#7. How Firey Won - (BFDI, All season long)
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, today I am here to tell the story of the contestant who won BFDI.
There's a contestant in BFDI who goes by the name of Firey.
Embedded Files
"Make sure it's spelled Firey, not Fiery"
No one knows how he keeps burning.
"Because I'm just hotter than you"
No one knows where his weird surfer accent comes from.
"Duuuude, this is not a surfer accent brooooo!"
"One can say how Firey is more of a background character before others with more winning potential got thrown out" - Alien
There's a lot about this contestant that doesn't make a lot of sense to a normal person.
Most importantly, no one knows how the heck he won BFDI.
So we begin with a character introduction.
"Coiny! You're sooooo duuuumb!"
This will become the greatest contestant in BFDI. (Until Flower would take that away in BFB)
I also like how he bucks his hips when he's talking
The greatest contestant of all time
Also in the introduction, he is one of the few contesants to be completley forgotten.
When Flower wants space, she's gonna get space
Then he gets chosen for teams. And he ends up on the cursed Squishy Cherries team.
The stalker calls over the stalkee
Starting a fight
While Firey hobbles over to the red matt
Meanwhile, as the challenge happens. He proves to be more than just a dumbass.
He gets attacked by his own hammer
The greatest contestant of all time
He also smiles as his teammate falls into a giant fish's mouth
So that is the introduction to what will eventually be the winner of the show. Some random side character who will fly under the radar.
And that's exactly what he does for the entire rest of the season.
Starting episode two is actually one of the deviations to the normal of him. It begins as usual for Firey.
Running and shit
jumping over shit
sliding down shit
riding shit
burning shit
Then finally he completes most of the challenge.
(One of the only challenges he does well)
And then at the very last obstacle he reaches the end and...
He forefits the challenge
And now this may be very surprising for all of you viewers. And it certainly was for me. But this was weirdly the one time that the person who lost the challenge wasn't really at stake at all during the entire contest.
He barely was under any type of pressure at all. And yet Firey walks out of the Cake at Stake with only one vote to his name.
It was certainly a weird occurance to say the least. Most of the time singlehandedly losing a challenge would be the complete doom of a contestant.
So he continues through the Cake at Stake without so much as a scratch.
Then comes the challenge.
This is probably the most invisible Firey ever becomes in the show. Literally cast aside for the episode, all he does it fail a test.
Then it starts raining.
"A Teardrop family reunion?"
"Noooo-"
"-ooooo"
It turns out Firey is not the most socially adept person, and would prefer to hide away instead of embracing the family reunion.
Firey prepares for the end of the world
Surprisingly enough, this display of cowardace retirns no ire from the aidience, that is because Firey gets a free pass this episode. Blocky was the centerpoint of the epusode and for that he will pay for it. By being eliminated in a 6-4-1-1 vote.
Oh but there is this good scene where he grows a bush in five seconds
Episode four is also a episode without much coverage of the supposed main character of the show. Instead he only really makes fun of coiny (poorly). And then he also bakes a cake with his head.
"I prepared it using myself"
"I promise no loose hairs can be found in the cake"
And it returned some mixed reviews.
"THIS IS ABSOLUTE TRASH YOU PIECE OF GARBAGE! YOU DESERVE TO DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH"
"I like how it didn't give me food poisoning"
"I wonder why I only get to give up to six points. Oh well, here's a six now get out of my way"
This is another stretch of episodes where Firey doesn't do anything.
Like seriously...
Nothing!
At least the next episode is a pretty decent episode for him. Finally getting to meet the character a bit more.
Oh right, he's a big failure
And holds his team in last for a long time
A very long time
A very long time
A very long time
He does have one moment of genius. But it doesn't even come from him.
"If we just climb the pole, we'd be in first"
"I'll try"
"ohmygosh it's slippery!"
In the end he does get the key
And gets first in the challenge. It's a miracle he didn't fall in the water
So there's been a pattern with Firey's screentime throughout the past few episodes. He has one big episode, and has one small episode.
He was the main character in episode two.
He was invisible in episode three.
He was visible in episode four.
He returned to being invisible in episode five.
He became a important factor in episode six.
And he's back to being nonexistant for episode seven.
To be fair, can you name one notable thing about this episode?
Episode eight begins, and this is probably the first episode where Firey really becomes and stays as a main character.
So the episode before, he was swapped to the Squashy Grapes.
