#19. SNOWBALL! - BFDI (Various episodes)

"His arrogance and dumbassery make him one of the most enjoyable characters on the show" - Shake

"To be honest, I like Snowball. That puts me in the obvious minority" - Alien

"I completely understand Snowball. Who doesn't feel the need to punch someone when they are clearly wrong? And his hatred for everyone and lack of empathy towards anyone makes him an exceptionally entertaining character" - Dollar

Yeah, we're talking about him now.

He is our resident insane, mentally unstable, terrifying brute force dumbass.

And that's just the way we like him.

Arguably the biggest wild card in all of BFDI. Snowball's appearances were brief, but when he was on screen, we all knew we would be in for a delight.

This contestant was loud. This contestant was crass. This contestant was completely and utterly uncontrollable.

The unfortunate part about Snowball is that his legacy has been somewhat forgotten. People mostly remember him as the dumb jock with a heart of gold, at least if you watch the newer seasons. He stopped being such a intense character in season four. As for BFDIA, he failed to place that season, meaning that he would end up being a bit more forgotten. Since it has been almost ten years since the true Snowball was a actual character on the show. His legacy has been left to rot, and now he is not nearly as able to recapture what made him so popular in the first place.

This really was an instance of having to be there to truly appreciate it. There really was a Snowball-hate mania sometime in 2010. People were outraged, and wanted him to go as soon as possible. He became one of the most discussed characters in BFDI. And the producers knew that this was happening. Because when Snowball was about to be eliminated. He was saved through what some viewers would call an unfair twist. But if it saved Snowball, then it was something we should be thankful happened.

But back to Snowball. He was the man, the myth, the legend.

Another thing that I really like about Snowball is that he is always EMPHASIZING certain WORDS that don't NEED attention. And it's infinitely interesting to watch someone with next to no language skills, chew the life out of every single line he has.

There's so much content about Snowball that I want to include. I have decided the only way to truly appreciate him is to do a full comprehensive review of his 12 episode run on the show.

An Ode to Idiocracy: Every Stupid thing Snowball did

The Complete Saga

Our very first introduction to Snowball fittingly comes in on episode one. Where he is flying through the air on a hanglider. Thanks to some pewe-herman rube-goldberg logic, resulting in Woody being launched into the stratosphere. Here is where Woody nearly collides with Snowball on a hanglider.

Then we get to our real first Snowball moment, where he crashes face first into a mountain.

Three questions.

1. How did Snowball not notice a mountain in front of him?

2. Since when were there mountains in Goiky?

3. How the hell is Snowball smart enough to know how to hanglide?

Unfortunately we will never get the answer to any of these questions. Because Snowball brushes his embarrassing introduction off, by doing yet another idiotic thing.

Perhaps that helps explain why Snowball missed the mountain, he is probably blind. Yet the stupidity doesn't even stop here, he has one more thing to do to make his introduction one for the ages.

Seriously? What just happened?

There are so many weird things that happen in this one little scene, it's going to be a lot to unpack. First, we have arguably the biggest underrated fail in BFDI history, with Snowball faceplanting himself into a mountain. Then we get to see his weird, dorky, little hop and stride. As he hobbles his way down the hill, somehow again missing another person right in front of him.

Then after Snowball almost trips over another contestant, he tries to wake him up and VIOLENTLY SHAKES HIM LIKE A PAINT MIXER.

Then Rocky casually wakes up and says hello to the person who probably made his head permanently spin. And somehow Snowball gets annoyed from that, and THROWS HIM OFF THE MOUNTAIN, as if turning his brain into scrambled eggs wasn't bad enough.

Later, in part 2 of the first episode, Snowball gets put into one of the strangest love triangles to come out of BFDI. I've already written a lot about this topic, which you can read here. Because I don't want to retread old waters, I won't be covering this scene in detail. I'm also speeding past this scene because I want to talk about a arguably more legendary scene. Where we get introduced to Snowball vs. Golf Ball. A rivalry that starts nowhere, and ends nowhere. It all starts as the Squashy Grapes are discussing their plan, where one contestant is conveniently being ignored.

Golf Ball being Golf ball decides to pipe up and voice her concern, which Snowball has a problem with.

And scene. Another Snowball classic. We are only one of twelve episodes in, and Snowball is just as costic as ever. As it should be painfully obvious by now, whenever Snowball is in a scene, you can expect him to crank the intensity up by about 110%.

Going into episode two, Snowball doesn't have much of a spotlight. He runs quickly, and then falls into a pit.

Episode three is a larger spotlight for Snowball, as he gets a few good lines in. Including another highlight at his mammoth stupidity.

Episode four begins, another semi-slow episode for our out of control character. Throughout the episode, he gets a grand total of two scenes. And predictably enough, his two scenes, are him telling the same joke twice. I'm sure Snowball did more in the contest than come up with variations to his joke. But in the best way to humiliate him, he will only say the same thing twice.

Bravo.

No wonder Snowball isn't a comedian. He's not funny. At least not intentionally.

