Intro

Growing up without a father was tough business. It was rough out there with no one watching my back and having to figure out most of my life on my own. Thankfully, the Lord took me in, became my Father, and welcomed me into His family where I've experienced His love even more. Recently, at my new job as a receptionist at church, the relationships of children with their fathers was brought to my attention. Our office is child-friendly, so it is common for colleagues to bring their children to work. On the surface these observations seem simple, but the Lord dug deep into my heart and showed me what I actually think of Him. So let's take a look at some of these observations!

Diary Entry No.1: "I'm your Timeout Zone"

21 June 2025
Dear Father,
Today a group of children were playing in the playground, and then the boys happened to anger one of the girls. I watched her swing on her heels and march right up to where her father was standing. She walked briskly, not speaking a single word. "If her face looks like that, then it means someone made her really angry," her father noticed. The boys followed behind her like little puppies begging to plead their case and prevent her from reporting them. But she remained determined. As soon as she reached her father, he ushered her away from the boys, not addressing them, but instead taking his girl aside so that she could cool off. I'm not sure what he said to his daughter, but after a couple of minutes, she returned to the playground as if nothing had happened. Immediately, I thought, "So he knows when his daughter is upset?"

Repentance:
It occurred to me that I was hiding my negative feelings away from God. And instead of running towards God, I pretended to be okay and have it all together. In all honesty, I did not realize that a simple, "Timeout, I've had enough!" was enough to get His attention, and that He was more than willing to take me aside to cool off. I did not realize that God does know when I get upset, even if it's about small things like the increasing price of Maynards' Winegums. I realized that I can, in fact call a timeout, march up to God and "tattle" on the enemy when he offends me:

8 Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity;

For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping.

9 The Lord has heard my supplication;

The Lord will receive my prayer.

10 Let all my enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled;

Let them turn back and be ashamed suddenly.
-Psalm 6:8-10

Diary Entry No 2: "You can call Me"

30 June 2025
Dear Father,
Over the past couple of days at work, a young boy has been coming to me asking to call his father on the phone. Usually, the boy asks to phone his father if he's somewhere on the premises but cannot be found. So I would dial his father's number, hand the boy the phone and they would speak briefly. The boy would ask, "Dad, where are you?" and his father would disclose his location. Immediately the boy would crack a smile and go off running to where his father said he could be found. Immediately I thought, "Why does he need to phone his father even though they are on the same premises? Does he really need to know exactly where his father is at every moment?"

Repentance:
I am a problem solver. I often resolve to solve every problem before I seek God. But why not just turn to the ultimate problem solver first? When I feel lost, why not call on God who is my reference point of assurance?

6 Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:
7 Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
-Isaiah 55:6-7

Diary Entry No.3:  "You can trust Me"

03 July 2025
Dear Father,
This week, the church has organized some activities for the children, so they were here every day. One of the children came to the office, asking to see his father because his father had promised to print something out for him. At the time, his father was in an important meeting and could not be disturbed. So I assured the boy that I would pass on the message as soon as his meeting ended. Nodding un-assuredly, the boy ran back to his activities. This happened two more times. After his father's meeting ended, I passed on the message as promised. As the boy's father was stepping into another meeting, he said he would print out the papers after that meeting ended. I thought to myself, "Well, I did my best. I passed on the message as I promised. If his father forgets, there'll be nothing more I can do." In my heart, I thought his father would forget, because he seemed quite busy that day. Sure enough, the little boy came by reception again, but this time I told him that I passed on the message. Something changed in his demeanor. He went from being anxious to being assured. I saw trust in his eyes. He nodded and ran back to his activities, not looking back. And to my surprise, his father fulfilled his promise: he printed the papers. And I thought, "Just like that?"

Repentance:
How many times have I asked God for something and I felt He didn't hear me or consider me because He's too busy to care about my "papers"? Countless.  How many times have I begged God to answer a prayer because I believed I had to convince Him it was for a good cause? Countless. But how many times has God answered  my prayers according to His will? Countless.

 13And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do,
that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
14If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.
-John 14:13-14

Diary Entry No.4 : "I'm proud of you"

07 July 2025
Dear Father,
One Sunday after church, some of the church members gathered outside for fellowship and coffee. In the crowd, I noticed a father holding up his newborn child for all to see. A bright smile was pasted on his face as he walked around, delicately but proudly holding up his child as he greeted others. As expected, many people gushed over the cuteness overload. But it was the father's adoring pride that stood out to me. I thought to myself, "This baby hasn't done anything. Why is his father so happy?"

Repentance:
Is God proud of me? I don't know if I'm the only one who has this question pop up every once in a while. But when it does pop up, I'll list all the reasons why He shouldn't be proud of me. But in the covenant of grace, God has forgiven us all our sin. As soon as we become born again, we claim the standing that belongs to Christ before God. This verse right here reminds me that if God is proud of Jesus, He is proud of me too:

6 As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him.
17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
-Matthew 3:16-17

30 July 2025