ShakesQueer

SCENE II

(Enter Romeo, who hides.)

(Enter Benvolio and Mercutio.)

BENVOLIO

Romeo, my cousin Romeo, Romeo!

MERCUTIO

She is wise

And, on my life, hath stol’n her home to bed.

BENVOLIO

She ran this way and leapt this orchard wall.

Call, good Mercutio.

MERCUTIO

Nay, I’ll conjure too.

Romeo! Humors! Madwoman! Passion! Lover!

Appear thou in the likeness of a sigh.

Speak but one rhyme and I am satisfied.

Cry but “Ay me,” pronounce but “love” and

“dove.”

I conjure thee by Roderigo’s bright eyes,

By his high forehead, and his scarlet lip,

By his fine foot, straight leg, and quivering thigh,

And the demesnes that there adjacent lie,

That in thy likeness thou appear to us.

BENVOLIO

An if she hear thee, thou wilt anger her.

MERCUTIO

This cannot anger her. ’Twould anger her

To raise a spirit in her paramour’s circle

Of some strange nature, letting it there stand

Till she had laid it and conjured it down.

That were some spite. My invocation

Is fair and honest. In her paramour’s name,

I conjure only but to raise up her.

BENVOLIO

Come, she hath hid herself among these trees

To be consorted with the humorous night.

Blind is her love and best befits the dark.

MERCUTIO

If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark.

Now will she sit under a medlar tree

And wish her paramour were that kind of fruit

As maids call medlars when they laugh alone.—

O Romeo, that she were, O, that she were

An open-arse, thou a pop’rin pear.

Romeo, good night. I’ll to my truckle bed;

This field-bed is too cold for me to sleep.—

Come, shall we go?

BENVOLIO

Go, then, for ’tis in vain

To seek her here that means not to be found.

(They exit.)

ROMEO

He jests at scars that never felt a wound.

(Enter Juliet above.)

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the East, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief

That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.

Be not her maid since she is envious.

Her vestal livery is but sick and green,

And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off.

It is my lady. O, it is my love!

O, that she knew she were!

She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?

Her eye discourses; I will answer it.

I am too bold. ’Tis not to me she speaks.

Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,

Having some business, do entreat her eyes

To twinkle in their spheres till they return.

What if her eyes were there, they in her head?

The brightness of her cheek would shame those

stars

As daylight doth a lamp; her eye in heaven

Would through the airy region stream so bright

That birds would sing and think it were not night.

See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.

O, that I were a glove upon that hand,

That I might touch that cheek!

JULIET Ay me.

ROMEO (aside)

She speaks.

O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art

As glorious to this night, being o’er my head,

As is a wingèd messenger of heaven.

JULIET

O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father and refuse thy name,

Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,

And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.

ROMEO (aside)

Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

JULIET

’Tis but thy name that is my enemy.

Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other word would smell as sweet.

So Romeo would, were she not Romeo called,

Retain that dear perfection which she owes

Without that title.

ROMEO

I take thee at thy word.

Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptized.

Henceforth I never will be Romeo.

JULIET

What man art thou that, thus bescreened in night,

So stumblest on my counsel?

ROMEO

By a name

I know not how to tell thee who I am.

My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself

Because it is an enemy to thee.

Had I it written, I would tear the word.

JULIET

My ears have yet not drunk a hundred words

Of thy tongue’s uttering, yet I know the sound.

Art thou not Romeo, and a Montague?

ROMEO

Neither, fair maid, if either thee dislike.

JULIET

How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?

The orchard walls are high and hard to climb,

And the place death, considering who thou art,

If any of my kinsmen find thee here.

ROMEO

With love’s light wings did I o’erperch these walls,

For stony limits cannot hold love out,

And what love can do, that dares love attempt.

Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me.

JULIET

If they do see thee, they will murder thee.

ROMEO

Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye

Than twenty of their swords.

I have night’s cloak to hide me from their eyes,

And, but thou love me, let them find me here.

My life were better ended by their hate

Than death delayed, wanting of thy love.

JULIET

Thou knowest the mask of night is on my face,

Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek

For that which thou hast heard me speak tonight.

Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say “Ay,”

And I will take thy word. Yet, if thou swear’st,

Thou mayst prove false. At lovers’ perjuries,

They say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo,

If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully.

Or, if thou thinkest I am too quickly won,

I’ll frown and be perverse and say thee nay,

So thou wilt woo, but else not for the world.

ROMEO

Lady, by yonder blessèd moon I vow,

That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops—

JULIET

O, swear not by the moon, th’ inconstant moon,

That monthly changes in her circled orb,

Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.

ROMEO

What shall I swear by?

JULIET

Do not swear at all.

Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,

Which is the god of my idolatry,

And I’ll believe thee.

ROMEO

If my heart’s dear love—

JULIET

Well, do not swear. Although I joy in thee,

I have no joy of this contract tonight.

It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden,

Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be

Ere one can say “It lightens.” Sweet, good night.

This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath,

May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.

Good night, good night. As sweet repose and rest

Come to thy heart as that within my breast.

ROMEO

O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?

JULIET

What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?

ROMEO

Th’ exchange of thy love’s faithful vow for mine.

JULIET

I gave thee mine before thou didst request it

And yet I would it were to give again.

ROMEO

Wouldst thou withdraw it? For what purpose, love?

JULIET

But to be frank and give it thee again.

And yet I wish but for the thing I have.

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,

My love as deep. The more I give to thee,

The more I have, for both are infinite.

Nurse calls from within.

I hear some noise within. Dear love, adieu.—

Anon, good nurse.—Sweet Montague, be true.

Stay but a little; I will come again.

(She exits.)

ROMEO

O blessèd, blessèd night! I am afeard,

Being in night, all this is but a dream,

Too flattering sweet to be substantial.

(Reenter Juliet above.)

JULIET

Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed.

If that thy bent of love be honorable,

Thy purpose marriage, send me word tomorrow,

By one that I’ll procure to come to thee,

Where and what time thou wilt perform the rite,

And all my fortunes at thy foot I’ll lay

And follow thee my lord throughout the world.

NURSE (within)

Madam.

JULIET

I come anon.—But if thou meanest not well,

I do beseech thee—

NURSE (within)

Madam.

JULIET

By and by, I come.—

To cease thy strife and leave me to my grief.

Tomorrow will I send.

ROMEO

So thrive my soul—

JULIET

A thousand times good night.

(She exits.)

ROMEO

A thousand times the worse to want thy light.

Love goes toward love as schoolboys from their

books,

But love from love, toward school with heavy looks.

Going.

(Enter Juliet above again.)

JULIET

Romeo.

ROMEO

My dear.

JULIET

What o’clock tomorrow

Shall I send to thee?

ROMEO

By the hour of nine.

JULIET

I will not fail. ’Tis twenty year till then.

I have forgot why I did call thee back.

ROMEO

Let me stand here till thou remember it.

JULIET

I shall forget, to have thee still stand there,

Rememb’ring how I love thy company.

ROMEO

And I’ll still stay, to have thee still forget,

Forgetting any other home but this.

JULIET

’Tis almost morning. I would have thee gone.

Good night, good night. Parting is such sweet

sorrow

That I shall say “Good night” till it be morrow.

(She exits.)

ROMEO

Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast.

Would I were sleep and peace so sweet to rest.

Hence will I to my ghostly friar’s close cell,

His help to crave, and my dear hap to tell.

(He exits.)

SCENE III

(Enter Mercutio and Benvolio.)

BENVOLIO

I pray thee, good Mercutio, let’s retire.

The day is hot, the Capels are abroad,

And if we meet we shall not ’scape a brawl,

For now, these hot days, is the mad blood stirring.

MERCUTIO

Thou art like one of these fellows that, when

he enters the confines of a tavern, claps me his

sword upon the table and says “God send me no

need of thee” and, by the operation of the second

cup, draws him on the drawer when indeed there is

no need.

BENVOLIO

Am I like such a fellow?

MERCUTIO

Come, come, thou art as hot a jack in thy

mood as any in Italy, and as soon moved to be

moody, and as soon moody to be moved.

