Live On Purpose, With Purpose
Live On Purpose, With Purpose
In February 2025, I launched a monthly blog series on LinkedIn designed to help others live more intentionally and with deeper meaning. Too often, we move through life on autopilot - chasing milestones, completing projects, or even pursuing meaningful goals. Yet, many of us do not create the time to pause, reflect, and grow.
This series begins with the idea of living on purpose and then expands to living with purpose. Each month since then, I’ve shared personal reflections, insights, and research to spark thought and inspire more mindful living.
Below, you’ll find all of my entries so far.
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #17
We constantly talk about what’s next.
Graduation. Jobs. Cities. Titles. The next chapter.
But transitions like these have a way of asking a question underneath it all. Are we actually living the way we want to live?
Our lives are bookended by two dates: the day we enter this world and the day we leave. In between is a dash that represents everything. And somehow, we’ve convinced ourselves that the goal is to maximize it.
We plan the milestones - finishing school, getting hired, moving forward - but rarely stop to examine the life being built between those moments.
This is the part that matters most. Not the big wins. Not the exemplary days. But the ordinary ones. The conversations we avoid or lean into. What we tolerate. What we chase. What we ignore. Who we're with. Where our time is going. That’s what defines our dash.
It’s easy to believe purpose is something we arrive at later, after things settle down or after we “figure it all out.” But what if purpose isn’t waiting for us? What if it’s already showing up in the patterns we’re living every day?
Most of life isn’t lived in peak moments but in the in-between. They are lived in the routines, the habits, and the small decisions that feel insignificant at the time but compound into something much bigger.
So it’s worth asking: Are our daily choices aligned with the person we are trying to become and what we want to remember?
This isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s about being intentional enough to notice where our time and energy is going, what we’re avoiding, and whether our life feels like something we are creating or just moving through.
For me, this has meant choosing my people again and again. Staying a little longer. Talking a little deeper. Letting go of “perfect” routines to be present with the ones who matter most. Because when I reflect on the memories I am most fond of, those are the stories I come back to.
The big moments will come and go.
What stays isn’t just what you achieved.
It’s how you lived along the way.
So as you step into whatever is next, don’t just plan the next goal.
Pay attention to the life you’re building in between them.
In the end, the only crazy thing would be not to live your dash - whatever that means to you.
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #16
It’s easy to move through life without really noticing it. Not because we don’t care, but because we’re busy.
We often get stuck in the everyday, mundane tasks that we forget to appreciate the life we have and to live out this privilege. Not everyone has the opportunity to pursue their dreams or be surrounded by people who love them.
I forget this lesson especially during busy moments like the middle to end of a semester or trying to coordinate times with everyone during a break. It starts to feel overwhelming, but when I take a step back, I remind myself these are good stressors to have.
Research shows that how we interpret a situation, whether we see it as positive (eustress) or negative (dystress), shapes how our body physiologically responds. Not all experiences are positive, but when we can interpret a stressor as meaningful, it can fuel us rather than harm us.
And zooming out even further, we forget our time here is finite. We overlook the small moments that make up our lives.
The joy of hugging someone you care about.
The unspoken weight of saying goodbye.
The awe of experiencing somewhere new.
The frustration of trying something unfamiliar.
Life isn’t one big moment; it’s a collection of millions of these small ones we often rush past.
Am I saying we need to drop everything, travel all seven continents, or become a completely different person? No.
Sometimes it’s much simpler than that. We can learn a lot just by talking to someone new. Though, if that feels like too much, even something as simple as creating consistent time with the people already in our lives can make a difference. Simply being intentional about enjoying small moments together can go a long way.
As I prepare to graduate this May and reflect on my study abroad experiences, I’ve caught myself thinking, “I hate traveling.” Not because of the planning, or challenges, or flights (although being 6’4” on a small plane doesn’t help), but because of the goodbyes.
I get the privilege of meeting incredible people around the world and the equal privilege of missing them when I leave. Each goodbye gets a little harder, but it also reminds me how much those experiences mattered.
So instead of letting those moments fade, I try to carry them forward. The lessons, the conversations, and the perspectives show up in how I interact with others moving forward.
And in that way, saying goodbye becomes another way of saying thank you.
Not everything is meant to last, and not everything has to be grand. What matters is appreciating the moment we’re in and the people we’re with. That’s what it means to live, to experience the full range of our humanity in all its highs and lows and live in each moment.
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #15
Dear fellow people pleasers:
What are you doing for yourself?
What leaves you feeling fulfilled?
How are you living a life that is not solely for others, but for you?
I’ve been asking myself these questions lately.
This isn’t a post advocating for hyper-individualism or selfish gratification. Life is meant to be shared since we are wired for connection.
But connection should not require self-erasure.
I’ve noticed that whenever I have free time, I instinctively fill it with ways to make other people happy. Plans. Projects. Support. Availability. And while people pleasers, such as myself, love being there for others, we’re also people that deserve the same time and attention we give away so freely.
It’s hard to override this instinct. Pleasing others often brings safety, validation, and acceptance. It works. Which makes it even harder to question.
What's interesting is that we often believe we need to feel differently before we act differently. In reality, research shows the opposite can also be true. Often times behavior comes first with feelings and clarity following afterwards.
Think about how all of our relationships start. You spend time together, have an experience, and then form the feelings.
Even more basic: you show up to the gym not wanting to go in but leaving happy that you did.
Why don’t we apply that same logic to time with ourselves?
