget it. I don’t got time for this.”

          Licorice Cookie yelped as Schwarzwälder shoved him aside like a crumpled-up wad of paper.

          “Hey! Wait! I’m not done talking to you!”

          But that didn’t matter. With his massive strides, Schwarzwälder was already long gone by the time Licorice Cookie had reached the hallway.

          One step at a time, Licorice Cookie returned to the training room. The last living dummy still bubble purple with its poisonous cursed: the only thing he’d accomplished in months.

          Not that anyone knew.

          Or cared.

          Or…

          “GAH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE!? Licorice Cookie slashed the straw dummy in two. It burst like a party ball, scattering inevitable hay fever all over the nice clean equipment. When the larger chunks of straw hit the ground, Licorice Cookie slammed his scythe into them until the tip went dull. His final slam split straight through the straw skull and left a dent in the ground. There wasn’t a trace of the curse left; only the lingering sent of anise remained. Licorice Cookie stood there who knows how long, alone in the silence until his ears started ringing and his lungs started aching.

          Then he remembered to breathe.

          “Stupid… jerks…” He inhaled, and he exhaled. “Why… why am I even here? If it’s all the same… it can’t be me! Right?”

          Before he had to actually answer that question, he jumped on the first available distraction: heavy footsteps. Licorice Cookie nearly slipped on the straw-covered dirt in his haste to open the door.

          “Hey! Schwarzwälder!”

          But it wasn’t Schwarzwälder who skidded to a halt.

          “Butter Roll Cookie? What are you–“

          “Oh good! That’s one!” Butter Roll Cookie turned with a wave. “Hey! Do you know where everyone else went?”

          “Eh?”

          “Or, maybe I’m overthinking this, heh um…” Butter Roll Cookie scratched chin, his thumb twitching a bit faster than usual. “More importantly, do you know where my cookie is?”

          “Uh, with Pomegranate Cookie?”

          “You know, that’s what I thought! Because we decided not to worry about any of this until tomorrow, right? But I just so happened to remember that I didn’t leave Pomegranate Cookie any post-anesthesia medication, to help with the dizziness in case my cookie woke up early! But then, when I peeked in, Pomegranate Cookie was the only one sleeping her room.”

          “WHAT!?”

          “But you know, it’s not like I get told about everything! So, I looked around to see if I’d missed a memo on who was watching my cookie. These things are bound to happen, you know!” Butter Roll Cookie’s grin tightened. “Except, and isn’t this a funny coincidence, Red Velvet Cookie wasn’t in his room. Same for Matcha Cookie. And that Choco Werehound Brute. And, well, you weren’t in your room either, but you’re here so that’s one problem solved! I don’t suppose you know where everyone else went, do you?”

          “I don’t know about Red Velvet Cookie or Matcha Cookie, but Schwarzwälder left on patrol a while–“

          Licorice Cookie remembered the blanket, the fluffy blanket, Schwarzwälder had shoved into his knapsack. Who takes a blanket on patrol?

          “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” Licorice Cookie slapped his forehead.

          “What? What is it? What happened to my cookie?”

          “Something reckless and stupid! That’s what!” Licorice Cookie grabbed his robe and threw it over his head as he ran half-blind for the exit corridor. The metal hatch loomed at the end path, as shiny and impenetrable as ever. It took both of Licorice Cookie’s hands just to hold the handle.

          “I swear, if that idiot’s doing what I think he’s doing, he’s not hearing the end of it from me!” He threw his entire body backwards. The handle turned a single inch. “Why wouldn’t he just tell me!? Since when does he make plans without me!?” Licorice Cookie gulped and adjusted his grip before pulling again. “And why is this door so heavy! Agh!”

          The handle ripped itself from Licorice Cookie’s grip. In two heaves, Butter Roll Cookie had the hatch undone.

          “Hey! What do you think you’re–“

          “No time to waste, right?” Butter Roll Cookie winked as he threw the hatch open. Licorice Cookie jumped out of the way, straight into a burst of humid night air. It’d been ages since he’d left the base, but the view was almost as he remembered: the lumpy grey stones, the jaw-like stalactites, the pathway carved from a stream that had long since run dry, a line of floating lights that let out into Faeriewood, and the still mugginess that blended sugar with minerals. The ground was littered indents in the dust, some as huge as a werehound’s paw… other’s no bigger than the average cookie.

          Butter Roll Cookie hopped over edge of the hatch, his boots kicking up a cloud of metallic powdered sugar, and he bounded for the cave’s exit.

          “Wait! Stop!” Licorice Cookie scrambled out after him. “You can’t leave the base! You’re a prisoner, remember!?”

          “You can lock me up once I find my cookie!” Butter Roll Cookie hollered. He didn’t stop for a second, rushing up and out of the cave as fast as his legs would take him. Licorice Cookie went after him, fumbling with his scythe and shouting curses all the while.

          A warm breeze blew through the cave and through the wide-open hatch.

          It rustled the loose strands of Affogato Cookie’s hair. Still in his silk jinbei pajamas, still wearing the milk and sage face mask he’d reapplied, he stood at the entrance with an unwavering deadpan. He muttered under his breath.

          “Pardon me, Licorice Cookie, could you keep the training down? We all agreed to sleep tonight, and I can’t do that with your shouts echoing through my bedroom wall.” With a groan, he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped away his face mask yet again. “But as I won’t be sleeping anyway, I may as well take the chance to get into Pomegranate Cookie’s good graces… after I get some clothes on.”

          Then he lifted his staff and, using a touch of violet magic, pulled the hatch shut.

═══════════

          The hours just before dawn belonged to Fairiewood. In the brief space after the stars faded and before the sun arose, the sky became a perfect shade of grey that blurred the line between it and the canopy of gnarled silver branches. Every leaf was embellished with crystals of dew while the crystals that sprouted from the ground flickered in the light of passing glow spores. Pathways through the woods were rare; only the thinnest lines of flavorless gravel could weave their way through the thick flora: oversized rafflesia flowers, fleshy swells of natural yeasts, and strange leafy bushes with no flavor at all.

          Schwarzwälder always found himself fighting his way forward when he was on patrol, and today was no different. His claws wacked through the leaves like machetes, leaving a trail of damage that he knew would be gone in a few hours. The wild deer would devour the leaves, the jelly tardigrades would devour the deer, the sugarcane gnomes would devour the tardigrades, and the gnomes would one day be devoured by the bushes: It was yet another web in the cycle of life, but this was the cycle of Beast Yeast.

          Which meant that even though it was beautiful, it was also faster, harsher, reckless, starving.

          “You cookies keeping up alright?” Schwarzwälder kept his voice low, just in case something was lurking.

          “I think so.” Red Velvet Cookie stepped carefully around the falling shrubbery. His claw was extended behind him, and the sleeping cookie, securely swaddled by a fluffy blanket, lay inside his palm. “I don’t recall seeing this path when I came through the first time.”

          “Course ya don’t! I built it myself!” laughed Schwarzwälder. “Got sick of getting burrs in my paw, so I grounded some boulders and laid it out! Best part is that those puny fairies are always flying so high, it might as well be invisible!”

          “How about you, Matcha Cookie? Are we moving too fast?”

          Matcha Cookie hummed. She trailed behind the group, holding tightly to the little cookie’s hand.

          “Mmmmm… shouldn’t? Awake now? Why not? Mmmmm. Hmph! Wake up!”

          “I’m sure they’ll be awake soon.” Red Velvet Cookie assured her. “Just watch your step, alright? You might trip on the foliage.”

          Matcha Cookie hummed again. With her staff, she swatted at a cluster of glowing spores that floated over the sleeping cookie. The glow spores flew backwards, lingering in the air for a moment, then drifted towards the little cookie again.

          “Pfftft! I don’t like it! Don’t like it! Everything’s too… too… bleck! Bleck!”

          “It won’t be much longer.” Red Velvet Cookie looked to Schwarzwälder. “Er, it shouldn’t be much longer, right?”

          “Nah! Maybe ten minutes tops! I can get to the beach in five if I’m running! The real question’s whether your boat’s still where you left it.”

          “I made sure it was secure when I landed, and there’s an illusion cast over the vessel as well; one of the few favors I can thank Pomegranate Cookie for.”

          “Ha! I bet she just wanted to make sure you had a way to get lost!”

          “I wouldn’t put it past her. I only wish I knew why she harbored so much resentment. It should never have come to this.”

          “Don’t worry about it. You’ll have plenty of time to work it out once your master comes back, right?”

          “Right.” Then his face suddenly crinkled. “You do mean our master, right?”

          “Huh? Oh! Right, right.”

          Before he could pursue the topic, Red Velvet Cookie felt a yank on his claw.

          “Matcha Cookie, what are you doing back there!?” He turned to see Matcha Cookie frantically waving away the glow spores with her staff. She used the claw’s fingers to anchor herself, walking in awkward spurts as she swatted at the spores.

          “They won’t go away!” Matcha Cookie hissed at the glowing cloud. “All of it! Everything! Won’t leave! Meh! Neh! Shoo! Shooooo!”

          “They’re just harmless spores. They’re not going to do anything.”

          “Not just spores! Nope! Look! Everything! It’s-it’s, looking! Looking. Pfffftttt!”

           “Matcha Cookie, I don’t know what you’re taking about.”

          “GAH! Then you look! Looook!”

          Red Velvet Cookie let his gaze wander to where Matcha Cookie was flailing. Dark forest, glowing spores, flowery clusters, shaded leaves: it was the same environment he had trekked through a month or so ago.

          However, as they continued to walk and he continued to stare, his hound eye finally caught the shift. When they passed a vibrant rafflesia, its petals curled in their direction. When they stepped beneath the low-hanging branches, those branches bent their silver frames as far as the metal allowed. The air was still, yet the leaves rustled after them, and those glowing spore swarms only grew thicker. Matcha Cookie was practically swinging her staff through clouds of pure light.

          “Schwarzwälder?” Red Velvet Cookie kept his eyes on the shifting flora. “Is that normal?”

          “Is what norma–WHOA! HOLD UP!”

           Red Velvet Cookie stopped with Schwarzwälder. Matcha Cookie stumbled into Red Velvet Cookie’s claw.

          “Meh! What’s the big idea!?”

          “SHHH! Give it a second.” Schwarzwälder motioned for them to lower their voices, just enough to hear a faint rustling coming from ahead. The group kept still as the rustling shifted in a steady rhythm. It started and stopped, inching closer with each rustle. Schwarzwälder raised his hammer. Red Velvet Cookie lay a protective finger around MyCookie. Matcha Cookie clenched her staff. Rustle and stop. Rustle and stop.

          A shrub of butterfly blossoms shook a few feet ahead of them, making the flowers look almost alive. Then it squelched onto the path.

          The blob was as tall as Schwarzwälder, constantly dripping from an endless supply of its own mottled green flesh. No arms, no legs, no fur or paws: only a few vague gaps in the goo that resembled a vacant expression.

          “PHEW!” Schwarzwälder lowered his hammer. “False alarm! Just one of these things.”

          “What is that?” Red Velvet Cookie sniffed, then gagged violently. “Ulgh! I have smelled rotting cookie corpses more appealing!”

          Schwarzwälder laughed as Red Velvet Cookie covered his nose. “I’d say breathe through your mouth, but the taste is worse than the smell! It’s some sorta mold monster, I s’pose? Beats me. Haven’t even seen one in a while. It’s harmless though.”

          “Mmmm... sure?” Matcha Cookie sneered and squished the little cookie’s hand tighter.

          “Sure I’m sure! They’re just some braindead plant thing. AIN’T THAT RIGHT!?”

          The blob’s “face” shifted from one side of its form to the other. The “mouth” hung in a permanent lockjaw. The “eyes” lay black and empty. The blob stood perfectly still as its flesh continued to bubble and flow all around it. Schwarzwälder turned back to the cookies with a smirk.

          “See? What’d I tell ya? Completely brainless!”

          A horrendous sound erupted from the blob: something between swamp gas and dying scream.

          Then the blob lunged for them.

          “Eeeeeee!”

          “Schwarzwälder!”

          “Huh!?” Just as the werehound’s head turned, he was swallowed by the mass of goo. He tried to shout, but his jaw only filled with the soured milk flavor of mold. His arms could barely budge as the goo flooded past them. Then almost as quickly, he was released onto the ground, his fur dripping with sludge as he forced himself to swallow. The blob wasn’t the least bit disturbed as it charged for Red Velvet Cookie, mouth opened almost as wide as its body.  With his claw clenched around the little cookie, Red Velvet Cookie leapt aside. Matcha Cookie leapt after him, and the blob slammed into a nearby tree. The blob went splat against the silver bark, then swelled back into itself, perfectly unharmed. It turned back towards the cookies again with low, watery roar.

          “Harmless huh!? HUH!?” jeered Matcha Cookie.

          “I’M TELLING YOU IT WAS!” Schwarzwälder shook the goo from his mane. “AND IT’S STILL BRAINLESS ENOUGH FOR ME TO CLOBBER!”

          As the blob charged for the cookies, Schwarzwälder cut straight into its path. When the blob tried to charge through again, he slammed his hammer down. The weapon fell with a smack, splattering goo in all directions and bringing the blob to a hault.

          “YEAH!” Schwarzwälder pulled on his hammer. “WHA!? HEY! IT’S STUCK!”

          He yanked on his hammer. He yanked harder and harder as the blob began to reform around it. Its eye holes rose to meet him, now narrowed into slits as its mouth widened over Schwarzwälder head. With a roar, he finally yanked his hammer free and swung it straight into the blob’s face. Another splatter of goo fell across the woodland floor and again, his hammer was held fast.

          “Matcha Cookie, you need to hide.” Red Velvet Cookie slid MyCookie into Matcha Cookie’s unexpecting arms.”

          “Huh!? Hey! You can’t–“

          “I can’t use my sword and watch the young cookie. And you have no combat experience.”

          “But I do–“

          “You do not! And you’ve used more than enough magic for one night!”

          “You can’t tell–“

          “I can, and I will not argue over this!” Red Velvet Cookie took his sword in claw. “You must keep the little cookie safe! That’s what all this is for, isn’t it!?”

          Matcha Cookie muttered, but adjusted her grip on MyCookie so she could move. Red Velvet Cookie nodded.

          “Keep a safe distance. Find some place to hide where none of these creatures can reach you. Once the coast is here, we’ll find you so don’t try anything or push yourself until we do.”

           Her lips wrinkled and pouted, she hummed and grumbled, then she hurried off the path.

          “YOU READY TO HELP OUT OVER HERE!?” Schwarzwälder pulled his hammer free for the third time. The blob had risen to boil, sloshing left and right to gather its missing pieces before stretching as tall as a tree.

          “More than ready.” In a single bound, Red Velvet Cookie flew to the blob’s side. His serrated blade cut cleanly through the blob’s upper half. Schwarzwälder swung his hammer into the loose piece, sending it flying off into the woods. Another swing of the sword, another swing of the hammer: the beautiful forest became painted in ugly greens.

          And yet, just as quickly as the cakehounds sliced into it, the blob continued to reform.

═══════════

          The little cookie’s head rested on Matcha Cookie’s shoulder. The little cookie’s body was firmly secured in her arms. Her legs moved on their own, leaving her plenty of space to mutter through her thoughts.

          “Mmmm! Mmm! Not too much! Where? Where to hide? Hide? Hiding back home! Back home! Gah! Why even listen!? Wrong! Wrong! Where!? What way!? Which way!? Gah! Gah!”

          Leaves and branches twisted after her every step, grasping at her robes and threatening to pull her into the underbrush. She didn’t hate the idea: sinking into the cold earth with the roots and the gummy worms. If she were underground, her horns wouldn’t be dripping from the humidity. Her bare feet wouldn’t be sore and bruised from the gravel, and those spores wouldn’t still be chasing after them.

          “Grrrrr! Go away! Go away!” She blew at the spores to knock them back and ran even faster. She had no idea where she was going, and whether she was getting too far away from the fight never crossed her mind.

          The little cookie stirred against her shoulder.

          “Ma…mama? Matcha?” The slurred words were barely whispers, but Matcha Cookie was listening.

          “Awake! Finally!” With the spores behind a safe distance, she slowed to a trot. “Mm-hmm! Matcha! It’s me!”

          “Whu happeb… buh… buh procedure?”

          “Hmph! Nope! None of that! None!”

          “Nooo?” The little cookie whimpered. “Did I… muss it up?”    

          “No no! Not a mess!” Matcha Cookie gave MyCookie a tight hug. “Only uh… meh heh… errr… gotta go… away! Yes! Away away! Outside!”

          “Owwsiii? We outside?” The little cookie smiled into Matcha Cookie’s shoulder. “I mus be all big now. Biiiiiiig.”

          Matcha Cookie didn’t answer. A yeast spore the size of her head—neon green and covered with parasitic hairs—was eyeing them from behind a silver tree.

          “R-right! Hide! Hide… hmmmm… Not alive. Not looking…” She clung to the little cookie as tightly as possible while she searched the forest. “Mmmm… Where… what not alive? Hmmm? Heh heh heh… hmm? Aha!”

          At last, she came upon a fallen silver tree. All its leaves and loveliness had rotten away long ago—another victim of the humid climate. One end was tarnished brown. To reveal a hollow space. There was just enough room to tuck the little cookie.

          “Matcha? Where you gowin?”

          “Not going! Just… you’re sleepy! Hmph! Slow us down! Go sleep! Wake up later! I’ll be—heh heh—riiiiight here.” Matcha Cookie ripped a handful of leaves and scattered them over the little cookie. They weren’t as soft as her matcha leaves, but they would do.

          “Mmmm I do feel weepy.” MyCookie snuggled into the leaves. “Mmmm kay…”

          Matcha Cookie watched as MyCookie’s eyes closed. She waited until she could see the tension fade from the little cookie body. She almost smiled.

          Then with a wide swing, she spun around and smacked the yeast spore that had snuck up on her.

          “Get outta here! Out! Out!”

          The creature screeched almost as loudly as she did. There were more creatures lurking in the trees—ones that floated and ones that crawled, ones too tiny to see and ones as big as her—but all took pause when the green spore floated away in pain. Matcha Cookie smirked. Her staff glowed a brilliant green.

          “Hee hee hee! Think I was harmless? I was running? Hee hee nope! I got plenty of magic to show you! Show you all!”

          The creatures hesitated.

          Then a black spore moth dared to flutter closer.

          “I said I’d show you!”

          Matcha Cookie attacked mercilessly, firing off magic seeds at bullet speed. The spore moth’s wings were punctured. A tanghulu-gora was mashed like a potato. Spores of all shapes were pounded into powder, and when an eyeberry spore thought it had the drop on her, Matcha Cookie called forth a matcha vine and flung the creature into the stratosphere. By the time Matcha Cookie was panting for breath, the creatures had resigned themselves to staring from afar.

          “Ha! Ha ha ha! I showed you! More enough magic, hmm? Pft! I can protect! All myself! Strong enough! Just you call, and you’ll see! Just you–“

          “Matcha Cookie!”

          But it wasn’t Red Velvet Cookie calling. Or Schwarzwälder.

          The creatures had a faster response than she did. In the blink of an eye, they fled from the incoming voice. Matcha Cookie barely had time to steel her grip before he bounded through the trees.

          “It is you!” Butter Roll Cookie’s goggles were crooked, his apron was dotted with burrs, and his loosened curls bounced as he caught his breath. “Matcha Cookie! Where’s my cookie!?”

          Matcha Cookie snarled. A dozen seeds rose into the air.

          “Go. Away.”

          “Where is my cookie, Matcha Cookie!?”

          “I said go awa-“

          “Is my cookie safe or not!?”

           His tone made Matcha Cookie flinch. She fought the urge to glance at the dead tree.

          “Mmm… yes. Safe. Much more safe.”

          “Then we need to get it back to the base. Where–ow!”

          A single seed bounced off his forehead.

          “No! No base! No go! Not with you! Heh, nope! Never! Never ever!”

          “But it’s not safe–“

          “Not safe is with you!” She flung another seed at his forehead, and this one hit harder. “You and your lying! Your sneaking! You, you—you would hurt! You hurt the cookie! Hm!? Hmmmm!?”

          Butter Roll Cookie took a long look at Matcha Cookie, who in turn forced herself not to blink against his starry gaze. Then closed his eyes and reached up to adjust his goggles.

          “I did want to discuss this with you tomorrow, but I suppose there’s no time like the present!” When he lowered his hands, he had a smile as bright as the twinkle in his eyes. “I know you have a poor opinion of me right now. I can understand where you’re coming from. But I sincerely don’t want to damage my cookie. I’ve taken every precaution since the beginning to ensure its health and development. Even considering what you think we were doing, we were handling the procedure to ensure minimal possible harm.”

          Matcha Cookie’s glare didn’t waver once.

          “My point is that we both want the same thing. We both want to make sure that my cookie properly matures. We both want to prevent conflict with our coworkers. We both want to help Dark Enchantress Cookie achieve her vision. Isn’t that right?”

          Her forehead, her cheeks, and her mouth all wrinkled in thought. For a second, her seeds descended. Then she shook her head and raised her staff again.

          “Master wouldn’t want this.”

          “Ah, I’m guessing that’s what Red Velvet Cookie told you.” Butter Roll Cookie rubbed his chin. “But are you sure about that? To my knowledge, that cookie hasn’t been anywhere near Dark Enchantress Cookie for a long time. Are you sure he’s the best judge of what she wants? Do you think this is what she wants?”

          Matcha Cookie wrung the lumpy handle of her staff with a loud hum.

          “I won’t pretend I know for sure either, but I do think that charging into the woods at the crack of dawn isn’t the best play if you’re not sure about something.” Butter Roll Cookie laughed. “This forest isn’t a safe place for any cookie and especially for my cookie. Having it out here puts its welfare, along with the whole project, in serious jeopardy! That’s why we need to go back. We can discuss things more once my cookie is safe. That sounds fair, right?”

          When Butter Roll Cookie stepped forward, her entire body tensed. She leapt back, and her magic seeds shone with a violent shade of green.

          “I’m not going to hurt you, Matcha Cookie. You’re an incredible cookie, and I want to work with you, not against you. That hasn’t changed one bit. Not even after all this! All I want is a chance. Just come back to the base with me, and I promise we can work this out.”

           His hand was held out, as warm and inviting as freshly baked bread, and she stared it down. She bit her lips to keep her thoughts in her head. Thoughts like:

          It was dangerous out here, and she’d seen that herself.

          She didn’t want to go to the cake tower anyway.

          Maybe she had misunderstood everything.

          It wasn’t too late to turn back now.

          Master might not care about MyCookie at all.

          No, not even that.

          Master absolutely didn’t care about MyCookie.

          How could she? She didn’t even care about…

          So, what was she even doing all this for?

          One of Matcha Cookie’s hands released the staff. She watched her hand waver in midair, feeling stiff and empty. She watched her hand move. She watched it reach out. She watched it hover inches from Butter Roll Cookie’s hand.

          But then, she clenched it shut.

          “Why?”

          She didn’t hear him ask for clarification. She clarified anyway.

          “Why incredible? No one else thinks so. They think I’m ugly, annoying, smelly, stupid. So… why? Why do you want to work with me? Why do you… care?”

          Matcha Cookie couldn’t define the expression on Butter Roll Cookie’s face. Maybe surprise? But a dull surprise, like the emotion had been hidden in the back of a cabinet and fallen out on accident. No wonder he immediately scrambled back to jolliness; the feeling fit him better.

          “Because you’re a real anomaly! That’s why!” He grinned. “I mean, a fully functioning cookie, baked without any of the witch’s magic, missing a key ingredient, but still able to live with only minor personality disorders. A unique brand of magic, a fascinating connection to dark energies, and that’s not even considering your incredible life powder! Just when I think I’ve learned everything I can from you, it always turns out you have another discovery just out of reach! It’s incredible! Who wouldn’t want to work with a cookie like yo–”

          “ENOUGH!”