"Oh no"
"Oh no"
"NOOOOOOOO"
Funnily enough, Firey gets selected to be part of the relay race.
And it comes time for Firey to run the race. I already described how much of a screw up this was for Firey.
You don't plan for a screw-up
You plan around the screw-up
Luckily Golf Ball knows exactly what to do
"TAKE NO PRISONERS! LEAVE NO SURVIVORS!"
So thanks to Golf Ball, Firey's second big screw up is saved.
I seriously love how somehow, of all the disaster contestants the show has produced. Firey still managed to be saved twice from what should have been a certain elimination.
Then comes episode nine.
This is where his terrible challenge performance would finally start to catch up to him. Now he no longer has a fallback like he did with the Squashy Grapes.
Instead he is going to be put on the biggest disaster team that BFDI has ever and will ever have.
"Are you some kind of bad luck charm or something?"
"I don't know what that's supposed to mean but I hate you"
"She means whatever team you are on gets destroyed in challenges"
"Be quiet, I'm awesome!"
"I've seen you eat gum off your shoe"
"He's got a point, now listen to the bossy bot"
"Hey!"
"Hey!"
"Hau ab!"
Yeah. This was not a good time for him in terms of who he was teamed up with.
"That means Firey goes to MY team!"
"And he's just so dumb!"
"I know you are but what am I?"
"See, you're so dumb, you don't even know what you are"
Yep, we're at this part of the storyline for Firey.
Probably the single thing that got him closest to his elimination.
His conflict with Coiny.
So for the ninth episode of the show. Firey plays an important role in the show.
You all know what happens.
"A tightrope!"
"Uh, I have a fear of heights"
Wait for it...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
That's what we liked to see.
I'd also be ashamed if I hadn't mentioned he is the only contestant that looks like a blowdrier
Miraculously, this is one of the only times Another Name manages to pull out a win
So as I mentioned, this is one of the only times Firey is truly in any type of danger.
He always was semi likable, and was protected by contestants who were dead on arrival for their team.
Firey lost the challenge...
... but that's okay because four of BFDI's fans don't like obesity
Firey is a huge coward...
... but that's okay because Blocky is a cheater
Firey did not win Master Chef™...
... but that's okay because everyone hated Woody anyway
Firey stood motionless for five hours
... but that's okay because nobody really liked Pin's leadership style
"Don't take credit for being friends with Teardrop. She's a jerk"
But now there's an actual case for disliking him. Since this is the era of BFDI where he is labeled as nothing but a Coiny-slapper.
Honestly. I can't disagree
Basically this sets the tone for the next episode.
Although this is where the editors really come to help Firey out.
Because the Firey-Coiny conflict is completley undersold.
The entire episode is probably one of the most balanced episodes in BFDI. And it actually gives a fair shot to every contestant.
The big winner is Tennis Ball, who only goes with two votes
But here's where the surprising turn of events turn out.
Despite being the center of conflict of the episode.
Firey is safe with three votes
"Grrr"
And coiny is safe with five votes
"Grrr"
Both Firey AND Coiny somehow are safe on Another Name.
And two contestants who didn't have any conflict to their name found themselves eliminated.
0.000 purse change of winning
"Bitte eliminere mich nicht!"
Because Golf Ball was already annoying, and Rocky never contributed.
Firey was spared.
This next part is where Firey would truly be in a lot of trouble.
Because in this challenge, all he does is fight with Coiny until the team self destructs.
Like a lot
Thankfully for Firey. He has a saving grace. Because he manages to be the least offensive of the three on his team.
Between the contestant who immediatley fell off
And the one who sabotaged his own teammate...
...And killed Ice Cube...
...And lost the basket of nails
This manages to save Firey when he needed it the most. Keeping him secure into the merge.
And now without Coiny
"Hurray! Without Coiny, we can finally have world peace!"
Jealous
So at this point. Firey is going to become unstoppable.
Now he is going to be able to coast to the end, being too inoffensive to ever really justify his elimination.
With Coiny out of the picture, Firey was going to make an easy stroll to the end unless certain complications would happen.
So at the halfway mark of the show, the teams merge. And the game is about to be changed again. Thankfully for Firey.
Other than dying
He remains safe thanks to his win tokens
And being slightly better than Snowball
For the next episode, Firey would stay safe and in a good position.
One of his better performances in challenges too.
But first a little backstory.