Recently, I’ve started taking myself on solo dates. Nothing dramatic. A walk, a dinner out, sitting somewhere and watching life go by.
Every time, there’s resistance. I have a whole battle in my head. I want to cancel. It feels unnecessary and a waste of time - maybe even indulgent.
And every time, I’m glad I didn’t listen to those voices.
It’s rarely glamorous. There’s no adrenaline or excitement. But it gives me something I struggle to create on my own: space.
Space to think.
Space to reflect.
Space to notice.
What’s working in my life?
Where is my energy actually going?
What shaped me into who I am right now?
What might be holding me back from continuing to grow?
There’s an irony in this, which is that developing ourselves is one of the greatest gifts we can offer our relationships.
When we grow, our relationships can grow with us.
When we know ourselves, we show up more fully.
When we honor our needs, we love more deeply.
Being a good friend doesn’t mean abandoning yourself. It means becoming the healthiest, most grounded version of you and wanting the same for the people you love.
“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.” – Robin Sharma
Challenge:
Take yourself on one solo date this month. Especially if you’re a people pleaser. Go somewhere you want to go and do something you want to do.
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #14
It’s Random Acts of Kindness Week.
But what if we lived as if kindness were common practice?
Somehow, we’ve treated kindness like an accessory - admirable, but optional. Something above and beyond. But biologically and psychologically, kindness isn’t extra. It’s foundational.
Research in psychology and neuroscience shows that when we do something good for someone else, their brain releases chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine, which are linked to trust, connection, and well-being. Interestingly, so does ours. Acts of kindness can help regulate stress, strengthen relationships, and improve overall health.
And it doesn’t stop there.
Studies on what researchers call moral elevation show that even witnessing an act of kindness increases the likelihood that the observer will act generously afterward.
I’ll say that again: when someone sees compassion, their nervous system responds positively and they become more likely to pass it on.
Social learning theory suggests that we learn how to behave by observing others. We model what we see reinforced. When generosity, patience, and courage are widely practiced without punishment, they can start to feel like social norms. Over time, they shape what we believe is socially acceptable.
In other words, someone is always learning from you.
So if you’re unsure where to begin, start small.
Here are just a few examples of how a small act of kindness can affect someone:
A coworker compliments someone’s presentation.
They go home replaying the praise instead of their mistakes.
A friend sends a heartfelt text.
It carries you through the afternoon.
You find a sticky note on your desk: “Proud of you.”
You leave it there longer than planned.
You start a conversation in the grocery store line.
Five minutes of small talk shifts the tone of your day.
A neighbor helps shovel your car after a snowstorm.
Gratitude replaces frustration.
None of these make headlines.
But they change how someone feels - about themselves, about others, about the kind of world they’re living in. And sometimes, that’s enough to make them do the same.
These moments feel minor, but they aren’t.
Don’t get me wrong, the world wouldn’t suddenly become perfect. Conflict wouldn’t disappear, deadlines wouldn’t be extended, and people would still have hard days.
But the baseline tone of our interactions could shift. A little more patience. A little more acknowledgment. A little more willingness to assume good intent.
And just like working out or brushing our teeth, it takes daily repetition to build something healthy.
So maybe this week isn’t about randomness at all.
Maybe it’s about responsibility.
What if kindness wasn’t occasional, but habitual? Not reactive, but intentional? Not rare, but expected?
Kindness is contagious. By choosing it, we create ripple effects we may never see.
How will you lead with kindness this week?
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #13
Elephants don’t survive by isolating themselves. In moments of stress or uncertainty, they reach for one another. They close ranks. They use trunk-to-trunk contact to reinforce connection and care for each other.
The cover photo of this article (found on LinkedIn) is a photo I took during my recent trip to South Africa. It isn’t just cute. It’s a lesson.
Right now in America, fear is being used aggressively. What is happening with ICE and civil rights violations feels like a power struggle over who gets to define belonging. And I’ll be honest, I struggled with how to speak up and make my opinion heard.
I didn’t want to add hatred to the discourse. I didn’t want to yell just to feel righteous. And I especially didn’t want to dehumanize people in the name of justice.
Fear has a way of doing that. It pulls us inward. It convinces us that the loudest reaction is the strongest one. But when elephants sense danger, they don’t scatter, they don't run to attack, and they don’t turn on one another. They gather. The strongest move to the outside. The most vulnerable are pulled inward. Their response is intentional, coordinated, and protective.
That distinction matters.
I believe those who want to contribute to America should be welcomed in more humane and just ways so every human - regardless of citizenship - is better off. But we do not get there through hatred. We do not build safety by stripping others of dignity. And we do not create justice by abandoning the very values we claim to be fighting for.
I want to start with love and compassion for the people I want to protect, support, and stand beside - the same way elephants do. From there, I am willing to fight relentlessly for dignity, safety, and respect without taking those values away from anyone else.
While in South Africa, I learned more about Apartheid and spent time reflecting on the leadership of Nelson Mandela, including stories shared by a former political prisoner from Robben Island. What struck me most was the realization that the movements that truly changed history for better were not driven by hatred for the “other side.” They were driven by love for a future that didn’t exist yet and a disciplined commitment to act in ways that made that future possible.
The same is true of Martin Luther King Jr. As I write this on the first day of Black History Month, these lessons feel especially important. King’s use of love was never soft or naïve, and it was never patronizing. He did not excuse injustice, but he also refused to reduce his opponents to monsters. Even as he confronted systems of segregation and violence, he spoke to the humanity of those enforcing them, insisting they were capable of moral growth. The progress we honor this month was not born from dehumanization. It was born from moral courage, disciplined love, and an unwavering belief in shared humanity strong enough to demand accountability without surrendering dignity.