          A sudden swarm of seeds forced Butter Roll Cookie back.

          “Ow! Matcha Cookie I–“

          “Enough, enough, enough!” Matcha Cookie’s chest heaved up and down, her fury nearly suffocating her. Her grip on her staff threatened to splinter it. The seeds shone so darkly they were nearly camouflaged. “Wrong! Wrong wrong wrong! You’re wrong about everything! Everything is wrong!”

          “I’m sorry!” A thick seed rammed into Butter Roll Cookie’s arm, leaving a dent in his dough. “I’m sorry! I thought you wanted to know why–“

          “Why Is wrong! It’s all wrong! All wrong!” The force of Matcha Cookie words could have crunched her own teeth. “No one sees! No one notices! No one loves! No one recognizes! And you! You’re worst of all!”

          The seeds kept coming, each one sharper than the last. Welts were forming in Butter Roll Cookie’s dough, each blow threatened to knock him over, but he refused to retreat as Matcha Cookie shouted.

          “Just a cookie, hm! I never tried to be a cookie! Never asked! Never wanted! Should have grown in the dark! All alone! Why!? Why not leave her alone!? Never needed the light! Only wanted the dark! Doesn’t need legs! Doesn’t need magic! Doesn’t need anyone! Anything! Nothing! Let her be nothing! Leave her alone! Leave us both alone!”

          Her eyes were on fire, wrapped in a glow of pure malice that couldn’t see anything beyond it.

          “Matcha Cookie, stop! Please!” With a desperate plea, Butter Roll Cookie forced himself closer. “I understand you’re upset, but why can’t we just talk about this?”

          “You don’t understand!”

          Every step he took forward made Matcha Cookie’s heartbeat faster. Every ounce of life powder in her dough trembled. Her seeds had doubled in size, and there was practically black. She was a boiling tea kettle, whistling with all her might but never pulled from the fire. Not until now, when she burst beneath the pressure.

          “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING BUT YOURSELF!”

          When the cursed seeds rained down, it was Butter Roll Cookie’s turn to scream. He fell to the ground, desperately clutching his face.

          The sound was cathartic.

          “He he he he! He he he he!” As Matcha Cookie’s eyes cleared, her mouth spun a wicked grin. “Incredible!? Anomaly!? Hee hee hee! Now you see my true power! Now you see what I am! So leave me! Leave us alone! Go away forever! Hee hee hee! Heh... heh…”

          Why was he still screaming?

          Matcha Cookie’s moment of relief faded with the last of her adrenaline. She found herself clenching her staff for support. She also found an odd lump forming in her stomach.

          Butter Roll Cookie continued to clench his face. His screams were short and agonized and could not contain when even he clenched his teeth. His over mitt had always been red, but now his other hand was stained to match. Between his fingers dripped a steady flow of dark jam. He wheezed and shook, his cookie hand digging tighter and tighter into his face. His suffering made Matcha Cookie’s head spin, but she could not look away until she understood what she was looking at.

          With a strained scream, Butter Roll Cookie tore his hand from his face.

          Tore? He should have just lowered it, right?

          His left eye was clenched and the icing that made up his eyelid was soaked red. From there, a trail of jam ran down his face and fell all the way to Butter Roll Cookie’s hand. His entire body shook with his heavy breaths. His hands shook even more, the dough so red that she couldn’t see what he was holding. She stared harder, and harder, and even harder. She stared just as hard as he did.

          Even caked in buttery jam, the smooth shape of the matcha seed was easy to identify, but the rest blended in almost perfectly with the scarlet. There was a small collection of glass-like shards he’d barely grabbed in time and a smooth half circle he’d just torn from his face.

          They were all that remained of Butter Roll Cookie’s candy button eye.

          A squeak leapt out of Matcha Cookie’s throat. She threw her hand over her mouth to keep it inside. And she stared. She couldn’t stop staring.

          “How about that? You… you got me good!” Butter Roll Cookie chuckled. Even as he wheezed and shook from the pain, a smile quivered onto his face. “Wow! Dark Enchantress Cookie… made a real amazing cookie. Didn’t she?”

          Matcha Cookie didn’t say anything. It took all her strength just to process what she was looking at. Butter Roll Cookie took a rag from his apron pocket and wrapped the jam-soaked shards of his eye. Then he slipped the whole thing back into his pocket.

          “Could… I be honest for a second? For once?” His cheery voice flickered in and out of focus. “I… don’t know. I really don’t. Know. If I can ever make the cookie I want.” He gave a hearty laugh. “I don’t even know if I can even make another cookie like my cookie! I don’t have a clue!”

          He kept laughing as he rose to his feet. Both of his eyes were closed: one because he wanted to, one because he had to.

          “But… you know what I am sure of? Beyond the shadow of a doubt?”         

          No matter how badly Matcha Cookie begged, she couldn’t get her feet to move.

          “Well, I’ll tell you!” He reached for his whisk. “After all this. I am absolutely sure. That. If she really wanted to? Dark Enchantress Cookie?”

          Butter Roll Cookie’s whisk burst into flames.

          His single eye opened: starless, empty, dead.  

          He was not smiling.

         “Could make another one of you.”

          With each passing line of the report, Coffee Candy Cookie had been inching further and further towards the edge of her seat. When Baguette Cookie coughed, Coffee Candy Cookie nearly fell over.

          “Excuse me.” Baguette Cookie coughed a few more times into her arm. “It’s been a while since I’ve read aloud for this long. My throat is a bit dry.”

          “Do you need some more coffee!?”

          “No, no more this late.” Seeing Coffee Candy Cookie’s wide eyes, she added. “But some water would–”

          Coffee Candy Cookie’s seat was empty; she was already at the cooler, filling up a cheap paper cup with purified water. Baguette Cookie gave a single chuckle under her breath.

          Then looked at the printer. Hours into their reading session, and the machine was still chugging away with this strange divergence. With every chug, Baguette Cookie asked herself the same question: when was it going to end?  

          Baguette Cookie pushed up her glasses and ran her hand over the most recent segment. To give the matter a level of open honesty that she would never allow an employee to see, she had expected to have figured this out by now. Most errors in the system tended to be simple enough to spot. Just last week, two alternate divergences contained two sets of the same Cookiemals in two separate locations. The system had flagged the divergence as time travel, but upon closer inspection, she’d discovered the name “Cookiemals” had been incorrectly attributed to a group of Cream Critters. The employee responsible had been written up, and the error had been resolved in exactly three hours and twenty-five minutes. On the other hand, this alternate reality report wasn’t even fully printed and even as dawn approached, the reason for the report remained a mystery.

          …

          No, no that wasn’t right. After all, only one cookie had the clearance to create such a report, let alone such a detailed one, and insert it into the system. Baguette Cookie knew who that cookie was. She had even been kind enough to leave a clue from the very first line: a clue that answered absolutely nothing. The question of “who” was the least of Baguette Cookie’s concerns. It was the “when” and “what” and “why” that bothered her. Each second, she didn’t have those answers was another second the company lost, another second her managerial ability was put into question. If she could just–

          “Here’s your water!”

          Baguette Cookie was dragged from her thoughts by a small splash of water on her lap.

          “Agh! I’m so sorry! Let me get some– “

          “It’s only water, and my coat is absorbent enough.” She took the cup in both hands and sipped what was left. A shame their purifier left such a pool-like taste in her mouth, but it was at least refreshing. “Has the divergence rattled you?”

          “How could it not!?” Coffee Candy Cookie hopped back to her seat. “I’ve read a lot about Dark Enchantress Cookie’s minions in other timelines, but this is on a whole other level! I mean… is Matcha Cookie going to be ok? What about the little cookie!? And what about Red Velvet Cookie and Schazzzwabler and that dough monster!?”

          “You wouldn’t be the first employee to find entertainment in alternate timelines but take care not to grow too invested.”

          “Um… ah! Chapter 1, section 8! Staff members must avoid emotional connections whereas they interfere with creating unbiased records.”

          “Not that most employees uphold that one.” She commented to the bottom of the paper cup. “Now, back to the divergence. I believe the recorder has switched perspectives again.”

          Baguette Cookie cleared her throat.

          “Pomegranate Cookie and Poison Mushroom Cookie ran through the dark forest…”

          A flash of copper stopped her reading. Coffee Candy Cookie had her hand raised.

          “You’re an employee of the Time Balance Department as a result of several years of excellent education and high praise from various establishments.” Baguette Cookie set the paper on her lap and folded her hands on top. “You do not need to raise your hand like a grade schooler.”

          “Y-yes ma’am!” Coffee Candy Cookie’s hand withered back to her notepad. “W-well, I think I might have noticed something interesting. Maybe even, something that could explain why we have this divergence?”

          The young employee waited for Baguette Cookie’s response but received only silence. A patient silence, without scorn or irritation, but certainly not an inviting one. The door was open, but there wasn’t exactly a red carpet.

          Coffee Candy Cookie steeled her nerves and firmly flipped open her notepad.

          “This divergence was originally flagged to have the presence of an L-class Cookie. However, even this far into the divergence, there’s no evidence of an L-class cookie! We assumed the L-class cookie was Dark Enchantress Cookie since her minions were all present, but she hasn’t made a single appearance in the timeline herself. I double checked my notes, and she wasn’t even present for the little cookie’s creation! Pomegranate Cookie and Affogato Cookie mention her whereabout in passing, but if this is an L-class divergence, shouldn’t she have been here in person? Even if the recorder mistakenly picked up an alternate reality, the recorder should have flagged her search for the dragons, not little cookie, and it certainly shouldn’t have gone on this long!”

          Baguette Cookie nodded, and Coffee Candy Cookie flipped through her notes even more intensely.

          “The only thing I can think of is that there is an L-class cookie present in this divergence, but for some reason we can’t pick up on it! So then, well, this part’s only a guess.” She fiddled the clicker on her pen. “What class are Beast Cookies considered? Assuming you have clearance to tell me, I mean!”

          “As cookies who are only present in one reality, they fall under the unique BE-Class.”

          “Oh, but… would that be considered equivalent to L-Class?”

          “…possibly.”

          “I see.” Coffee Candy Cookie hid her disappointment behind a fresh batch of notes.

          Baguette Cookie winced. It was irksome to be so cryptic, but she was already pushing the boundaries by bringing up their level. Really, it was for the young employee’s own good to remain in the dark. The last thing she needed was to draw attention for the wrong reasons.

          But… Coffee Candy Cookie had found the clue, even if she’d lacked the information to put the pieces together.

          In honor of that achievement, Baguette Cookie smiled.

          “My throat is still a bit tired… perhaps you wouldn’t mind reading for a while?”

          The scroll was already in Coffee Candy Cookie’s hands.

          “Oh! But what about my notes!?”

          “I shall handle them for now.” Returning to her stern expression, Baguette Cookie picked up the notepad. The contents were the perfect blend of elegantly organized notes, frantically footnoted observations, and tiny rough diagrams of key objects. She’d even drawn a rainbow shroomie. Baguette Cookie flipped to a fresh page and raised the pen. Coffee Candy Cookie loudly cleared her throat.

          “Pomegranate Cookie and Poison Mushroom Cookie ran through the dark forest, unaware that their party was a member short.” Coffee Candy Cookie began. “You know ma’am, a lot of these problems could have been avoided if Dark Enchantress Cookie was there.”

          “That sounds like a judgement.”

          “No, no! It’s just an observation! Really!” Her pigtails bounced with the force of her shaking head. “I mean, this divergence would have gone completely differently if she was here. Objectively speaking, I mean. Maybe that’s a clue too!”

          Baguette Cookie nudged her glasses at just the right angle to reflect the light of a screen; that way, it would be impossible to guess her thoughts from the look in her eyes.

          “I will make a note of it.”

          She set the ballpoint pen to the very first line and wrote in a neat, functional cursive the name of Earthbread’s most fearsome villainess.

═══════════

          Dark Enchantress Cookie gazed upon a gloomy horizon. The dawn sky was a dismal grey, and its reflection turned the sea into a murky abyss, only broken by the froth of the waves.

          This place was the Isle of Life, and its name was the epitome of irony. A huge mound of rock, jagged and misshaped by erosion, it appeared to have been dropped in the middle of the Jellyfish Ocean without rhyme or reason. The fish she’d seen from her boat were all swimming in the other direction. The birds refused to fly overhead. It was dead but… peaceful.

          She breathed in the salty mists. She felt the damp wind brush her bangs. She watched the furthest edge of the water, waiting for the sun to rise.

          “It’s a beautiful view.”

          It was the gentle voice of her greatest foe, yet her expression didn’t budge.

          He spoke again.

          “I’m sure it will be even more beautiful when the light hits the water.”

          “I believe that is a matter of perspective, is it not?”

          He chuckled against her ear, as light as a butterfly.

          “Do you remember when we all used to watch the sunrise together?”

          Dark Enchantress Cookie snorted.

          “Ah yes. I remember those days.” She lied. “When we would all sit on the edge of the Vanilla Kingdom with our legs dangling over the edge and wait for the morning to catch up.”

          “I recall how Golden Cheese Cookie would always grumble that sun should be hers.” He lied back. “The one piece of gold she could never hold in her hands.”

          “And Dark Cacao Cookie would grumble because the sunshine always hurt his eyes.”

          “And Hollyberry Cookie would laugh at the both of them. She’d call them grouches and say they should loosen themselves up with a drink.”

          “And then she’d pull them both away with an arm tossed around their necks.”

          “And then that merry group would be reduced to two. A tenderhearted king with his cheeks flushed and his heart pounding…”

          “And a soft-spoken scholar with her eyes lowered, pretending she didn’t notice his nerves…”

          “Waiting in blissful silence for another wonderful day.” He sighed. “Such a dear memory.”

          “I’m sure it was.” A wicked smirk crept across her lips. “But then, I suppose one would cling to any memory when forced to watch from imprisonment. Wouldn’t they, beast?”

          His voice cracked, rising from a soft laugh to a cavalcade of sharped giggles.

           “I could say the same thing for your shattered soul, now couldn’t I?” Jeered another voice entirely. “I’m surprised you can remember anything with that black abyss you call a brain. You’re due for some serious spring cleaning.”

          “Perhaps. But perhaps, instead of these foolish games, you could explain yourself?”

          “Awwww what? Do I need a reason to visit my most favorite-ist cookie in the whole wide world?” She could imagine his squished cheeks and the cheeky grin between them. “We were having such fun too! Can’t we play a little longer? Just imagine the PureLily headcanons we could create!”

          “I’d be more than happy to… if that is the only reason you called me out here.”

          “Whaaaat!?” The voice jumped back. “Why, whatever could you mean!?”

          “Not a scrap of my research has revealed any connection between the dragons and Beast-Yeast. Nearly all of their history was recorded near the Tropical Soda Islands. And yet, with no rhyme or reason, a detailed map appears in the final page of the book I was reading.” She patted the dark bag where the book still sat. “Whoever you had create it, they crafted quite a clever forgery. Had it not been so perfectly timed or placed, I may have never suspected a thing.”

          “Oh! Oh! Now you’ve hurt my feelings! Accusing me—me, of all cookies—of tricking you! Oh, how cruel! I might just… just…”

          She waited for his sniffling to subside before continuing.

          “I will concede that I entertained the possibility of its truth. Perhaps Longan Dragon would have fled to this desolate place to avoid the irritation of cookies… though it seems the cookies were here first.”

          She peered down the cliffside where a curved metal pipe was submerged in the stone. Not long ago, she had been standing inside that gaping hole. Based on its rust and dried traces of seaweed, the pipe had been there for quite some time.

          “It’s quite a fantastic facility here.” She continued. “Built into the island, well out of sight; full of technology far too advanced for its era; and to be placed so near to Beast-Yeast? Why, I’d think this isle was built just for me.”

          “Well, now you’re just being arrogant.”

          “Arrogance is having a lofty view of oneself. And I have a very accurate view of myself.”

          The voice burst out laughing.

          “Aren’t you just the cutest thing!? Thinking you’re so strong and powerful. I bet you still think you’re going to steal my power. Don’t you?”

          “I wouldn’t be the first to do so.”

          Something clenched the back of her mind. Claws dug into her brain, pressing every neuron until they threatened to burst. Dark Enchantress Cookie’s breathe caught, but she forced herself to remain steady. She took slow, even breaths, and let the pain linger however long it wished to.

          The phantom hand slowly retracted until it felt more like a pat on the head.

          “So adorable! Who doesn’t love a cookie with confidence?! Is it any surprise you have so many braindead lemmings trailing after you? Not as many as I did back in the ✧Prime of my Life✧, but not bad for a mere cookie. You have quite the fanclub.” The voice swam from one ear to the other. “It’s been real chaos over there, lemme tell ya, a full-blown soap opera! Surprised I haven’t seen had a case of amnesia or a long-lost twin brother yet!”

          “That doesn’t surprise me. I always assume Pomegranate Cookie’s reports are biased.” Dark Enchantress Cookie mused. “Care to share any interesting developments?”

          “If you say please.”

          “If you say thank you.”

          “Touche, my lady! Touche!” He cackled. “Well, you know that cookie body they’ve been working on for the beast cookies? The one that’s developing well and has no issues?”

          If a normal cookie had placed that much emphasis when finger quoting, their fingers would have snapped. Thankfully, he didn’t have any fingers at the moment.

          “Well! I swung in a while back for little peeksie. We’ve all been dying to see your masterpieces in the glorious flesh, so I popped in for a look and—lo and behold! —the thing was occupied! Here I was expecting to move right on in, only to find some little squatter in my would-be body!”

          “A curious development.”

          “Of course, I, being the noble hero that I am, boldly prepared to drive off the little scoundrel. A few pulls of the stage curtain, a scattering of shadows, just the right touch of terrors beyond mortal comprehension—it was some of my best work, I must say. I would have had that fiend taking a psychological swan dive!”

          “I’m sure it was quite the performance. So, what happened next?”

          “I got bored.”

          Dark Enchantress Cookie gaze narrowed, though no one was around to see it.

          “Bored.”

          “Yep. Bored. B-O-R-E-D. And so, with a scattering of emotional scars and while possibly popping a third eye open, I left.”

          “That’s a rather abrupt ending, wouldn’t you say?”

          “What, did you think every story was gonna my magnum opus? I am a dynamic character, you know! I move where the plot demands.”

           “Is that so?” She spun her staff lazily in her hand. “I wouldn’t think anything could demand a great beast to move.”

          “HMMMM ok. Yeah, I think you’re taking that metaphor a little too literally there.” He said, a faint bite to his tone. “Besides, my friends and I have had some time to chit-chat and we decided not to bother with the whole body thing.”

          “What!?” Her surprise got away from her. “Why on Earthbread not!?”

          “Because reality is about to end.”

          He said it so nonchalantly that, for almost a full minute, she waited for him to continue. Instead, all she heard was the crashing waves beneath her, the rushing winds around her. Questions crackled on her tongue, but again she steadied herself. She gave a careless hum.

          “You don’t seem particularly concerned.”

          “Should I be?”

          Another hum as her brain brewed her next move.

          “I would not expect one of the mighty beasts to cave so quickly to Armageddon.”

          “Oh, there you go again, trying to paint me as some weak little cookie. Me! The one who has brought kingdoms to their knees. Who has driven the greatest minds to insanity? You think the loss of one measly little reality is going to ruffle these feathers? You truly would think me so lowly?” His voice pranced from one ear to the other. “But it isn’t that, is it? You don’t think I’m a weakling; you just think you’re a big shot. You think your something special, that you deserve to speak to me just because gave first-degree burns to a few novice witches. I can’t say I blame you for the superiority complex. After all, your very existence was baked from the loss of everything you ever wanted. Now all that you can do is boast and sneer and scramble after whatever power you’re delusional enough to think you have. You’re not even half a cookie. You’re practically nothing at all!”

          Dark Enchantress Cookie heard none of it: the waves, the taunts, the winds, the wild laughter he broke into. She only heard what she wanted to hear.

          “So then… there are other realities?”

          “…”

          “And those realities must have you in them. And me as well. Otherwise, you’d have done better to harass me about the futility of my oncoming death than the arrogance of my present self. Besides, you tempted me to come to desolate island, a place where no prying ears could hear me, with a flawless excuse none of my followers would question. Why make such an effort if my life is already forfeit?” She found herself straightening her posture and narrowing her smile. “That story of the body you abandoned… surely a master of deceit could have embellished his tale, yet instead you chose to brush past the details that displeased you. A lie of omission, but for what purpose? What details did you wish to be heard?”

          Dark Enchantress Cookie felt a numbness at the back of her mind. She could not sense the feelings within it.

          “Whatever may be coming, I do not fear it.” She said with a sneer. “Regardless of it all, I will destroy Earthbread. I will rebuild it as I see fit. I will see those witches pay with their blood. I will not let any dessert nor any human stand in my way.”

          “…you know, confidence is nice and all, but you know what I personally think is your number one-character trait?” The voice slithered through her skull with the cool weight of a thousand playful gazes. “You’ve got a real one-track mind for revenge.”

          “Such a compliment.” Dark Enchantress Cookie smiled. “Shall I take it that my words have pleased the great and powerful beast?”

          “Ehhhhh eight out of ten. Could use less sarcasm, though hey! I’m not one to judge there!” He chuckled. “And you didn’t exactly answer anything, you know. What!? Scared I’m going to give you a lobotomy if you say the wrong thing? What sort of unstable maniac do you take me for!?”

          “On the contrary, I take you for a master of knowledge. One who will give me whatever answer pleases him. And which, in turn, shall please me, if our goals remain one in the same.”

          “Destroy the world, rebuild it in my image, kill the witches. Yep! That sounds like my bucket list!”

          At long last, a single ray of sunlight burst from the horizon. It flew across the sea faster than the eye could see, and yet, somehow it never touched Dark Enchantress Cookie. Even as the Isle of Life brightened, she remained in perfect shadow.

          “So then, what is the answer? What should I do with this reality before its end?”

          Pure Vanilla Cookie’s voice returned once more as brilliant as the rising dawn.

          “Why, you should do what I always do when I want something. You should write a letter.”

          Pomegranate Cookie and Poison Mushroom Cookie ran through the dark forest, unaware that their party was a member short. Although the glowing flora illuminated their trail of footprints, the wild fauna erased them just as quickly. Time was running out, and yet the faster Pomegranate Cookie ran, the more times she stepped on the edge of her robe. She’d fumble forward, barely catching herself before she faceplanted, and kick up a cloud of spores and pollen that made their path even harder to see.

          “When I get my hands on that bull-headed excuse for a general!” She cursed between coughs. “Of all the reckless! Irresponsible! Arrogant!”

          She gave up her list of insults and picked up the speed. It was hard enough to breathe given the humidity; she had no air to waste on irritation. Instead, as she ducked beneath bushes and fired black magic at curious spores, she repeated a single thought.

          For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake.

          As steady as a drum, as constant as a tumor, with those words, Pomegranate Cookie bundled her robes in one hand and pushed her legs all the harder.

          For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake.

          In the same second that a candyceps deer stepped onto the past, her blast of black magic sent it screeching off into the woods.

          For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake.

          “OOF!”

          Pomegranate Cookie skidded to a stop. She looked over her shoulder.

          Poison Mushroom Cookie had tripped on a rock and was lying face down in the mud.

          “You must move faster!” She doubled back and pulled Poison Mushroom Cookie up by the arm. “They may have already reached the beach by now!”

          “Sorryyyyyy.” The short cookie groaned. “I’m still soooooo sleepy.”

          “Then you should go back. There was no reason for you to come with us.”

          “But… what if you need shroooooomies!?”

          Another pair of those big purple baby-doll eyes; another groan from Pomegranate Cookie: this debate had already played out back at the base, and she did not wish to have it again. She linked her arm with Poison Mushroom Cookie, then laced the shroom-scented hand with her own, just to be safe.

          “Then you must stay by my side, and you must walk quickly. Do you understand?

          Poison Mushroom Cookie gave her a huge nod.

