#26. Fries - (BFDIA 1-5)
This article marks my very first character entry.
A character entry is a article which is solely dedicated to one specific character. Where I will highlight some of their greatest moments during their run on the show. For my first character entry, I have selected Fries to be the perfect candidate.
Doesn't give a rat's ass
Now, you may be wondering "What in the world did FRIES ever do? He was in the bottom three every time! That's the person you want to write about? THIS is the person you think is one of the funniest contestants of all time?"
To that I reply: YES!
Fries is criminally underrated, especially in terms of comedy. He's probably one of the best one-liner machines the show has ever given.
Now there's a reason why Fries is so funny, and that is because he does not care about you, your feelings, or how you will react. He will say whatever he wants, whenever he wants to. And although that lands him in a lot of aggression, he will come back to you with the same ripping insults as if he didn't just get brutally mauled by his peers. I won't beat around the bush anymore. Here are some of Fries's greatest quotes, in no particular order.
"That would be a waste of time, just like yours is"
"That was a bit of an improvement, it's about 20 times better than your last attempt"
"Whatever, Teardrop wasn't much of a leader anyway"
"Spin the wheel already, Teardrop, we don't have all day you lazy little thing
"Yeah yeah, what EVER"
"AAAH TURN IT OFF TURN IT DOWN TURN IT OFF!"
"I say we kick them off our team as soon as we can"
"I can do that, but what should we do about these bodies?"
"Davids are the most annoying creatures I've ever laid my eyes upon"
"Lets see what you say when you get kicked off"
I don't really have much more to say on the subject at hand, it's a pretty basic article to say the least. But the point I wanted to make was that Fries is actually a one-liner machine, and look out for him whenever he is on screen. Usually out there to say something so snarky, and yet acting so bored as if he isn't trying to insult. He probably has the best delivery of any of the contestant, tearing people to shreds, yet no one seemed to notice that he did. Fries earns his title as one of the few contestants who get their own character entry. I hope I have convinced you of that too.
It's too bad that BFDIA was cancelled, just as we got to see Fries shine. If only he could have taken a bigger center stage in the future. I wonder how his snarky responses would have evolved had the rest of the season panned out like it should have.
"Move your ass you little piece of garbage"
"You can't possibly be this stupid, right?"
"Fuck this, I'm out"