It may feel counterintuitive, but pushing people away or belittling others often makes them more entrenched in their beliefs and more convinced their actions are right, even when those beliefs are harmful. Research in social psychology shows that when people feel attacked, shamed, or ostracized, they don’t usually pause and reflect; they defend. Challenges to deeply held beliefs are experienced as threats to identity, which activates a defensive response where people double down, justify their behavior, and reinterpret evidence in ways that protect their sense of being “good” or “right.”
Social movement leaders understood this counterintuitive psychology that demeaning others often strengthens their convictions rather than weakening them. This is why alienation often backfires. When people feel dehumanized or cast out, they are less open to accountability and more likely to cling to rigid narratives that justify harm. Connection doesn’t guarantee change, but disconnection almost guarantees resistance. That’s what makes love-led resistance feel so uncomfortable and counterintuitive. It asks us to stay rooted, human, and principled even when every instinct tells us to push away. But if the goal is transformation rather than domination, how we confront injustice matters just as much as the fact that we do.
Yes, this is incredibly hard, especially if you are directly affected. Fear is loud. Anger spreads fast. Both seize our attention because they signal that something is wrong.
But when our emotions and actions are fueled from a place of purpose, protection, clarity, change, and love, that is what gives our frustrations direction. It tells us who we are fighting for, why we are fighting, and what lines we refuse to cross in the process.
So what does it actually look like to lead and resist from a place of love?
It isn’t staying passive, polite, or neutral. It’s organized, disciplined, and often uncomfortable. It's how elephants operate against threats - they don’t simply comfort one another, they reposition. The vulnerable are shielded and the group faces outward, toward the danger. Protection requires coordination, restraint, and a willingness to absorb pressure for the sake of others.
That same discipline shows up in movements that actually change history. King did not preach love as an abstract feeling or a call to harmony at all costs. He paired love with strategies like boycotts, marches, sit-ins, and civil disobedience to disrupt unjust systems while refusing to dehumanize the people within them. Love, for him, was not softness. It was restraint under pressure and clarity under attack.
This is also similar to Mandela’s leadership. He resisted, organized, and endured imprisonment - and when power finally shifted, he used it to prevent the country from tearing itself apart. He understood that humiliating former oppressors would not create a stable future and that it would deepen fear and justify further violence. Accountability mattered, but so did preserving a shared humanity.
King and Mandela are two of many leaders whose movements still offer instruction as we protest today. I encourage looking into and beyond these two figures to study other social movements as well, especially this month. In doing so, we can learn how different movements navigated power struggles while staying benevolent.
Standing up from a place of love means choosing actions that actually protect people. It means creating ways to handle our negative emotions without letting it turn into cruelty. It also means speaking up even when it’s uncomfortable, and holding people accountable without humiliating them. It means resisting in ways that expand our moral ground rather than shrink it.
So be like elephants. When fear rises, don’t scatter. Gather and move with intention.
Love does not mean passivity; compassion does not mean compliance; and dignity does not mean silence.
Love is choosing to resist and fighting for justice without letting fear decide who we become or surrendering our humanity
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #12
Every year, we say some version of the same thing: “This is going to be my year.”
And we mean it. We picture momentum, confidence, discipline, and fulfillment as we imagine a more ideal version of ourselves. But then life happens. Deadlines pile up. Relationships demand attention. Old habits creep back in. And suddenly, it’s December again. Instead of pride, we’re left wondering where the time went and what went wrong.
The issue isn’t motivation. Think about everything you did manage to show up for this past year. You kept commitments. You handled responsibilities. You made it through hard things.
The real problem is that many of us chase an idealized outcome with a roadmap that does not fit our lives - or worse, we don't have a roadmap at all.
We know what the end result should look like, but not how to get there, so we try the first strategy that comes to mind. When it doesn’t work, we interpret that failure as a personal flaw and then quit. On top of that, we rarely define what success actually looks like in our own lives for us, not influencers, friends, or productivity gurus.
So instead of moving forward blindly, let’s try something different.
Let’s reverse engineer 2026.
Start by defining what success means to you. Not the perfectionist version, not the socially impressive one, and not what the media is telling you. Set your own standards.
What small amount of progress will genuinely leave you satisfied? What’s the gap between where you are now and where you’d feel proud to land?
Now imagine it’s the end of 2026.
Assume the year went as well as it realistically could have (knowing it probably wasn’t perfect). What did you actually do to get there?
For this article, let’s use a simple example: reading more books.
Spoiler alert: it’s rarely as simple as “read one book a month by spending two hours every weekend reading.”
As helpful as SMART goals are (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound), I've found they don’t fully reflect how change actually happens. They give structure, but they often ignore the distractions, fatigue, setbacks, and unpredictability inherent in life.
In other words, a perfectly written goal does not account for the human part of being human.
That’s why I believe in reverse engineering goals paired with experimentation. Instead of asking what you want to achieve, reverse engineering asks how you would have realistically succeeded, accounting for obstacles and trade-offs along the way.
SMART goals tell you where you want to go. Reverse engineering helps you figure out how to get there when things don’t go as planned.
(Side note: if you haven’t read Atomic Habits by James Clear, it’s has many great tools to help with with this mindset.)
Step 1: Imagine how you would have succeeded
How many books? How did you actually read them? Mornings? Weekends? Before bed? Audiobooks while walking? During lunch? Binge them in one week? Two chapters every week?