"Eeeerrrreere"
"hngggggrrh"
"Hiya!"
"Ow, why did you slap me?"
"Oh, you know"
"It's just. I'm so used to slapping Coiny"
"Now, that he's gone, I... I just have to keep slapping!"
"I didn't say anything about kicking!"
I love this scene, beacuse it basically tells us why Firey did so well despite being quite a volcano of a character.
Every time he attacked someone, they attacked him back.
And thanks to most of the audience, they remember the last punch.
So Tennis Ball becomes the villain, and Firey is back to the hero, despite being the initiator.
This scene is also important because it foreshadows how he wins the challenge.
He slaps a tree
"HISSSSSSS"
And gets fourth place in the challenge
This next challenge he completley drops the ball, and fails monstrously.
First he misses out on getting free points
Thats right, Firey fails at free point giveaways.
Even though he waved and jumped
Even though he ran into acid
Even though he had arms
He fails at getting points. Pushing him closer to the danger zone.
Then comes the challenge. Which is one of Firey's worst individual performances.
He runs toward the first hurdle
Success!
He runs toward the second hurdle
And he's out
His already meek performance puts him squarely in the danger zone
This will be the longest stretch Firey has gone without a cake at stake. And how he has to return.
This will be his first Cake at Stake he has attended since episode twelve. How well did he do?
Second safe, as expected
Of course he's immune, he's so inoffensive and nonexistant sometimes, that he can get past any issue.
So then the next episode happens, and it's time for Firey to make a really weird guess.
The Announcer asks them a question.
"What's in this box?"
"Bonus points!"
"A mini version of Dream Island"
"A previously eliminated contestant!"
"A dead body!" ?!?
Then Firey randomly appears to be strangely insightful.
"Hmm"
"A barf bag... and... a taco!" ?!?!??!
This scene has no relation to the reason he won, but it's something I'd point out, just to mention how out of character this is.
The actual Firey probably would have said something like this:
"A lava lamp"
"Cartoons from the 90s"
"A bean bag chair!"
"Brownies!"
Okay, okay. I'll get back to the article.
The Announcer allows the contestants to make a choice.
"You can either choose the gross challenge..."
(It's the one on the left)
"...Or the boring challenge"
And as typical Firey would do...
He chooses the boring challenge
Your challenge is to make a taco, because the cake challenge already wasn't interesting enough"
And he tries to make a taco
And fails
"Come on, Firey! Hurry up!"
"Here's my taco...
"It's a bit burnt though"
Then it comes time for the results to come in.
And Firey wins
Ironically, this is another great example of how Firey would manage to win, considering he actions he took and the moves he made, resulted in him falling bakwards into winning every challenge again. In fact, he would do the same in the next episode.
He bowls a perfect game
No thanks to any skill he had, he just set the ball on fire
Then Firey is handed a major advantage in the game of likability. As long as he doesn't screw it up.
Which surprisngly he doesn't.
"You get to subtract 300 points from anyone on this scoreboard"
The advantage not only is that he gets to subtract the most points of anyone. But he gets to go last, this lets him see all of the conflicts and choose how he wants to take away. Because he gets to go last, he doesn't face any reprocussions for doing any of his actions. Finally, because he gets to see all of the conflicts and rivalries play out, he gets to take advantage of these and be the good guy.
First he would attack Ice Cube
Which probably offended a lot of fans.
Then he would target Spongy
Which nobody really cared about in the first place.
Then he would be the good guy and target Blocky
And the fans cheered.
And then Firey dogpiled on Pencil, and Leafy for their equality strategy
And the fans were neutral about that.
There was one more benefit to gaining the most points.
Firey would gain immunity in a massive elimination.
"That's pretty awesome. I'm pretty awesome"
So I would like to take a quick detour from the main concept of this article to bring up the very important concept of the game-ending moment.
Basically a moment in an Object show where you know who the winner will be.
Some examples of this are:
Bow gets eliminated at the final 5 of Inanimate Insanity. OJ is obviously going to beat everyone else.
Teardrop betrays Flower at the final 4 of BFB. Teardrop's reputation is ruined, and we all know Flower's storyline is going to prevail.
Ice Cream confronts Basketball in episode eleven of Object Universe. Her storyline couldn't be more obvious
Shieldy makes the final five of BOTO, he's clearly going to win.
These are all moments very late in the game, where one contestant is about to blow the rest away and take the win.