          It was at that moment, Pomegranate Cookie finally noticed.

          “Where is Affogato Cookie? Did he not come with us?”

          “Ohhhh! He got… tiiiiired.” Poison Mushroom Cookie waved an arm back the way they’d come. “Gonna catch his breath! Against a biiiiiig tree. I threw him a shrooooooomie and said, “Catch up sooooon!”

          “Well, never mind him.” Pomegranate Cookie rubbed her head. “Surely, he can handle himself. For now, we must find– “

          A scream cut through her thought: high and shrill and as irritating as ever.

          Pomegranate Cookie and Poison Mushroom Cookie both turned towards the sound. It was coming from somewhere off in the forest.

          “Hmmm…” With a free hand, Poison Mushroom Cookie thoughtfully rubbed the purple mushroom cap. “Does that sound like… Somecookie we knoooOOOOOOO!”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie was dragged through the shrubbery. With her associate secured in her grip, Pomegranate Cooke returned to her mental incantation.

          For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake. For Master’s sake. 

═══════════

        “Schwarzwälder! This isn’t working!”

          “HUH!?” The werehound smacked another chunk of goo into the distance. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?”

          “I mean, it’s not getting any smaller!”

          When his jagged blade sawed through the blob, just between its mouth and eye-like holes, he knew for sure. He’d swung at that exact height, at that exact spot, at least two times already, maybe even more. For as many pieces of the blob that Schwarzwälder had sent flying, they’d yet to leave any real damage.

          A gooey tentacle burst from the blob’s face. Red Velvet Cookie jumped back, catching the tentacle in his claw and ripping it away.

          “It must be reforming itself somehow!”

          “YOU KIDDING ME!?” Another tentacle tried to grab at Schwarzwälder only to be hammered flat. “HOW!?”

          Red Velvet Cookie found the answer when the blob suddenly lunged forward. He jumped back only to land on a gooey chunk of the blob. This sludge was wetter than the other. When he brushed it away, he picked up the distinct tinge of sea salt.

          “Because it’s faster than us.” He cursed. “The pieces are rushing back faster than we’re breaking them off.”

          “HOW’S THAT–“ Schwarzwälder paused to pound at another pair of tentacles, only for the goo to instantly reform. He ducked behind a tree instead. “POSSIBLE!? I’M SENDING THEM MILES AWAY!”

          Persistence was the word for it. Even if he’d missed the creature’s regenerative speed, Red Velvet Cookie had noticed its attacks growing faster and more aggressive the second that Matcha Cookie had run off. Thank goodness she’d listened to him; this fight couldn’t have handled another target.

          Out of the corner of his cookie eye, Red Velvet Cookie spotted a few small blobs squishing out from the underbrush. Even as the main blob swung its arms at Schwarzwälder, the creature’s back end subtly reached for the returning pieces.

          “That’s enough of that!” Red Velvet Cookie leapt forward and crushed the pieces underfoot. They felt like puddles of worms, wriggling to get even a fraction of themselves free. The main blob hesitated, then threw itself onto Red Velvet Cookie only to be driven back by his blade.

          But those were only two pieces. Now that he knew to sniff for it, he could smell dozens of mixed lumps of mold and sea water inching towards them. Red Velvet Cookie growled: those pieces were weak, but relentless, slow yet steady. At this rate, he and Schwarzwälder be stuck here all night.

          Though come to think of it, there was something else in the air. Something familiar…

          “HEADS UP!”

          Red Velvet Cookie jumped without thinking. This new blob tentacle was twice as heavy as the last one. It would have crushed him if he hadn’t moved, but doing so released the tiny blob pieces back into their original body. Frustrated, he chopped the top off a nearby shrub to reveal a trio of newly returned blob pieces. He prepared to slice through them.

          A high pitch squeak sent him back. Out of bushes popped three of Licorice Cookie’s servants. They pointed their swords straight at Red Velvet Cookie and gave three long, piercing squeals.

          “They’re giving away our location.” Red Velvet Cookie grumbled, then shouted over his shoulder. “Schwarzwälder! We’ve been found out! We need to get out of here!”

          “I’M A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW!” The blob had again latched onto his hammer and tried to rip it from his claws. Red Velvet Cookie hurried to his side and wrapped his claw around the handle, wrenching it from the blob’s grip.

          At the same time, a dozen more servants rushed from the bushes. Their tiny voices chained together until they drew even the blob monster’s attention. Two of its gooey arms began swatting at the servants, bouncing them away like rubber balls. The blows didn’t stop their squealing—nothing did until Licorice Cookie appeared.

          “Stop right there you–AGH!” Licorice Cookie ducked as one of his servants flew over his head. “H-hey! What’s going on!? What is that thing!?”

          Licorice Cookie yelped again as Red Velvet Cookie scooped him up in his claw and pulled him out of the way of the blob’s arms.

          “Whatever it is, it’s after Matcha Cookie and the little cookie.”

          “Wha!? Why!?”

          “I don’t know. I sent them to hide, but this thing keeps repairing itself.”

          “W-well I… hey wait!”

          “What!?”

          “Don’t distract me with this monster! I’m supposed to be mad at you! What were you two thinking!? Running off in the middle of the night!?”

          “THIS AIN’T REALLY THE TIME!” shouted Schwarzwälder. He and Red Velvet Cookie drove back an onslaught of tentacles

          “Oh what!? So the time would have been after you’d run off!? After you got that little brat killed!? At the very least, you could have told me! Do you know how worried I was!?”

          “Licorice Cookie!” Red Velvet Cookie snapped as he tore off a tentacle, only for it to leap right back onto the blob. “Not! Now!”

          As the two cakes continued to attack the blob monster, Licorice Cookie’s eyelids dropped. He stepped forward, shoving both of them aside.

          “HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?”

          “Licorice Cookie! Watch out!”

          At this point, the blob monster was boiling over. Massive bubbles of puss formed and burst in time with its furious flailing limbs. With a watery roar, the blob swelled to twice its size and shot out a dozen squirming tentacles. The gaps that formed its face squelched into an angry snarl as it dedicated every last ounce of itself to crushing its foes.

          Licorice Cookie’s deadpan expression didn’t flinch. He raised his scythe.

          “Licorio Maledictum!”

          The blob screamed as the pulsing purple curse wrapped around its body. Every place the curse touched was instantly poisoned, melting the goo away with vicious purple fizz. The blob flailed backwards. It swayed left and right, searching for new pieces of itself, but all it found were little licorice servants with their blades covered in goop. As the blob melted away, its face gaps sagged all the way across its form before disappearing entirely. With one last mournful gurgle, nothing remained but a bubbling pool of purple poison.

          Red Velvet Cookie and Schwarzwälder stared at Licorice Cookie. Licorice Cookie turned to face them.

          “See? Wouldn’t that have been a whole lot easier if I’d been here from the get-go!?” He huffed. “But noooo! Don’t bother asking for my help! Or for my opinion! You know, just because I don’t want everyone to start beating each other up doesn’t mean I would have told on you! I’m not a snitch! I’m trying to keep things together as much as anyone else! And YOU!”

          Licorice Cookie jabbed a finger at Schwarzwälder.

          “Going on patrol my foot! I’d expect this from him, but YOU!? We’re supposed to tell each other about these kinds of crazy schemes! You’re supposed to listen to me!”

          “HEY! I DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO NOTHING!” Schwarzwälder growled. “AND MAYBE I’M SICK OF YOU BOSSING ME AROUND! HUH!? EVER THOUGHT OF THAT!?”

          Licorice Cookie sputtered and stomped his foot.

          “Well then maybe you shouldn’t give me so many reasons to boss you around! These days the only stuff I know you’re doing is the stuff I tell you to do!”

          “WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK SOMETIME! I GOTTA LIFE YOU KNOW!”

          “What life!? We’re supposed to be getting ready for a war! We don’t have time to goof off!”

          “HEY! YOU GOOF OFF AS MUCH AS I DO!”

          “Training is not goofing off! And you don’t see me running off into woods at four in the morning! Now thanks to you, we’ve got a poison spill to clean up and a prisoner on the loose!”

          Red Velvet Cookie snapped to attention.

          “You let Butter Roll Cookie escape!?”

          “W-well… no…” Licorice Cookie looked away. “The… the door was too heavy to open! And he… sorta rushed out head of me. B-but I’m sure it’s fine! It’s not like he’s been in a hurry to escape-escape. He’s probably just gotten lost somewhere.”

          A scream cut through his words: high and shrill and all too familiar.

          “Matcha Cookie!” Red Velvet Cookie was long gone before the words had even left his mouth.

          Left alone in the clearing, Schwarzwälder and Licorice Cookie looked at one another.

          They gave each other a quick nod, then hurried towards the screaming.

═══════════

About three months after she was baked, Matcha Cookie cast her first spell.

          At that time, the base was crowded for a very different reason. Only three cookies lived there, but Dark Enchantress Cookie had worked relentlessly to create her dessert army. Cakes were far easier to create than cookies, and as a result, the base was constantly noisy and smelled like wet animals. That was bad enough. Worse was when Red Velvet Cookie was tasked with their training—a task that immediately went to his head.

          Suddenly, a cookie child half her height was ordering Matcha Cookie to come train with him, to come eat with him, to take a bath, to speak up, to stop mumbling. When Matcha Cookie finally reached her limit, she sent her first volley of magic matcha seeds straight into his face.

          And it was a good thing! When their master had arrived to break up the fight, she had complimented Matcha Cookie. She’d said Matcha Cookie’s magic was impressive. Best of all, she’d scolded Red Velvet Cookie, saying that he should keep to training cakes and leave Matcha Cookie to her.

          Even when things changed—when all those other annoying desserts came and Master left more often—the understanding that Matcha Cookie was their master’s creation stayed the same. Matcha Cookie was free to throw seeds at whoever she wished, to hide saplings in places that inconvenienced everyone, to cast jinxes and sneak poisons without repercussion. She might get scolded. She might get locked away for a while. She might even get bopped around in the rare case she got carried away, but it was never serious. She certainly couldn’t be hurt. Because even when their master wasn’t there, Matcha Cookie always had their master’s protection. Everyone knew that.

          That knowledge went flying back into Matcha Cookie’s face with the first swing of Butter Roll Cookie’s whisk. Her legs woke up. She jumped out of the way, and the metal wires sliced straight through an unlucky tree. She watched the plant shatter into a flurry of silver chips and burnt leaves that fell in the very spot she’d been standing.

          And before she’d even processed that, he was ready another blow.

          At first, she yelped—“Stop! Stop!”—every time she evaded one of his swings, but quickly realized she couldn’t waste her breath. Butter Roll Cookie’s attacks were slow and heavy, but they were calculated. By the time she’d scrambled away from a downward slam, she’d be running right into a backhanded swing. She’d fling herself backwards, the sharp wires brushing inches from her face, only for him to spin his whisk, ruin her balance, and leave her summersaulting away from the blades. His brutal yet systematic blows kept her on the ropes, and it was only her quick reactions that kept her in one piece.

           Finally, Matcha Cookie managed to steady herself. She dashed across the clearing and raised her staff. Her pounding heart threatened to climb into her throat, but she gulped it down and threw out a volley of matcha seeds.

          With a single one-handed swipe, he burned through half of them.

          “Eeep!”

          She stumbled away from another strike and formed a new cloud of seeds. This time she kept them in the air as she ran, making them hover on the far side of the clearing while she circled Butter Roll Cookie. When he prepared to strike down, she pulled her staff and her seeds towards them.

          Butter Roll Cookie grunted as the seeds pelted into his back with a series of green explosions. His teeth gritted; his stance faltered; Matcha Cookie tried to follow up with another seed swarm, but he blindly swung his whisk backwards. The seeds burned on impact.

          Still, it was just enough distraction for Matcha Cookie to get out of range. She raced back across the clearing to the fallen silver tree. If she got to MyCookie, she could run. She could get back to the path. She could find the others. She could figure the rest out from there.

          She skidded to a stop by the open end. The back of her neck prickled with heat before she even had a chance to look inside. Butter Roll Cookie was already behind her with a two-hand swing.

          Unprepared, she whirled around and threw up a short wall of weak matcha saplings. The whisk didn’t just cut through the plants. In a rookie move, she’d held her staff far too close when casting.

          CRACK!

          The top half of her staff snapped and flew off into the trees. Matcha Cookie dove for it without a second thought.

          She didn’t even see the blow that got her. All she felt was the raging burn that enveloped her shoulder as she fell flat on the ground.

          Mud flooded into her eyes and mouth. Normally she’d have found the earthy taste comforting. Instead she spat it out and blinked her eyes open, pushing herself up with her left hand. She could see the top half of her staff. The bioluminescent plants made the gem glow in the dark shadowy underbrush. She could cast a spell with only the gem. She just needed that piece. She pushed herself further up with her left arm and with her right, reached for the broken piece.

          She reached for the broken piece.

          She… reached for the broken… piece?

          Something was wrong. She kept reaching for her staff, but her right arm wasn’t moving. That didn’t make sense. Her shoulder was burned, even now she was biting her lip against the pain, but she didn’t feel anything in her arm.

          She didn’t feel…

          Anything…

          Matcha Cookie looked to see why her arm wasn’t responding. She saw her right shoulder. The burn had painted it a brutal black, the same shade as the bottom of the sewers. The burn was also round: a big black circle that went all the way around her shoulder and singed the edges of her robe. It didn’t look right. But why?

          Oh.

          Because her right arm wasn’t there. It was just a shoulder. That’s why it looked so funny.

          …

          …

          …

          Matcha Cookie couldn’t breathe. The screams poured out of her lungs, even when there wasn’t air to scream with. Her entire body trembled with terror as her brain desperately tried to understand what had happened. She felt like her arm was there. It had to be, right!? Why would it not be!? But as she turned herself over and grabbed at the flakey black shoulder, the reality brought by her hand made her stomach churn. Her arm wasn’t there. Her arm was gone. And still, she wouldn’t believe. She looked around wildly for anything to prove that her arm wasn’t gone. That she was tired or confused or cursed or–

          A short distance from her lay her arm, stained by mud, jam pooling from its open end, her torn sleeve hanging off it like lump of pond scum.

          It still looked fake. It still could have been an illusion.

          Then Butter Roll Cookie picked it up.

          He held it by the thickest end and removed her sleeve. He ripped her sleeve in half and tied it tightly around the opening. Jam stopped dripping from the open end, instead staining the fabric from green to red.

          And then, he tucked her arm into his lab coat, for safe keeping.

          Matcha Cookie’s mouth wrinkled with suppressed nausea. She dragged her eyes upward.

          His only remaining eye was locked on her: starless, empty, dead, and completely unphased.

          Terror shot through every nerve in Matcha Cookie’s dough. With a frantic whimper, she tried getting to her feet only to forget she was still an arm short. When she pushed herself up, she instead fell onto her side. From this angel, she saw the dark opening of the silver tree trunk and remembered what hid inside.

          MyCookie was still here. MyCookie was in danger.

          She frantically tried to push herself up again, this time putting all her weight onto her left arm.

          Then she screamed again as Butter Roll Cookie’s boot crushed her hand. Her mind went wild. She tried to push him away but had no other hands to push with. So, she pulled. She pulled and flailed and screamed like a wild animal, never looking up as Butter Roll Cookie looked down. He held his black-flamed whisk in one hand. He raised it over her head. He prepared to bring it down.

          He felt something latch onto his back.

          Matcha Cookie pulled free as Butter Roll Cookie was lifted into the air and thrown across the clearing. Three trees shattered as he crashed through them and landed in a heap.

          “Matcha Cookie!”

          Red Velvet Cookie burst into the clearing and beelined for Matcha Cookie, who was gulping for air and clenching her hand against her chest. Her threw his arms around her without a second thought, soaking up as much of her fear as he could.

          “Thank Master you’re all right.”

          Licorice Cookie and Schwarzwälder arrived next.

          “WHAT HAPPENED HERE!?” The werehound looked back and forth across the decimated clearing. Licorice Cookie, on the other hand, stormed right up to Butter Roll Cookie.

          “You are in big trouble! Huge trouble! You hear me!? Gigantic trouble!”

          Butter Roll Cookie didn’t respond.

          “Uh… you awake over there?” Licorice Cookie stepped for a closer look.

          Butter Roll Cookie remained unresponsive, but he took big, deep breaths and tested the sections of his body, tightening and releasing each set of muscles in turn.

          “Hey! Answer me, would you!?” Licorice Cookie huffed. “I know you’re not crumbled!”

          “He will be.”

          Licorice Cookie spun around. Red Velvet Cookie approached them slowly.

          “H-hey! Wait!” Licorice Cookie threw his arms out with a determined frown. “Slow down! What did I say about… a-about… wh-what the…”

          His eyes had finally reached Matcha Cookie, still trembling as Schwarzwälder helped her stand. Her torn robe fluttered with the early morning breeze. Licorice Cookie stared at it, his mouth hanging open.

          “Licorice Cookie.” Red Velvet Cookie spoke coldly. His glare was far sharper than the sword in his hand. “Move out of my way.”

          With only a second of hesitation, Licorice Cookie stepped aside.

          “Stop! Stop right where you are!”

          From another side of the clearing, Pomegranate Cookie and Poison Mushroom Cookie burst through the bushes. Pomegranate Cookie was panting. Poison Mushroom Cookie was not.

          “Red Velvet Cookie! Stop whatever you are doing this instant!”

          Pomegranate Cookie ran to take Licorice Cookie’s place, standing between Red Velvet Cookie and Butter Roll Cookie.

           “Whatever has happened here, you must control yourself. You must–Ack! ACK!”

          Red Velvet Cookie held Pomegranate Cookie in his claw, clenching her throat between his thickest fingers.

          “Are. You. Blind!?”

          Pomegranate Cookie raised her mirror, only for Red Velvet Cookie to squeeze tighter. Her breaths became scratchy and dry.

          “Ahhh! Nooooo!” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s little arms wrapped around his torso. “Noooo! Doooon’t! Nooo!”

          “Hey! Hold on!” Licorice Cookie grabbed his shoulder. “Don’t take it out on her! She didn’t do that!”

          Red Velvet Cookie’s grip slowly tightened. He didn’t so much as blink as Pomegranate Cookie dough went pale.

          “Dark Enchantress Cookie has a grand vision.”

          Pomegranate Cookie let her mirror fall to the ground so she could try and fail to pry his claw from her throat.

          “A world where all creatures can live in peace, free from fear.”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie pulled at his leg. Licorice Cookie tightened his grip on his scythe, unsure of how best to use it.

          “That world has no place for cookies like him. Or cookies like you.”

          “Gone…”

          Matcha Cookie’s whimper put a stop to everything. Her hand frantically padded around the opening of the fallen silver tree. Schwarzwälder snapped the tree in two and shook both halves. Only a few rotting leaves fell out

          “YOU SURE THIS IS WHERE YOU PUT THE LITTLE GUY!?”

          Matcha Cookie nodded, nearly choking on her panic.

          “Gone… Cookie… Gone….Gone away… Where gone!?”

═══════════

          Affogato Cookie leaned against a nearby tree and groaned. His hair had melted into a loose tangle of colored strands, each one frizzy from the humidity. His hanbok was dotted by the tiny corpses of spores and mosquitoes. His brow was soaking with sweat. His sandals were full of gravel. The only saving grace was that he’d neglected to put on make-up. If he had, it’d surely have been running like a faucet.

          “Not once… in all my years of travel… did I think I’d find a climate… that would make me miss that frozen tundra…”

          He looked at the pitiful purple mushroom in his hand. Instead of waiting a moment for Affogato Cookie to catch his breath, he’d been left with this wretched thing that was intended to “help him feel better.”

          “A map… would have been… preferable…” He wiped his face on his hands, then his hands on his clothes. “At least… then I… could turn back… alone!”

          With one last breathe, Affogato Cookie took up his pewter staff and prepared to keep walking. Whatever trail he was supposed to be following had already disappeared, so the best he could do was to keep moving forward in hopes of reaching the beach. Surely someone would find him there.

          “I’m sure they’re all having a lovely time without me…” He sighed with every step. “Yes, when I suggested we wait for tomorrow to have a rational discussion, this was exactly what I meant. An irrational romp through a deadly woodland in the wee hours of the morning. Ulgh, I swear every cookie here is a completely insane.”

          Before he could complain any further, he noticed what he had wandered onto: a wide, clear dirt pathway. He crouched for a closer look. This path had been built—the lack of weeds and mushrooms along with the slight elevation of its edges proved as much—and there was a faint shimmer to the dirt. He rubbed some of it against his fingers.

          “Silver?” He raised his eyebrow. “So that would mean…”

          He looked down the pathway. As far as he could tell, the only thing ahead of him was more forest.

          “Well, wherever this path leads, it will surely be better than rampaging through the bushes.” With a shrug, he started walking. “Besides, if they don’t care to hear my advice, they’re better off resolving their little disputes themselves. I’m sure such sane cookies are handling things just fine.”

          It was the commotion that kept MyCookie from passing out. Head still spinning, body still numb, and yet, it was impossible to sleep with how loud everything was. Even more so when the shouting started.

          “Buhwol… Cook?” The little cookie tried to stand up, but such shaky legs only managed to crawl. Everything was dark and blurry. Light appeared in colorful blobs with the shadows shifting between them.

          “In… tubble… buhwol… in tubble...” Murmuring faintly, MyCookie crawled out from the log and towards the noise. “Mmmm comin… mmm gonna hewp… mmm comin…”

          But MyCookie’s head refused to stop spinning, and the fluids inside those little eardrums kept mixing up the sounds. One minute, the noises were coming from behind. The next, the noises were coming from in front, and then from the side. Pretty soon, MyCookie couldn’t even tell what the noises were.

          “Buhwol? Buh-OW!” MyCookie crashed into a bush. The sudden slap of a silver branch drove the sleepiness back.

          “Butter Roll? Butter Roll!” Little hands rubbed at little eyes. When the fogginess cleared, MyCookie looked up at the biggest tree that had ever been seen. It was also the first tree the little cookie had ever seen, though not for long. After all, there were trees everywhere in this unfamiliar place.

          “M-matcha?” The little cookie looked around, panic creeping into the little voice. The noises from before were gone and in their place were unfamiliar gurgles and growls. “Matcha? Where… where’d you go?”

          MyCookie was wide awake now—too wide. The little cookie could see the giant spores glowing behind the bushes, the sharp-nosed tanghulu-goras peeking up from their burrows, the eyeberries peering from their perches: they were all strange, frighting creatures, and every single one of was locked onto the stranger in their woods.

          Schwarzwälder was right. You had to be very big to survive outside the base, and right now, MyCookie felt very, very small.

           “M-matcha! Matcha, where are you!” The little cookie took off through the underbrush. The huge leaves and flowers thrashed at fearful eyes, and from the corner of those eyes, the little cookie could see hungry tongue and drooling mouths all around.

          “Matcha! Matcha Cookie! AGH!” MyCookie fell backwards, narrowly avoiding the petal jaws of a cookienivorous plant. The little cookie ran another way, yelling over and over again. “Matcha Cookie! Matcha! Matcha!”

          Just as the other creatures seemed ready to make their move, MyCookie heard voices up ahead.

          “…gotten into them!?”

          “We need… cast a new…quickly.”

          “Where…”

          “…scouts should… just…”

          MyCookie put on a burst of speed, threw the bushes aside, and crashed into a onto a soft bed of moss. The voices, utterly unfamiliar, rose with sharp surprise. MyCookie looked back, but the monsters hadn’t followed.

          “Phew…” The little cookie sighed, gulping for breath. “H-help! There’s monsters! And I can’t find–“

          MyCookie’s jam froze.

          There were dozens of cookies here, strange cookies with dust-colored dough and dressed in shining metal. Many of them hovered with radiant wings. Others were on the ground, stationed by a large mossy space that was fenced in with gigantic spoons and forks. Each one of them held a silver weapon—glaive, spear, sword—and each one of those weapons were sharped to perfection, ready to skewer unsuspecting little cookies.