This step isn’t about finding the perfect method, but rather, it’s about identifying a starting strategy that feels realistic and appealing to your lifestyle. Brainstorm several options, then pick the one you’re most excited to try first or believe is the most realistic.
Step 2: Anticipate obstacles
Life does not happen in a vacuum. There are always lifestyle factors or situations pulling at your attention.
Do you have kids or pets competing for your attention? Do you default to doomscrolling? Do friends constantly ask you to go out? Do evenings drain you more than you expect?
This is also where trade-offs become unavoidable. Every meaningful goal requires giving something up, even temporarily. Reading more might mean less TV. Career growth might mean fewer spontaneous nights out. Bonding with family and friends might mean accepting slower progress in another area of your life.
There is always a cost. The question isn’t whether trade-offs exist, it’s whether you’re willing to choose them intentionally instead of pretending they don’t exist.
Ask yourself if these obstacles and trade-offs are manageable or will they consistently derail progress. If they will, that doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means the strategy needs adjusting.
Which brings us to the final, most important step.
Step 3: Experiment (a lot)
Anything meaningful almost never works on the first try. Entire books have been written dedicated to this, such as Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth , and Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell.
You have to fail, adjust, and try again. Learn what doesn’t work for you. Each iteration isn’t wasted effort, it’s data. Data that helps you understand why something did or didn't work so the next attempt can be intentionally different.
Ideas alone do nothing without action. And I’ll be the first to admit this is something I struggle with. In my personal life, I love thinking, planning, and refining ideas so much that sometimes action gets delayed.
But action only matters when it’s intentional. Mindless busyness isn’t the goal. Reflection and experimentation are.
So this year, try things, many things, and fail a lot. Intentionally.
Reverse engineering your goals boils down to three steps:
Imagine how you would have succeeded
Anticipate obstacles
Experiment (a lot)
Real change comes from conscious thinking, leading to trying new actions (or stopping old ones), which requires constant failing, adjusting, and experimenting until something finally fits your life.
Reverse engineered goals are simple in theory, exhausting in practice, and completely worth it.
But before wrapping up, I’d like to share one last thing that has tremendously: accountability.
Some of the hardest habits I have created or stopped happened when someone else was in the trenches with me - encouraging me, calling me out, and reminding me why I started. When you don’t have that person, sometimes you have to create one. With these monthly posts, I've made you (my connections) my accountability partner. I highly recommend checking out Diana Kander for why we should never goal alone.
So as you step into 2026, reverse engineer it. Be practical, but more importantly, be willing to experiment, a lot. Do things, and learn from that doing.
You don’t need a flawless plan, you don’t need the New Year motivation to last forever, and you don’t need to overhaul your entire life.
All you need is one place in your life to start enacting change. One thing to try or stop. One experiment, even if it fails.
Because living on purpose doesn’t mean controlling everything. It means refusing to live unconsciously.
So if this is the year you want to look back and say, “Yeah… I showed up for myself,” don’t ask what you want to achieve. Instead, ask: How will I get there, knowing I will mess up, adapt, and try again along the way?
The goal isn’t perfection, it’s constant adaptation.
If this article helped you think differently about 2026, share it with a loved one or someone you’d like to reverse engineer the year with and help keep you accountable. And if you’re up for it, name one goal you’re committing to experiment with this year - no perfection required.
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #11
As we wrap up the year, I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea that we have to become the "best" or "better version" of ourselves.
While it’s a beautiful goal, it can also cause unintended harm. I learned the hard way that you can lose yourself while chasing an idealized version of who you think you should be.
For a long time, I treated “self-improvement” like a checklist of everything I believed was wrong with me. If I’m honest, a lot of my motivation came from fear - fear of disappointing people, fear of not being enough, fear of staying the version of myself I didn’t like. Improvement felt like a race I could never win.
And the wild thing is that even when I did grow, I didn't feel proud of it. Because when we start from self-hatred, even success can look like failure. We become so focused on our flaws that we can't see our progress.
At some point, I realized something simple but extremely uncomfortable: You cannot shame yourself into becoming the person you want to be.
Just like you can’t yell at a flower to make it grow or punish a tree into blooming, you can’t bully yourself into evolution.
What you can do is treat yourself with the same patience and love you’d offer someone you care about by meeting yourself where you are, nurturing your own becoming, and trusting that you will grow.
Growth rooted in fear pulls you away from yourself and eventually collapses.
Growth rooted in love deepens your connection to yourself and becomes sustainable.
What changed everything for me was deciding to treat myself the same that I treat the people I care about — with patience, curiosity, compassion, and love. Once I started doing that, discipline stopped feeling like punishment. It became a reflection of what I believe I deserve.
And that shift made growth feel less like climbing a collapsing wall, and more like hiking a trail where the effort has purpose and the views along the way remind you of why the climb is beautiful.
So, as the year ends, I hope you don’t chase a “better version” of yourself just to escape who you are now or to meet expectations that were never yours to begin with. I hope you take care of the version of you that exists right now, because that’s the part of you that has been trying, learning, surviving, and growing all along.
Self-improvement doesn’t begin with fixing yourself. It begins with loving yourself enough to want to grow.
Reflective Questions:
What part of you needs compassion going into the new year? Are your resolutions trying to fix you, or support you? Are they rooted in fear or love?
