Research and our collective lived experience -- from both the client chair and the therapist chair -- show that the one thing that makes the biggest difference in whether or not counselling/therapy is "successful" or helpful is the relationship between the client and counsellor/therapist.
While the relationship makes a bigger difference than theoretical approach or modality, theoretical approach and modality can still tell you a bit about how someone thinks and what their values are. This can be really important, especially for people from marginalised or minority backgrounds.
If it's important to you that a potential counsellor/therapist has a particular background or experience, personally or professionally, it can help to look for someone through one of the specialty directories. I've linked to several here. Some of the resources I'll link to below can also guide you through some things to look for, or to ask potential therapists, to gauge this as well.
But after we've found one or a few therapists to screen, we usually have to decide after a first session if someone's a good match for us, which is a lot of pressure.
I recommend trusting your gut.
Does this person feel like someone you can talk to?
Did you feel pathologised or like they thought you're the problem in your life?
Did it seem like they think some aspect of your identity is a problem in your life?
Did you feel understood, or if not quite, did you feel like this person was interested in understanding your experience and perspective?
Did you feel supported in your strengths?
How did you feel after your initial session -- discouraged? hopeful? both? energised? tired? both?
Remember, someone can be a lovely person and a brilliant therapist and not be a right match for you. That's okay.
Sometimes we can't tell in one session -- maybe somebody's a good match, but you're not sure.
If that's the case, you can say you're not sure but you'd like to try working with them, and ask to contract for something like 3 sessions, or 6 sessions, with the aim of deciding together at that point if you want to continue to work together.
Working through hard things can be hard, and oftentimes it can feel like you're getting "worse" before you get "better." But even when it's hard, being with your therapist shouldn't make you feel worse about yourself as a person.
Here are also some resources below to help you think about what's helpful or unhelpful in working with a counsellor/therapist, how to assess what you're looking for, how to assess how it feels to be in a room (a physical room or an on-line room) with someone, etc.
Potentially useful for anybody, not only autistic people, in thinking about what might and might not work for you in counselling/therapy. You can then take this or the linked "passport" to a potential therapist, or someone you're already established with, to talk about what's helpful and not helpful.
More to come!