Episode five is Snowball's big breakout episode. This is the episode where Snowball starts getting a huge spike in his screentime, going from a throwaway side character, to one of the biggest personalities the show ever had. Because not only is he going to get a lot of lines this episode, he's also going to be the central conflict of the challenge, in a competition that desperately needed it.

And now since nothing interesting can come from the contest itself. Snowball starts reminiscing about a argument he had with Golf Ball four episodes ago.

Yes, it will be. Except for once, Golf Ball will be on the receiving end of it.

Then, he chases Golf Ball for a while.

What is it with Snowball and throwing things? His reckless behavior ends up costing his team a easy victory. He single-handedly blows the challenge for the entire remaining cast. Resulting in two bridges broken, and a tiebreaker to happen. This was also the exact same tiebreaker that happened one episode prior. I'm not going to even mention what it was, since I don't even want to give that awful joke recognition it doesn't deserve.

Episode 6 begins, and more insanity reigns when a team of three is formed. Of the two people he has sought to ruin the lives of.

We are in for a very good episode. Snowball. Rocky, and Golf Ball might be the best trio in BFDI history.

But for the time being, this group of three is going to be a very interesting ride. And unlike most episodes. Everything you expect to happen to Snowball, will happen to Snowball.

Example 1: Snowball and Golf Ball immediately get into a fight.

Example 2: The team breaks up instantly.

Example 3: Snowball casually murders half the cast.

Example 4: Snowball gets into a fight with the host.

Example 5: Snowball tosses Rocky and Golf Ball

Example 6: Snowball does something even a toddler could have realized is stupid.

Example 7: Snowball wins the contest the only way he can.

Episode seven passes by, he does get a few good lines in the episode, but since nothing happened in that episode anyway, you would be forgiven if you forgot he said anything at all.

Yeah, did anything even happen in that episode? I swear they work on that puzzle for thirty goddamn minutes.

Then episode 8. You all know what happens in it. It might as well be called 'Snowball's hissy-fit part 2'

Episode nine is here. And he gets quite a few good lines in the show.

Of course, those lines would only be the start, since right after, he goes into

Operation: Torpedo.
Goal: Destroy the Squashy Grapes

Episode nine would have been the episode to completely bury Snowball. As if he wasn't unpopular enough, his poor attitude and single-handedly costing his team the challenge would be what causes his elimination. However, because Pencil thinks that comedy comes in threes, she decides to keep Snowball around.

Thankfully for Snowball, he gets to lay low this episode, that is until he ends up contradicting the very reason why Pencil decided to keep him in the game.

Unfortunately, here is where the era of Snowball will come to an end. He this is where he begins to get less and less lines. Starting with episode eleven, he starts declining in screentime. By the time we reach episode twelve, he has become so irrelevant to the plot, he barely gets a single line in. And as you all know, he was promptly eliminated at the start of episode 13 once he was put up for elimination for a third time.

So there is the end of the Snowball storyline, the fall, the rise, and the fall again of one of the biggest characters in Object show history at the time. His elimination was cathartic, and sweet. But alas, his bombastic attitude, and overall manic tone, made him one of the very best characters for comedy. Easily deserving of his own entry in the funny55s.

P.S. Thanks to Shake, Alien, and Dollar for giving those wonderful quotes about Snowball.

P.P.S. While doing the writeup for this article, and examining the first few episodes, I feel I have to give mention to two weird trends that were in early BFDI, that we don't get to see much more. The first trend I noticed is that the characters used to be referred to as "people" a lot in the older episodes. This was later substituted for other non-personal pronouns, such as everyone, contestants, players, teammates, and friends. The second was how contestants used to not have sleeping eyes. Whenever a contestant was supposed to be sleeping, since the animators didn't have closed eye assets. They chose to make them have thousand-yard-stares whenever they were dozing off.

P.P.P.S. Another thing I thought was really confusing about the boat-gate was how despite everyone agreeing to not use Golf Ball's plan, they end up doing that exact same thing. Don't believe me? Just watch how the scene goes.

P.P.P.P.S. Another darker thought I had during the writeup of this article, is how Snowball shakes Rocky, it feels like a parent shaking a baby. Which got me wondering what the effects of shaking a child are.

"You should never shake a Baby, this can result in terrible harm being done to the child, and may result in cancer" - WebMD

What makes this even more messed up, is that this might have spurred Rocky into a damaged state. For those of you who don't know, before BFDI, there was a comic series called Total Firey Island. Rocky used to have a personality.

In BFDI he is completely Robbed of that side of his Personality. Regailed to the simpleton who can smile and vomit. Which brings me to my next point. If you look at some of the symptoms of Shaken Baby Syndrome, concussions, and brain damage, you will notice some extremely freaky Symptoms.

1. Difficulty staying awake/falling asleep.

2. Poor Eating habits.

3. Paralysis

4. Poor motor skills.

5. Poor Speech skills

6. Poor reflexes

7. And most importantly; Vomiting

You get the point. There's a startling amount of evidence for this little theory.

I seriously doubt this was intentional, because if it was, that is seriously fucked up. Also I find it funny for a article all about Snowball, Rocky upstages most of it.