          Fairies.

          MyCookie yelped and tried to stumble back towards the bushes. However, in less than a blink, five fairies had the little cookie insnared in a circle of pointed blades.

          “Stand down.” Ordered one of them. He was the scariest fairy with pepper-streaked hair and cold black eyes. “Explain who you are.”

          “M-m-m-m…” The name wouldn’t come. The little teeth were shattering too hard, and the scary fairy’s glaive was too close to MyCookie’s neck.

          “Speak.” The scary fairy pushed the blade closer, drawing a tear from the little cookie’s eye. “Unless you don’t value your life.”

          “Mercurial Knight Cookie!”

          More fairies fluttered down from sky—these ones dressed in silky white with smoother wings—and all the guards raised their heads. All the guards except for the scariest one, whose stare remained on the little cookie even as he spoke.

          “Silverbell Cookie. Did you find the creature?”

          “No… It must have run pretty far.” A gentle fairy fluttered over to the scary one. “But Cockleshell Cookie thinks it absorbed some of the silver in the fence when it broke free. If we use the Spell of Finding, we might… Is that a cookie!?”

          “It ran here from the forest.” Mercurial Knight Cookie spoke coldly, his glaive frozen in place. “It refuses to tell me anything.”

          Silverbell Cookie looked at little cookie’s weepy face.

          “That… might be because you’ve terrified them.”

          “Not enough to make it answer.”

          “Well, maybe you could try pulling back a bit? This is only a little cookie, after all, and might even be a friend.” Silverbell Cookie fluttered into the circle of blades and kneeled beside MyCookie. “Hey! It’s ok. We’re not going to hurt you.”

          He gave Mercurial Knight Cookie a pleading glance. Silently, the knight and his comrades lowered their weapons.

          “See? You’re safe!” Silverbell Cookie beamed. “Now, tell us, are you a friend of White Lily Cookie?”

          MyCookie’s head shook.

          “Then it’s a servant of darkness.” Once more, Mercurial Knight Cookie raised his glaive. Silverbell Cookie frantically pushed it back.

          “Wait! We don’t know that!”

          “The only cookies foolish enough to draw near these woods are those with guardian’s protection and the servants of darkness she warned us of. If this cookie doesn’t know the guardian, it must be an enemy.”

          “Maybe… but still…”

          “The timing matches as well. The dough monsters have been docile for ages, then suddenly turn hostile when a strange cookie appears. It must be the one responsible.”

          “But… look!” Silverbell Cookie threw his arms out at the little cookie, who was still trying to rub away the tears. “This is a child! A child couldn’t do all this! How would a child even affect a dough monster!? It’s… a child!”

          “Darkness is ageless, deceptive, and corrupt. It would take any form to destroy the kingdom and break the seal.”

          “I suppose that is true…” Silverbell Cookie scratched his head. “I’m just not sure–“

          A loud watery roar broke through the peaceful clearing. Then another. And another.

          “Sir! The Spell of Soothing isn’t working! They’re too aggressive!”

          Mercurial Knight Cookie finally turned away from the little cookie.

          “Switch to the Spell of Slumber.

          “We did sir! The creatures won’t fall asleep!”

          “Tch.” Mercurial Knight Cookie swooped over to the fence, leaving the little cookie in Silverbell Cookie’s comforting hands.

          “Sorry about the rude welcome. I’m sure there’s a good reason for you to be here, right?”

          MyCookie didn’t answer. The fairy’s touch may have tried to be gentle, but it was just as suspicious as the scary fairy’s blade. Instead, MyCookie looked straight past Silverbell Cookie.

          A dozen creatures were locked behind the fence of silverware, huge gooey things whose bodies flowed like rotten waterfalls. As the fairies raised their blades and cast their spells, the doughs moaned and pushed at the gaps. Magic filled the spaces, burning their dough with each attempt, and yet, the doughs kept struggling. Their empty hole faces wrinkled with mournful cries.

          Then, as MyCookie watched them, one of the dough creatures raised its face. MyCookie could see straight into the dark holes.

          The dark holes looked back.

          “RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAGGGGH!”

          The dough monster boiled into a rage. It threw its entire body against the magic fence with all its strength. Fairies hurried to cast a new spell, but the other dough creatures had also started looking. Each one looked at MyCookie, and each one fell into a frenzy.

          “Looking…” MyCookie quivered. “Th-there all looking…”

          Three dough monsters swung their tentacles in unison. A giant fork snapped in two, and the entire fence went crashing down.

          The field was in chaos. Half the fairies rushed to put the fence back up while the others tried to force the dough monsters back. Neither group had a chance as a dozen giant dough beasts began slapping the fairies like insects. Mercurial Knight Cookie flew at top speed, defending his troops as he barked orders. The scout fairies raised their bows, all except Silverbell Cookie who had his hands full. He fluttered behind a tree for safety and held the little cookie a bit tighter than intended. It was enough of a squeeze to set MyCookie struggling.

          “Let me go! Let me go!”

          MyCookie’s arms and legs kicked free, only for Silverbell Cookie to hurriedly pin them down.

          “Calm down! We need to take you back to–“

          “Let! Me! Go!”

          “Stop it! I’ll have to use a spell if you don’t!”

          “Let me go! Let me go! Right now!” MyCookie kicked him in the chest

          “Ow! All right! Sorry about this!” Silverbell Cookie cleared his throat and began to sing. “Quenya fúmë olor lórë–ACK!“

          His song was cut short as a dark shadow leapt from the bushes and slipped into his open mouth. Silverbell Cookie fell to his knees, dropping MyCookie as he clawed frantically at his throat.

          “I shall never understand the appeal of such decorative enchantments. They are far too much effort for far too little result.”

          “Affogato!” The little cookie threw himself into the shaman’s legs. “You found me!”

          Affogato Cookie patted MyCookie’s head.

          “Well, this should make up for my past childrearing blunders.” He chuckled. “Once I show you to the others, that is. They must still be wandering around...”

          “Dark… Magic…” Silverbell Cookie croaked, but it was hard to hear him over the pandemonium with the dough monsters.

          “Yes yes, dark magic. I am truly a cursed and wicked creature.” Affogato Cookie waved his hand. “Let’s be off while this fairy tries calling for–“

          An arrow clipped a few strands of Affogato Cookie’s loose hair.

          Silverbell Cookie was on his feet, shaky but still standing, with his bow drawn. Dark magic seeped from his mouth as a pulsing black drool, but it didn’t shake his resolve an inch.

          “Oh curse it all!” Affogato Cookie scooped up the little cookie in an awkward bundle and raced back down the silver path he’d come from. MyCookie clung to his robes, reveling in the familiar scents of cotton and coffee.

           Even as they ran further and further away, however, MyCookie still felt them.

          The dough monsters were still looking.

═══════════

          “What do you mean gone!?” shouted Licorice Cookie.

          “SHE MEANS THE KID AIN’T WHERE SHE PUT ‘EM!”

          “Are you certain!?” Red Velvet Cookie’s tone softened, as did his grip on Pomegranate Cookie.

           Matcha Cookie nodded so hard it could have thrown her head off. She tried to stand but toppled right over into Schwarzwälder’s paws.

          “HEY! HEY! EASY THERE!” He cleared his throat. “That kid’s tough! I’m sure whatever happens, there ain’t nothing to worry about!”

          “I’d say there’s a lot to worry about!” Said Licorice Cookie. “This is the deadliest content known to cookies, and this forest alone goes on for miles! Who knows where that brat’s gone!?”

          And then, into the clearing burst Affogato Cookie, dripping with sweat, carrying the very cookie they’d been looking for. He tried to say something clever, but he was too exhausted and MyCookie too thrilled.

          “Matcha!” The little cookie jumped from Affogato’s arms, Matcha Cookie sprinted twice as fast, and the two clicked together in the middle of the clearing. MyCookie squeezed tight. Matcha Cookie squeezed tighter, making up for the part of her hug that was missing.

          “I missed you, Matcha! Where’d you go!? You said…” MyCookie whimpered. “Oh… it was my fault, wasn’t it? I was the one who left. I’m sorry.”

          “Shut up!” gulped Matcha Cookie. “Sh-shut up! Shhhh!”

          “I hate to interrupt the reunion, but we have a bit of an issue. You see, we’re currently being pursued.”

          “BY WHO!?” Schwarzwälder barked.

          A silver arrow cut through the air and dug into a tree. Affogato Cookie barely managed a sigh before the Silverbell Cookie zipped into the clearing.

          “Enough… running… you…” The sore-throated fairy stopped short. His aim wavered as he took in the crowd, trying to figure out where to point his next arrow. “Uh… wha…”

          While the fairy had everyone’s attention, Pomegranate Cookie slipped through Red Velvet Cookie’s claws and scooped up her mirror. He turned to stop her, but she had already reached the fairy with a spell on her lips and black magic on her mirror.

          “Stand down!”

          Silverbell Cookie jolted as if he’d been shot. He dropped to one knee before the mirror. The last of Affogato Cookie’s magic dripped from his mouth.

          “E-elder Fairy Cookie!?” The fairy stammered. “But you’re… you’re…”

          “There is no time.” The black magic around her mirror doubled in size. “Explain what goes on in these woods. Quickly.”

          Silverbell Cookie’s face went blank.

          “We’ve been watching over a group of dough monsters that appeared in the woods a few months ago. One of them suddenly broke free and ran off into the woods. attacking everything in sight. They’ve been peaceful so far, but something changed tonight. “

          “SEE!? I TOLD YA!”

          Licorice Cookie shushed Schwarzwälder as the fairy continued.

          “Now the rest of the dough monsters are attacking us as well.

          “And why is that?”

          “Because of the small cookie. It belongs to the servants of darkness.”

          “…how many fairies are in the woods tonight.”

          “Around thirty. Two squads and two scouting parties.”

          “And you are all tasked with handling these dough monsters?”

          “Yes. The guardian ordered us to keep them away from the kingdom and avoid crumbling them unless absolutely necessary...” Silverbell Cookie’s forehead wrinkled. “Wait… the guardian is… “

          Pomegranate Cookie’s mirror darkened, making Silverbell Cookie’s expression blank once again.

          “You have done well.” Pomegranate Cookie cleared her throat, rubbed it once, and turned to the cakes. “I assume, or rather, I hope, that you did not instigate this?”

          “OF COURSE NOT! WE WERE GETTING ATTACKED TOO!”

          Red Velvet Cookie didn’t answer. He didn’t look at Pomegranate Cookie at all.

          “Then there must be some other reason these monsters have become hostile.” Pomegranate Cookie continued rubbing her throat. “But it matters little. Without question, we shall all have to retreat.”

          Maybe they just… need some shrooooomies!” Poison Mushroom Cookie waved a mushroom in the air. Pomegranate Cookie pushed the mushroom back down.

          “Revealing our presence here is out of the question. We shall let the dough monsters distract them while we return to our base.”

          “Not if the doughs are chasing us." Red Velvet Cookie finally looked Pomegranate Cookie in the eye. “The dough we fought was trying to follow the young cookie. These other doughs appear to be doing the same. If we run, the dough monsters would follow.”

          “And the fairies would follow them!” Licorice Cookie squawked. “Unless we wanna start a parade, we gotta figure out why they locked in on this twerp!”

          “That would be the life powder!” said Butter Roll Cookie.

          He stood a short distance behind the group, busily tying a torn scrap from his apron across his face. His smile was bright. His curls were bouncy. His remaining eye was as bright and starry as ever.

          Only one dessert looked happy to see him.

          “Butter Roll! You’re ok!” MyCookie tried running to him but was stuck in Matcha Cookie’s hug. She was shaking from head to toe, her face buried in the little cookie’s back, her arm refusing to let go.

          “Matcha? What’s wrong?”

          She didn’t answer, only held the little cookie tighter.

           “Hey! Glad to see my cookie’s still in one piece!” said Butter Roll Cookie with a cheerful wave. “And I suppose since we’re all here, it’d be a good time to explain what I discovered earlier.”

          “AND WHAT’S THAT!?” snarled Schwarzwälder.

          “That my cookie contains a mutated, highly concentrated life powder. The sort of thing that’d be irresistible to creatures that feed off life energy, which happen to be most of the creatures in Beast-Yeast.”

          “So what does that mean, precisely?” Even Pomegranate Cookie addressed him coldly.”

          “It means that if you wanted to keep my cookie from being a flashing all-you-can-eat sign for the entire ecosystem, you really should have made a plan before coming out here!” He laughed. “As it is, anywhere my cookie goes, monsters are going to follow. And if those dough monsters are what I think they are, then they’re definitely not going to give up the chase now. Raw doughs cling to life more than anything else in Earthbread, and my cookie’s nothing but life!”

          “Which means even if we do get to safety without being caught, we still would be leading the monsters and, by extension, the fairies straight to our front door.” Affogato Cookie rubbed his forehead. “Will tonight’s miseries never cease?”

          “The most logical course of action is to deal with the dough monsters before they get to my cookie. Better still if I could take my cookie back to base for safe keeping while you all handle–“

          “No.” Red Velvet Cookie stepped next to Matcha Cookie and put his hand on her burnt, shivering shoulder. His sharpened claws were extended. Butter Roll Cookie took a deliberate step back from them.

          “I didn’t think so.” he assured. “Considering the mood, I can’t imagine anyone sending anyone else back either. So, our best bet is to bunker down and handle the issue together.”

          “If that’s even possible!” Licorice Cookie shouted. “We’re talking about fighting fairies and monsters at the same time! How are we supposed to pull that off!?”

          “We’re all more capable from what I’ve seen! The real question is whether we’re going to or not.” Butter Roll Cookie beamed. “Personally, I’m not planning to let all my hard work go to waste! How about everyone else?”

          A long moment passed. Licorice Cookie glanced at Schwarzwälder, who glanced back. Then both of them glanced at Pomegranate Cookie, who tried to look like she hadn’t been glancing at either of them.

          “Well, I for one don’t care to be crumbled by monsters or fairies!” said the exasperated Affogato Cookie. “And frankly, we don’t have the time to be dawdling over… whatever conflict this is. We’d be better off using these precious moments preparing an ambush before they catchup to us.”

          “Yeah! Yeaaaaah! A shroooooomie ambush!”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie bounced through the clearing, arms waving. With every shake, a dozen tiny shroomies fell to the ground. Licorice Cookie snorted and kicked one away.

          “It’s not like we have any other options anyway!”

          “OR LIKE IT’LL BE THAT HARD! I’LL SHOW EM WHAT’S WHAT!”

          “Then that nearly settles it.” Pomegranate Cookie raised her eyebrow. “What say you, Red Velvet Cookie? Care to help?”

          Red Velvet Cookie hadn’t stopped glaring daggers at Butter Roll Cookie. His claws twitched, aching to strike.

          “Mmmm… save… cookie…”

          He glanced back at the muttering Matcha Cookie.

          “Must… heh heh… must save… cookie…”

          Red Velvet Cookie’s face softened. Then he turned back with a snarl.

          “Give me any reason.” He spat. “Step out of line for one second, and you will not be returning to base.”

          “Excellent!” Butter Roll Cookie cheerfully stepped around him. “Now, if I heard that comment right, the Choco Werehound Brute has already faced one of these doughs? We’ll need all the details if we’re going to come up with a plan!”

          As he walked past, MyCookie tried to pull away from Matcha Cookie again. She held fast.

          “Matcha, let go! I wanna go see Butter Roll–“ The little cookie finally noticed. “Matcha! Where’d your arm go!?”

          Butter Roll Cookie loudly cleared his throat. MyCookie looked back at him.

          “Considering the current state of things, my cookie needs to stay out of the crossfire.” He said, a cheeky hand on his hip. “Mind keeping an eye on it, Matcha Cookie? At least until we’re all finished?”

          Matcha Cookie stopped shaking and raised her head, just long enough to give him a murderous glare.

          “I’ll take that as a yes!”

═══════════

          The dough monsters reached the clearing, leaving a trail of slimy trees, squished mushrooms, and weary soldiers in their wake,

          “Watch yourself in the air! Those tentacles have a longer range than they appear to!” shouted Mercurial Knight Cookie as he swooped beneath two of them. The tentacles crashed into one another and merged into an even thicker tentacle that left a crater in the moss.

          Mercurial Knight Cookie’s frown grew deeper as he saw the rest of his troops, each one struggling to keep up with the other monsters. These doughs had seemingly endless stamina; fancy maneuvers and complex tactics had done nothing but exhaust his own troops.

          A huge wad of dough came flying at him. In one swift motion, his glaive sliced the piece into two. Then those pieces landed, jiggled, and zoomed right back into the body of their host. He exhaled, slightly irritated, and swooped to side for another strike.

          “Mercurial Knight Cookie!”

          Silverbell Cookie called for his attention. He found the scout on the ground with a bag slung over his shoulder.

          “The cookie.” said Mercurial Knight Cookie “Where is it?”

          “I… lost it in the woods.” Silverbell Cookie hung his head. “You were right. It was a cookie of darkness. And I fell for its tricks like fool.”

          Mercurial Knight Cookie gave a curt nod.

          “Gather the scouts and fan out. We need to recover it in order to stop these creatures.”

          “Yes sir!” Silverbell Cookie nodded. “I think I might have a lead! I found these when I was chasing after it…”

          Silverbell Cookie took the fluffy blanket bag and began to untie it. Mercurial Knight Cookie watched, his brow furrowing.

          “Where did you get this bag from? You didn’t have a bag before.”

          “I found it with these…”

          Inside the bag was a mound of bright purple mushrooms; however, Mercurial Knight Cookie wasn’t looking at the mushrooms. He was looking at Silverbell Cookie’s eyes and the faint black glow within their pupils.

          Mercurial Knight Cookie whirled his glaive towards Silverbell Cookie.

          “Stand back! You’ve been–“

          Silverbell Cookie slammed his fists down on the purple mushroom pile. A cloud of poisonous spores burst into the air, flying into Mercurial Knight Cookie’s eyes and mouth. The knight’s head began to spin as he coughed and blinked. His vision blurred. He could barely make out the white shapes of Silverbell Cookie, now coughing and wheezing as well.

          “Yaaaaaaay! Shrooooomie ambush! Shroooooomie ambush!”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie jumped out from behind a tangulu bush and gave Silverbell Cookie a hug.

          “Thaaaaank you for… sharing my shroooomies!” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s cheek rubbed against the fairy’s. “And… thank yoooou Pomegranate Cookie! You’re sooo cool.”

          Pomegranate Cookie stepped out from behind an oversized rafflesia.

          “You… will not…” Mercurial Knight Cookie swung his glaive straight into the rafflesia. Then into a tree, the blade digging deep as he stumbled forward. No amount of blinking cleared the purple spores from his eyes.

          “It appears their vision is successfully obscured. Now move along, Poison Mushroom Cookie. There are more fairies to deal with.”

          “Yaaaaay! More shroomies! More shrooomies! More shroooo-WHOA!”

          Pomegranate Cookie yanked him out of the way of a dough tentacle.

          “I GOT IT!”

          Schwarzwälder slammed his hammer down on the tentacle, bursting it with a spray of putrid green. He whirled his hammer backwards, knocking the creature’s face into the ground, then spun forwards, knocking its torso into the air. The broken pieces wriggled as they fell.

          “Licorio Maledictum!”

          The curse slithered through the pieces as if it were stringing a necklace. Once each one was poisoned purple, they splattered lifelessly onto the ground.

          “HERE’S THE LAST CHUNK! HEADS UP”

          “Slow down!” Licorice Cookie swirled around, knocking his hood into his eyes, and cast his curse again. “I’m trying to keep up!”

          “HA! DON’T TELL THAT TRAINING WAS FOR NOTHING!?”

          “Oh, you just watch me!”

          “I AM WATCHING! AND I AIN’T SEEING–“

          His voice cut short as the remaining dough threw itself through the air, straight for the werehound’s head. Licorice Cookie dashed forward and swung his scythe through the oncoming chunk. Schwarzwälder followed up with a downward slam, landing the dough pieces into the poison puddles.

          “Ha? What’d I tell you!?”

          “Ah… I GOT HALF OF IT!”

          “Only because I got it first!”

          Despite their bickering, there were grins on the faces of Licorice Cookie and Schwarzwälder as they took down one dough after another

          In contrast, Red Velvet Cookie attacks were silent, grim, and brutal. He tore one to ribbons with his serrated blade, then used his claw to separate the pieces from one another long enough for Affogato Cookie to disarm them. His own dark tipped curses were far weaker, but his casting speed and accuracy more than made up for it.

          “Stop! Those doughs are protected by the guardian!”

          Affogato Cookie flinched when a fairy swooped down, sword raised high. The blade was met by Red Velvet Cookie’s. One pressed up, the other pressed down in a vicious tug of war until, with a might shove of his claw, the fairy was thrown back

          “Allow me!”

          The fairy landed between the blades of Butter Roll Cookie’s whisk, leaving tears in her delicate wings before she was slammed into the ground.

          “Shrooomie shrooomie shroooomie!” Poison Mushroom Cookie scurried up to scatter a fresh batch of shroomies on the unconscious fairy.

          “You know, I really underestimated how potent those mushrooms are! Someone remind me to run some more tests with those when I get back!”

          “Yaaaay! Shrooooomie test!”

          It was a slow and steady battle. The fairies fell one by one, either losing themselves to shroomie delusions or rushing off to find a way to clean their eyes. The dough monsters lasted longer, but soon enough the ravished forest became filled with more poison puddles than living doughs.

          And through it all, Matcha Cookie watched from afar.

          “Mmmmm… tch! Grrr… gah! Bleh!”

          She sputtered under her breath behind the safety of a magic barrier, which itself was concealed by a bed of butterfly bushes. On her lap sat MyCookie, firmly held in place by her unflinching arm.

          “Meh heh… hmmmm… gah! Grrr grrr…tch!” Her mouth moved nonstop, but nothing sensible came out. She cackled and muttered and chuckled and hissed, all in the way she usually did, yet it didn’t matter. None of it calmed her nerves. None of it put her back in her pipe. None of it made the monsters go away.

           Certainly none of it put her arm back.

          Every time she dwelt on her empty shoulder, her stomach felt queasy. In contrast, if she ignored it hard enough, she could almost imagine it was still there.

          At least she had one hand, one hand that she squeezed the little cookie’s hand with and that the little cookie’s hand squeezed back.

          She watched with dead eyes as the battle raged on. One dough monster fell. Another one followed. Surely, they’d all be mush soon and…

          And then what?

          “Matcha?”

          Matcha Cookie looked down at the little cookie.

          “Did… did the dough monsters do it?”

          Matcha Cookie shook her head before it could start spinning again.

          “Okay…” Said MyCookie. “Um… oh! Matcha, are we gonna go home once all the monsters are gone?”

          Matcha Cookie’s mouth puckered. She hummed like an old refrigerator.

          “Don’t… don’t know…”

          “You don’t?” MyCookie frowned. “Why not?”

          She hummed even louder and decided to stare at the battle very, very hard. That scary fairy with the black and white hair was up again. He’d just swiped his glaive across Licorice Cookie’s neck, not even an inch from slitting his throat yet still resulting in a nasty tear to his hood. Licorice Cookie looked so mad. Matcha Cookie snickered.

          “Matcha? Matcha?” MyCookie tugged on her robe. “Why not back to base? Are we gonna stay on the surface? Cause, I don’t think I like the surface very much. It’s too scary.”

          “Meh… me neither…” Matcha Cookie snickered again when Pomegranate Cookie tripped on a shroomie, landing sideways in the mud. Then again when Red Velvet Cookie got a wad of dough to the face. “Heh heh… so stupid… all of them… dum dum…”

          Then she noticed Butter Roll Cookie swinging his whisk, glancing back towards their hiding spot. Matcha Cookie shuttered and scooted towards the other side of the barrier.

          “Keep an eye… I’l k-keep your eye… both of em! Nasty liar… grrr…. GRR…!”

