For days, Zack complained bitterly about the fight with Angus. As far as he was concerned, Angus had started the whole thing, but Dionis had punished the Dark Hammers with an early curfew of 9:00 p.m. for a week. They usually stayed out until at least 11:00.
"If Betsey heard correctly," said Zach, "and Angus's mom is Creä, we could totally annihilate his reputation."
"He could just deny it," said Bill.
"My, aren't you the brilliant one," Zach spun around, nearly hitting Bill with his stiffly gelled mohawk, "Obviously, we need proof. Nobody will want to hang out with someone whose mother was involved in the Terrible Dischord. We might even be able to get him kicked out of here!"
"How do we find proof?" asked Bill.
"We are going to the last place you would normally find me," Zach replied airily.
"A shower?" snickered Bill.
Zach smacked him on the back of his head. "No… the Library."
Zach, Bill, Betsey, and Clem arrived at a structure resembling a cross between Notre Dame Cathedral and Dracula's castle. It looked ancient.
The librarian, Agrona Dotter, was the oldest organic person in the city and possibly the oldest person on earth. She had completely lost her concern for what people thought of her, which was apparent in how she dressed. She sported bright purple hair, an orange dress over lime-green pants, and a pink plastic raincoat on top of everything. She wore five rings on each hand, each band set with a different colored crystal.
"Can I help you?" Agrona called suspiciously, twisting to regard them from her perch at a towering pipe organ console.
Zach kept his distance. "I need to see stuff about Creä."
"Don't forget to look in the contracts section," said Clem. "My father is a lawyer and says always check the contracts."
"I started as a lawyer," said Agrona, "Quit because of those wretched contracts. I prefer people who just do the right, moral thing."
Agrona squinted through thick glasses. "Are you doing the right, moral thing?" she asked Zach.
"Yes, of course, ma’am," Zach shuffled uncomfortably. "Just doing some research."
"I see," the librarian continued to scrutinize the motley crew of adolescents over her shoulder while lifting her hands to the towering bank of organ manuals.
Agrona played a complex melody, and sonorous notes flowed through the vast space, emanating from pipes of every length and girth that lined the walls. Files, papers, and spiral-bound documents flew from row upon row of free-standing shelves to stack themselves neatly on a well-lit study desk. Had they been more observant, the teenagers would have realized that Agrona's Organ wasn’t in the Library; it was the Library.
"Oh, and can you look up anything about The Dark Hammers?" asked Zach.
Agrona played her Organ again.
"No reference to The Dark Hammers, I'm afraid," said Agrona. "Not sure why anyone would paint a hammer black, but kids will do anything these days."
"Are you sure there’s nothing at all about The Dark Hammers in here?" asked Zach, looking crestfallen.
"Well," said Agrona. "I suppose there could be in the uncatalogued boxes in the basement. But I'm not sure you want to go down there."
"You know Zach," said Clem. "Maybe we could think about changing our name to something…."
Zach glared. "We are The Dark Hammers! Now go do that reading thing you do and find me some dirt while I go and see what people are saying about our band."
Zach turned back to Agrona.
"So, how do I get to the basement?" he asked.
"Stairs are over there." Agrona pointed to a very dark corner of the Library.
Zach stormed off and disappeared down the stairs.
"But I really wouldn't go down there," she continued. "There's a reason those boxes are still uncatalogued."
Agrona sighed and shrugged her shoulders.
Painfully bored, Betsey loudly chewed gum and flipped through magazines, scribbling on any face she thought was more interesting than hers. Bill watched bugs crawl through a crack in the wall while Clem sifted through books and contracts.
"Found it!" said Clem. "Angus's mother is, for sure, Creä."
Betsey and Bill came to peer over his shoulder.
"First off," said Clem pointing to a contract. "I had to find Creä's real name. It was super hard to find, but I eventually did in the accounting section of Wagner Records. Turns out, it's Tianna Tutter."
"Then I asked for any legal stuff to do with Tianna Tutter, and I found Angus's birth certificate," said Clem.