Live With Purpose On Purpose – #10
I don’t know where I’ll be a year from now, and honestly, it’s petrifying. But what I do know is that I’ll have people I can call, mentors I can lean on, and friends who will support me through whatever comes next.
Whenever I’ve gone through major life changes, like transitioning from high school to college or taking a leave of absence, I’ve leaned into my relationships. Both new and old connections have guided and supported me through each transition.
Sometimes the hardest part of moving forward is the fear of getting it wrong. With so many possible directions, I find myself searching for the “right” one, afraid that a single misstep could alter the future I imagine. Yet, what has been holding me back isn’t failure itself, but the possibility of success and the idea of chasing something so big that its reality feels almost too much to handle.
That fear can easily turn into paralysis.
Unfortunately, I’m not here to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do or how to navigate it. Well… because I’m still figuring it out myself.
What has been helping me move forward, however, is solely focusing on the next small step and knowing who will still be there after all is said and done — the people who remind me of who I am when I start to forget.
I’ve realized that investing in relationships isn’t just about connection in the present; it’s about preparing for the future. It’s kind of like a preventative measure, where we build a safety net that is made of trust, empathy, and understanding. Because no matter how strong we are, we’ll all face moments of doubt, uncertainty, or exhaustion. And in those moments, it’s the people around us who help us stand back up, think clearly, and continue forward with purpose.
Life will always bring transitions - some exciting, and others painful. But none of us are meant to go through them alone. Whether it’s one year from now, five years from now, or ten years from now, the relationships you nurture today will become the anchors that guide you through the unknowns of tomorrow.
Reflective challenge:
Who are the people you’re intentionally investing in right now? How can you continue to foster those connections so they become a source of strength when your path ahead feels unclear?
Live With Purpose On Purpose – #9
Have you ever been at a crossroads in life with so many options in front of you that instead of moving forward, you froze?
That was me three years ago this month. I was on a leave of absence, sitting on the curb during my college’s homecoming parade, feeling the weight of too many choices. I wanted to do everything - find the right job, pick up new hobbies, chase every opportunity. But I also knew I couldn’t keep running myself into the ground like I had been for years. Learning balance was the whole reason I stepped away in the first place.
And then a stranger sat down next to me.
We started talking, realizing we shared connections even though our paths had never crossed. At one point, she casually gave me an analogy that completely shifted my perspective and consequently, my life.
She told me life is like an infinite hallway filled with doors. Each door is an opportunity. Not walking through one today does not mean it is locked forever. Some are closed or ajar, but they're not always locked. You can revisit them when the time is right. What matters is choosing the door that fits who you are now, and who your future self will thank you for becoming.
That idea changed everything. I had been stretching myself thin, trying to keep every door open at once, like Mister Fantastic from the Fantastic Four. I thought if I didn’t do it all right away, I’d lose my chance forever. But the truth is, there’s power in simplicity, and freedom in choosing one path.
By choosing one path, you give yourself the chance to go deeper instead of spreading yourself thin. When you try to do everything, pieces fall apart and nothing gets the attention it deserves. Life turns into a checklist of finishing and accomplishing rather than a journey of growing, learning, and exploring with intention. In focused pursuits, you often find momentum, clarity, and new opportunities - sometimes even better than the ones you thought you had to keep open.
That same message came back to me recently at the Nordic Business Forum, when I heard Rick Rubin say, “Tune into yourself, move towards what feels right.” He reminded us to let go of outside expectations and trust the quiet voice within. It’s the same lesson of not forcing every door. Listen, choose, and move forward with intention.
So if you ever feel paralyzed by options, pause and ask: which choice would my future self thank me for? And which one will allow me to show up fully in all aspects of my life? Pick one path and let go of unneeded commitments. Trust that the other doors won’t disappear, and that new ones will appear along the way. You can always pivot if needed.
And to the stranger, Lydia Ciafre - whether you remember that sidewalk conversation or not - thank you. Your words became a compass for how I choose to say no to certain things so I can give a stronger yes to others.
Reflective challenge: What’s a moment when advice from a stranger shifted how you see life?
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #8
Familiar doesn’t always mean easy. Even when we know what to expect, it still takes time to adjust.
Change is inevitable. Environments shift, relationships evolve, jobs come and go. Sometimes these transitions feel exciting, other times like someone is pulling the rug out from under us. When we’re placed in a new setting - even one we’ve been in before - it’s like stepping into a new game with unfamiliar rules. Who we see changes, routines stop working, and conversations we relied on feel different. It can feel like losing part of ourselves.
I notice this most when I move between two places I know well: home and college. You’d think that as a senior, the shift would be seamless, but it never is. At college, my days are loose, I’m interacting whenever I walk outside, and there are constant deadlines. At home, life slows down, relationships have a different rhythm, and expectations change. Neither place is better; they’re just different games with different rules. Each time I go back and forth, I have to recalibrate my expectations because my role and what each place draws out of me shifts.
That recalibration is where resilience shows up. Not instantly, but gradually. We rewire ourselves to match the environment we’re in. Our brains allow us to adapt and create new pathways in response to different settings. Even when the transition feels disorienting, we eventually find our footing.
I’ve seen this play out again and again. Each time I’ve stepped into a new role or encountered change, it always starts with fumbling in the dark. The routines I counted on dissolve, and for a while I feel off-balance. But slowly, expectations adapt, new habits form, and sometimes I uncover strengths I didn’t notice before. You’ve likely lived this too, like the first week of a new job, moving to a new city, or navigating a shift in a close relationship. At first, it’s overwhelming. But with time, you adjusted, not by erasing what came before, but by building something new in the present.