          “Matcha! Matcha, I wanna know… what happens–“

          “Go away!” Matcha Cookie said with a sudden grin. “Yes! We… go away! Heh heh… that boat… sneaky sneak it and—meh heh heh—go away! You! And me!”

          “Really?” MyCookie’s eyes lit up. “Where are we gonna go?”

          “Mmmmmm surprise! Yes! Um… don’t know yet… but we’ll go away! Far, far away! Meh heh heh!”

          “That sounds exciting! Is everyone else–“

          “No!” Matcha Cookie snapped, a bit harder than she meant to. “Don’t need em! None! They can stay right here!”

          “But… but why?”

          “…cause.”

          “That’s not an answer!” MyCookie huffed. “I wanna know why!”

          “…cause.”

          “Whyyyy?”

          “Cause! Cause! Cause!”

          “But I like everybody! I want them to come too! Tell me why!”

          “Caaaaaaaause!”

          “Matcha! That’s not–“

          MyCookie sucked in a breath. The little cookie’s body went as stiff as a board. So did Matcha Cookie’s as she squeezed him against her chest.

          “I-it’s looking.” MyCookie stammered, head swinging all around. “It’s l-looking at me! It can see me! Wh-where… where is it!?”

          Matcha Cookie’s head swung as well. Ahead, the clearing was a wasteland of unconscious fairies and poisoned puddles. The other desserts had gathered around the final dough monster, now barely the size of Schwarzwälder and shrinking every second. It didn’t even have its face anymore.

          Then Matcha Cookie felt the prickles on the back of her neck.

          With MyCookie in her arm, she dove forward.

          The barrier shook as a dough monster threw itself forward. Matcha Cookie pushed herself backwards, hiding at the furthest end of the barrier as the dough continued to slam against it. Its empty black face loomed each time it pressed against the barrier. Its eyes squirmed with desperation; its mouth boiled with longing.

          “It’s looking!” MyCookie’s face buried into Matcha Cookie’s robes. “I don’t like it! I don’t like the looking! ”It’s too close! It’s too much!

          Matcha Cookie tried to raise her staff and gagged when she realized she couldn’t, not even if she’d had her staff. Instead, she threw her shoulder against the other side of the barrier.

          “Hey! HEY! Forgot us! Heeeeeeey!”

          The desserts all turned.

          “ANOTHER ONE!? HOW MANY OF THESE FREAKS ARE THERE!?”

          “It is still only a monster.” Sighed Pomegranate Cookie. “No monster is about to break through a magical barrier, no matter how mighty.”

          “Regardless, let’s handle it quickly.” Red Velvet Cookie dashed with his sword in hand. The others followed close behind except for…

          “Uh… guys?” Licorice Cookie had turned toward the clearing. “Guys? GUYS!?”

           The change was instantaneous. One moment the dough pools were still, the next they roared to a violent green boil. The pools inched forward, rolling across mushrooms and fairies without discretion. Licorice Cookie raised his scythe.

           “Licorio Maledictum!” He cast his curse for what felt like the thousandth. It slunk into the air.

          Then disappeared with a weak fart noise. Licorice Cookie blinked.

          “WHAT!?”

          Before he could try again, the rushing dough pools forced him to jump away. The other desserts did the same, evading the semi-toxic sludge as it raced towards the barrier. Affogato Cookie cast a dark spell upon a moving puddle; Schwarzwälder slammed one with his hammer. Both attempts went ignored as the dough flowed around the barrier and funneled into the still-sentient dough monster.

          Slowly, the dough monster began to grow.

          Slowly, the dough’s strikes caused the barrier to crack.

          “Matcha Cookie! Get back!”

          “Get away from the barrier!”

          Red Velvet Cookie and Butter Roll Cookie shouted at the same time, both too late. One mighty swing from its expanding body shattered the barrier completely. Matcha Cookie and MyCookie went flying.

          “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”

          Matcha Cookie slammed headfirst into the remains of a silver tree, then flopped to the ground. The wind had been knocked out of her, her ears were ringing, and her arm: it was empty.

          Without even stopping to check herself, Matcha Cookie swayed onto her feet. Her mouth moved, but MyCookie’s name didn’t come out as she looked at everything at once.

          The dough monster continued to grow as it absorbed what remained of the other creatures. Trees and shrubs and fairies and spores all were all caught in its rancid sludge. It swelled to the size of a house, the size of dragon, the size of a castle, the size of mountain, until its face was as large as blackholes.

          Matcha Cookie spotted the little cookie at last, standing what seemed like miles away. One little hand was clenched tight, the other refused to stop shaking. The little head was bent back as far as the little neck would allow.

          Matcha Cookie staggered forward. She refused to let the pounding in her head or in her heart stop her.

          Do you know… that you’re a very special plant?

          Her foot snatched the hem of her robe. She used the wrong hand to break her fall. Her face landed on the warm, unforgiving dirt. Here she was, on the ground again: clumsy, careless, broken beyond repair.

          Even without the sun, you continue to grow.

          Matcha Cookie dragged her head up. She could just make out the trembling lip and watery eyes of a cookie her master didn’t even know. And beyond that, she saw the faint shapes of the desserts she despised more than anything. Her master’s beloved servants.

          That’s what I wish to be.

          Had she really just been thinking about running away? Did she really think she was capable of surviving on her own? Had she really dared to think things could get better? Why was she even here? Why was she even trying? What did she even want? Why did she even care? Why was she even a cookie in the first place?

          I want to grow and build a better world for all cookiekind.

          Right, it was because of the pretty flower. She loved cookies. She would want them to live. That’s why she’d made Matcha Cookie. So that they could live.

          … even if it means facing the darkness.

          Matcha Cookie’s hand dug into the dirt, deep down where the humidity could not reach. It was cool down there, comforting. She imagined sipping from an unseen stream and feeding off the stray whisps of dull sunlight. She imagined the soil covering her face, burying her in the sweet suffocation of darkness. Her dough began to prickle. Every fragment of life within her sparked with power.

          If she could save them all for her master, surely that would have justified her existence. Surely that would make her happy.

          Goodbye, my friend.

          With that comforting thought, Matcha Cookie let her consciousness fade away.

          “WHAT IS THAT THING!?!?!?!”

          “Incredible! The sentient dough has merged with the crumbled fragments!”

          “That thing is NOT incredible! It’s HUGE! And now my curse isn’t working!!!”

          “How does one’s curse simply stop working!?”

          “Whoooooooooaaaaa! This guy needs a huuuuuuge shroomie!”

          “A thousand pardons everyone, but please tell me we have some kind of plan to deal with this abomination?”

          The megadough’s roar was the sound of a typhoon; its spittle fell like boulders and left ponds of sludge wherever it hit the ground. As its form foamed and squirmed with a thousand shifting faces, the biggest of its empty eyes fell upon the frozen little cookie.

          MyCookie looked up.

          The megadough looked back.

          Then it began inching forward. Its faces rippled in and out of focus as it mowed down the woods. Trees, spears, spores: nothing was safe as the hulking mountain of cookie flesh made its way towards them.

          “We need to run.” Said Red Velvet Cookie.

          “Run where!?” Licorice Cookie wailed. “We can’t outrun that thing! It’s bigger than the Licorice Sea!”

          The megadough swept up an unconscious fairy, twisting his wings and limbs without mercy.

          “I don’t know! Just run! Run!”

          The desserts bundled up their robes and clung their weapons as they raced across the clearing. Licorice Cookie sprinted to the front. Poison Mushroom Cookie tripped, then was promptly thrown over Schwarzwälder’s shoulder like a potato sack. Pomegranate Cookie and Affogato Cookie dug up what little stamina they had left. The little cookie, too frightened to move, was scooped up by Butter Roll Cookie’s oven mitt.

          “Matcha Cookie! Get up!” Red Velvet Cookie shook her good shoulder. “We have to get out of here!”

          Matcha Cookie pushed herself to her knees, her movements agonizingly slow and her hand never leaving the soil. The megadough had already reached the spot where they’d all been standing and was moving faster with each passing second. Red Velvet Cookie prepared to scoop her up in his claw when Licorice Cookie shrieked. Almost at the edge of the clearing, he jumped back from a sudden matcha sapling.

          “What the!?”

          Another sapling sprouted. Then another one. And another. Matcha saplings the size of trees popped up along their line of escape. The desserts skidded to a stop.

          “Matcha Cookie! What are you doing?” Pomegranate Cookie’s mirror glowed with black magic. “If this is some petty revenge, now is hardly the time!”

          The saplings kept growing. They spread all around the group until they formed a huge ring. They stretched wider and grew taller, surpassing even the largest silver trees. Confused, Red Velvet Cookie squatted down beside Matcha Cookie.

          Her eyes had gone completely green without a spec of light inside them. Her hand was now buried in ground, digging like a root through the soil.

          The megadough oozed into a tsunami, a wave that threatened to wipe out the entire clearing in an instant. But the saplings grew faster. Their stems thickened and curved inward. Swirling high above the clearing, they weaved into a massive green dome. In a burst of leaves, the branches laced the ceiling shut just as the dough wave came crashing down. The world went black. The earth quaked. The megadough roared, but the sound was muffled by the unseen canopy of leaves.

          “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” screamed Licorice Cookie in the dark.

          When the faint glows of a purple pewter staff and a crimson mirror brought them into view, Affogato Cookie and Pomegranate Cookie both looked disapprovingly at Licorice Cookie.

          “…tch!” Licorice Cookie muttered a quick spell to make his scythe’s blade glow pale gray. “At least that spell works!”

          “Whooooooaaaaa!” Poison Mushroom Cookie stared up as far as the lights would allow and spun around with arms flapping. “It’s huuuuuge! Like… being in a big shroomie! I like it!”

          The sapling dome shook every time the megadough roared, yet the thick stems only flexed beneath the blow. Despite its pounding, not a single leaf fell out of place.

          “Matcha Cookie did this?” Pomegranate Cookie murmured, quickly shaking away her astonishment.

          The dome trembled again. This time the vines barely flinched; neither did Matcha Cookie, still kneeling on the ground with Red Velvet Cookie beside her. He waved his hand in front of her eyes, shook her shoulder, and tried lifting her off the ground. However, even when he used his claw, her body remained glued to the earth. Her face remained unchanged. Red Velvet Cookie’s brows knitted together as the others approached.

          “Hey! Matcha Cookie! Wake up!” Licorice Cookie tried shaking her head and snapping his fingers without success. “How is she even doing this!? She doesn’t have her staff! What on Earthbread is she casting with!?”

          “She’s using herself…”

          Butter Roll Cookie put his hand to his chin and stared hard. For a long minute, he said nothing, despite the confused looks that surrounded him.

          “Uh… yeah!? And what’s that supposed to–“

          “Matcha Cookie’s dough also contains a particularly strong sort of life powder—not as strong as my cookie’s, but nonetheless extremely potent. And volatile. Her dough’s already unstable due to her missing ingredient, which makes it perfectly plausible that her heightened emotional state from tonight’s events allowed her to bypass her dough’s natural magical inhibiters and cast directly using her own life powder!” His eye shone as wide and bright as the sun. “I’ve never seen anything like! What I wouldn’t give to have my tools right now!”

          “Butter Roll?” whimpered MyCookie. “Is Matcha going to be ok?”

          “She’s better than ok! She’s a marvel of cookie creation! A miracle of nature harnessed through an impossible feat of baking!” Butter Roll Cookie beamed. “Oh, but if you mean her physical condition then definitely not. Magical inhibitors are there for a reason. Without something to channel her magic into, she’s taking the brunt of all these attacks on herself. Assuming she can even keep this up, it probably won’t be long until…”

          A heavy slam of dough caused the sapling dome to buckle. A few stems stretched, a few leaves fluttered to the ground, and, in the same moment, a sharp red crack appeared on the back of Matcha Cookie’s hand.

          “Matcha!” MyCookie tried climbing down, even with one hand clenched tight, but Butter Roll Cookie kept a firm grip.

          “Matcha Cookie, you need to stop.” Red Velvet Cookie ripped a piece from his sleeve to stop the bleeding. “You need to take this barrier down before it crumbles you!”

          Matcha Cookie did not respond. In her glowing green eyes, Red Velvet Cookie saw nothing but his own frightened face.

          “If she’s channeling all her life powder into this dome, we’re not going to get through to her. The lights might be one, but she’s not there to answer the door.” Butter Roll Cookie caught MyCookie halfway into squirming out of his arms. “Which is also why you need to stay with me! She’s incredibly unstable right now!”

          “But Matcha’s hurt! I don’t want Matcha hurt!”

          “On the topic of getting hurt, might I suggest we don’t recklessly take down this barrier? Considering that we would all be immediately suffocated beneath several tons of sentient cookie dough?” added Affogato Cookie.

          “THEN WHAT WE NEED IS TO GET A PLAN TO TAKE DOWN THAT DOUGH MONSTER! FAST!”

          “Well, who had a plan!?” Licorice Cookie looked around.

          “Meeeee!”

          “Shroomies are not a plan!”

          “Awwww…”

          Pomegranate Cookie gave Poison Mushroom Cookie a pat on the head.

          “Unfortunately, stopping the dough may no longer be possible. At its current size, it is more than capable of crushing us in an instant. Physical attacks have already proven ineffective, and we only have three competent spellcasters… or, should I say two.” Pomegranate Cookie glanced at Licorice Cookie, who sneered back. “In which case, this dome has done us more harm than good. We are trapped here, unable to see what is happening outside or to retreat, and completely at the mercy of an unstable spell.”

          “Not necessarily.” Ignoring MyCookie’s attempts to talk to him, Butter Roll Cookie stepped to the side of the done. “We’ve seen Matcha Cookie’s saplings in action, remember? She’s not the best at defending against attacks from multiple angles. If we’re quick and careful, we should be able to poke an opening for ourselves without disrupting the spell itself!”

          “To do what, exactly?” Pomegranate Cookie narrowed her eyes. “Get to the point, doctor. You clearly have some sort of scheme in mind.”

          “I’m only saying that, if you can use your magic to create a small opening in Matcha Cookie’s barrier, we should be able to sneak out safely.”

          “Would that not that put us back where we started?” asked Affogato Cookie. “We still don’t have a chance fighting against that creature. And it would start chasing us all the moment we ran away.”

          “No it wouldn’t.”

          “…yes it would.”

          “Nope!”

          “But…” Affogato Cookie face scrunched up. “Yes, it would! That was the whole reason we came back to fight this monster in the first place! Because it would chase the little one back to our hideout!”

          “Not anymore!”

          “What do you mean not anymore!? What else…”

          Understanding struck everyone at once. They all stiffened, then looked back at the unflinching Matcha Cookie.

          “Active magic always gives off more life energy then resting magic, probably more if you’re throwing it out willy-nilly like she is! Not to mention that my cookie’s life powder was originally mutated from hers. Essentially, if my cookie’s a flashing sign, Matcha Cookie’s made herself a flashing city!”

          “So what?” Red Velvet Cookie’s hand resting over Matcha Cookie’s as he raised his head. “You want to abandon her here?  To be crushed by that thing? Because you haven’t done enough to her tonight!?”

          “Now hang on! I don’t want to lose her either! Especially after all this! I’m just pointing out what the situation is! I mean, she’s clearly willing. Why else would she have done something this reckless?”

          “Well leaving her’s not an option!” Licorice Cookie stamped his scythe. “We don’t throw each other under the bus! That’s not the kind of villains we are!”

          “YEAH!” Schwarzwälder seconded.

          “Yeeeaaaaaah!” thirded Poison Mushroom Cookie.

          Affogato Cookie looked off to the side.

          Pomegranate Cookie turned her mirror thoughtfully.

          “You have run an analysis on Matcha Cookie, correct? How long would you predict this barrier can hold for?”

          “Oh, maybe an hour or so? Assuming the megadough’s attacks stay consistent.”

          Another heavy blow to the dome cracked a sapling stem in half and left a matching crack on Matcha Cookie’s shoulder. Pomegranate Cookie continued twisting her mirror, eyes closed so she couldn’t see anyone’s overwhelming disapproval.

          “She still belongs to our master…”

          “Which is why I would never want to risk damaging her if it wasn’t absolutely necessary! It’s like you said though, staying in here isn’t going to help anyone. If we leave the barrier and let Matcha Cookie distract the megadough, you all can look for a weak point! Maybe draw its attention away from Matcha Cookie so she’s not pushing herself so hard?”

          “And what about you?” spat Red Velvet Cookie.

          “I’ll do what I would have liked to have done earlier! Get MyCookie back to base! With her distracting the megadough, my cookie might have a chance to make it out of this.”

          “But I don’t wanna leave Matcha!” MyCookie whimpered. I… I don’t want her to be a distraction! I want her to come with us too!”

          The megadough roared louder than ever before and slammed into the dome. The ceiling held, flexing beneath the blow, but this time it didn’t bounce back into place. An indent appeared, spreading across the ceiling of the dome. The saplings began to quiver until suddenly, with a thick wet growl, the entire ceiling bent inward.

          Matcha Cookie gagged and flatted against the ground.

          “Matcha Cookie!” Red Velvet Cookie wrapped his arms around her. Her breathing was strained. He could feel the bruising indent across her back as it deepened in time with the sagging ceiling. Above them, green droplets began raining down through the cracks. The humidity worsened with each tiny dough, bringing a horrendous stench down with them.

          “It’s raaaaining!” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s tongue popped out to catch a falling dough droplet, then puked up a wad of digested mushrooms.

          “I assume that the dough monster climbing on top of the barrier would reduce your previous estimate, Butter Roll Cookie?” Pomegranate Cookie held her mirror to shield her face from the falling dough.

          “Significantly!” Answered Butter Roll Cookie as he struggled to keep the flailing little cookie still.

          “Matcha! Matcha! I want Matcha!” The little cookie pounded at Butter Roll Cookie with a clenched fist. “Y-you gotta help her, Butter Roll! You gotta!”

          “And I fully intend to! After we get out of here!”

          “But you gotta help her now! Right now! Please!"

          “Well, I can’t do anything until we all finish deciding–“

          “Oh for the love of–!” A large drop of dough landed on Affogato Cookie, and he gulped back his own vomit. “I am going to create an opening, and I am going to get out of here because I do not wish to crumble! Anyone who does not wish to waste time whining and bickering is welcome to come help me!”

          Affogato Cookie swept across the barrier in search of a weak point. Objections followed but all were drowned out by the horrific groans that pressed against the dome. The saplings quaked and splintered beneath the weight; likewise, Matcha Cookie’s dough crinkled and cracked under her robe. Red Velvet Cookie was practically holding her together.

          “Affogato Cookie is correct. We have no time for this.” Pomegranate Cookie cast a stern look at the group. “Whether you wish to save Matcha Cookie or yourself, our best bet is to leave this barrier and act while the dough is occupied with it.”

          “I’m not leaving her.” Red Velvet Cookie answered instantly

          “So be it.” She turned toward the others. “But we do not all need to stay here, nor would it be prudent to. Before you let your emotions run wild, consider what Master would want you to do.”

          Licorice Cookie stammered incoherently. Schwarzwälder’s nostrils flailed. Poison Mushroom Cookie happily skipped through the doughy rain.

          “This barrier is too thick for my spells!” called Affogato Cookie. “Might I receive some assistance?”

          Pomegranate Cookie hurried to his side. Teetering on his feet for a moment, Licorice Cookie eventually ran after her. He took the last of the light with him, leaving Schwarzwälder to grumble in the dark.

          “Do what you want.” Said Red Velvet Cookie. “But I won’t leave her. Not like this.”

          Schwarzwälder grumbled some more, than slung his hammer over his shoulder.

          “This doesn’t mean we’re ditching you, GOT THAT!? We’ll figure out something to get you both out of here! HOUND’S HONOR!”

          Red Velvet Cookie hardly heard the werehound leave. His hands were full with Matcha Cookie’s crumbling pieces, dissolving in time with the falling leaves all that surrounded them.

          Affogato Cookie and Pomegranate Cookie ran their hands over the wall, searching for an unstable section without any luck.

          “It isn’t simply a wall of plants. It a thicket!” Affogato Cookie observed. “I cannot believe she cast something this thick!”

          “IF IT’S THICK, THIN SOME OUT!”

          With the blunt ends of his claws, Schwarzwälder began heaving aside the thinner saplings. He winced with every leaf he snapped but gritted his fangs and continued shoving them aside. He dug faster and faster, only for the saplings to push back every time he cleared one away. Even when he tore a small sapling from the ground, the plants remaining merely thickened, determined to resist Schwarzwälder to the last leaf. The same could not be said for the ceiling, which was beginning to sag close enough to be seen in the dull light. It loomed like a dark boil, ready to burst at any moment.

          “It is not going to stop growing.” Pomegranate Cookie wiped the dough off her mirror. “We must strike it together.”

          Affogato Cookie and Licorice Cookie nodded, their weapons at the ready as Schwarzwälder continued pulling saplings aside. Meanwhile, MyCookie had fallen into hysterics, blubbering inconsolably while trying to break free.

          “I don’t wanna leave Matcha! I wanna stay! I wanna stay with Matcha! I wanna stay! I don’t wanna go! I don’t wanna go!”

          With Butter Roll Cookie’s oven mitt drenched in tears, he finally set the little cookie on the ground. He put both hands on MyCookie’s shoulder and looked the sobbing cookie in the eye.

          “You need to calm down. All right? Calm down.”

          “B-b-but I… d-d-don’t want… I wanna…”

          “Who do you think she’s doing all this for?”

          MyCookie sniffed away a snot bubble that was almost the same color as the megadough’s droplets.

          “She’s doing this for you. Not for anyone else. Just you. Because she wants you to be safe.” Butter Roll Cookie smiled softly. “So, if you stay here and get hurt, all of her effort right now would be for nothing. You don’t want that, right?”

          “No…” MyCookie quivered. “But… I want Matcha to come! I don’t want her to get hurt either!”

          “Look, right now, you’re the most important here. Whatever happens, you need to be safe. You’re the reason everyone’s out here fighting tonight. Not just Matcha Cookie, but all the other cookies here too! That’s why you need to stay calm. For everyone!”

          MyCookie gulped and tried to breathe despite the awful smell.

          “It… it’s my fault… everyone’s… in trouble?”

          “No! Nothing like that! All of this was a complete accident! A comedy of errors, one might say! You just happen to be the unlucky cookie stuck in the middle. But that just shows how important you are! You’re my perfect cookie, after all!” Butter Roll Cookie ruffled the little cookie’s hair. “Don’t worry, you’re going to make it out of this. All you have to do is stay with me, and I’ll make sure we make it back to base safe and sound!”

          “But… but… what about… everyone else? Matcha? And Licorice? And Affogato? And Schazzweller and Poison Mushroom? And... and…”

          “All the cookies here are more than capable of taking care of themselves, but that’s going to be a lot more difficult if you start running around in a panic! So take a deep breath and–“

          “Then say they’re all going to be ok!”

          Butter Roll Cookie’s voice caught. His mouth closed. For a solid second, he simply stared down at the little cookie. The chocolate eyes twinkled faintly from distant lights.

          “Say they’re going to be ok!” The little cookie begged. “Say we’re all going to make it back to base, and it’ll be back to normal tomorrow, and… and everyone’s going to be there! Say that! S-say…” Blinking couldn’t keep back the tears. “Say Matcha isn’t going to... to go away! Say she’s going to be ok! Say it!”

          Butter Roll Cookie smiled and ruffled the little cookie’s hair again.

          “You don’t have worry about any of that. Everything’s going to work out just fine.”

          “…”

          “Hey, what kind of expression is that supposed to be?” Butter Roll Cookie chuckled. “I mean it. Nothing’s going to happen that’s worth crying over. Ok?”

          “…” MyCookie’s clenched hand clenched tighter. “…ok.”

          “Glad to hear it!”