"Now we have proof!" said Betsey, "We can tell everyone that Angus's mother was Creä."
"Oh, there's more," said Clem, "something even worse; it’ll destroy Angus."
"What, what, tell me, tell me," said Bill as he giddily bounced on the balls of his feet.
"The other name on this birth certificate," said Clem. "Under where it says ‘father’ is... Lucas Wagner."
"O...M...G!" Betsey shouted. "Angus's father is MENDAX!"
"His father is, like, the most hated person in all of Thrum!" said Bill hopping from foot to foot in glee. "Just wait until Zach hears about this!"
"Excuse me," said a voice from behind them.
The three of them jumped. It was Agrona.
"Was the young man who went downstairs named Zach Hendrik?" she asked.
"Yeah, so what?" Betsey cracked her gum.
"I remember his mother, Ella Hendrik," Agrona said. "She spent much time here studying and was quite the orchestral arranger."
"Parents," said Bill. "Who knew Zach's mom was a bookworm."
"Yes, a book lover she was," Agrona reminisced, glancing toward the stairs. "I'm surprised Zach is still down there. Most people don't last this long."
On cue, Zach came shrieking up the stairs wearing his Skull Flame Persona. At least it looked like his Skull Flame Persona because his mohawk was literally in flames.
"There's a fire-breathing Bagpipes down there!" Zach wailed, slapping his hair madly. "Why on earth do you have fire-breathing Bagpipes in the basement?"
"Oh, they were all the rage when I was younger,” said Agrona. I was a little negligent and didn't play him enough. He decided to run off."
A plaid, insectile creature clattered out from the shadows, honking woefully, and spitting fire. "Off you go, Baggins!" Agrona ordered, "Be nice if you want to come out. You can't go lighting the visitors on fire."
Baggins, the belligerent bagpipes, waved its legs and blatted out tunelessly, then slowly retreated into the gloomy depths.
"He fried my style!" complained Zach, reeking of burnt hair. "You are going to have to pay for that!"
"Now, now... it’ll grow back. By all means, go to the complaint department, which is just through that door," Agrona pointed at the front entrance.
"Let's get out of here," said Zach to his friends. "This Library sucks and smells like books."
Mustering what little dignity he had left, Zach marched out the door. The others hung back a bit, giving him space to cool off.
"Strange bunch," mused Agrona. "I probably should have told them about Zach's father. Now, that would have caused an interesting reaction."
Zach sulked in their hangout, a cave on the city's edge. The lair had multicolored lights, huge speakers, and a collection of recording gear none of them knew how to use.
"This is so tragic," moaned Zach. "I'll need to write a song about this, and I'll call it… This is so Tragic."
"Um, Zach," said Clem as they finally caught up to him. "We have some good news for you."
"No news can cheer me up on this tragic day," said Zach as he brought out his guitar, Zappo.
"My life is so dark… like the never-ending night… this is so traaaaaagic." Zach sang while strumming a couple of chords on Zappo.
"No, really, Zach," said Bill. "I think you'll like this news."
"The scars won't heal....my head’s on fire…. This is so traaaagic." Zach continued to sing. His hair did indeed look tragic and smelled like burnt tires and skunk.
"So," said Betsey. "I guess you won't care that Angus's dad is Lucas Wagner."
Zach messed up his next guitar chord and slowly looked up.
"You mean Mendax?" said Zach, "The Mendax of the Terrible Dischord?!"
"Yup, yup, yup, yup," said Bill, beaming with delight.
They could see the wheels turning as Zach thought. "Does anyone know where he is now?"
"Well, there is the dance tonight," said Betsey, "I thought maybe you and me could go together and…"
"Perfect!" cut in Zach, "The dance is the perfect place for my new master plan," He put Zappo back to sleep and started pacing around the cave.
"Should we wear matching Personas?" asked Betsey.
"Why would we do that?" asked Zach, "People might think we're dating or something." He laughed and shook his head.
Betsey's face reddened in embarrassment.
"So, Zach," said Bill, "Did you find anything about The Dark Hammers in the Library basement?"
Zach smacked Bill on the back of the head.