BENVOLIO

And what to?

MERCUTIO

Nay, an’ there were two such, we should

have none shortly, for one would kill the other.

Thou—why, thou wilt quarrel with a man for cracking

nuts, having no other reason but because thou

hast hazel eyes. Thou hast

quarreled with a man for coughing in the street

because he hath wakened thy dog that hath lain

asleep in the sun. Didst thou not fall out with a tailor

for wearing his new doublet before Easter? With

another, for tying his new shoes with old ribbon?

And yet thou wilt tutor me from quarreling?

BENVOLIO

An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any

man should buy the fee simple of my life for an

hour and a quarter.

MERCUTIO

The fee simple? O simple!

(Enter Tybalt)

BENVOLIO

By my head, here comes a Capulet.

MERCUTIO

By my heel, I care not.

TYBALT

Gentlemen, good e’en. A word with one of you.

MERCUTIO

And but one word with one of us? Couple it

with something. Make it a word and a blow.

TYBALT

You shall find me apt enough to that, sir, an

you will give me occasion.

MERCUTIO

Could you not take some occasion without

Giving?

TYBALT

Mercutio, thou consortest with Romeo.

MERCUTIO

Consort? Zounds, consort!

BENVOLIO

We talk here in the public haunt of men.

Either withdraw unto some private place,

Or reason coldly of your grievances,

Or else depart. Here all eyes gaze on us.

MERCUTIO

Men’s eyes were made to look, and let them gaze.

I will not budge for no man’s pleasure, I.

(Enter Romeo.)

TYBALT

Well, peace be with you, sir. Here comes my man.

MERCUTIO

But I’ll be hanged, sir, if she wear your livery.

Marry, go before to field, she’ll be your follower.

Your Worship in that sense may call her “man.”

TYBALT

Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford

No better term than this: thou art a villain.

ROMEO

Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee

Doth much excuse the appertaining rage

To such a greeting. Villain am I none.

Therefore farewell. I see thou knowest me not.

TYBALT

Girl, this shall not excuse the injuries

That thou hast done me. Therefore turn and draw.

ROMEO

I do protest I never injured thee

But love thee better than thou canst devise

Till thou shalt know the reason of my love.

And so, good Capulet, which name I tender

As dearly as mine own, be satisfied.

MERCUTIO

O calm, dishonorable, vile submission!

Alla stoccato carries it away.

(He draws.)

Tybalt, you ratcatcher, will you walk?

TYBALT

What wouldst thou have with me?

MERCUTIO

Good king of cats, nothing but one of your

nine lives, that I mean to make bold withal, and, as

you shall use me hereafter, dry-beat the rest of the

eight. Will you pluck your sword out of his pilcher

by the ears? Make haste, lest mine be about your

ears ere it be out.

TYBALT

I am for you.

(He draws.)

ROMEO

Gentle Mercutio, put thy rapier up.

MERCUTIO

Come, sir, your passado.

(They fight.)

ROMEO

Draw, Benvolio, beat down their weapons.

(Romeo draws.)

Gentlemen, for shame forbear this outrage!

The Prince expressly hath

Forbid this bandying in Verona streets.

Hold, Tybalt! Good Mercutio!

(Romeo attempts to beat down their rapiers.)

(Tybalt stabs Mercutio.)

(Tybalt exits.)

MERCUTIO

I am hurt.

A plague o’ both houses! I am sped.

Is he gone and hath nothing?

BENVOLIO

What, art thou hurt?

MERCUTIO

Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch. Marry, ’tis enough.

ROMEO

Courage, man, the hurt cannot be much.

MERCUTIO

No, ’tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as

a church door, but ’tis enough. ’Twill serve. Ask for

me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man. A plague o’

both your houses! Zounds, a braggart, a rogue, a

villain that fights by the book of arithmetic! Why the

devil came you between us? I was hurt under your

Arm.

ROMEO

I thought all for the best.

MERCUTIO

Help me into some house, Benvolio,

Or I shall faint. A plague o’ both your houses!

They have made worms’ meat of me.

I have it, and soundly, too. Your houses!

(All exit.)