          The entire dome shook with megadough’s gurgles, which emanated from every one of its twisted faces as it slowly engulfed the dome. Entire branches were falling now, sticking to the dough chunks that fell alongside them. The droplets made a speckled carpet across the ground, and the larger ones were just beginning to wriggle towards one another. Butter Roll Cookie swept a handful of them back with his whisk.

          “How’s that opening coming along!?” He shouted as he grabbed MyCookie’s only empty hand.

          Schwarzwälder had his entire body stretched out to force a single pair of branches apart to show paler saplings behind. Even now the branched pushed back at him, ready to snap back like rubber bands.

          “I… Think… this… is… all… I… can…”

          “And we’re out of time!” Licorice Cookie pointed to his scythe. “Count of three?”

          Affogato Cookie pointed his pewter staff. Pomegranate Cookie raised her mirror. All three weapons took on a black glow that plunged the dome back into darkness. All the light that remained was the faintest slither of bioluminescent from beyond Schwarzwälder’s silhouette.

          “One!” 

          Butter Roll Cooke watched from close by, his leg muscles tensed as he waited for their escape. MyCookie did the same, forcing the tears not to fall, clenching what was hidden in that little hand even tighter.

          “Two!”

          Far behind them, Red Velvet Cookie’s claw encased Matcha Cookie’s entire fragmented body. Crumbs and jam surrounded her, chunks of her hair fell from where the megadough had scraped at the ceiling, and even as she felt the werehound’s efforts as the twisting of her muscles, even as Red Velvet Cookie begged her to stop, the life in her dough refused to comply.

          “Three!”

          A trio of darker shadows fired at the weakened point. Matcha Cookie shrieked from the burn on her back as the spells ate away at the sapling. The saplings fought back, growing from the ground almost as quickly as the black magic ate at them. Finally, the combined spells managed to break through. Bioluminescent light appeared as the forest beyond came into view. The spells moved upward, aiming to widen the gap they had created. After all, the tiny space they’d chipped at so far was too small for anyone to pass through.

          Almost anyone.

          At the very instant they raised their spells, MyCookie broke free.

          “Stop!” Butter Roll Cookie reached out, only to fall over the forgotten Poison Mushroom Cookie. He crashed straight into the dirt.

          His shout caught everyone’s attention, but no one could see what was happening. No one knew where MyCookie was until the little cookie ran straight through the opening.

          “HEY!” Schwarzwälder reached after MyCookie. Instantly, the branches snapped back together. He barely managed to pull his arm out of the way before it was crushed by the plants.

          Pitch black chaos ensued.

          “What’s going on!?”

          “My cookie! Where’s my cookie!?”

          “THE KID RAN OUT THE OPENING!”

          “What!?”

          “Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it’s spooooooky again!”

          “Would someone cast a spell for light?”

          “Why don’t you do it!?”

          “I seem to have dropped my pewter staff.”

          “Can none of you ever be competent?!”

          The mirror’s scarlet red shone even brighter than before. Affogato Cookie scooped up his fallen staff. Licorice Cookie hurried to check on Schwarzwälder. Poison Mushroom Cookie made angels in the muck. Butter Roll Cookie hurried to where the opening had been. There wasn’t a trace of it now.

          Then everything jolted. Every dessert standing was thrown back to the ground as the huge dip in the ceiling shrunk. The tiny wriggling doughs all scurried to one side as the dome jolted again, knocking everyone around like popcorn in a hot pan. The doughy rain stopped, and the megadough’s watery roar lurched away from the ceiling and onto the ground.

          “It… it is leaving?” Pomegranate Cookie stared towards the sound.

          “Well, that doesn’t make any sense!” said Butter Roll Cookie with a laugh. “There’s nothing out there that could give off more magic than this dome is right now.”

          “What about– “

          “Casting life powder is always more potent than resting life powder. Always!” He began shakily climbing to his feet. “So, it couldn’t be going after my cookie. Compared to this dome, my cookie wouldn’t register one bit! I mean, my cookie can’t use magic at all!”

          There came a very strange sound: something between a strangled chicken and a guilty gasp.

          Everyone looked toward Licorice Cookie, who’s grey dough had suddenly gone very, very pale. Still sitting on the ground with his legs sprawled out, he raised a shaky hand to his chest. His fingers landed on the spot where a fairy had nearly slit his throat and padded around the tear in his cloak. The tear was all he found.

          “U-uh… wh-what if…” He gulped, making the lack of twine around his neck all the more obvious. “Th-theoretically… l-let’s just say… f-for a second… m-m-maybe…”

          Whatever Licorice Cookie was about to ask, no cookie would ever know, because at that moment, everything stopped.

          The light vanished, but so did the darkness, the dome, the megadough, the woods, and all that lay within it. Everything crackled and snapped and swirled together with the ribbons of shadows and gears. Sound tasted cold and metallic, scent felt sharp and angular, and all sense of sight evaporated into a strange, intangible dance. A few faint shades creeped through the cracks: yellow and pink and blue and purple and green cast from the crack of an all-powerful candy, calling out to one that such powers did not know. For none could see what had begun. None could see what had ended. None could understand but those for whom the strange array was intended and those who had already been touched by the insanity it formed.

          For that reason, Poison Mushroom Cookie was the only one among them who could see.

          Poison Mushroom Cookie was the only one who stared in awe.

          The only one who smiled.

          The only one who waved a cheerful hand and said,

          “Bye bye, MyCookie! Bye bye! I’ll miss you! Bye byyyyyyeeeeeeeee!”

═══════════

          Red Velvet Cookie was the first to open his eyes.

          He didn’t try to get up right away; at first, he wasn’t sure he could. Every inch of his dough fell sore with a strange stationary motion sickness. If someone told him he’d spliced into ingredients and baked all over again, he almost would have believed it. Even when feeling finally returned to his dough, his head still sloshed with the question of what had happened.

           Then he snapped back to his senses.

          “Matcha Cookie!” He looked for the cookie who was no longer beside him. A short distance away, he saw the shapes of the other desserts slowly waking up. He also saw the silver trees, the butterfly bushes, the glowing mushrooms, and the soft mosses—all perfectly untouched.

          His brow furrowed. He turned around in search of the megadough, but there was no trace of the creature. Even the fairies they’d battled and watched vanish in a wave of goo were nowhere to be seen. He did see Matcha Cookie, however, and ran to her side. She lay on a pile of leaves beneath a silver tree, curled up with her arm as a pillow. Red Velvet Cookie stared down at her as she cackled in her sleep. The cracks in her dough had vanished, every last one. If the dark scar on her armless shoulder had not been there, he’d have sworn he’d imagined the entire night.

          Schwarzwälder gave a loud yawn.

          “GEEZ! Talk about a bad night’s sleep.” He groaned. “Is it still night? Can’t really tell around here.”

          “What… happened?” Pomegranate Cookie rubbed her head. “The dough monster. Where is it?”

          “Wherever it is, it isn’t here. That’s enough for me.” Affogato Cookie’s back cracked as he tried to stand. He’d been laying on top of his pewter staff.

          “Neither’s my cookie!” Butter Roll Cookie pushed himself up, revealing a dark red stain on his chest. Affogato Cookie gasped.

          “Good heavens! When did you–“

          “It’s not mine.” Butter Roll Cookie dismissed with a wave of his hand. “The better question is where’s my cookie! I don’t remember a thing after the dome went dark! Do any of you?”

          The only response came from Licorice Cookie, who hopped up and started searching the ground.

           “No… no… no… not here!” He scurried around the clearing, wringing the handle of his scythe. “But… but maybe that’s a good thing? If it’s not here, that means that… oh…”

          Licorice Cookie stopped and stared at ground.

          “What are you babbling about?” Pomegranate Cookie asked, finally standing.

          Licorice Cookie reached down. Everyone walked over to see.

          In the palm of his hand, with its twine cut and frayed and a long black crack running down the center, lay his magic candy.

          “Licorice Cookie.” Pomegranate Cookie glared. “Explain.”

          Licorice Cookie held the magic candy behind his back, suddenly sweating more than the humidity required.

          “I um… I didn’t know, ok! I didn’t think it was a big deal! I wasn’t going to hand it off, you know! I always keep it on me! And I didn’t exactly give it to… and that brat shouldn’t have even been able to use it! It only works with licorice cookies, right? So, maybe I even thought I imagined… when… that time… ”

          “Just… skip to the end, ok?” Asked Butter Roll Cookie. “Do you know what happened to my cookie?”

          “I don’t…” He hung his head, allowing his hood to droop over his face. “I don’t know.

          Then a blueberry bird swooped down from the tree and brushed up against him.

          “Ack! Ack! Ack!” He flapped his arms to keep from falling over, much like the little bird as it flew straight through the group of desserts. With a final swoop, the little bird landed on Poison Mushroom Cookie’s head.

          “Oh! Hellooo! Do you want a shrooomie?”

          The little bird flipped its head upside down, revealing its face and the scroll in its beak.

          “Ohhhh! You got mail! I got mail!” The scroll dropped into Poison Mushroom Cookie’s waiting hands. Then Poison Mushroom Cookie squinted. “Your face look familiar… hey! Are you the biiiiiig–“

          The blueberry bird flapped its wings and zipped off into the sky. Poison Mushroom Cookie waved it good-bye.

          “Whatcha got there?” Schwarzwälder and the others all turned to the short cookie, who promptly unraveled the scroll. Poison Mushroom Cookie beamed.

          “Oooooo! It’s from Master! Master sent it!”

          “What!?” said Pomegranate Cookie. “Are you certain?”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie nodded. “It’s got her magic signature… and eeeeverything!”

          “What does it say?” asked Red Velvet Cookie.

          “Yeah! Don’t leave us in suspense!” said Licorice Cookie.

          Poison Mushroom Cookie nodded again and, in a somewhat dreamy voice, read the following:

To those who await my return,

          My search for the dragons has led me to discover an interesting location off the southern shore of Beast-Yeast known as the Isle of Life. The facilities here are high-tech, more than suitable for the creation of the Ultimate Cookie. It will take a week to reach this isle from Faeriewood, traveling southeast along the Skim Milk River and sailing south from the Spire of Deceit. However, I have it on good authority that the route will be free from monsters for the time being, allowing you to reach the Isle in a few days.

          I am well aware of your recent successes and your recent blunders in detail. To put it simply, our operations have been compromised, and a valuable specimen has been lost. Rest assured that I have no patience for explanations or excuses, and I have no time to waste dwelling on what has occurred. Neither should any of you.

          For the foreseeable future, I will be unreachable through any means. Until my return, I expect your full cooperation with one another. Here are my orders.

          Red Velvet Cookie is to return to the strawberry cake tower. I have sent instructions ahead of him for the baking of a new cake tower. He may take whoever he wishes to aid in construction.

          Those who remain are to travel to the Isle of Life and continue research into the Ultimate Cookie. Consider all other projects and personal interests to be suspended until further notice, including the construction of the Beasts bodies. The Ultimate Cookie’s creation is of the highest priority, and time is of the essence.

          Finally, refrain from crumbling my lead scientist. I know of his deceptions and will deal with him in my own time. However, nothing can come between the continuation of his research. Anyone who hinders it or this project in any way will answer to me.

          Dark Enchantress Cookie.

          Poison Mushroom Cookie looked up expectantly, only to see everyone staring blankly. Some stared at one another, some stared at the ground, some stared with confusion, some with anger, some with nothing at all. They stared so much that Poison Mushroom Cookie decided to stare too, at least until someone said something.

          “Well…” Affogato Cookie ventured. “I suppose… that’s the end of it?”

          Red Velvet Cookie stormed away. He scooped up the sleeping Matcha Cookie in his claw and marched into the forest without another word.

          Schwarzwälder hurried after him, and Licorice Cookie hurried after Schwarzwälder.

          Pomegranate Cookie took the letter from Poison Mushroom Cookie’s hand, then held that hand as she walked. Affogato Cookie quietly trailed after them.

          Butter Roll Cookie took a step. He looked back over the clearing, untouched aside from their own recent footprints. He put a hand on his chest. He felt the moist jam staining his coat and beneath that, the soft dough, the firm sugarbone, and the faint crackles of a highly potent life powder.

          Then he pulled on a smile and followed the others.

          It was a long walk back for everyone.

          Late that morning, a licorice curse looped lazily around the training room. There were no dummies for it to poison, no dough monsters for it to melt, so all it could do was slink through the air in weary figure eights. Licorice Cookie leaned his scythe in one direction, then the other, making sure he felt the magic candy’s cold energy shift accordingly. Every time his magic changed direction, the sharp edges of the gap crackled slightly, but that was the extent of the damage.

          “This was a lot more impressive the first time…” He grumbled, zigzagging the curse around some weights. “Was this even hard before? It’s like this stupid curse is burned into my brain!”

          “Need a target?”

          Licorice Cookie glanced up. Schwarzwälder had a straw dummy thrown over his shoulder.

          “I guess…” He glanced at a vaguely interesting speck on the wall while the werehound set the dummy in place. Once Schwarzwälder had stepped back, the curse swirled around the apathetic victim until its straw body bubbled with poison.

          “Pretty good.” Licorice Cookie nodded and sat down on the bench. “Uh… thanks.”

          “No problem.” said Schwarzwälder. Then he sat down on the bench too. They both sat, and they watched the little purple bubbles drift around until they popped.

          “Everybody’s still asleep?” Licorice Cookie kept staring at the bubbles. So did Schwarzwälder.

          “Yeah.”

          “They should probably get up soon. We have a lot of packing up to get done.”

          “Yep.”

          “Plus we’ll have to bury this place. So the fairies don’t find it.”

          “Uh-huh.”

          “I sure won’t miss sleeping underground! Do you know how many spiders have crawled into my bed at night!?”    

          “Worms too. Not to mention the ceiling always leaking”

          “Yeah! It’ll be great to finally get out of this dump! Maybe you can make a bigger training room in the next place, huh? Something we could both use at once!”

          Schwarzwälder scratched at a very interesting chunk of bench bark. Licorice Cookie scratched a dry spot in his hair.

          “Um… how is she?”

          “Fine. Red Velvet Cookie’s been with her all day. Hasn’t woke up, but there’s nothing damaged. Y’know besides…”

          “Yeah…” Licorice Cookie scratched his hair a bit harder. “What about… you?”

          “I’M FINE!”

          The force would have thrown Licorice Cookie off the bench if he hadn't already braced himself.

          “I mean…” Schwarzwälder shrugged. “There’s not time to think about things too hard. We got things to do. Places to be.”

          “Y-yeah…” Licorice Cookie nodded. “Places for sure. I checked the map for that Isle our Master mentioned. It’s really out there! Lots of uh… ocean.  Maybe there’ll be someplace to swim! That’d be a cool way to work out, huh? When we’re not all busy with the Ultimate Cookie, I mean. Poison Mushroom would probably like it too. And if there’s not a spot already, I’ll bet you–”

          “ABOUT THAT!” Schwarzwälder cleared his throat. It sounded like an avalanche. “I was thinking… about… not… and maybe… err… going with… Red Velvet Cookie… to the cake tower.”

          “What!?” A loud shriek was all Licorice Cookie managed before Schwarzwälder continued.

          “It’s not like there’s gonna be much need for protecting anything on a deserted island! You know I won’t be any good for that science stuff either! And the trip there’s gonna be smooth, like Dark Enchantress Cookie said, but it’d probably be a lot rougher going the other way! And obviously Red Velvet Cookie’s going to be taking Matcha Cookie. He’ll have his hands full. Probably needs an extra set of claws. Been a while since I’ve seen Esterhazy and the others too!”

          “So you’re just going to run off again!?” Shouted Licorice Cookie. “Just like that! Without even talking to me!? Have you learned nothing from all this!?”

          “IT AIN’T RUNNING OFF!” Schwarzwälder growled back. “AND I DON’T NEED YOUR PERMISSION! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!”

          “You know what!?” Licorice Cookie hopped to his feet and crossed his arms, turning away from the werehound. “How about you just go then!? Go right now and leave me be! Run off with your new best friend! See if I care!”

          “FINE! MAYBE I WILL!” Schwarzwälder got up and snarled. “SINCE YOU THINK YOU’RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME, YOU CAN GO BUILD YOUR OWN TRAINING ROOM!”

          “Well maybe I will!”

          “FINE!”

          “Fine!”

          “SOUNDS GREAT!”

          “Good!”

          “I’M LEAVING NOW!”

          “Then get lost!”

          With a snort, Schwarzwälder marched out of the room.

          Then suddenly, Licorice Cookie was next to him again, gripping a clump of the werehound’s arm fur.

          “WHAT!?” Schwarzwälder snarled as he spun around, glaring down at Licorice Cookie’s hood. Beneath it, he could only see the cookie’s clenched teeth. Then, slowly, Licorice Cookie raised his head.

          His eyes were bubbled over with tears. His nose bubbled over with snot.

          “You can’t leave!” He wailed and sniffled in a way that didn’t match the rest of his face. “You just can’t! Ok? You can’t!”

          Schwarzwälder’s snarl vanished immediately as Licorice Cookie pretended to be glaring instead of sobbing.

          “What happened to how things used to be, huh? When all of us were off doing evil schemes together? Dragon Mountain with the jelly worm? You remember that? And the Hollyberry Kingdom? Choco Werehound Princess really showed those snooty cookies what for! Wasn’t that great!? Good time!” Licorice Cookie gulped a huge gulp. “But now Batcat’s off with his family, and you’re always running off on picnics and train rides, and Poison Mushroom Cookie’s pretty much given up on any actual evil, and I’m stuck all by myself! Scrubbing and cleaning and testing this stupid magic candy and getting insulted all the time! Even those kidnapped researchers make fun of me behind my back! I know they do! So sure! Sure! Just run off with your cake buddies if you hate me so much! I know everybody else does!”

          Licorice Cookie pushed Schwarzwälder’s arm away and started to march back to the training room.

          “Hey…” Schwarzwälder took a step after him. “Hey, buddy, you know that’s not-!”

          “I know it’s not!” Licorice Cookie threw himself back at the werehound and cried into his fur. “I’m just being stupid and selfish! It’s all my fault! I’m the one who keeps trying to boss you around when you’re so much more mature now! I get it! I know when I’ve messed up! I just… I just…”

          Schwarzwälder put a claw on the cookie’s back. He opened his mouth, but Licorice Cookie kept going.

          “And now I’m making this all about me when you’re going through a hard time! I know how much you cared about that stupid little brat! Maybe that cookie drove me crazy, but I heard you through the wall last night! I know this is hard and you just need space and I’m just a bad cookie! Not even an evil cookie, just a bad guy and a crummy master and an awful friend!” Licorice Cookie tried to push away from Schwarzwälder again, but the werehound’s claw was in the way so he kept crying. “I’m sorry about the little cookie, ok!? I really am! It’s my fault for losing my magic candy and for Butter Roll Cookie getting loose! And you just gotta go so you can get over it! So just ignore me, ok!? It’s selfish is all! Me wanting you to stay! I remember you and that little brat always snuggling up on the floor and playing fetch that one time and–”

          “STOP IT WOULD YA!” Schwarzwälder sniffled. “NOW YOU’RE MAKING ME CRY! AND WE CAN’T BOTH… BE… HERE… B-B-B…. BAWLING!”

          And now they were both crying. Schwarzwälder’s huge tears left puddles on the floor while Licorice Cookie’s little tears were soaked up by cake fur.

          “I SORRY FOR LEAVING SO MUCH! I DON’T MEAN TO CUT YOU OUT!”

          “And I’m sorry for holding you back!”

          “I REALLY MISS THAT LITTLE KID!”

          “I know! They weren’t so bad… really! And I’m so sorry!”

          “I AIN’T YOUR FAULT! I KNOW THAT! REALLY!”

          They cried and cried and cried like a pair of babies. They cried so loudly and so ugly that they could hardly breathe. At that point, they finally stopped to scrub away their tears: Schwarzwälder with his arm and Licorice Cookie with his robe.

          “I… I guess we better… go pack up.” Schwarzwälder said with one last snort.

          “Yeah… I guess so…”

          Schwarzwälder finally let go. He turned to leave.

          “Wait! Wait!” Licorice Cookie put out a hand to stop him, then reached into the pockets of his robe. “Here!”

          He shoved two items into Schwarzwälder’s unexpecting claw. The first was a small pendant wrapped in twine–almost identical to the one Licorice Cookie was currently wearing, only with a large green stone.

          “I–” Licorice Cookie blew his nose into his robe and drove off the last of the sobbing. “Phew! I uh… well, after you went back for Matcha Cookie’s staff last night and passed out from… you know, I snuck into your room for it and whipped that up. I thought it’d be more practical for her, all things considered.”

          “Heh… you don’t think she’ll lose it like this?”

          “Hey! My knot tying had nothing to do with that! Just make sure she doesn’t go getting slashed by glaives, and it’ll work just fine!”

          “Bet it will.” Schwarzwälder snickered and looked at the second item–a lopsided chocolate tablet with messy oil swirls where the cocoa powder and grease hadn’t blended properly. “So uh, what’s this supposed to be?”

          “Flip it over you idiot!”

          Schwarzwälder did so. Shakily carved into the thin chocolate with equally thin letters was one word.

          MyCookie.

          “That’s what Poison Mushroom called them, right? Well… there’s this really stupid tradition back in that lame kingdom.” Licorice Cookie turned his head away. “They have this big dumb chocolate alter that warriors get to put their names on when they crumble. So, you know, all the families with not-warriors started making their own crappy tablets to remember the not-warriors with.” Licorice Cookie folded his arms again. “I don’t know what everyone else thinks, but I seriously doubt we could have taken on that megadough ourselves. I figured… well… you know,  that brat better appreciate this because I used the last of my cacao beans for that, and I–”

          It was Licorice Cookie’s turn to be surprised when Schwarzwälder scooped him up in a tight hug.

          “I’ll write you everyday buddy.” He sniffled. “That’s a promise.”

          “...you better.” Licorice Cookie sniffled back.

═══════════

          Late in the afternoon, with a file tucked under her arm, Pomegranate Cookie knocked on Butter Roll Cookie’s door.

          “Hang on! I’m coming!”

          She heard rusting, shoving, crashing, and footsteps struggling to push through something. Pomegranate Cookie lowered her eyelids, making her even more menacing when he finally opened the door. His apron was dusted with soot and pollen, and his makeshift eyepatch had been replaced with a white medical patch.

          “Oh!” Somehow, Butter Roll Cookie could stare harder with one eye than he had with two. “I didn’t expect it to be you. You don’t usually knock.”

          “You were promoted from prisoner to lead scientist. Such an honor warrants some amount of consideration.”

          “Huh. I suppose so!” He grinned. “Well, I’d invite you in but it’s a bit of a mess.”

          “I do not need an invitation.” Pomegranate Cookie slid past him but stopped mid-step over a shard of beaker glass.

          The room was a blast zone. Notes were half charred and scattered across the floor, furniture was blackened, clothes were smolders, walls were prickled with long spiked burns, and over it all was the unmistakable scent of fire and tea—both incredibly bitter.

          “I uh, got a bit of a good-bye present from Matcha Cookie.” Butter Roll Cookie closed the door with a chuckle. “An exciting way to wake up, that’s for sure!”

          “Irrational to the very end.” Pomegranate Cookie sighed. She trotted past a shattered mug and sat herself down on the desk chair. To accommodate, Butter Roll Cookie sat on what was left of the bed.

          “Oh, don’t be too hard on her! It wasn’t strong enough to do any real damage, and I had all my important journals put away, so no harm, no foul!” He scratched the back of his neck. “The real trouble is that she left with the cakes after dropping off my surprise. Now that’s a shame. I was hoping to talk her into staying.”

          “You believe you could have convinced her?”

          “I’m sure I could have figured out something.”

          “Hmm…” Pomegranate Cookie let her eyes wander across the destruction, ending on the white medical patch. “For someone who has lost so much to that cookie, you do not seem to hold any resentment.”