What makes these moments harder is forcing ourselves to “be happy” and live in a dream world. Instead, remembering what we have now, or once had, can help. Research in positive psychology suggests that people who focus on what remains meaningful or within their control during transitions report higher resilience and faster adjustment. That doesn’t minimize the difficulty; it anchors us while we learn the new rules of the game.
The question isn’t whether change will come (because it always will) but how we’ll meet it. You don’t need everything figured out the moment things shift. You only need to keep showing up, recalibrating, and remembering what’s already within reach.
Because resilience isn’t perfection or permanent positivity. It’s giving yourself permission to fumble, to adjust, and to begin again. You’ve done it before, and you’ll do it again. Every change you’ve survived, no matter how hard, is proof that you can survive the next.
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #7
Stop chasing the dandelions. There are roses right in front of you, ready for you to smell.
Lately, I’ve caught myself doing something I’ve done most of my life: chasing. Chasing the next task, version of myself, or even opportunity. Always looking toward the future and thinking about how to get there; often forgetting to look around.
Maybe you’ve felt that too?
It’s easy to get swept up in the “what’s next.” Most of the world revolves around constant improvement, endless options, and pursuing dreams. And that’s not always a bad thing. But while we’re busy reaching for the dandelions blowing in the wind, we miss the roses right in front of us. Ready to be noticed and appreciated.
To be clear, I’m not saying to stop dreaming. That’s what I thought I had to do - lower my expectations. Doing that only caused more resentment and frustration. So dream big. Be ambitious. Just don’t let it blind you to the beauty of now.
This moment, whether messy, imperfect, or ordinary, might be one you’ll look back on someday and wish you could relive. We don’t get to rewind time. But we do get to decide how present we are in it.
And yes, life isn’t always easy. Some challenges are annoyances. Others shake us to our core and make us question everything. Yet, even the moments we thought we’d never get through can help shape us. There’s so much power in honoring both the wins and the resilience it took to make it where you are now.
I’ve been learning (slowly) that gratitude isn’t just a trendy buzzword to pretend things are perfect. It’s a tool to ground ourselves in today’s reality. Gratitude means recognizing what is still beautiful, still meaningful, and still worth holding close - especially considering what we’ve fought to overcome.
So no, I’m not living my dream life just yet. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t already have a lot to be thankful for. The people, moments, setbacks, even the rough periods that have built me. I can hold my aspirations for the future and still appreciate where I am, knowing this chapter will only happen once.
You don’t need everything to be perfect to appreciate it. Today is already perfectly imperfect. It’s filled with growth, messiness, relationships, and meaning. So find something to recognize about the season you’re in.
Like Andy Bernard said in The Office:
“I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”
Turns out, it’s called being present and grateful. This phase you’re in will never happen twice.
Live today like your 90-year-old self is watching. Because one day, they’ll look back on this version of you with the people you loved, the risks you took, the quiet mornings, the messy progress and wish they could feel it all again.
Smell the roses. They’re here.
Reflective Challenge:
What is something you’re grateful for that puts you in the present moment?
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #6
Stop for a moment.
Take a deep breath in. Hold. And release.
Now do it again, just for 10 seconds.
The ability to regularly pause and sit in silence is becoming rarer. We multitask through everything - scrolling while watching a movie, checking our phones mid-conversation, and bouncing between tasks to keep up with the pressure of always being “on.” We chase stimulation without even realizing it.
Many of us can relate to the urge of checking our phones during a conversation. But when we’re on the receiving end of that action, we know it doesn’t feel good. And yet, we all still do it. Research even shows that simply glancing at our phone during a conversation drops the level of connectedness the other person feels.
I’m guilty of this too. I’ve caught myself drifting, even when talking to someone I care about. It’s not about bad intentions. It’s about ingrained habits. And like any habit, it takes conscious effort to shift.
Silence is powerful. Not just in how we speak, but in how we live. A brief pause before responding in a conversation can show someone that you’re truly listening. A few slow breaths before jumping into the next task can help you act with clarity instead of impulse.
Sometimes, asking yourself a simple question can shift things:
“Do I actually want to take this on, or am I doing it because I feel like I should?”
Are you being intentional or reactive? Do you have the capacity? Are you okay with the trade-offs?
I’ll be honest, I haven’t been great at this lately (which is why I chose to write about it this month). I’ve been telling myself that life is just too busy and that there’s always something more to do. But the truth is, I do have control over the small moments in my day. And those small moments can lead to bigger changes over time.
Unfortunately, this isn’t a magical fix - very few things are. It’s like brushing your teeth or working out: simple, repeated actions that, over time, lead to lasting benefits.
It doesn’t take a lot of effort; it takes intentionality. You don’t need a full meditation session. Some of the most meaningful changes in well-being, focus, and decision-making come from these micro-moments.
Mindful pauses help regulate emotions, improve listening, reduce burnout, and remind us we’re not machines. We’re human.
So next time you’re overwhelmed, mid-convo, or stuck on autopilot, remember:
There is strength in stillness and presence in the pause.
And the smallest moments, especially when approached with intention, can help us live our lives more full, purposeful, and aligned with what matters most.
Reflective Challenge:
Take one (or more) intentional 30-second pause today before replying to a message or jumping into your next task. Just breathe and notice how you feel. Have your actions been aligned with your values or who you want to be?
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #5
“What’s the point of life?”
