A letter from your therapist

Come on in,

I'm so glad you are here.

I know it's a lot

and the fact that you’ve made it

is more than most people do.

Doing something new is scary.

We don’t know each other yet.

And to be honest,

I'm a little nervous too.

So let’s take a few breaths.

Sit wherever you’d like…

the chair

the couch

even the floor,

whatever feels best.

Move that pillow or blanket,

out of the way

or hold it against your chest.

If you like to have something in your hands,

there are many fidgets to try.

Feel free to grab a snack

or coffee or tea,

whatever you might need

…to just be.

In this room,

you get to simply be you,

so come as you are,

happy or sad,

embarrassed or mad,

you don’t have to hold back.

See,

this office is a time machine,

so tell me WHEN you’d like to go.

We can bounce ideas around this writers room

until you find something that resonates with you.

Let’s set up the stage

and rehearse as many times as you need.

But therapy doesn't have to be talking…

It can be singing or dancing or walking.

It can be listening to music 

or doing or showing your art

or simply sitting in silence…

when it feels like it’s all fallen apart.

We can pick up the pieces 

and do a puzzle

or play a game.

We can rip up papers 

and punch pillows

and express emotion 

without shame.

I will never be able to fully walk in your shoes,

but

if you'll let me,

I'll try them on for size,

and walk beside you

as a fellow traveler

in this thing we call life.

I see you.

I hear you.

I understand you.

I accept you.

You. make. sense.

You are not crazy or lazy.

Existing

is 

hard.

You might not be sure how you feel.

There might be words you’ve never spoken.

But you don't need to be fixed

because 

you. are. not. broken.

You may wonder what I think

or are afraid of being judged.

You might worry you are too much

or feel too uncertain.

But…

I am here.

I can handle it.

You. are. not. a. burden.

Therapy 

is 

hard…

and uncomfortable

and weird

and sometimes…awkward.

It is totally normal

to have strange dreams or thoughts

or impulses or fears

to feel like everything is so unclear.

To have fantasies or desires

to even think about death

or feel out of control,

to not know who you are

or if you’ll ever feel whole.

You will probably to go back and forth

between feeling better and worse

because healing is not a straight line

and can take a very long time.

I don't have all the answers…

or any answers really…

Unfortunately, 

I'm just a human 

and sometimes I'm a mess.

I get anxious and depressed

and struggle with PTSD.

I don't always practice what I preach.

I forget to breathe.

I throw coping skills out the window

and don’t know what to do.

…I’ll let you in on a little secret,

therapists need therapists too.

I don't do this work for the money.

I don’t pretend to care for a check.

I have to make a living

but know that this is what I choose

because I really want to know

what it is like to be you.

I’ll feel happy for your wins

and proud of your accomplishments.

I’ll feel sad when things go wrong

or you are grieving a loss.

I’ll feel angry at your mom

or your dad

or your boss

or your ex.

Yes, I want to read the texts

and see pictures of your pets.

Show me that tiktok or video

that helped you understand or connect.

Let’s celebrate every single boundary you set.

Also,

if I give you homework or suggestions,

you never have to do them.

There are no grades

and I will not be disappointed or petty

because 

at the end of the day,

you know what is best for you

and you’ll do it when you are ready.

Sometimes, therapy sucks

and you won't want to come.

So, either come anyways and we can work with what we’ve got,

or…not…

Just let me know at least a day in advance

so I have a chance to adjust.

Because I get it,

I also have good and bad days,

or show up even when I’m under the weather.

So sometimes I feel relieved by a cancellation or two,

but…sometimes…

talking to YOU

makes ME feel better.

I think of you between sessions,

wonder how the date or interview went,

worry if you were able to pay rent

or get your needs met.

I might even see you out in the wild

but I won't say anything

out of respect for your privacy.

Though if you want to, 

you are always welcome to say hi to me.

I want to know what you really think.

I know honesty is hard,

but I want your feedback.

If I said something that upset you

or got it all wrong 

or you want to quit

or it doesn't feel like a good fit.

Perhaps I’m too young or too old,

too gentle or too bold,

I promised I won't be offended.

Safety and trust are a must.

I’ve been in your seat

across from therapists I ended up loving or hating.

ya know…it’s funny…

But finding the right therapist

is kind of like dating.

Let’s take it slow,

get to know each other more,

talk about your goals,

and techniques we can explore.

You made it here.

In a lot of ways,

that can be the hardest part.

So,

no rush.

Take your time.

And whenever you're ready.

tell me where you'd like to start.