          “What’s a grudge ever done for anyone? Besides! Do you have any idea how much I learned from last night? Pure powder spellcasting, sentient doughs, shroomie potential as sedatives and anesthetics… And I’m still trying to figure out how that cookie was able to cast a spell using an ingredient dependent magical relic. Shame there wasn’t any residue left to test on, but that just makes it even more exciting to think about! I’ll have to use the trip to the new facility to write down everything before I forget. If the facilities there are half as good as what we have here, I’m sure I’ll be able to make some serious progress on the Ultimate Cookie! The loss of that cookie was a major setback, that’s undeniable, but it still resulted in a slew of new material to work with! Not to mention with the sample I was able to procure, there’s a chance I could still replicate the life power mutation for consistent testing. I doubt it’ll take us another hundred samples to get back to where we were!”

          “It seems you are well on your way then.” Pomegranate Cookie mused. “However, I did not come here to discuss your academics. I came to discuss your deceptions.”

          Butter Roll Cookie’s brow furrowed.

          “Ah, from the letter, right?” His smile turned soft and somber. “I assume that’s for keeping my discoveries about that cookie quiet, and for trying to jump into the procedure without discussing it first. I do apologize. A lot of damage could have been avoided if I hadn’t jumped the gun. Still, I hope you understand that it was with the best intentions that I–“

          “One of your underlings ratted you out.”

          Butter Roll Cookie’s smile froze. He blinked, erasing half the stars from his eye, and wiped his face cheerfully blank.

          “Hm?”

          “As soon as we returned, in fact, before I went to bed. One of the other researchers approached me with… concerns.” She raised her mirror to hide her amusement. “Concerns that you, Butter Roll Cookie, had been intentionally stalling off the creation of the beast cookies.”

          Butter Roll Cookie kept smiling. Pomegranate Cookie continued.

          “You never needed that specimen to create bodies for the beast cookies. Sample #101 was more than suitable. The other researchers all knew it and all had informed you in one way or another, yet you dismissed them. You said that such forms were not good enough for beast cookies. And yet, the one who spoke to me even dared to procure your medical notes while we were wandering Fairiewood. He showed me where, in your own words, you even discouraged the association between the Ultimate Cookie and beast resurrection projects for fear of the beasts becoming uncontrollable. A clever observation that you, of course, kept to yourself.”

          Butter Roll Cookie kept smiling, but Pomegranate Cookie watched the stars in his eye flicker and fade, one by one.

          “I assume this researcher acted in concern for the specimen. If he had known the specimen was already lost, perhaps he would not have bothered.” Pomegranate Cookie observed him carefully. “So, what do you have to say to that?”

          Butter Roll Cookie folded his arms, leaned back, closed his eye. He tapped his foot on the ground. He took a breath. Then he leaned forward again with a fresh batch of cheer.

          “Well, I suppose I have some explaining to do! Is that right?”

          Pomegranate Cookie snorted.

          “No. You do not.”

          Butter Roll Cookie’s brow crinkled again.

          “I did not come to hear you feign an apology or prattle off an excuse. As Master said, there is no time for such things. And besides, I believe we all know you well enough to understand that heroism and freedom are the furthest things from your mind,” She lazily twisted her mirror in her hand. “I have come to learn two things about you, Butter Roll Cookie. Two things that you should be aware of.”

          “Oh really?” Butter Roll Cookie cocked an eyebrow.

          “Indeed. And the first is this: you are no liar.” Pomegranate Cookie spoke cooly. “A manipulator and a self-seeking genius, yes, but aside from placating apologies, not once have you openly lied to us. The beasts’ connection to the specimen was our own assumption to come to. Your hasty procedure was to avoid the need to explain yourself. Even in our recent escape, I note how your plan never highlighted the sacrificing of Matcha Cookie or how your own safety was always the first ensured. I suspect you are a poor liar, Butter Roll Cookie, and that you are acutely aware of it.”

          “Hmmm…” Butter Roll Cookie scratched his chin. “What about the second thing?”

          Pomegranate Cookie set her mirror on her lap and stared into its reflective surface. She stared back at herself, mouth resting in a line and eyes cold. She could not see the shadows, pulsing and grasping at the back of her mind with endless desperation. She could not see her heart quivering. She could not see the way her thoughts, even now, flickered back and forth with doubt. So, she closed her eyes. Just for a moment, she let desperation overtake her.

          “I… deeply regret what I did to Dark Choco Cookie.”

          She didn’t need to open her eyes. He wasn’t surprised or confused or even remotely interested. She pressed on before she lost her nerve.

          “He was Master’s servant. He was chosen to serve her purposes, and his power almost gained us the Dark Cacao Kingdom. But I was selfish. I wished to snatch whatever pride that Master would take in that victory for myself. I wished to have Master’s praise. I wished to not only be the one at her side, but to be the only one near her at all. And because of that, I cost us everything. The kingdom, the soul jam, nearly my own life: all because I could not look past my own obsession. An obsession which…” Her hand tightened, just slightly, around her mirror. She knew he’d notice, but she knew he didn’t care. “Which I cling to just as tightly as it clings to me. Because somedays, I fear that such dark thoughts may not fully be my own. That one day, they may weaken or fade away entirely. Then where would I be? Who would I be? When I gave up all I ever knew to chase a dark obsession, what would I even be without that darkness?”

          Her sense finally came rushing back. Her eyes snapped open, cold as ever. As expected, he remained unchanged.

          “The second thing, Butter Roll Cookie, is that you have no interest in any of us. Your loyalty is to yourself and to your own projects. You do not serve our master. You serve only her cause, and that is something not even I can claim.”

          “Is that why you wanted to vent at me?” He asked warmly. “Because I wouldn’t care?”

          “I do not know what you are talking about.” She answered primly. “But all of this is to say that your trickery will no longer be working on me. We shall be working together, and my Master has no time to waste on pointless drama. I will be expecting you to communicate, Butter Roll Cookie, clearly and concisely, volunteering information when appropriate. I could not care less how you treat the others, but there will be nothing hidden from me. Is that understood?”

          “Sounds like a plan!” Butter Roll Cookie beamed.

          “Good. Now I would like a confirmation.” Pomegranate Cookie folded her hands and leaned forward. “Are you going to tell me everything about your experiments moving forward?”

          Butter Roll Cookie laughed.

          “Well, why wouldn’t I? After you’ve gone through the effort of analyzing me, it be rude not to!“

          “Are you going to tell me everything about your experiments moving forward?” Pomegranate Cookie repeated. “Yes or no?”

          Finally, Butter Roll Cookie’s smile wrinkled.

          “I shou–“

          “Yes? Or. No?”

          “…”

          “…”

          “…yes.” He answered at last.

          Pomegrante Cookie nodded.

          “I am glad we have come to an understanding.” She slid off the chair and pulled out her file. “Now, I suggest you start packing. Never mind cleaning, as we shall have to bury this place, and when you have a moment, look over these.”

          She handed him the file, and he immediately cracked it open. Inside were stacks of papers, each one featuring a paperclipped photo of a cookie and a list of academic accomplishments. Most were fresh graduates with high honors, but there was a handful of established scholars and specialists mixed in. There was even a skeleton doctor, for whatever that was worth.

          “More help will be needed if we wish to complete this project in a timely manner. Especially considering the… unfortunate accident… of a particularly loose-tongued researcher. These were the most qualified individuals we were able to identify. Select whomever you wish.”

          Butter Roll Cookie flipped through a few pages. With the file on his lap, he was free to rub his chin thoughtfully.

          “Most of these are from Parfaedia… A few from the Merry Berry Institute… and South Crispia Community College…”

          “Places with more lax information security.” Pomegranate Cookie clarified. “Are they not to your approval?”

          “Oh no! Nothing like that! I’m an ex-parfaedian myself, after all! I’m sure there’s plenty of help to be found in here! I was just wondering… you wouldn’t happen to know any scholars in say… the Crème Republic, would you?”

          Pomegranate Cookie hid her snicker before it could sneak out.

          “For that, we shall have to wait until we’ve finished moving.”

          “Sounds like a plan to me!” Butter Roll Cookie grinned.

          With that, Pomegranate turned on her heel, carefully stepping around broken glass and splinters alike on her way to the door. She stopped only once she found a clear patch of ground to stand on.

          “One last thing… about Matcha Cookie’s arm…”

          Then there was silence.

          “It was quite a tragedy. I am sure our master would be quite disappointed.”

           She let the silence fill the room to make sure he could feel it.

           “But there is nothing that could have been done. Jelly tardigrade are vicious creatures when provoked, and Matcha Cookie is nothing if not provocative.”

          The silence burst with Butter Roll Cookie’s laughter.

          “They certainly can be, can’t they? Even I was surprised!” He wheezed. “But I suppose that’s what they call the cycle of life, right? I’m sure her loss will be put to excellent use!”

          Pomegranate Cookie closed the door behind her.

═══════════

          Late in the afternoon, the sun shone brightly over the silver sanded shore. The Licorice Sea lay ahead in all its dark, murky glory, its waves bobbing with claws of sea foam. Behind lay Faeriewood with its glowing spores and metallic trees, with its faerie kingdom that was undoubtably preparing for a full-scale search of the woods. Between the forest and the sea, there was a boat, large enough to weather the waves yet small enough to be mistaken for a fishing vessel. There were even fishing nets hanging off the side, not that they were ever used.

          Red Velvet Cookie stood on that shore, trying to untie the last of the knots that kept the boat in place. His fingers and claws were clumsy today. This was his third attempt trying to undo this particular knot, and he’d scrapped his thumb on the silver sand twice. He grumbled and tried one last time, only for the rope to suddenly come loose in two parts. Neatly cut, the rope now dangled worthless in front of him.

          “HA! Now that’s how you handle a knot!” Schwarzwälder flexed his claws.

          “I needed that rope.”

          “Oh… well uh…”

          “It’s fine. I’ll use some from the net.” Red Velvet Cookie walked around to the side and snipped a few pieces off with his own claw. Then he took those pieces and tied them to the cut rope. Then realized he’d tied them to the wrong rope. Then he grumbled and untied them, only to cut his hand on the sharp sand again. Then he shook his hand, grit his teeth, and squeezed the bleeding away. Then he tried tying the rope pieces to the correct rope this time. Then his fingers slipped. Then.

          “Hey,” Schwarzwälder put his claw over the rope. “Maybe you should stop that."

          “We need the rope.” Red Velvet Cookie pulled his hands free and tried tying again. Schwarzwälder ripped the rope from his hands.

          “Well I need you stop! How bout that!?” He snorted, then in a softer tone. “You wanna talk about it?”

          “Talk about what!?” Red Velvet Cookie tried to snatch the rope back, but Schwarzwälder was taller.

          “Everything! That’s what! Go have a good cry or something, alright!? You can’t sail this boat when you’re howling mad!”

          “I can sail just fine!” He tried jumping again. Schwarzwälder wacked him on the head, knocking Red Velvet Cookie into the sand. “Urrr! What is it you want from me!?”

          “I want ya to get all this off your chest so ya don’t go crashing us into a rock!”

          “There’s nothing to get off my chest!” Red Velvet Cookie growled. “This is the same it always is! Pomegranate Cookie has gone out of her way to mislead our master, and now I’m forced to cower while she is free to act as she pleases! Nothing’s changed!”

          Schwarzwälder gave him a long look, one that made Red Velvet Cookie seasick before he even stepped aboard.

          “How exactly would Pomegranate Cookie have told her–“

          “I don’t know!”

          “Cause, she was there with us when–“

          “I don’t know!”

          “I’m just saying, I don’t think she had nothing to do with–“

          “Of course she did! Why else would I be sent away!? Why else would our Master let that demon live!? Why… why else would she… not even mention…”

          The fires finally started to weaken as he stood with his boots buried in the sand. The salty air pushed his hair into his face. It urged him to look up, towards the deck.

          Matcha Cookie’s hair whipped wildly in the wind. Her empty sleeve flapped like a flag. In spite of the distractions, Matcha Cookie sat still as a stone, cross-legged near the boat’s bow.

          It had been the same when she’d woken up. From his bed, she’d risen slowly. She hadn’t asked any questions or muttered any complaints. She’d only looked at him. She’d continue to only look as he explained everything—the dough monster’s massive form, her wild magic, their master’s letter, and, hardest of all, the loss of the young cookie. She’d listen to everything with deafening quiet. She barely even blinked, making her dead eyes all the deader. When he’d finished, she’d still said and did absolutely nothing.

          “Our Master has asked me to return to the cake tower,” He’d said. “And I wanted to ask…”

          His eyes clung to the white bandage he’d tied around her shoulder. He could still see the black magic burns that dug straight though one end and out the other, spreading towards her torso in a way his own cracked shoulder did not. Suddenly, he remembered something he’d heard the day he’d arrived.

          …there’s impressive attention to detail. There’s barely any lifeless dough surrounding the seam. And the absorbent qualities of the red velvet cake preserved the original jam system…

          Red Velvet Cookie could be fixed. Matcha Cookie would not.

          “You’re going to come with me to the cake tower.” He’d ordered. “I don’t want to hear any objections. You’re going, and that’s that.”

          Even then, Matcha Cookie had said nothing. She had sat there while he packed his things. She had followed him when he left his room. Only once had she run away—to where he had no idea because no sooner than he’d lost her, Matcha Cookie had found him and began pulling him towards the exit. Then she was empty again, following along with lackluster steps. When they reached the boat, she’d climbed aboard without even grunt. She hadn’t moved since.

          “Hey…” Schwarzwälder nudged him, though it felt like a smack. “How bout you go sit with her? I can finish these.”

          The werehound walked away before Red Velvet Cookie could object. So, with a sigh, Red Velvet Cookie swung himself aboard.

          “Matcha Cookie?” He approached her like one would approach a frightened rabbit. “May I sit?”

          Still nothing. She didn’t even take her eyes off the horizon. He cautiously lowered himself beside her and then, nothing. They both stared out at the lowering sun as it began its decent into the dark water. It would be a long journey. They would have to sail close to the shore to avoid the brunt of the Licorice Sea, then further still to avoid landing on Cacao shores. They’d have to journey past the Dragon Valley, avoiding any town with a thriving bounty hunter community, and evade the waiting eyes of St. Pastry’s spies. Even leaving later, the others would make it to the Isle of Life long before their group reached the strawberry tower.

          “Thank you.” Red Velvet Cookie said at last. “For saving us. If it wasn’t for you, we would all be crumbs by now. I know that… you didn’t have to do that. You have every reason to despise us. But you did. And I thank you for it.”

          Still nothing. The sun glinted off the pendant that hung from her neck: a gift from Licorice Cookie.

          “And I’m sorry for what happened. That…” He watched Matcha Cookie carefully for signs to stop. “Young cookie. Was very brave, and did not deserve what happened. Whatever it was. I… I am grateful to that cookie as well. Because… they gave me a second chance. To know you better. And I will not let that chance go to waste.”

          Still. Nothing.

          “I’ll let you be.”

          When Red Velvet Cookie moved, Matcha Cookie’s hand flopped over. Now it was resting on his lap, palm-side up. Red Velvet Cookie stared at it, then at her. Her expression hadn’t shifted at all.

          He placed his cookie hand over hers. At once, her fingers clamped down on his and squeezed until they threatened to break his sugarbones. Gently, Red Velvet Cookie squeezed back.

          The journey to Crispia was even longer than anticipated. Schwarzwälder had to sail the boat with instructions shouted from Red Velvet Cookie, and certain difficult paths could not be taken. Because even when the sea rocked the boat, even when the lava flowed, even when monsters threatened from all sides, Matcha Cookie would not let go, and so, neither did he.

═══════════     

          That night, Affogato Cookie prepared himself a treat: all the coffee in the pantry, all the vanilla ice cream in the freezer, all the caramel and fudge and sprinkles in all the cupboards, and all the dark cherries from Schwarzwälder’s secret stash that he’d oh-so-kindly left behind. The final result had to be put in the largest glass available. Affogato Cookie knew it would give him the worst possible stomachache, but who cared about that? It wasn’t like they were taking any of the food with them.

          He slumped at the dining hall table with one hand shoveling sugar into his mouth and the other rubbing his head.

          “What a day.” He sighed between bites.

          Packing had been a nightmare. Schwarzwälder had run off, leaving no one willing to move Affogato Cookie’s trunk of clothes. Pomegranate Cookie had demanded he reduce his wardrobe down to one bag, though he’d managed to talk Licorice Cookie into taking a few extra outfits in exchange for a free chore later. Half his makeup wouldn’t survive the saltwater, so he’d had to leave it. Worst of all, every cookie was in the worst mood possible. Licorice Cookie and Pomegranate Cookie had gotten into five scuffles. One of the researcher cookies had gone missing, and the other two had tried picking up an icebox, only for Butter Roll Cookie snap at them in his “friendly” way. The only exception to the sourness had just waddled into the room.

          “Heeeeeeey. I like your… ice creeeeeam.” Poison Mushroom Cookie pulled up a chair. “Do you wanna… shroooooomie for it?”

          “No thank you.” Affogato Cookie forced a smile.

          “Okaaaaaaaay.” Poison Mushroom Cookie set down a tray of roasted shroomies and buttercream meringues, then began stuffing them into an eager mouth.

          Affogato Cookie shook his head and returned to his own gluttony. He’d been thinking about previous events since they’d returned, counting all the opportunities there had been to prevent this disaster. Communication, planning, rational thinking, collaboration, an actual chain-of-command: these were things that the so-called Cookies of Darkness had none of. Was it any wonder his plot to overthrow the Cacao Kingdom had gone up in smoke the second these reckless hooligans got involved? And now their leader was out gallivanting across the contentment for who knows how long! A group of scattered cookies held together only through the image of a powerful, absent leader? He’d seen how that story played out.

          No, no there was only one rational option here. He needed to get away from Dark Enchantress Cookie’s minions before the group imploded.

          But where could he go?

          He stabbed another scoop of ice cream into his mouth. Crisipia in its entirety was out of the question, and he wasn’t stupid enough to face Beast-Yeast alone. The Tropical Soda Islands? No, he’d been recognized too many times just attending the Soda Rock Festival. Yakgwa Village was far too poor, and the Yogurt Dunes were far too treacherous.

          “Perhaps the City of Flowers then… I’m sure Camellia Cookie would help me get settled.” With a tired hum, he popped a cherry into his mouth. “But I’m not sure I’m ready to be stared and whispered about for the rest of my life… the small-minds of an isolationist nation…”

          “What’s an isonation?”

          Affogato Cookie stiffed,

          “E-excuse me! I forgot you were here for a moment!”

          “Yeeeeah. But I didn’t forget. I’m riiiiight here!” Poison Mushroom Cookie gulped down the last of the treats. “Hey everybody’s reeeally sad today…. Yeah?”

          “I suppose, one could call it sad."

          “Is it cause… MyCookie’s gone?”

          “Yes, that would be a reason.” Affogato Cookie once again imagined the many, many other reasons that he did not have fingers to count. “The crumbling of the little one was a blow to the experiment and to general morale. It shall certainly take some time to recover.”

          Time I need to get away from these maniacs. He thought as he sipped down his vanilla-tinted coffee.

          Instead of drifting into his own thoughts, Affogato Cookie noticed the mushroom cookie staring at him, very confused.

          “Crumble? MyCookie’s not crumbled?”

          Something prepared to die inside of Affogato Cookie as he rubbed his head.

          “I am sorry to tell you, but that is most certainly what happened. The little one took an unstable magical artifact, then exploded along with the megadough. A classic act of martyrdom.”

          He braced himself for Poison Mushroom Cookie’s tears. He did not brace himself for Poison Mushroom Cookie’s laughter.

          “That’s siiiiilly! That’s soooo silly! MyCookie… bloooows up! Heh heh heh! Soooo silly.”

          “I suppose it is. Crumbling is a joke that comes for us all, one way or another.” Affogato Cookie swallowed the last of his ice cream, already feeling the aggravation of his stomach. “Now excuse me, I’ll be going to my room for some antiacids. I’d hate to travel with poor constitution.”

          “Yeah, it’s a fuuuuunny joke.” Poison Mushroom Cookie cackled as he left. “Do you think… the fancy cookie knows it toooo?”

          Affogato Cookie paused.

          “Fancy cookie?”

          “Yeah! Did the… the faaaancy cookie know the joke? Is that… why she made it all…. blow up?”

           “What fancy cookie?” Affogato Cookie turned around and set the glass back on the table.

          “The faaaaancy one! The biiiiiiiig one!” Poison Mushroom Cookie rubbed at the purple mushroom cap. “Well, maybe not thaaaat big. But she’s got biiiiiig hair! And a biiiiiig hat! And she’s got an eye that’s all swirly-whirly!”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie scooted around in a circle on the chair. Affogato Cookie was not amused.

          “You’re saying there was another cookie there? With the little one? When it crumbled?”

          “Nooooooo! MyCookie didn’t cruuuumble! Cause the fancy cookie was there! The yellow one! With the biiiiig-“

          “Poison Mushroom Cookie.” Affogato Cookie snapped his fingers. “Are you saying that another cookie showed up in that explosion and… saved the little one?”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie looked blank for a moment, then smiled.

          “Yeeeeeah! She saved MyCookie! And I said Bye-bye! Bye! I’ll miss yoooou! And then… GASP!” Poison Mushroom Cookie put both hands on the mushroom cap. “Do you mean… they dooooon’t know!? About…. MyCoookie! Ohhhhhh noooooo!”

          Poison Mushroom Cookie hopped off the chair and waddled past Affogato Cookie.

          “I’ll go tell everyone! Then they’ll all be soooo happy! Happy enough for shrooooom-“!

          In three steps, Affogato Cookie was holding Poison Mushroom Cookie by the shoulders.

          “Heeeeey? Whaaaat is it?”

          Affogato Cookie’s mind was racing as he stared down the mushroom cookie, who stared back without a care in the world.

          “I think… we should keep it a secret.” Said Affogato Cookie with a sweet smile.

          “Why?”

          “Because we’re friends, aren’t we?” He smiled sweeter. “And you know, very good friends can keep secrets. So I think that this should be our secret.”

          “They dooo?” Poison Mushroom Cookie blinked slowly. “We’re friends? Are you… suuuuure?”

          “Certainly! In fact, look at this!” Against his better judgement, Affogato Cookie reached into his robe and pulled out a shroomie.

          “My shrooooomie!” Poison Mushroom Cookie’s eyes lit up. “Yoooou kept it! I knew you’d like it!”

           “Yes! That’s how you know we’re friends! Because I held onto this–“

          “To eat!” Poison Mushroom Cookie bounced with joy. “You’ll eat… a shrooooomie! Cause we’re…. friiiiiends!”

          Already Affogato Cookie’s stomach and brain had joined forces to object to this idea. Even the thought of choking down such a dreadful halogenic made him wish he’d have thrown the cursed thing away when he’d had a chance. None of this showed on his face.

          “Of course. I’ll eat this shroomie, and you’ll keep this secret. Because we’re friends.”

          “Beeeeest friends! Shrooooomie friends!”

          With that, Poison Mushroom Cookie sat back down in the nearest chair and fixed all possible attention onto Affogato Cookie and the little shroomie he was holding. Any chance of feigning consumption was out of the question.

          He looked down at mushroom, limiting the contempt he felt to his eyes as he wondered how much worse its effects would be having consumed a mound of processed sugar beforehand.

          Right now though, that cookie was gone, crumbled, plain and simple, and everyone was moving on. However, if the idea got around that that cookie survived, someone might get the idea to go after it. Someone else might try to stop them. Someone might cast a spell or throw a punch. Could this little conglomeration of criminal cookies survive another conflict? Certainly not long enough for him to find somewhere else to be. Of that, he was certain.

          He raised the mushroom to his lips and took a bite. He chewed and chewed and chewed as Poison Mushroom Cookie raised a round of applause. He fought the urge to spit it out. He chewed and chewed and chewed, putting off the moment of swallowing until he couldn’t put it off anymore.

          It will be over soon, he told himself.