I’ve been in several conversations where someone has asked me this - usually joking, but also with a hint of curiosity. One day, without thinking much, I responded: “To live it with other people.” And honestly, I still believe that.
Since the beginning of human civilization, we’ve been wired for connection. We have always been tribal beings, where our survival and meaning were shaped by our bonds. And these connections weren’t limited to family. They extended to friends, neighbors, coworkers, and many others we encounter along the way.
We have the capacity to love deeply and diversely. Some people come into our lives like shooting stars - brief and beautiful. Others stay like constellations - steady, grounding, and always there to guide us. Many also come unexpectedly, entering our lives through chance encounters or chaotic moments.
Our lives are never linear. They twist and turn, rise and fall, and are filled with bumps, loops, and random detours that might aggravate us in the moment. And yet, along these paths, there are individuals and moments that stretch us, soften us, and help us grow.
Love. Amor. Liebe. любовь. 爱. حب.
Across cultures and languages, the idea of love takes on different forms, tones, and weights. But at its core, I think love is simply a deep appreciation for someone’s existence - regardless of their identity, for who they are, how they are, and the way they show up in our lives.
A quote I once heard, wrote down, and that has stuck with me:
“Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting they won't use it.”
There’s vulnerability in love - and vulnerability is courage. We open ourselves to certain people not because we expect something in return, but because we believe the connection is worth any hardships we might endure - even the pain experienced when it ends.
The truth is: we won’t get to hold onto everyone forever. Life moves, people drift, and time runs its course. But what we can do is purposefully make space for our loved ones and appreciate the immense impact they’ve had on our lives. Schedule time to cherish the moments we have them: their presence, their laughter, the long talks, the shared silence, and all of the little memories that slowly build a life that feels full.
In the end, the point of life isn’t just to keep chasing the next career milestone. It’s to make intentional time and space for connection, presence, and love. Because these moments are the milestones. And they’re the ones that matter most.
Connection Challenge:
Over the next two weeks try one of the following:
- Schedule a walk, meal, or catch-up call with someone who’s been on your mind
- Write a note or text to someone just to say you appreciate them
- Reflect on someone who’s shaped your life and tell them while you still can
Make the time. The little moments are the big ones.
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #4
"Be where your feet are." – The Prophet Muhammad
In a world that never stops moving, it’s easy to get caught in the rush. The endless to-do lists. The pressure to hit the next big goal. The constant worry of whether we’re achieving “enough.”
Or we get stuck replaying the past - the thing we wish we said differently, the moment we want to redo, the opportunity that slipped away.
But where are we right now?
It isn’t just about being present. It’s about fully showing up to your own life. It calls us back to this breath, this step, this moment - and to recognize the beauty already here.
Not yesterday.
Not tomorrow.
But now.
When we live stuck in the past or bracing for the future, we miss the only place life actually happens: here.
How often do we half-listen to conversations because our minds are racing with the day’s tasks? How often do we eat while scrolling, walk while texting, show up physically but drift away mentally? Worse yet, how often do we pack our schedules so tightly that we rush through the moments we were meant to savor?
Presence has quietly become a lost art.
This is especially true in seasons of change. As graduation season approaches, many students worry about the unknowns ahead instead of soaking in the beauty of where they are now. We mourn future goodbyes before they even arrive. We let fear rob us of the gift of now.
But the future will be ready when we get there. It always is.
The real question is: Will we be ready to leave this moment behind?
When we allow ourselves to be where our feet are, time slows. Small moments like a conversation, a sunset, or even a laugh become treasures. We notice the trees blooming, the clouds drifting, the beat of our hearts. And we realize life moves forward no matter how much we do or don't accomplish.
Being present isn’t always easy. It asks us to break the addiction to constant achievement, distractions, and “what’s next.” It asks us to sit with the moment as it is without trying to fix, rush, or escape it.
Presence doesn’t ask us to do more, but rather, it invites us to notice more.
Whether you’re celebrating, grieving, building, healing, or simply breathing - anchor yourself here. Not to run from the future, but to build a stronger foundation for it.
In ten years, our lives will look completely different.
We only live once, which means we only get to experience everything once.
If you’re in a good moment, savor it.
If you’re in a hard one, trust it won’t last forever and feel it.
And if you’re somewhere in between, which most of life is, simply befriend the present.
Life doesn’t start someday.
It’s happening right here.
Right now.
Where your feet are.
Personal Challenge:
Pause for 15 seconds here and there to capture small, beautiful moments - whether in nature, people, or everyday life. At night, read your list and remember the extraordinary often lives in the ordinary.
Live On Purpose With Purpose – #3
"Life is suffering." – The Buddha
Ever since hearing this quote from Dr. Jeffery Long, it has stuck with me like a quiet voice in the back of my mind, especially when life feels overwhelming. But the Buddha wasn’t being cynical. Life is always changing, and we, as humans, resist that. We crave stability. So when change inevitably shows up, we often experience it as suffering.
Take COVID, for example. That time was full of challenges, but what really stands out is how fast everything kept shifting. We were constantly forced to adapt. Plans changed. Expectations changed. Life changed.
But if we zoom out, change has always been there.
As kids, every year brought something new – grades, classrooms, teachers, routines. Even with all that practice, change never felt easy. Those awkward first days were mostly filled with anxiety.
Then adulthood hits. We leave behind that structure and step into building careers, relationships, habits, and lives. And surprise: that brings even more change. New jobs. New cities. New phases of identity we didn’t see coming.