Unlike most game ending moments, this happens much earlier. At the final 9 (or technecally final 11) of BFDI. Where a mass vote is held, and everyone except Firey is eligible for elimination.
Is green with envy
Is not
The reson this is so important is because this would basically reveal the likability rankings accross the show, and for a decently late area of the game. This basically (intentionally or not) revealed the boot order of the show.
The final 3 of BFDI (minus Ice Cube) all get the three least amount of votes (With Firey at 0)
Then Spongy is revealed to be just outside the top three, getting fifth place in the real game
Then Pencil, Tennis Ball, and Rocky are revealed to be very close to elimination, which end in 9th, 8th, and 6th place
And Blocky is already eliminated
Athough Firey was not explicitly put in a category, it was very clear he was about to be part of the final 3.
He got less votes than Ice Cube just a few Cake at Stake's ago
So here's the game-ending moment. The show is already too far along. The final 3 is set, and now all that needs to be done is to kill some time until the finale.
Who knows? Maybe Bubble could get a cool storyline
Maybe Tennis Ball could stop being really annoying
Maybe Pencil could stop being mean
Maybe Ice Cube could do something for a change
Maybe Rocky could do something for a change
Maybe Spongy could do something for a change
Maybe Leafy can understand cause and effect
It's important to know that Firey Still has a chance to lose.
There are exactly three other contestants who have a shot at beating him in the finale. Bubble, and Leafy both have an equal shot at winning the show as well.
And Ice Cube? She doesn't stand a chance. Michael and Cary despised her run, and even had their alt/friend account vote for her twice.
Can't be found in a line of one
So after barely winning the last contest. Firey finally gains some power in the show.
Like one point ahead of the danger zone
"The Safe contestants will eliminate someone"
"Finally some control!"
So Firey has the opportunity to take out one of his threats in the game.
He picks Ice Cube
Except it's for the exact wrong reason.
"I'm voting for Ice Cube since she's my opposite"
Holy shit, Firey.
You literally just said the most offensive thing possible.
"I'm just stating a fact, she's my opposite and she needs to get out of here"
Firey, that's the worst possible thing to say.
"But she's dangerous to be around..."
Needs ice cubes to eat soup
Firey, everything you're saying, please say the opposite.
Why exactly did the audience support this personality?
The craziest thing about this event is that the audience didn't care one bit!
Not a single thing is ever mentioned about how this is so overtly inappropriate. Not even enough that he won the show.
Most likely this is due to the audience at the time not being the most respectful.
And neither was the show either
So the next episode comes and goes.
Firey loses the challenge (what a surprise)
But that doesn't matter, since Pencil is obviously going to be eliminated next.
#NeverForget
This is probably the big game changing moment of the show.
This is the moment, which I call "The Finalists Era" Because after this point, the show is going to only be about Bubble, Leafy, and most importantly, Firey.
This is the moment in the show where Firey goes from a quirky side character to the main personality of the show.
It starts with him riding a unicycle
And getting destroyed by Spongy
The greatest of all time
Although this isn't where his episode-long story arc would end.
It becomes a showdown between David and Firey. Both are forced to compete against each other for the very coveted immunity ticket. However, only one of them will get to recieve it. And if a certain one wins, then David will certainly be eliminated.
"Aw Seriously?"
Moving on from those blunders, this was the true definitive point where Firey became a main character. As he began to eat up a lot of screentime.
First by being a huge failure at tic tac toe
And then more talking to Leafy
Oh, great, we finally get to introduce BFDI's biggest and most popular ship of all time.
That's right, Leafy. Run away
But there are some funny dialogies between Leafy and Firey that begin around this time.
But don't forget Firey attempts to enter the world of beatboxing
Here's another scene that happens with Leafy and Firey which I am always impressed at. It's another example of the audience COMPLETLEY forgiving Firey for being a complete jerk.
Somehow he manages to always be the better of two evils, in this case, the audience justified him because nobody liked David. Especially my co-writer Alien who goes into a lot of detail why here.
Reguardless, here is the scene.
"I'm so glad David's gone!"
"Definitley!"
"He was weird"
"He looked a lot like a human..."
"... whatever that is"
*shudder*
Seriously, what the heck was up with the writing at this point?
Not only are they bullying a eliminated contestant behind his back, they're also once again being kind of exclusionary.
