Poseidon vs. Athena
Well, well, well, I see I have some gossip fiends in my midst. I almost wondered if you would be intrigued to spill more of the gods' tea with me today. Now let's get started before some poor sport overhears and gets someone to smite me for telling all.
Ladies and gents, do I have a fun match up for you today! Once again Athena is at the center of some Mediterranean sea-sized drama along with her uncle, Poseidon. If you remember, which I hope you would, Athena is the goddess of wisdom and strategy. The newest player in this game of godly tug-of-war is Poseidon. Poseidon is a the god of the sea and land, but lemme tell you that man is as slimy as an eel. He thinks just because he is part of the Big Three he is entitled to everything the mortals have to offer. The Big Three contains the brothers Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon and the superiority complexes these men have is unmatched.
Our story begins with a people who needed a new name for their city. Athena and Poseidon grew particularly keen in obtaining patronage of the mortals' city. The two gods went before the city and its king to offer themselves for the title. A bit bit needy if you ask me, but that's on them. Poseidon, thinking of himself as high and mighty decided he would bless the people with a well... well, that turned out to be a salty mistake. The brain of a water-logged man thought it would be a good idea to create a well that spouted up sea water! HA! And he was surprised when it was too salty for the people to drink.
You could tell that Athena had enough of this seaweed shit and was ready to give the people something they could actually use. She hit the ground, the earth cracked and in the crack she placed an olive branch. It was a symbol of peace and prosperity, but if you ask me I thought the whole spectacle was a bit... underwhelming. Go girl, give us nothing! She's the goddess of wisdom. The least she could do is help public education and build them a library.
The king liked Athena's gift the most. I mean I guess I would rather have a tree than fish water. Athena won the patronage, naming the city Athens in her honor. To say the least... Poseidon was pissed and understandably so, but what else did he expect with his sodium-infested water well? However, I personally think he took it a little too far in the end. That whiny little crybaby has still not swallowed his pride. He continues to curse the city of Athens to this day. He blames them for not wanting his salty well, cursing them to never have enough water. If I were given these gifts, I know for sure they would be regifted at the annual holiday party, but Athena's gift was the better of the two... Poseidon just can't handle loss and that is why I avoid being stuck in a room with both of them.
That is all I have for today's little tale, but come back tomorrow for the next juicy story. Same time, same place, different stars.
Author's Note: I tried to give Eris more connection to her listeners, hoping that the beginning of the story would make them feel welcome and excited to hear more about the gods and their drama. In the last story I wrote Eris took more of a side, but in this one I wanted her to get more jabs at both of the components. Her comments and little jeers at each were more directed at their specific godly traits and powers than just blatant insults. Background knowledge was given on both parties, but because Athena was already introduced, I tried not to stay in her introduction too long. While it seems Eris is more understanding of Athena's gift, I want to portray her as seeing both gifts as crap and a bit ungrateful. I tried to add in some modern day references like based off of TikTok comments I have seen that are small, snide remarks hopefully giving in an air of familiarity and relatability even though they are fighting over owning a city. I am thinking of going in and adding italicized font to her comments that are not necessarily talking about the story at hand. This may make it easier to read and identify Eris' voice.
Contest of Poseidon and Athena. Web Greek-Gods