═══════════

          The time recorder stopped.

          “It appears we’ve reached the end.” Baguette Cookie closed Coffee Candy Cookie’s notebook “And still, no clear explanation for this record. I’ll have to register a report with upper management for further instructions. The Relic Management Division might have some worthwhile commentary as well, considering the use of Magic Candy, though I’m unsure if anyone there has the necessary clearance to view this. I’ll make a request tomorrow.”

          Coffee Candy Cookie finished rolling up the printed report, lingering on the final words.

          “Coffee Candy Cookie? Do you have any thoughts?”

          “No.” She handed the scroll to Baguette Cookie and took back her notepad.

          “No?”

          “No.” Coffee Candy Cookie’s dark eye bags had returned, the coffee break now a distant memory, but even sleep deprivation couldn’t explain for such a forlorn frown.

          “I see.” Baguette Cookie lightly tapped the scroll. “Chapter one, section one?”

          Thirteen seconds passed, during which Coffee Candy Cookie fidgeted with the sharp edges of her notepad.

          “All staff must have quick eyes and hands.” She lifted her head. “S-sorry! I think the long night might be getting to me.”

          Baguette Cookie nodded.

          “It has been a long time. You should clock out, go home, and get some rest. Don’t worry about filing this report.”

          “That’s going to be hard…” Coffee Candy Cookie chuckled, just under her breathe. She hopped off her stool and tucked away her notepad.

          “Coffee Candy Cookie?” Baguette Cookie said sharply. Her employee jumped.

          “Y-yes?”

          Baguette Cookie crossed her legs. She removed her glasses and began scrubbing them with a handkerchief, ignoring the fact that her glasses were already clean. Her eyebrows tilted. Her eyes softened.

          “Tell me what you’re thinking.” She ordered, gently. “Whatever it is, talk to me.”

          Coffee Candy Cookie’s maturity held together for four seconds. Then it melted into an irritably pout.

          “It’s just… I don’t understand!” Her hands tightened around her notepad. “And when I don’t understand something, I get to the bottom of it! That’s what being a journalist is all about! If you don’t understand something, you look for clues, take interviews, put the pieces together until you reach the truth!” She let out a huge sigh. “But there’s nothing else to dig through here. It’s all classified information that I wasn’t even supposed to know about, that I’m not even supposed to care about, but it’s hard to let it go. Especially in a story like this! Matcha Cookie’s scarred for life, Butter Roll Cookie’s fine hurt, MyCookie is kidnapped or crumbs or something else, and there’s no good ending or answers anywhere! It just isn’t… fair!”

          Baguette Cookie didn’t see a reason to scold her. From the way Coffee Candy Cookie hung her head to the bright flush brushed across her cheeks, it was clear she already knew just how unprofessional that outbreak sounded. Instead, Baguette Cookie waited for her employee to raise her head.

          “You must remember, Coffee Candy Cookie, that these aren’t fictional stories we’re reading. These are cookies’ lives. There’s always more to them than what we see in these reports. Perhaps things remain grim, but perhaps they get better. Remaining objective means to consider both possibilities equally.”

          When Coffee Candy Cookie’s shoulders sagged, Baguette Cookie quickly continued.

          “It is more difficult for us at the Time Balance Department. We are privileged with a much fuller view of time than most cookies, but in the end, we are merely cookies ourselves. There are answers we may never receive, problems that we cannot fix, and choices that are not ours to make. If we dwell only on those things, we may forget the ways in which we at the TBD can help others. You are not wrong for having questions or frustrations. In fact, you’ve handled this situation remarkably well. Be proud of yourself. I certainly am.”

          For once, Baguette Cookie let her smile show. In exchange, Coffee Candy Cookie smiled back as brightly as she could.

          Then the door opened.

          “Baguette Cookie? You’re in here?” A small cookie peeked inside and saw the answer to her own question. “The director wants to see you in her office. She wants the report you just finished.”

          “The director!?” Coffee Candy Cookie’s pigtails stood on end.

          “I’m on my way now.” Baguette Cookie said, dismissing the small cookie and turning to Coffee Candy Cookie. “Don’t forget to clock out. Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

          Other employees of the Time Registry Department flooded in, cups of coffee in hand and workplace gossip on their mind. Only two employees were leaving: Coffee Candy Cookie, who beelined for the timeclock, and Baguette Cookie, who strode to the nearest elevator. She pressed the button for the most infamous floor of the TBD and avoided listening to the mind-numbing music.

          Instead, she considered the report in her hand; it had been flagged for an L-class or higher cookie, yet there was no such cookie in the report.

          However, L-class cookies could take many forms. There were the Elementals, whose presence could consist of little more than a breeze or a drop of water. There were the Witch Cookies, who could take various forms with their spells. There were the Novas who watched from the stars, the Dragons who soared over the sea, the Guardians who formed the land, the Beasts and the Ancients in their eternal conflict. There were also those who fit no clear category, personifying the pure natures of the abstract: hate, dreams, vengeance, love…

           Even time.

          Baguette Cookie stepped off the elevator and strode through the grand double doors. She did not stop to knock. After all, she had been here many times before, possibly across many timelines, and the director did not like to be kept waiting.

          The director’s office was claustrophobic, stuffed with machines and trinkets that would have any other TBD employee fired on the spot. A long table built for meetings was buried beneath gears and magical trinkets. The grand desk’s chair was mounded with hats while the handcrafted desk was occupied by the director herself.

          A cookie with massive golden hair, a tall top hat, a spiraling eye, and a timeless smile.

          “Timekeeper Cookie.” Baguette Cookie nodded, having long since given up on formalities. Any form of “Good morning” had been instantly mocked as was referring to her by position.

          “Baguette Cookie.” The director parroted back. “It has been too long! Or perhaps, not long enough?”

          “Both and neither.”

          The director clapped her hands.

          “Always the best answers with you! Always the cleverest. No wonder I keep promoting you so quickly!”

          “Thank you.” Baguette Cookie stepped crisply up to the desk and held out the report. The director snatched it with eager, grabby hands.

          “Oh yes! And thank you! I most certainly will enjoy reading this!” She unwound the entire report with a flick of her hand, then tossed it into a pile. “You as well? Did you enjoy teaching your new hire? Such an interesting case, that one. Interesting across every timeline…”

          “I believe it may have been an enlightening experience. One that could help her grow.”

          “It was! She will be going home, and she will think back on this night over and over. Bit of a timeloop, I think.”

          “Indeed.” Said Baguette Cookie, knowing it was best to play along. After all, it was not often that the director showed herself. Based on the reports, Baguette Cookie had only seen the director in a handful of timelines. More often she was not even aware of the director’s true name, let alone close enough to be summoned to her office for an in-person meeting. Given that, there was a possibility that everything she had lived up to this point was specifically constructed for this very interaction–

          “Four!”

          Baguette Cookie refused to flinch as the director shoved up four fingers.

          “Four!” The director repeated. “That is how many questions you are to ask. And how many I will answer! Past and present and future and forever: one question each. Very generous, is it not? More than any genie. Better than a shooting star. You may even give them to Coffee Candy Cookie if you like. They are yours to keep and yours to share.”

          The first question to pop into Baguette Cookie’s head—Why—was kept there. Asking why would be a waste. There were far more important things one could consider and despite her words, the director’s questions were not a gift. They were a test.

           With her arms tucked behind her back, her shoulders straight, and her mind clear, Baguette Cookie began.

          “Why did you enter the timeline in the report I just handed to you?”

          The director swung her legs back and forth. She plopped her head into her hands.

          “You would have known that, wouldn’t you? And here I thought I was quite clever. Not a single name or trace of me, hm? Not until the very end, though that can’t be helped. The little mushroom’s mind is far too spontaneous to avoid.”

          Baguette Cookie kept her mouth shut.

          “Hmmm… I had many reasons, in fact, but in the report? The first reason in the report? That was because I had to frighten a very silly beast.” The director giggled. “Got bored,” he said? Hm! Bored indeed! I am anything but boredom! Very funny, isn’t it? He wanted to scare a child, and I scared him. He doesn’t like me, you know. I told him he would fall. Told him he would lose it all. I told him so long ago and fall he did! Now I know more than he does, with my own power, than he does with that witch’s trinket. Of course I would get back at him. That is reason the first.”

          It was more than that, Baguette Cookie noted. By appearing alongside the beast cookie, she could veil her interference. Even if one knew Timekeeper Cookie existed, which was never a guarantee, they would have no clues to know she was there. Coffee Candy Cookie’s deductions never had a chance.

          However, even that observation left a crinkle. If the director had only appeared halfway into the report, she couldn’t have flagged the initial report with an L-class. So what did that leave? In a room full of E-class cookies, why was an L-class cookie reported?

          “…!?”

          “The second question!” The director caught the spark behind Baguette Cookie’s glasses and hurried to prod at it. “Hurry on, please. Like you thought before, I do not like to wait.”

          Despite the prodding, Baguette Cookie took the time to carefully formulate her thoughts. She adjusted her glasses, placing them at just the right angle so the golden glare of the overhead light hid her eyes.

          “For what reason would a newly baked cookie be flagged as L-Class or higher?”

          “Such a fun question!” The director’s smile spilled over, squishing her cheeks and brushing up against her hair. “But that is a hypothetical, is it not? So then, one should answer hypothetically.”

          The director spun herself around and flipped over on the desk. Now her legs lay stretched out on the top and her head dangled over the side, the jam undoubtably rushing to her brain. She closed her eyes.

          “Imagine a new kind of creature. Not a cookie or cake. Not a wizard or witch. Neither land nor sea nor space, but all of these things together. Imagine creatures who put all that we know of, the very concept of power and reality, to shame. With a mere thought, such eldritch horrors can erase any mind, rewrite any timeline, form any reality they so choose, then wipe it all away again. Our identities can be erased and reformed by their will, with we mere cookies being none the wiser! Fate and free will are their playthings! Morality is their delicacy, flavored to fit their tastes! And our world? Every world? Everything we consider existence? Fits within the palm of their hand. Shifts with the touch of their fingers.”

          As the director prattled on, Baguette Cookie couldn’t help feeling irritated. Perhaps she should have felt awe or fear, but all she could think about was how classified this information—-hypothetical or not—must be. A mere manager should not be hearing about this, yet the director was prattling on without a care in the world.

          “Should such beings exist!” The director raised her hand for emphasis. “Should they select our existence as their latest toy. Should they choose to reach out not with not in their limitless might but, in their comic boredom and uncomprehensible empathy, instead choose to set themselves among us, then certainly they would need restrictions. Otherwise, the truth behind the fragility of our lives would surely drive any cookie they spoke to into the depth to madness. No, these beings would need something through which to channel themselves. Something vast enough to hold their limitless existence, yet simple enough that even a child could comprehend. A vessel built for our realities but tailored to fit their preference.”

          The director’s eyes opened, glittering with mischief.

          “And if you were such a being, looking for such vessel, would it not make sense? Would it not be your right? To choose perfection?”

          Now it was Baguette Cookie who closed her eyes. The director giggled and flipped herself up again.

           “Three please! What’s the third question?”

          Suddenly, the image of Coffee Candy Cookie popped into Baguette Cookie’s mind. Her downtrodden expression, her tired eyes, her tidy notes that were rendered useless behind walls of bureaucracy. Without consent, the next question popped out.

          “How does this timeline resolve for those involved?”

          Timekeeper Cookie tilted her head to one side, then the other, much like a pendulum.

          “That is a very un-Baguette Cookie question. Too vague and imprecise. It must belong to someone else. How generous!” She flipped off the desk and walked to a wall of security cameras. “Why, the timeline resolves very well, I think! The best end for any timeline there is, of course! Because I’ve destroyed the whole thing!”

          Baguette Cookie flinched, biting down on her lip before just before a wasted “What!?” could pop out.

          “Yes! Yes you heard me!” The director broke into peels of laughter. “I’ve destroyed that whole timeline! Not so hard, really. I snip holes all the time with my Sonic Embroider. All one must do is leave them open! Let them grow wider and wider until the fabric is sucked away by all the other hungry realities! Pure inspiration! They’re always starved for content, you know, those hypothetical beings. Only so much matter and substance to go around, even in infinite universes!”

          The director swirled around, making her golden locks bounce behind her.

          “You know, I’ve been thinking of setting up a new branch of the TBD in the Kingdoms reality.” She mused, nodding to make her hair bounce some more. “Perhaps in a year or two. And once I do, as you know, as I know, it will have always been there. I think I shall hire you again. You always handle these things so calmly. Though, that’s dull in its own way. You’d think my spontaneity would startle you more. Make you worry for your little life? For the lives of those around you? Don’t you fear I might slit a hole here? Forget about it during a nap? Wipe you clear off the face of the time and space?”

          “No.” Baguette Cookie’s answer came instantly, so quick it snatched a giggle straight out of the director’s mouth. “When I exist, I will fulfill my job to the best of my ability. When I do not, others will step in to do the same. The TBD is a monument to that fact as much as it is to your capability as our director.”

          “Always the best answers.” Said the director. She was suddenly standing right in front of Baquette Cookie, standing on her tiptoes, looking down with a smile. “Now! What is the last question? What shall it be? Do tell before I get impatient and step a few seconds into the future!”

          Baguette Cookie looked up at the director without a trace of amusement. She took only one second to respond.

          “Will there be anything else?”

          The director lowered herself off her toes. She giggled. In the corner was a long black arrow, the same shape as a clock hand, and it flew into the director’s waiting grasp.

          “Only one thing. A question for you.” The director took a sidesaddle seat on the floating clock hand. “Who’s to say… that this isn’t a fictional story?”

          With slight nudge of her glasses, Baguette Cookie answered.

          “I suppose that would be you, Timekeeper Cookie.”

          She did not see the director leave. One nanosecond she was there, in the next, the office was full of flying papers, rushing winds, and the lingering cackles of a legendary cookie.

          Baguette Cookie looked over the mess and sighed. In the course of a few minutes, everything she had told Coffee Candy Cookie had been utterly invalidated. And for what reason? Every question she’d asked only brought more questions, made to serve some grand scheme that only the director would ever know.

          “Perhaps I’ll take the day off as well.” She picked up the scattered paperwork and set it on the desk as neatly as possible. “Goodness knows I have accrued enough PTO.”

          And so, Baguette Cookie left the office even more exhausted than when she’d walked in.

          Questions she could not really receive the answers to.

          Answers she could not really give the questions.

          Limited privilege yet endless responsibility.

          Such was the burden of middle management.

═══════════

          The little cookie woke with a start and remembered everything.

          “Don’t freak out!” Whispered MyCookie to the little cookie, though it appeared more like talking to oneself. “Don’t freak out. This has happened before, remember? Calm down. Deep breaths. Who? Where? When? That’s what we need. Who? Where? When?”

          The little cookie looked around.

          “Where” was a cozy bed with a patchwork quilt, an armchair made from a slice of jellied bread, a wall covered with baby pictures and pictures of friends, a table with a happy planter, a wooden paneled floor with an orange peel carpet, and a full length mirror.

          “Who” was in the mirror. The little cookie saw soft baby blue eyes, turquoise hair streaked with white, fluffy white pajamas with fluffy white booties, and a small yellow rubbery ducky to sleep with. This cookie… his name was “Chewy Ramune.” Chewy Ramune Cookie, to be exact.

          His heartbeat was already starting to slow. He really had done this before…

          “What about when…” Muttered Chewy Ramune Cookie. He tried to get up, not realizing what was lying across his feet.

          “Whoa!” The Cream Ferret jumped into cookie form. “Little one! Are you ok? What’s wrong!?”

          “N-nothing! I’m ok!” Said the little cookie. When he stammered, he finally noticed the four-leaf clover in his mouth. He pulled it out and looked closely at it. The plant was fresh, newly plucked, which could only mean that the “when” was the night after his and Creamy’s birthday party.

          “Are you sure!?” The cream ferret cookie crawled around the little cookie, checking for injuries. “You were really tuckered out! Are you sure something didn’t wake you?”

          The little cookie rubbed his eyes. In the brief moments of darkness, he saw thousands of things: pink hands grasping at rainbows, brown hands strumming a guitar, red hands digging through the sand, white hands catching a ball, grey hands tightening around a dagger, blue hands stitching a seam. Each and every single pair of those hands belonged to them—to MyCookie.

          “Yeah… something did….” The little Cookie’s eyes opened, bringing him back to this particular moment. ”A nightmare…”

          “A nightmare on your birthday!?” Cream Ferret Cookie gasped. “Ohhhh, I’m so sorry, little one! I must not have snuggled you hard enough!”

          “No, no…” The little cookie looked down at his empty hand, the one without a plant to hold. “It was a good nightmare.”

          Cream Ferret Cookie’s head tilted.

          “A good nightmare?”

          “Yeah.” The little cookie smiled.

          Cream Ferret Cookie’s head tilted even more.

          “How is a nightmare good? Isn’t being bad what makes a nightmare a nightmare?”

          Chewy Ramune Cookie didn’t think so. In fact, none of the MyCookies did.

          Most days, the little MyCookies lived their lives from the beginning. They didn’t remember being flung into the forest, delivered to the Cookie Kingdom, or adopted by Cream Ferret Cookie, but they heard stories about it all the time. Their proper memories started from the same place, then slowly split into thousands of separate lives: Blueberry Twist Cookie, Cake Hound Cookie, Sleepy Sheep Cookie, Plague Doctor Cookie, and many, many more. Some were exciting and complicated. Some were simple and plain. It all depended on what they wanted: the ones who kept looking at them, who had been around for their entire lives and therefore, were no longer scary at all.

          Living so many lives at once never felt strange to MyCookie. There were so many new friends to meet, adventures to take, and outfits to wear! LOADS of outfits! Sometimes MyCookie would even meet up with themselves! Those looking would lead them all into a shared timeline, and they’d have a grand time playing games, shooting fireworks, and sharing stories of all the lives they’d live.

          But there were other memories too. Special memories from long before the beginning, in a time that no longer existed, which drifted between MyCookies like clouds. Sometimes the memories were sweet and fluffy. Other times they were sad and stormy. Sometimes they were very dark and terrifying, and yet…

          “No. Sometimes nightmares are very precious.” Now that Chewy Ramune Cookie understood, he could lay back against his pillow and dwell on the past.

          He remembered the day that MyCookie held Licorice Cookie’s magic candy and tried using magic for the first time. MyCookie felt the energy crackle and, through the darkness of closed eyes, MyCookie had seen a fancily dressed cookie with a smiling face sitting on a clockwork hand.

          “Such a strange thing, these soul jams. Their wielders are either utterly dull or utterly arrogant! Nothing in-between! And yet… I must admit their powers are quite tantalizing! Even a poor cookie’s copy such as this! But is it the relic? Or the one who welds it?”

          “Who are you?”

          “I am the one who is watches always. In, over, and through time. Through each reality and realm, all of which are false. Into each possible existence, which may in fact be true.”

          “You’re not like that scary cookie… is he gone now?”

          “Oh yes! I’ve made sure of that! After all, you’re far too precious a cookie to lose!” She’d laughed. “You are the bridge between worlds after all! The vessel for beings far greater than a mere beast! You will be the one who prolongs the Kingdoms reality! Who opens potential far beyond what may be comprehended.”

          “That sounds really confusing. I don’t know if I get all that.”

           “Nor do you need to! Very soon, the end will arrive, and you shall abandon this timeline forever.”

          “But I wanna stay here! With Matcha and Butter Roll and everyone else! I wanna be a perfect cookie that’ll make everyone happy! I just… wanna stay here.”

          “Oh you stilly, small-minded cookie. That choice has already been made for you. Very soon, you shall come to the place where your continued existence will put all you love in inescapable danger. When that happens, you will call for me, for that is the only way to preserve any variation of your dear friends.”

          MyCookie didn’t want to believe her. MyCookie wanted to believe it was all just overactive imagination and the result of using magic wrong. However, it was only a short time later when Matcha Cookie was on the brink of crumbling and everyone else was about to be crushed. With the barrier caving in and Licorice Cookie’s magic candy in hand, MyCookie knew what had to be done. The little cookie had to break away from the others, had to run as far as possible, and just as the megadough crashed down, the little cookie had to call out.

          “I’m ready to go now! I’m ready!”

           With that little plea, the world froze. Then it twisted and turned upon itself, breaking into molecules and revealing a world of clocks and gears where she had been waiting.

          “And so we’ve arrived! Ready to usher in a new era of the Kingdoms reality? Ready to break it all down?"

          “You have to save them!” MyCookie demanded. “You have to stop the dough monster and make sure they’re all safe! Otherwise, I won’t go!”

          She had doubled over with laughter.

          “Still as foolish as ever! Don’t you recall? You have no choice in this matter! Why else would the magic candy land just within your grasp? Why else would every choice bring you to this place?"

          “I won’t go unless you promise they won’t get hurt!”

          “Even I am only a harbinger in this scenario. This choice is not mine either. Want to save your friends, hm? But who are you to make demands?”

          “Save them! Or else I’ll… I’ll send you away! I’ll let myself get crumbled! How would you like that!?”

          At this, she had taken pause.

          “Hmm… It seems… that those beings have taken pity on you. Yes, yes I think this is the path! To take this megadough and from it, to form your new existence!”

          “My… huh?”

          “And why stop here!? Infinite realities require infinite matter to create! I shall take the megadoughs from across every timeline and use them to forge your new existence! The fairies surely won’t miss them! And oh! All the lives I’ll have saved! Won’t Millenium Tree Cookie be envious?”

          Not a single MyCookie could remember what happened after that. There was the vague sense of the mind splitting like cells and reforming around flesh, bursting into thousands of eyes, mouths, hairs, arms, and legs, but that was all. All that remained was MyCookie, in various lives and forms.

          “You know, you say some funny things sometimes.” Cream Ferret Cookie’s concern pulled Chewy Ramune Cookie from his thoughts. “I know you’re all grown-up now, but don’t forget, we’re supposed to grow-up together!”

          “I’m not that grown-up, I think.” The little cookie smiled. “I’m still little enough to snuggle with you, Creamy!”

          The cream cookie shifted into a fluffy ferret once more and eagerly wrapped around the little cookie as the perfect neck pillow.

          “I’m happy to hear that! I don’t know where I’d be without my cookie!”

          The little cookie’s heart clenched in his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut to keep the memories from coming out his eyes.

          Most MyCookies never saw the strange yellow cookie again, but she had done as the little cookie asked. MyCookie’s first friends were all alive and well and often visited the Town Square. Licorice Cookie would sneak to Sparkling Cookie’s bar and complain over berry juice. Affogato Cookie and Pomegranate Cookie snuck into the shops, searching for clothes or gifts for her master. Schwarzwälder practically lived in the Town Square, and no little cookie could resist begging for a ride. Those desserts didn’t recognize MyCookie and MyCookie rarely recognized them.

          Except for a very special time in Strawberry Crepe Cookie’s Cake Shop. One little cookie, Rice Ball Cookie, had been taking Poison Mushroom Cookie’s order at the front. Shroomies, shroomies, shroomies, then suddenly, Poison Mushroom Cookie stopped and stared.

          “Do I remember you?”

          Rice Ball Cookie, who’d happen to have the memories at the time, was startled.

          “Do you… remember me?”

          Rice Ball Cookie answered with a secret smile. Then Poison Mushroom Cookie had climbed over the counter and hugged her tight.

          “We miss you all the time, even if we don’t remember. Thank you! Thank you very much!”

          Yes, that had been a very special time, but all their meetings were at least a little special. Every time MyCookie was with their old friends, no matter which MyCookie it was at the time, always turned into a very happy one.

          And yet, the only two cookies who did not visit the Town Square were the very ones who MyCookie missed the most.

          The little cookie looked out the window. The streetlights were lit, the shop windows were dark, and the night sky beyond held a full moon.

          “Creamy?”

          “Yes?”

          “What do you know about Beast-Yeast?”

          The little cookie felt the ferret shudder beneath him.