This is one of those scenes that NOBODY talks about, and I really think that they should because it's so messed up in the grand catalogue of messed up BFDI moments. Everyone remembers the transphobic remark by Pen or Pin's middle finger, but strangely nobody EVER talks about how Firey gets no reprimanding for bullying contestants who look different to him.
But back to the episode. What other chariable acts does he do to redeem himself?
Excluding the Announcer
Insulting the Announcer
Failing to enter a spaceship
Bullying the fat contestant
So for one of the meanest episodes he has ever had. Firey gets lucky once again, and the viewers aren't allowed to vote.
At the next Cake at Stake, Firey does learn something though.
He's not very popular among the actual contestants
Since this episode is basically one big Cake at Stake, there's nothing really important to note here.
Although in the next episode, he becomes a huge personality.
First we have an ill-fated interaction
That leads to one of the weirdest screencaps of the series
But more importantly, Firey rigs the entire series for him to win.
Firey's brand new cheating machine
It even complains like he does
And so he gets a challenge specifically designed to make him win
And he still loses
But don't worry, the hosts have another trick up their sleeve
So Firey and Flower win immunity, Spongy is eliminated (no surprise there)
It is now the final four. Firey basically has an even shot at winning this show as long as Flower doesn't win immnuity.
If Flower wins this challenge then it's fair game as to who of Bubble, Leafy, and Firey are the least liked.
So the final challenge begins.
Running over shit
riding shit
climbing over shit
writing shit
And a lot of dying
No surprise here.
Flower is eliminated
Firey is unstoppable now.
And so the audience is left with three finalists.
Sheds more tears than teardrop
Got killed for protecting the environment
The inoffensive one
There is also an entire episode of filler here. But it only helps to boost Firey's chance of winning. Since the conflict only centers around Bubble and Leafy the entire episode.
So as a result of Bubble and Leafy doing nothing but screaming at each other for the entire episode.
Firey wins the show
"Yay"
"Hnggrhn"
And that's how Firey won.
No one took him seriously, not even the audience.
So he managed to float by until the end. Where everyone else was either a crybaby or unlikable.
And he was inoffensive enough to win, he didn't even get a majority of the votes. But the others failed to even come close.
P.S. When looking at Firey's game, I noticed one thing which was just how awful Firey was at the game. All he had in his advantage was that he was likable. But if you take a look at the evidence, Firey is almost a worse competitor than Ice Cube.
P.P.S. I find the history of the Fireafy ship to be interesting for a few reasons. Since despite the fact that Michael and Cary intially were against shipping the two. Nearly ten years later, the finale of season four showed the pair riding off into the sunset together. What a change in prioroties.
P.P.P.S. I will also be the first to say I never saw this as anything valid. And I never understood the massive support it got. Because right out of the gate, this was a big deal for really no reason. And soon that became one of the hallmarks of BFDI itself.
But for years, and years this was the biggest talking point of the show. That was what people remembered the show by, and it's really unfortunate since it's not even a canon to the show. This was an example of a fanbase being itself so much, that it overshadowed the actual show it was aming to appreciate. There was a brief period where people forgot about it during BFDIA. Unfortunatley, due to a lot of circumstances, that died out, and Fireafy made a return in 2014.
P.P.P.P.S. I couldn't resist but...
"I prepared it as I bathed"
P.P.P.P.P.S. Episode 10 of BFDI is probably the perfect template to generate a good BFDI story. Because it so so importal with it's edit, the storyline allows for an actual vote of interest to work out. Since this time Rocky recieved the most votes purely for being boring.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Now I couldn't have gone through an entire article about Firey without discussing the very malinged and misguided OC Bias that persists in a lot of object shows. Basically the OC bias is given to one or more contestants who give an outlet to represent the creators. In this case, Firey was the main character of the show since he was the first created. In some of his comics, he was even the titular character. This bias still persisted throughout the show, even when he was doing bad things, it was presented in a positive light. Oh he threw the challenge but that's okay since he tries so hard. A lot of his villainous acts were presented as heroic, which really helped sell him as a winner to the audiences eyes.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I think that with time, Firey will be one of those characters who we remember the mania surrounding him, but soon after a lot of people are going to start questioning why we liked him in the first place. Not only is he rather bland, but he also fails at being a proper hero. Where every action he took was villainous but was presented heroically. The novelty is soon to wear off, and perhaps the audience will begin to see him for what he sometimes actually is.
Page updated
Google Sites
Report abuse