I Say a Little Prayer

The kingdom of Camelot is my home. I love it with my whole heart. If I could take the land, ball it up, and hold it close to my chest so that I’d never be away from it again, I would. I would take it with me everywhere. Unfortunately, the only reminders of home that I can take with me are my armor and my horse, Gringolet. I’ve put ample work into the care and construction of my armor. It glistens through the day and even the night, as a reminder of the pride I have in my country. I had so much hope for myself and the life I was going to live there.

Christmas Eve, almost a year after the challenge, I stood outside in the cold. It had been a brutal few months. I don’t think my own mother could’ve recognized me. I was having no luck finding the chapel or the knight in green. It was looking pretty grim. Some things don’t turn out the way they’re supposed to. I prayed that I would be able to find some way out. I prayed to find shelter and someplace to attend Mass. I was weary, but I knew that the Lord and Mary would hear me. They had to.

It was an act of God that I stumbled upon a castle, a beautiful one at that, all white. I had wandered alone for so long, it felt like my mind was playing tricks on me, but it was real. Maybe someone was listening to my prayers. I knocked three times and before I knew it, I was whisked inside by a boisterous man called Lord Bertilak. He knew who I was immediately, which surprised me. I was a long way from home. He said it that I was famous for the pentangle on my red shield. Lord Bertilak’s voice was loud, and my ears rang when he spoke. He looked anywhere between thirty and fifty with a face that you just couldn’t quite place.

“It’s rare to see a celebrity around these parts, you know,” he said, clapping me on the back, causing me to stumble forward a bit.

“Oh, I wouldn’t consider myself much of a celebrity.”

“Nonsense! You have a reputation that precedes you, my boy!” Lord Bertilak said, laughing heartily.

I sighed as I began to observe my surroundings. It was warm, a welcome change from the frigid weather. There were a few tapestries lining the walls and more notably, animal heads. He had quite the collection and their eyes seemed to be watching my every move. I wasn’t fond of hunting for sport, but it wasn’t my business what others did, so I kept quiet. Something about the place made me nervous, but I chalked it up to lack of sleep.

“Say, is it true that you’re going to assume the throne someday?” he asked, making simple small talk as we continued down the corridor.

“I’m the next in line, but I don’t know,” I answered, looking down at the ground. I loathed these kinds of questions. “If I don’t find the Green Chapel in a few days, I suppose it’ll go to someone else.” I didn’t know who else it would go to besides myself. I thought of my brothers. If I died at the hands of the Green Knight, maybe Agravain would become the next successor. My youngest two brothers would obviously be unsuitable due to how succession worked. Whatever became of me, I knew that their futures would be bright.

“The Green Chapel? Well, that’s only a few miles from here! I can show you, no problem!” It was almost too easy, but I thought nothing of it. I liked when solutions fell into my lap. Who was I to question that?

I thanked him for his hospitality and we continued in light, idle chatter as he escorted me to my room. His staff was attentive and kind. I’d expect nothing less from a generous man such as Lord Bertilak. The room itself was magnificent. It was dripping in gold and luxurious items were scattered about everywhere. I wondered if he treated all guests this way. As I settled in, we agreed that I could stay for Christmas. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if he had said no, so I was grateful. For once, the evening was fairly uneventful. We played games and drank wine. It was around then that he introduced me to an old woman who did nothing but creep me out and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. No big deal. I’ll look back at that time fondly.

So, the next few days, and hear me out, I messed up pretty badly.

The pentangle on my shield that I was known for was symbolic in many ways. Each point held meaning to me. Five senses, five fingers that never failed me, my devotion to the five wounds of Christ, his mother, Mary and her virtues, and lastly, the five knightly virtues. It’s a lot to remember. Trust me, I know. I have it painted on my shield as a reminder to be as good as I can be. It’s how I want to live. Some people have said that it was unrealistic, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me! The problem with having unrealistic standards for yourself is that you won’t be able to meet them, and you will be disappointed when you fail. I also know that from the days spent at the castle.

It all began with a kiss and someone else’s wife… also someone else’s husband. It happens to the best of us, right?

Source: Sir Gawain and the Green Knight translated by Jessie Weston

Header Source: Pentangle by Stephen (Flickr)

Author’s Note: Wow, this took me forever to write. Part two was filled with information and all of my earlier drafts turned out so boring. Part two includes Gawain leaving home and he gets into fights with magical creatures and other things. He’s somewhere in Wales. It’s cold and he’s not having a good time. He prays a lot, has many nightmares, and eventually stumbles across a castle that was sooo totally there before. Most of the poem talks about his armor and him going into the castle. Bertilak is basically as I described him, and he also has two ladies with him, one beautiful, and one not so much. I took a few creative liberties in giving them a few interactions that didn’t take place but did offer a little bit about Gawain’s background that I just… know now. Essentially, it is a little bit different, but I did my best to keep the essence of the original with a few added in things. I also started with part three. I kind of had to combine them, but I’d rather discuss that when I cover it in full next time. I think it would give away a lot. It’s so much information. I wasn’t sure if I was going to even do a chapter on part two, but here we are.

Hope everyone is doing well!