This applies to businesses too. Companies that resist change fall behind. It’s not just strategy, it’s biology. “Survival of the fittest” isn’t about strength, but adaptability. While evolution may rely on random mutations, humans have something more powerful: choice. We can shift our mindset, reshape habits, take creative risks, and evolve – on purpose, with purpose.
Life will always give us change – heartbreaks, detours, growing pains, moments of doubt. And while those moments are hard, they’re also evidence that growth is happening. That’s why I say life gives us change. It’s a gift, even if wrapped in discomfort.
Change invites us to examine how we live. It challenges our values, stretches our perspectives, and shapes us into more compassionate, resilient humans. It’s not something to fear or resent, yet that’s our first instinct. It’s something to befriend, or at least learn from. And if you’re in a season where change feels overwhelming, remember: you’ve made it through 100% of your hardest days. That’s a flawless record.
Some say what you’re not changing, you’re choosing. So lean into the discomfort. Let it stretch you, teach you, shape you. Stay open, creative, adaptable. Don’t just have a growth mindset, have an infinite one.
I don’t claim to have all the answers. But I do know this: leaning into change – even when uncomfortable – has always led me to places I wouldn’t trade for anything. The Buddha said life is suffering, but maybe that’s only when we resist the inevitable. The world will keep changing, so learn to dance with it. Move with purpose. Stay curious. And trust that when you stop fighting change, life becomes a journey worth dancing through.
Reflective Challenge:
Who might you become if you leaned into change instead of fearing it? Visualize what that would look like in practice.
Live On Purpose With Purpose - #2
What If You Stopped Holding Yourself Back?
The easiest way to avoid getting hurt is to not take action at all. If we don’t put ourselves out there, we can’t fail, right? But we also can't succeed.
From a young age, we’re taught that rewards push us to act, while consequences and fear keep us from doing so. If we’re afraid of what might go wrong, it’s often easier to stay where we are - safe, unchallenged, and stagnant.
But why do we stop ourselves from living the life we want because of the “what ifs”?
We hesitate, freeze, and hold ourselves back not because we’re incapable but because we’re conditioned to avoid failure. But failure isn’t the enemy. Inaction is. All definitions of failure assume action has taken place. Inaction differs from failure because it is never giving ourselves a chance to fail or succeed.
Our brains are wired to favor inaction when we anticipate negative consequences. If we expect failure, our brain triggers a “no-go” signal, freezing us into complacency. This is why we hesitate. It’s not that we can’t act, but rather our brains are working to keep us still and avoid consequences.
But here’s the thing: this same mechanism works in reverse. When we anticipate rewards, our brain generates a “go” signal, pushing us forward. Research shows positive reinforcement is more effective than fear-based motivation. Rewards create momentum and fear keeps us stuck. Taking action, even when scared, however, builds confidence and makes future risks feel less daunting.
So why do we focus more on potential downfalls than on potential triumphs? Because we’re wired to overestimate risks and underestimate rewards.
Instead of thinking about everything that could go wrong, what if we replaced it with thinking about what could go right? Let’s flip the script. What if I fail, learn, and a better opportunity opens up? What if stepping outside my comfort zone helps me grow? What if my dreams could become a reality?
We see others take risks and sometimes fail, stopping with no reward. We also see others succeed and wonder if we’re capable of the same. Instead of letting someone else’s journey convince us to stay put, we should support each other’s ambitions, cheer each other on, and take the leap ourselves.
Research shows that our actions influence those around us, and vice versa. When we see others take risks, it encourages us to do the same. By taking steps toward our goals, we create a ripple effect.
Some of the best things in life happen when we step into the unknown, and it all starts with action.
So chase your dreams. Feel the fear and do it scared. Fall. Get up. Keep going. Say yes to things that make you come alive. What’s the best that could happen?
You have absolutely nothing to lose except what you allow yourself to.
Reflective Challenge
When did you push past fear, take a leap, and have it lead to something amazing?
Live On Purpose With Purpose - #1
During a recent event I attended, I was fortunate to meet many students who are deeply engaged in their communities - almost to the point their dedication becomes a burden. In one conversation with fellow overachievers, I shared a thought: we shouldn’t have to “overachieve” to prove ourselves. Simply achieving should be enough.
In today’s culture, there’s an unspoken expectation that we should always be busy, and if we’re not, then we are somehow wasting our time. Productivity has become the gold standard for worth, making rest feel like a guilty indulgence rather than a necessity.
But this constant busyness denies us the chance to rest, be bored, and truly reflect on how we’re living. When we let ourselves be bored, we start thinking more deeply, connecting the dots between what we've learned and experienced, and tapping into our creativity. An analogy I heard a while ago explains it well: our conscious mind can work with two feet of information, while our bored, subconscious mind can tap into two acres of information.
Not only that, but having unstructured time allows us to be intentionally present in our relationships. It’s in the quiet moments, the spontaneous check-ins, and the space between commitments that can help us deepen our connections with others. If we’re constantly stretched thin, we risk becoming too exhausted to show up fully for the people who matter most.
We don’t need to pursue a plethora of activities or achievements to feel accomplished. It’s far more meaningful to do a few things really well rather than spreading ourselves so thin that we’re left depleted. After talking with those fellow overachievers, I realized (after being bored) that true achievement includes giving ourselves permission to breathe, to be present, and to invest in what genuinely lights us up inside.
Personal Reflective Challenge:
When was the last time you allowed yourself to be fully present - no distractions, no rushing, just being? What are three things you do that make your heart feel most alive? How can you take something off your plate to prioritize more boredom and fulfillment?