Social Psychology - Relationships

Learning Objectives:

1. Describe what is known about the consequences of secure versus insecure attachment in adult relationships.

2. Aspects of well-being.

Attachment Theory

Adults with secure attachment generally have healthier and more stable romantic relationships than those with an insecure attachment. They are comfortable with intimacy and autonomy, and are able to seek and provide support from and to their partners. Secure individuals often have good levels of satisfaction, minimal conflict, and high levels of trust. They are also less likely to experience breakups than people with insecure attachment and are more likely to form meaningful bonds with their partners.

Insecurely attached individuals tend to have abnormal relationships with intimacy and autonomy. These people might either withdraw from their partners completely or crave their attention constantly. They might avoid meaningful interaction with their partners or feel the need to be around them constantly. They may become overly dependent on their partners, which can strain their relationships. People with insecure attachment can have less satisfying relationships than those with secure attachment and experience higher chances of conflicts and breakups.

Attachment theory also stresses that attachment styles are not fixed. Positive experiences, especially those with a supportive and responsive partner, can create greater security over time. Therapy and other forms of mindfulness can also help improve attachment style issues. Even though early attachment experiences provide a lasting foundation for when we become adults, we can still grow and change through positive emotional experiences.

Relationships and wellbeing

Well-being can be influenced by many aspects of our lives. The quality and presence of social relationships influences well-being greatly. Having strong social connections, friends, family, and romantic partners, is shown to relate to an impact on overall well-being. Research shows that people with more socialization an relationships report higher happiness and overall satisfaction. Having a low number of high-quality relationships can be more beneficial to well-being than having many superficial connections.

Relationships also affect mental health. The absence of relationships leads to people feeling lonely, depressed, and isolated. For example, ostracism can cause emotional pain that affects the brain in the same way as physical injury. On the other hand, having supportive, substantive relationships provides emotional security and relieves stress. These are both important aspects to mental and physical health. Close relationships allow for social support, a fulfilled sense of belonging, and opportunities for personal growth. These are all factors that contribute to better well-being.

Unfortunately, not all relationships are beneficial. Poor-quality relationships, comprised of stress or abuse, are harmful to emotional well-being. In the workplace, positive relationships with colleagues and supervisors can lead to greater job satisfaction and reduced stress, while toxic work environments have the opposite effect. Ultimately, the quality, rather than the quantity, of relationships play an important role in shaping our overall well-being.

What attracts us to others?

Proximity

Proximity, physical nearness, is useful for forming friendships and romantic relationships. Simply put, being close to others increases the chances of interaction. Interaction leads to familiarity or attraction. People often bond with those they see frequently. In the virtual world, proximity can be had in places like chat rooms. Functional distance creates the chance for connection.

Familiarity

The more we engage with someone, the more likely we are to view them positively. This is known as the “mere exposure effect.” Repeated exposure to a person, or any stimulus, increases the amount we like that thing. Familiarity allows us to predict others’ behavior, which allows us to have a sense of safety and ease.

Similarity

People are generally drawn to others who share their values, interests, backgrounds, and opinions. Alignment allows for mutual understanding and validation, making more interactions more comfortable and rewarding. Couples generally match in areas like age, education, and beliefs. This is known as the “matching hypothesis.” Similarity can allow for stronger, lasting connections in both friendships and romantic relationships.

Reciprocity

Reciprocity is a fundamental principle of human interaction. It is the tendency to like people who show us that they like us. When someone shows us interest, we are more likely to respond positively. Relationships without reciprocity can feel one-sided and unsustainable. People value relationships where affection, support, and respect are equally reciprocated.